I recently bought a The Goddess Oracle Deck & Book Set, and I’ve gotten into the habit of pulling a card each morning. And the strangest thing has been happening.
No matter how much I shuffle, I get Morgan. And the last time a friend was over, she showed up for her, too. The Goddess obviously has something to tell me.
I didn’t really know much about Morgan Le Fay, except that references to her can be found throughout the Arthurian legends, that she’s supposedly a fairy (neé fay), and the main character in a book called The Mists of Avalon that’s been sitting on my shelf, unread, for no less than five years.
In July, prior to her recurring role in my morning routine, I went to Glastonbury, her home turf. I put my feet in the Chalice Well and Gardens, and did not hear her siren song. I felt zero connection to her. I always thought Kali, Kwan Yin, and Artemis are more my jam anyway.
According to my deck, Morgan Le Fay is there to help us honor our own rhythms and show us that we are the master and mistress of our own clock when it comes to eating, sleeping, exercising, and making love. Since my routine is pretty on point (what up, black tea, Body By Simone, 8+ hours of sleep per night), it felt like this was about something else entirely. So I decided to do some digging. And that’s when I began to hear Morgan’s song.
In books, Morgan Le Fay is a healer, a heroine, a seductress, or sorceress. Her realm of expertise lies beyond the concrete (unlike my beloveds, listed above). Morgan is a bit harder to pin down, and often considered controversial. Her influence is consistently twisted and turned in service of a story.
So it looks like Morgan and I do have some things in common; my essence too can be twisted and turned in service of stories.
Observe:
Ellie the Healer: In 2008, Ellie was diagnosed with a permanent pain condition in her lady parts. Through ecstatic breathwork, deep relaxation, emotional exploration, copious amounts of sleep, a cleaner diet, and routine exercise, she healed herself and now is fully functioning down there and everywhere.
Ellie the Heroine: An average student at an intense high school, Ellie decided to get her shit together and ended up graduating magna cum laude from Northwestern University. She had a moderately successful career in the film business, before heading off into the sunset to explore the world as a spiritual tourist and pursue her dream career as a writer. She often uses the monomythaka the hero’s journey in her personal essays, in service of helping herself, and others, evolve.
Ellie the Seductress: Ellie often uses her words and body to attract and send messages. She is warm-hearted and vulgar-mouthed. She likes putting pictures of herself online that show off her body by Simone. She’s uses extreme amounts of eye contact and takes an inordinate amount of pleasure in distracting people from their work in favor of more hedonistic pursuits.
Ellie the Sorceress: Ellie believes anyone can talk to the Universe and that it will talk back. She often makes decisions based on astrology, and consults psychics, tarot card readers, and mediums when necessary. She relies heavily on her intuition and ardently believes in the existence of the soul. She claims to have had visions of things before they happened. Kind of like Malcolm Butler in the Super Bowl.
In addition to the above, I can also identify with the loving sister, nagging girlfriend, super-down hook up, naïve millennial, fearless adventurer, or reclusive homebody. For as long as I can remember, I have tried to define my person using personas, casting myself as characters in various stories as a means of figuring myself out. Humanity is really hard to make sense of, and that’s why we’re busy telling so many stories in the first place. And we all know where stories are generated: solely in the mind.
That thing in our chest – it’s a place of confusion. The heart knows no classification, no characters, no story. It knows nothing – but it feels everything. That’s why someone who “follows his/her heart” is someone who we would call “free.” Free from the judgment, free from stories.
I think Morgan wasn’t a Goddess at all. I think she was an actual human being, and that’s why she’s hard to identify with and her role and influence greatly debated. Morgan will never be just one thing. Neither will I. And so I choose to see her as a real woman, suspended between mind and heart, trying to make it work in Medieval Times. I can so relate; bubonic plagues and lack of electricity aside, Millennial Times has its challenges, too.
Okay Morgan, message received. Drop the stories. Drop the personas. My everyday Goddess deck just wants me to be an everyday woman. An everyday human.
Nota Bene: For more on archetypes see Katy Perry’s Elle cover story. For more on “real” women: See Maggie Gyllenhaal’s acceptance speech at this year’s Golden Globes.
Enter the year of the Sheep, gentlest beast of the Chinese zodiac and harbinger of creativity, peace, and healing. Here’s how to make the most of this Cosmic gear-change in the months to come…
What’s weird is that in China people traditionally avoid having babies in Sheep years, as these passive personality traits are perceived as a weakness. But actually, isn’t more empathy for others, more nurturing, and more open-heartedness exactly what the world needs right now?
If last year’s Horse energy was all about putting ourselves out there in the name of progress, then the Sheep ushers in a time of quiet reflection, and careful consideration about the impact our actions have had on the wider world. Our best work will be done behind the scenes, and in the moments we feel safe to settle into our creative flow.
Relating to the Western astrological sign of Cancer, home and family are where the heart is in 2015. But as the Sheep is the 8th sign of the Chinese zodiac, correlating with this being an Eight Year numerologically, there is also the opportunity to cash in on the bold initiatives we began under the entrepreneurial influence of the Horse.
Here are eight key Sheepy themes to work with in the months to come:
FORGIVENESS The Sheep bears no grudges. Virtually every spiritual tradition teaches that forgiveness, of ourselves and others, is pretty much essential on the path to enlightenment, and here comes your opportunity to let bygones be bygones. Even if the bygone in question involves a cheating rat, or a backstabbing biatch. Remember; their actions could only be born of suffering (as, you know, the Buddha might put it).
HEALING The licking of wounds, both physical and emotional, is actively encouraged this year. No more suffering in silence or simply soldiering on, Sheeple! It’s time to embrace the idea that only once you are fully whole will you truly be free to thrive. Where to start? Your intuition knows where your deepest issues lie. From there, you might want to check out our Nu Review to find a Numi-approved practitioner near you.
GENEROSITY When was the last time you truly sacrificed of your self for the benefit of others? And no, sharing your HBO Go password with everybody in your apartment block doesn’t count. The Sheep is the humanitarian of the Chinese Zodiac, and since the dawning of the Sheep year coincided with the philanthropic Aquarius New Moon, the stage is set for us to rethink how “I” can benefit this year, to include the Universal “we”.
SELF-NURTURING This goes hand-in-hand with healing, and prioritising your self-care schedule this year is about tapping into a unique opportunity for regeneration. 2015 is the year of the Wood Sheep (each year also has a corresponding element), and since the Wood element is associated with all living things, there’s a Spring-like theme of renewal in the air. Time to scrub yourself clean, inside and out, and detox step forth all shiny and new.
DIPLOMACY Let’s all play nice this year, yeah? And that goes for you too, politicians. The Sheep invites us all to strive for peaceful negotiations in 2015, to temper our own agendas and embrace the concept of compromise. This isn’t about keeping your opinions to yourself, more an invitation to see each situation from all sides.
INTIMACY Let your secret softie show! It’s amazing how people warm to you when you show your vulnerabilities, and the Sheep year encourages wearing your heart like medallion of honor. Bye-bye bravado, hello real heart-to-heart connections. The kind new best friendships, authentic life partnerships, and life-altering family breakthroughs are made of.
CREATIVITY An open heart also creates an aperture for you to connect to your inner muse. As the Wood Sheep heightens our sensitivity to the world and the people around us, artistic expression becomes catharsis, a way to channel our subconscious in service of making our world a more beautiful place. The soul speaks in mysterious ways; and our creativity is what gives it a voice in the material world.
ACCEPTANCE Don’t fight it. Make “I surrender” your mantra this year, and then just watch how much more fluidly life unfolds. This is not, we repeat NOT, about adopting a pushover stance and allowing yourself to be taken for a ride. Rather, it’s a time for tapping into the Universal oneness energy, and trusting, simply, that whatever you’re being asked to accept today is in the ultimate service of your highest good.
How will you be working with the Sheep energy this year? Connect with us and share your journey on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Love chocolate? Well chocolate loves YOU! We discover how in ceremonial doses, raw cacao is a powerful heart opener that paves the way to transformation through self-love…
Heart Beats Raw Cacao and Dance Ceremonies founder Guinevere Short
A while back, we had an intern working at The Numinous who celebrated turning 21 at a raw cacao ceremony. “Most of my friends would have been downing shots of tequila…but I was getting high on chocolate!” she joked. But it turns out raw, ceremonial grade cacao has been used for centuries to unlock euphoric states, release negative emotions, and connect to pure heart energy.
Chocolate + ecstatic healing and transformation. Seriously, is anybody NOT down for some of that?
Guinevere Short has been working with cacao in ceremony since she founded Heart Beats Raw Cacao and Dance Ceremonies in 2013. We got her to give us the lowdown on why chocolate is essentially a catalyst to radical self-love…
WHERE AND WHEN DID CACAO CEREMONIES ORIGINATE? It’s thought cacao was first used as a health elixir and ceremonial medicine as far back as 1900 BC by the ancestors of Central America, the Olmec people, before becoming a ritualistic medicine used by the Aztec and Mayan cultures. Signifying both life and fertility, it was ingested by Royalty in ceremonial God worship and in sacrificial ritual.
CACAO IS ASSOCIATED WITH UNIVERSAL LOVE – WHY IS THIS? IS THIS WHY WE GIFT CHOCOLATE TO OUR LOVERS? Due to certain active ingredients that help release ‘feel good’ emotions, cacao is considered a heart opener. Creating feelings of emotional intimacy and pleasure, it has long been considered a luxurious delicacy, especially with the addition of sugar and spices to suit modern palates. Without realizing, we still get to enjoy a small fraction of it’s potential when we eat cacao in a regular chocolate bar. And yes, this is why it has become associated with romantic gestures and pleasurable indulgence!
Guinevere with her shamanic drum photographed in Thailand, 2014
WHAT IS A CACAO CEREMONY, AND WHEN DO PEOPLE SEEK THIS MEDICINE OUT? A cacao ceremony is an opportunity to connect to yourself and open your heart. Because of cacao’s ability to increase your connection to your inner self and your heart chakra, it aids in any transformational shift you are working towards, whether you are looking to deepen your understanding of who you are, release old patterns and traumas, or move into a more self-confident space. Whatever your path, the intention is yours to set, and the cacao allows you to the insight and awareness to move towards that goal.
HOW DOES A CEREMONY GO – WHAT’S THE RUN OF PLAY? I have attended many different ceremonies, and they vary in their approach. I was introduced to cacao initially by my mentor, Daisy Kaye, who brings in a powerful five elements dance journey, and I have also worked with a shaman in Guatemala who honors the cacao with meditation and inner reflection. In the ceremonies that I hold space for, we begin by sitting in sacred circle, honoring the cacao spirit with shamanic prayer, and humbly asking for our intentions to be heard. We serve the cacao in liquid form, and drink together.
Depending on what’s being called for, I intuitively offer sound healing or meditation. We then enter into a sharing with each other, of what we want to let go of and what we are calling in, which creates an intention for our journey. This is a very safe and intimate space, and the people that attend always surprise themselves at how they are able to open up to strangers, especially when they start to realize they we are all a mirror for each other, all just human beings with the same fears and sufferings, the same hopes and dreams. We end with dance, during which the cacao activates within the body and the heart, allowing a truly transformative and ecstatic process to unfold.
HOW IS THE CACAO SOURCED AND PREPARED? WHAT IS A CEREMONIAL DOSE? I have used cacao from Bali, Equador and Mexico, but I discovered a ceremonial grade cacao sourced in Guatemala by a man now internationally known as the Cacao Shaman, who has been working with the medicine and connecting it to the Western world for many years. Keith and his Guatemalan compadre Tat Isaias (Tat meaning Shaman) work alongside the local indigenous community to provide the highest grade cacao possible, grown in the purest conditions and harvested and prepared with love. A ceremonial dose is around 1 – 2 oz of cacao, mixed with water into a drink. Traditionally cacao was served with chilli and honey, but I have sometimes combined it with other herbs or super foods to assist a particular journey.
WHAT IS THE IMMEDIATE PHYSIOLOGICAL EFFECT? One of the main active ingredients that we experience in our physiology during ceremony is Theobromine. Theo-broma literally translates as God-Food, and potentiates the release of dopamine, the ‘pleasure’ hormone. This, alongside phenethylamine, which is known to help relieve stress and depression and which is released in the body during emotional euphoria, create heightened sensation and empathy. Alongside these, the high amount of nutrients in the cacao support and nourish the body, whilst also inducing a detoxifying effect on the liver and kidneys.
AND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT? Due to the euphoria inducing ingredients, the emotional impact can be profound. Everything feels heightened within the physical and emotional body, including your awareness to your deepest sense of self and to your heart. The experience of love and empathy, particularly for yourself, can literally feel as if your heart is opening like a flower. With this, the body can become flooded with the many emotions stored in the heart, some of which can be painful. It is not always an easy experience, and I have seen many tears shed as people peel away old layers of hurt. But as the cacao facilitates a deep sense of self-love, tears are always followed by smiles of deep gratitude. In other moments, the sheer ecstasy felt from the cacao can be described as nothing other than a divine experience.
Shiny, happy people: Sophie Teakle of The Numinous following a cacao ceremony with Guinevere in Guatemala
WHY IS THIS SUCH A PERSONAL PASSION OF YOURS? Because I believe in love! In the heart. In opening wide to our potential to follow that heart and be guided into the most alive and joyous expression of our selves possible. Acting on the momentum this creates, people can transform their lives to be living in their highest potential, creating positive experiences for themselves and everyone around them. This for me is a story of evolution; the more that people connect to self-love and awareness of themselves and their behaviors, the more that they can make loving and conscious choices for the greater good of all.
My personal story is that cacao has been part of a journey to heal myself from a chronic illness that left me bed ridden for most of a year. I had lost any sense of who I was or why I was here. Cacao came into my life at a time of transformation, and revealed insights to me that I had waited years for. It was a big part of restoring me to feeling fully alive in myself, totally connected, and fully empowered. Now I am truly blessed to be able to share that medicine with others.
HOW HAVE YOU SEEN PEOPLE’S LIVES CHANGE AS A RESULT OF WORKING WITH CACAO? I am continually amazed by the transformational aspect of working with cacao, and there have been many emails and phone calls to tell me that since the cacao ceremony, ‘everything has changed’. I think cacao gives you the space to enter into a place of deep reflection and self communion. It allows you access to the subconscious to reveal and heal the deepest aspects of yourself. Especially when used in a ceremonial and intentional way, cacao gives you an opportunity to move towards the fullest expression of who you truly are…and this can be catalytic in removing barriers in all areas of your life; relationships, career, personal growth, creativity, or wherever your focus is. Ultimately, cacao can help deepen your connection to your heart, and expand your capacity to love and be loved. In a world where we’re realizing that everything is love, that’s a pretty potent medicine. And everyone deserves a taste.
Find out more about Guinevere Short and what is a cacao ceremony at Heartbeatscacao.com, and connect with her on Facebook.
Fear of public speaking? Imagine if the Angels of Atlantis had your back…Stewart Pearce, a.k.a. The Alchemy of Voice, explains to to harness Angel energy and express yourself from the heart.
“We’re currently living through a vast vortex of a spiritual revolution – this is known as the Human Potential Movement. Through this period we are reaching points of initiation where people are waking up to the fact that their soul is crucial to the fabric of their life. I tune people in to the Song of their Soul through my role as a voice coach. Coaching in this way is about working with a person’s inner being, because our voice is an intimate part of our psyche…”
Stewart Pearce is a Master of Voice, and created The Alchemy of Voice as a process of sound healing using the human voice. He also has a leading edge team of celestial helpers that appear as Orb Light Beings, and which we know as Angels. In fact, Stewart channels the Angels of Atlantis to help guide his clients, who have included Princess Diana and Anita Roddick among other luminaries, to an harmonic communion with the Divine.
The more, shall we say, advanced students among the Numi community will be familiar with the 12 Archangels, who in turn represent the 12 archetypes of consciousness. For the uninitiated, there follows a conversation with Stewart about his work, and an introduction to each Angel and their specific realm of Cosmic prowess…
Did you always have a connection to spirit? “I grew up with the ability to see angels, but around the age of 9 or ten I shut that side of my self down because I realized that not everybody could see the things I did. I became an actor, and then a voice coach for actors, which is when I began to switch back on. I remember a leading actor in the West End telling me: ‘My God, you’ve helped me so much! But how could you know that my mother’s death had such an effect on me?’ I told him, ‘Well, she’s standing right next to you.’ And so I came out of the closet as a psychic.”
And when did you begin to work with the Angels of Atlantis? It was in Glastonbury, during the time of the Harmonic Convergence in August 1987. This was a very unique astrological configuration, where it was suggested by the Mayans that 144,000 Rainbow Light Warriors would be awoken to prepare for the great shifts leading up to December 21st, 2012. During that weekend, I went to sit on the tor to meditate, which is when I heard these extraordinary sounds. I was sitting with my eyes closed and when I opened them, I saw huge orbs of light, and I heard inside me: ‘We are the Angels of Atlantis, and we are going to give you a Temple of Sound Healing, called The Alchemy of Voice.'”
Far out! So how can we connect to the Angels with our voice? “We’ve been educated to be very cerebral, but we can all learn to emit certain frequencies, particularly through our voices, that allow us to feel a preternatural, a supernatural presence. What I do is I use sound, be it through speaking, or through chanting, to help people to feel a sense of harmony with their Angelic guides. There’s no formula to working with the Angels. It’s an experience. Do we think fall in love? No. We just know we’ve fallen in love. We feel it. And while humans love for the sake of being loved, Angels love for the sake of love, and so what they do is help us awaken to what’s in our own hearts.”
Why do people choose to work with you? “Most people come to me because they’re sad, the shit is hitting the fan, or they feel that life is completely moribund and mundane. The questions they ask are: “Why is this happening to me? What is my purpose? Where is the joy in my life?” There begins a conversation about the crises and the conflicts that have taken place in their experience, that have taken this beautiful being, this person of crystalline light, away from the source. What I do is plug people back in, so that the Angels can begin to provide them with magic and miracles again. We create an opening, an aperture into the council of the divine. And life is never the same again.”
In what ways do people begin to express themselves differently? “This relates to speech because when words arise from the heart, they will enter the hearts of those who are listening. And also because as soon as you plug back into the core of what we and life are all about, it is like falling in love – you want to tell the whole world. Out of that love, our physiology in turn opens up, and we become immediately very expressive. For as soon as we move into this frequency, people step forward with congruence. The quality of conversation one is having matches the quality of frequency one is holding. As with everything else, our experience is not happening to us, it is responding to us. That’s the Law of Attraction.”
:: G A B R I E L :: Archangel Gabriel is the DIVINE MESSENGER of God, who brings us inspiration in order to assist us with transition and change. Gabriel inspires us to receive divine unction directly from the Source. For Gabriel’s messages align us with who we truly are, blessed in the soul’s arousal of our spiritual path. Therefore, receiving this Angel’s inspiration means we fully discover that love and compassion are the only way forward to freedom – an initiation that is announced in the breath of heaven. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Gabriel
:: H A N A E L:: Archangel Hanael invokes us to champion our willpower with the shield of humility, and to live sustainable love through strength, integrity, courage and purpose. As the SACRED WARRIOR, Hanael evokes our spiritual muscles to be in peak condition, fostering a sense of direction that emits peace through each breath, hope in each movement, and integrity in each step. For make no mistake, we are receiving cosmic encouragement from the Angelic kingdom at this time of great soul-striding, to harmonize our cardinal virtues, so that we may meet the ascending vibrations of the Galactic Heart, and to ultimately move into the fifth dimension. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Hanael
:: J O P H I E L :: Archangel Jophiel is the cosmic force brought forth to aid us with the nature of our spiritual liberation. Jophiel lovingly frees us to comprehend the greatest teaching of the HOLY LIBERATOR, and like the great Buddha, to detachment through stillness. For this profound quality always releases us from conflicting feelings and erroneous thoughts, thereby we stir forgiveness, liberation, meditation and ultimate joy within our lives. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Jophiel
:: M E T A T R O N :: Archangel Metatron brings us the iridescent force of the SUPERNAL TEACHER concerning the things that were, things that are, and things that have not yet come to pass. Thus Metatron speaks from the core of this Oracle with Divine intelligence, miraculous power, refined wisdom and great mercy, startling us to act upon that which concerns our soul, that which helps us to recognize our wholeness. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Metatron
:: R A P H A E L :: Archangel Raphael, like the calm of the woodland spring, exists as an exquisite HOLY HEALER bringing our beings to commune with Mother Earth. This enriches our journey through the knowledge of interconnectivity, empathy and oneness, bringing all aspects of our lives back into harmony as we embark on our soul’s odyssey. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Raphael
:: M I C H A E L :: Archangel Michael is the embodiment of the Art of Alchemy, and like the Egyptian God Thoth, the Scribe of the Gods, skilfully enchants cosmic forces through us into direct rays of action. For Michael is the COSMIC LEADER of the Angels of Atlantis, lasering our lives in order to cleanse all negativity. Michael is aligned with the planet Jupiter’s energy, which moves us to expand our horizons through transmutation, patience, and the I am Presence, bringing us to enchantment. In this, Michael uses the love of the heart as a unique dialling force to make sure integrity takes full lodging in our consciousness. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Michael
:: R A Z I E L :: Archangel Raziel is the keeper of the DIVINE MYSTERIES and so this guardian Angel of Illumination is the keeper of the supreme knowledge of the soul, just as the Great Pyramid and Sphinx hold the secrets of bygone civilizations. Therefore, drawing Raziel into your daily devotions will allow you to experience life drawn from a deeply profound connection with the sacredness of the Cosmos. Once you allow this magic into your life the veil of illusion parts, and you will see life truly as it is, full of a love that stretches for infinity. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Raziel
:: S A N D A L P H O N :: Archangel Sandalphon’s unique force is as the SACRED GUARDIAN of the Planet, and of our earthly presence. Sandalphon is destined to draw the creative energy of Planet Earth into the evolutionary ascension of the Galactic Force, and through all living beings with love, intention as seen in the icon of Avebury Henge. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Sandalphon
:: S H A M A E L :: Archangel Shamael is the ultimate DIVINE GUIDE who watched over Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemene, and is appointed to equally look out for you in moments of great challenge. The vast love of this great Angel creates a ray of hope that always overshadows the burden of the mortal flesh, and transforming us to create the beauty that is always waiting to emerge. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Shamael
:: U R I E L :: Archangel Uriel represents the union of Heaven and Earth, made manifest through the great OM, and the beauty of the human heart, for within the individual heart is a space for a potential marriage between the physical flesh and the Godly Spirit. For the sonar of the heart is where the super coherence between Heaven and Earth, between Human and Divine takes place, in order for us to be conduits for the abundance of the Cosmos. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Uriel
:: Z A D K I E L :: Archangel Zadkiel as the DIVINE COMFORTER bestows beneficent wisdom upon us, allowing clear vision to take place over the obstacles that perpetuate the self-limiting beliefs we may hold – the impediments that stop us from enjoying spiritual abundance. Zadkiel not only shows us what needs to be brought forth into the light to be healed, but also clarifies how to intuitively heal it, which brings gratitude and security. So this exquisite Archangel, who governs the Tenth Chakra, and who arises from Uranus, teaches us to trust in God’s utter benevolence and guidance – to yield and let God comfort us. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Zadkiel
:: Z A P H K I E L :: Archangel Zaphkiel inspires us to great acts of sacred loving and thus governs the Second Chakra, which contributes to the depth of our relationship behaviors, and encourages us to feats of personal compassion and divine romance. Zaphkiel arises from Venus, the Planet of Love, and always appears when we call, reminding us of the love that arises from deep within the Source, that can be easily forgotten. This Angel moves us to find true compassion and ecstasy through the romance of life – those ideals of love that replenish our force – allowing us to surrender to passion, and pulsate with bliss and devotion for the Divine. Click here for a meditation with Archangel Zaphkiel
Stewart Pearce will be hosting a workshop titled The Angels of Atlantis and the Enchantment of Love in Los Angeles on February 14 2015. For more information visit Thealchemyofvoice.com
You’d like to get to know the little spirit you’re bringing into the world before you meet them, right? Cate Emond shares some simple ways to communicate with your unborn child. Images: Aurélie Raidron via Behance.net
There have always been the obvious ways of connecting with our unborn children; see women talking, singing, or reading stories out loud to our baby bumps. And whatever stage of pregnancy you Numi mamas are in, there are so many things you can do to feel bonded and connected to the little soul you’ve created a home for.
When I found out I was pregnant I was excited, but despite this I also felt very disconnected from my body, and from the little life steadily growing inside me. I realized I was going to have to go deeper into myself and my spiritual practise if I wanted to start creating a bond. Below are a few of my favorite ways to create that connection, and communicate with your unborn child:
:: Prenatal Meditation :: Prenatal meditation is really no different from regular meditation, the only difference being that a) you, or your partner, are pregnant and b) you are specifically using this time to connect with a little spirit. It can be just as simple as taking 15-20 minutes of your day to sit quietly on your own in a relaxed setting with no distractions, to tune into the energy inside. But I prefer guided meditations because they help me to visualize the baby – especially this one, which that also incorporates some kundalini yoga, as well as this prenatal belly dance and meditation, whiCh has helped me feel more connected with my body.
:: Creative Journaling :: I’ve kept a journal since I was a child, and more recently I’ve realized it’s not just a place to record the events of your day or how you feel. You could use yours to write letters to your little girl or boy, write songs or poetry, or create collages and vision boards about your future life together – the possibilities are endless.
:: Intentional Dreaming :: Dreams are a great way to send and receive messages from spirit. Before going to sleep, either think of the message you want to send or receive from your baby or write it down and place the piece of paper under your pillow. Keep paper and a pen by your bedside and record whatever dreams or messages came back to you as soon as you wake up. If the messages or images seem unclear, meditate on them for a few days, focusing on the feelings they arouse in you. You can also try this handy dream interpretation method I learned years ago:
Write down the events of the dream in short simple sentences.
Next, go back and underline one word in each sentence that jumps out at you immediately.
On a new sheet of paper, using the underlined words retell the dream as a brand new story in the way that best makes sense to you (but don’t think too hard about it).
People are so unique, and though many symbols have common universal meanings, they can still represent different things to different people. The point of this exercise is to get an interpretation that’s specific to you.
Early in my pregnancy I had a few minor complications and I was worried about losing the baby, so one night I asked for a message before going to sleep. The dream I had was about killer bees taking over my city, and I saw images of myself hovering over a little baby boy, protecting him. The next image I had was of a mailbox securely posted to a tree. I like to think that was a clever way of my baby letting me know he was safely waiting to be delivered, and that I was capable of providing a safe and protective environment. Much of my anxiety faded away after that dream.
:: Connecting with a Birth Intuitive :: Because I was feeling so disconnected from myself, and my pregnancy, I decided to book a session with a woman who specifically helps expectant mamas and couples communicate directly with what she calls their ‘spirit babies.’ This might be a great place to start with if you need a little bit of an outside boost to help get you in the spirit of connecting with your little spirit.
While preparing for my session with Colette, I had fun dreaming up questions such as “are you okay in there” (is my anxiety that obvious?), “how can I love you best?” and “what aspirations do you have for this life?” No question is off limits, though she was quick to point out that it wasn’t about prediction, simply connecting. It was an interesting experience, and I would recommend it for the reasons mentioned above, as well as just for the fun of it.
:: Angel Cards :: You can use any type of oracle card, but personally I love the Messages From Your Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. The messages are comforting, clear and simple to understand. I tend to do single card draws because I like the focus of a single message, but there’s no right or wrong way to do it. If I have one I ask a specific question, but if not I just ask for a general message and then I shuffle and wait for the right card to pop out.
:: Self Care :: Okay, maybe not technically a way to bond with your baby, but it is one of the most important things to remember during pregnancy. We spend so much time worrying about how we’re going to care for this brand new life, that it can be easy to forget to care for ourselves, and if you’re neglecting your own needs you’re most likely going to feel miserable. Not the most conducive environment for feeling bonded to the little human inside of you.
One of my favorite takeaways from my session with Colette was the idea of “grand-mothering” ourselves. She asked me to: “remember how grandma loved you…how grandma paid attention to you and gave you advice and support [when you were young]. This is the kind of self-love that is recommended for pregnant women.”
So bake yourself some chocolate chip cookies, snuggle up with a blanket and a cup of tea, and journal, or meditate, or do whatever feels right to you in the moment. There’s no right or wrong ways to communicate with your baby, but he or she is most definitely listening.
How do you communicate with your unborn child? Pregnant or not! Share your stories with us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
You can read more from Cate Edmond on her blog, and connect with her on Twitter.
“If Ayahuasca is the head medicine, Peyote is to heal the heart.” One woman shares her Peyote journey, and tells how the mystical cactus helped her find her family. Images: Daniel R. Moore (homepage) and Abbey Watkins (post), both via Behance.net
“I first heard about Peyote about four years ago when a friend told me about his experience in Arizona at the Church of Peyote, where he went to one ceremony after another for three months straight. I was captivated, and let him talk for three hours. His story was magical and he told it with so much love I could feel it. Also having known him for a while, I could see how his experiences had changed him as a person.
He continued to tell me whenever his “Roadman” (what the Church of Peyote call their Shaman) was doing a ceremony, and I always thought about doing it but the time was never right. Until my ex-boyfriend, also a mutual friend, texted me out of the blue three days after his first ceremony saying; “hey, I think I found OUR medicine.”
He and I share a very intimate knowledge of each other’s problems, and having taken Peyote he said he thought it could help me in the same way it helped him. And so six months later, when I found out that he was organizing a meeting in Europe in two weeks time, it felt like a no-brainer. I had $200 in my pocket, but I was like, ‘fuck it, I have to make it work.’
He’s a pretty social guy and word had got around, so there were about 40 people in attendance. It was taking place in quite a remote place, and I travelled 24 hours to get there and missed the first round of medicine, so I was asking everybody how it was. They told me; “if it’s for you, life will just make sense.”
But I already knew it was for me.
Each tribe has their own way of running their ceremony, but I’ve done four ceremonies with the same guys now and it starts with burning tobacco, which opens up a channel to the spiritual world. The Roadman runs the ceremony, and then there’s a Fire Chief, whose job it is to make sure the fire, the “Grandfather,” stays bright and beautiful all night.
The person arranging the ceremony is in the “sponsored seat,” and they set the intention for the night. The Doorman’s job is to make sure people are sitting in the right spot and to keep things clean when people “get well” (throw up). The Drummer drums for everybody individually, and we all sing. And if the men run the ceremony, one female is also chosen to bring food – corn, meat and fruit – and water in the morning.
After the tobacco the Sponsor sets the intention for the night, then the medicine starts rolling, which comes in completely different forms depending on the Roadman. My first time, it came in four forms – a paste, a fresh form, a tea and a cold juice, and we were invited to take a portion of each. It’s a very acquired taste and all you can smell for two days afterwards is Peyote…I can’t describe it, because there’s nothing else like it and you know it right away; the mescaline.
As for how it makes me feel? The first time it made me really, really tired. So tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open. So the challenge was to sit and pay attention for nine hours straight.
It also really amplifies feelings. If Ayahuasca is the head medicine, then Peyote is the heart medicine. With Aya you take it and you go somewhere else, but with Peyote you’re completely grounded. I could talk to you like I am now, no problem, it’s just everything is amplified. In your head you’re able to connect the dots, like when you’re smoking weed, but in your heart it’s like taking MDMA – when you feel connected to everything, and you’re able to understand what everybody else is feeling.
Some people get trippy visuals but I never have. That first time I did feel raindrops on my shoulder which obviously weren’t there, and which turned into a feeling of joy that spread over my whole body. For me it feels like love is in that tepee, I don’t know how else to explain it. And afterwards, I always feel supercharged.
After my first time, I did two more ceremonies in the space of two weeks. I only took a small amount the first time and didn’t get well, but the second time I decided I wanted to dedicate my experience to different people in my life and wrote down ten names – so I took a spoonful of medicine for each of them…and got super well!
I saw it like there was obviously something that needed healing in each of those relationships, because when I took a spoonful for each of the same ten people the next time, I was flying high – a high that lasted six months. You go to places in your head where you get so emotional, and I often cry all the way through which is an amazing release in itself.
Now I feel like I’d do it once a month to keep me on track, like you might see a therapist. It can become a way of life, but for some people once a year is enough. Personally, I’d like to learn more, to understand the culture more and all the details about how to run a ceremony. They’d never let a woman put the tepee up, but I’m fascinated by the way they tie the knots in a certain way to honour the elements and stuff…and to learn about it, I just need to spend more time with them.
Also, the Roadman I follow is hilarious – he’s covered in tats, like a Mexican gangster, and he’s a funny motherfucker! For me he bridges the gap between my world and the ancient spiritual world, which makes it all so much more relatable to me. I told my friend I think I’m in love with him; he was like, ‘get in line!’
More recently, visiting Phoenix Arizona for a ceremony to celebrate the 13th wedding anniversary of my Roadman and his wife was one of the most beautiful things I’ve every experienced. I felt so blessed to go to the place where they’ve been doing these ceremonies for thousands of years. It was like visiting the holy land. But I’ve also done one with a different tribe in the Bronx in New York City, which was run by my Roadman’s ‘brother.’
People in the Peyote families know each other as relatives, and they believe that if you bring a partner into the circle and sit next to each other, that means you’re partners for life. It comes down to the fact that if you know this medicine works for you, then you feel a connection to other people in the same circles. It’s like there’s something in your makeup that’s the same, or you understand that maybe you experience the same kind of problems in life.
For me, the most beautiful part of my whole experience has been learning what real family connection feels like. Seeing how much the families respect each other, it’s ridiculous – and it’s why I keep going back.
Growing up, I never understood what family values were – my parents were there, but not emotionally. We’re very distant as a family. My friends are the people I would take a bullet for – but through the ceremonies, I’m learning how to forge a connection with my blood relatives too. The most important lesson has been to understand their value in my life, and to respect that. I appreciate them more for who they are now – and understand why maybe I should text my mom just to tell her I love her from time to time.
Elsewhere, it’s brought me so much clarity. Meeting new people, I can tell what kind of relationship we’re going to have, and if I used to have a tendency to give too much, now I’m aware of when that’s happening so I can stop. It’s like I’ve been granted an outside perspective. I’ve also learned to listen more and absorb stuff without feeling like I need to react right away. To just sit, and pay attention. I feel like I approach everything in a more peaceful, patient and positive way. And my close friends have all been able to see it.”
Feed your mind, and the rest will follow…The 16 books in this Numinous reading list are guaranteed to rock your worldview, heal your life, and feed your soul.
:: Ruby Warrington :: “As soon as I heard about Russell Brand’s Revolution, I knew I had to read it. I’m a bit obsessed with how Russell has reinvented himself, and gone from ridiculous if charismatic addict and Hollywood wannabe, to bone fide Now Age guru – it reeks of a genuine spiritual awakening. His experience of this, told through the filter of his pop culture background, his intelligence, and with his entertaining way with words, is positioning him as one of the voices with the potential to really cause a shift in consciousness at a very mainstream level. The book is every bit as brilliant as I’d hoped, as entertaining as it is profound and agitating.”
:: Erin Telford :: “Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing by Caroline Myss was the first game changer for me. I read it in high school. I grew up in a total hippie household and we would get crystal therapy when we were sick and my parents had a guru, so this lifestyle was very comfortable to me but it wasn’t something that I had consciously chosen. It was just what I knew from my family. When I read Anatomy of the Spirit it was my first personal connection to the idea that we could heal our own bodies and that the Western medical system wasn’t the only model…was in fact a very poor and deficient model for healing. The concept of “dis-ease” blew my mind wide open because it just made so much sense. It opened me up to the vastness of what we could do as individuals to self heal.”
:: Alexandra Roxo :: “The book Be Here Now changed my life greatly at age 19. I saw that this world was merely a TV screen, a matrix of lights, all a constructed illusion, and how everything works together. I learned about food, karma, God…and something clicked. The knowledge Ram Dass spoke touched my soul and awakened existing wisdom within my heart. It was the first major awakening I had, and I remember thinking: “YES. Finally.” In 2014 I decided to listen to all of his talks on my iPhone and was re-inspired,10 years later.”
:: Erica Jago :: “What We Ache For: Creativity and the Unfolding of Your Soul by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, my dear friend who is a therapist and shaman. He shared the poem, “The Invitation,” with me and I wept. It was the first time I acknowledged and felt my own depth, and from that point forward my own personal healing began.”
:: Madeline Giles :: “The Master’s Touch: On Being a Sacred Teacher for the New Age by Yogi Bhajan. Yogi Bhajan was not a man. He was an avatar in a human suit – I guess we all are in some sense, but Yogi Bhajan was wide awake to it and the technology he transmitted to us is guaranteed (with consistent practice) to make you happy, healthy, and holy. Need I say more?”
:: Dani Katz :: “Right Use of Will: Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body. Hands down. No question. Right Use of Will came into my life several years ago, when I was heavily into ayahuasca, and tons of shamanic endeavors. It’s a channelled book – supposedly straight from the mouth of God – that lays out right and aligned third chakra relating. I take all channelled material with a grain of salt, but this book vibes high and true, and resonates on way too many levels for me to NOT take it to heart. It’s all about power – personal power, relational power, cultural power – what constitutes a distortion, and what serves the individual and the collective together. Since reading it, I move through life with a very clear certainty about how to exercise my own personal power with others and the world at large, while also being clear as to when others are out of line in how they are wielding their power with me/the world. It has since smoothed out my every human relationship, because I am clear as to what is right relating, as regards to will, and what isn’t. Armed with this knowledge, I know immediately when others are overcompensating for an underdeveloped third chakra, and can thus engage them in ways that support their empowerment.”
:: Sarah Hay :: “This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate by Naomi Klein, Six Degrees: Our Future on a Hotter Planet by Mark Lynas, and When A Billion Chinese Jump: How China Will Save Mankind — Or Destroy It by Jonathan Watts – these three books changed my life in 2014, and I believe that until people have read the information contained in them they will be functioning from a place of confusion, unknowing ignorance and powerlessness. Every single world event we are seeing today, from recent events of extremism in Paris, Nigeria and Syria, to extreme weather flashes in Gaza and the Philippines and water shortages in Yemen, plus extreme energy extraction in Canada, the US and the UK are all connected. We have the power to change everything, and climate is the one issue that’s teaching me this every single day.
:: Betsy Cohen :: The book I feel every women should read is Make Every Man Want You by Marie Forleo. Marie is a huge hearted genius. Not many people know that this book exists, and when I read it I thought: “This is everything that I’ve been channelling through readings (in my work as a professional psychic medium) for the past four years about relationships all in one place!” I always tell people I hate the title but LOVE the book.”
:: Jennifer Kass :: “A Course In Miracles. I always tell my clients it’s the template for reality. After knowing the basic spiritual truth that only love is real and fear is an illusion, we can drop everything we hear, think, learn into that template and know what’s real and what’s false, what will best serve us and what will not. Discovering the truth of reality freed me from fear and activated my own ancient love and knowledge within and allowed me to step into my divine life mission and become who I really am.”
:: Victoria Keen :: “It would have to be…The Holographic Universe: The Revolutionary Theory of Reality. I discovered it a couple years ago in my studies about Sound and the nature of reality, and it is a thorough and fascinating investigation into the gaping blind spots in modern science. It brings to light, in a very succinct and easily comprehensible way, a scientific paradigm for truly understanding our connectivity and the power our thoughts have on shaping ‘physical reality’. This books lays the ground work for all energetic medicine, and I am so grateful it exists!”
:: Raquel Griffin :: “HANDS DOWN, Marianne Williamson’s The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles. I discovered it a little over a year ago and it totally changed my life…..it’s the definition of a GAME-CHANGER. This book completely redefined how I thought about money, work – and miracles for that matter. Marianne clearly illuminates the spiritual aspect of money (i.e. that money and spirit are linked), which is absolutely key to understanding and ultimately breaking the lack cycle. I honestly believe if every human lived by the concepts she elucidates in this book, our world would be a VERY different place.”
:: Sophie Teakle :: “Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. I have listened to this more than once as a recording, and find new meanings every time. I’m also in the process of rereading The Kybalion which has such astounding depth and profundity I know it will be at my side for a life time, its meanings changing as I too grow and evolve.”
:: Laurie Di Biagio :: “The Alchemist. 18 months ago, this book opened my eyes to my own purpose – the fact that I too was on my own personal pilgrimage to the pyramids. That life is lived through the heart, not the head. And that what the heart tells you…you must follow. It came to be at the exact time it was meant to, as weeks later I embarked on a life of entrepreneurship.”
Is Astrology helping tell the story of human responses to climate change? With Saturn in Sagittarius and a scary new deadline to cut fossil fuel emissions, it’s time to pick each pilgrimage wisely, says Ruby Warrington. Images: Mariano Peccinetti
So this was going to be a post about how to use astrocartography to plan your vacations and retreats in 2015. Astrocartography is the practise of placing your birth chart over a map of the world, to see where the different planets hold the most influence for you – which is obviously completely fascinating, and I urge you to download your map here STAT!
But then I started reading Naomi Klein’s climate change manifesto This Changes Everything – and it’s become a story about how air miles feel like my most guilty pleasure.
Scanning my mind for my very favorite, most life defining memories, so many of them were made following the burning of a shit-tonne of fossil fuels – like the time I travelled to Greece as a moody adolescent, and got to experience another culture first hand for the first time. Or to Ibiza as a happy-go-lucky rave babe in my twenties, and to Miami to marry my husband, just the two of us, nervous and giggling like teenagers in the garden at the Delano hotel.
These are the memoires that exist in 3D Technicolor for me, aromas, emotions and all, and I had been fully intending to create many, many more in 2015. I’ve already booked a trip down to the Bahamas to swim with dolphins in February, which, considering I have a life-long phobia of snorkelling (I am a human, last time I checked I am not equipped for breathing underwater) I’m anticipating will be a game-changer for me.
Then there’s Lauren and Joe’s wedding in London in March (my biggest matchmaking success story), and the big ol’ Santa-Fe-to-Big-Sur road-trip I’ve been loosely fantasizing about.
But since This Changes Everything, I’m beginning to relate to the part of my mind that continues to think it’s totally okay to jump on a plane somewhere every other month like that creepy, morally corrupt dude Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. There is shame, and there is a degree of disgust.
In her book, Klein says it’s our collective “climate change denial” (i.e. continuing to jump on planes places every other month) that means we’re currently facing a situation where, according to the International Energy Agency (IEA): “If we do not get our emissions under control by 2017 our fossil fuel economy will ‘lock in’ extremely dangerous warming.”
By “lock in,” they mean seal the deal on irreversible changes to our global climate, which could trigger completely devastating environmental disasters on an as yet unimaginable scale – the trailer for which disaster movie has already begun playing on a loop.
Klein’s manifesto makes for scary but what feels like essential reading. Relating to the 28% of fossil fuel consumption attributed to the transportation industry, it’s also got me thinking about Saturn, planet of harsh life lessons, restriction and karma, recently having stationed in globe-trotting, happy-go-lucky Sagittarius. Where it will remain until – you guessed it – December 19 2017, a.k.a. pretty much D-day on potential environmental Armageddon. Which suggests that the next three years are about a stern approach to re-thinking our attitudes to why, when and how we travel.
Wow, it sucks being stuck in this materialistic human suit sometimes. At the center of my being, my soul intelligence can be finally waking up to the fact that it’s time for some RADICAL FREAKING CHANGES, but still my physical body will argue; “not quite yet though, yeah? Swimming with those dolphins is seriously gonna rock your world…”
The hard-core environmentalists will argue that there is no room, or time, for compromise. But the Titanic won’t turn on a dime. Which is an interesting metaphor in itself, considering it’s also been predicted that a rise in sea levels resulting from the disintegration of the West antarctic ice sheet (due to global warming) could wipe out coastal metropolis’ like New York, LA and London by 2100.
And I know, I KNOW. But how about, for now (really though, NOW), we commit to only travel for true pilgrimage. It’s an idea that’s also in keeping with Saturn in Sag, the notion that our journeys must have real purpose, and if it meant we all took just one trip a year instead of five, wouldn’t that be going some way towards meeting the IEA’s 2017 targets? As for all those business trips, the jaunts across continents for meetings that really need to take place face-to-face…um, isn’t that why we invented Skype?
As always, writing and thinking about environmental issues makes me feel like a total hypocrite and also extremely naive (you too, I know, which is why it feels so much nicer to just keep looking the other way), because of course I’ll be going to that wedding. Obviously a trip to Berlin to meet my new nephew this summer counts as a pilgrimage too, right? And actually, isn’t this all just too little, too late?
But as a mere human, a microscopic particle in the organism of our collective Earthly consciousness, I have no real choice but to believe that even the one, or two, or three trips I choose not to take this year will make a difference. A theory that only really works if I’m not the only one making those choices.
So then how to choose the journeys that are really worth waiting for? A while ago I had my astrocartography chart read by a British astrologer called Zoe Hind. It’s all way too complicated for me to explain in detail here, but below is a map of my chart to give you an idea.
The different colored lines represent the planets, and the labels at the top and bottom – “MC, IC, AS, DS” – show their highest and lowest points, as well as where they are ascending and descending. The idea being that a planet ascending over a certain country means it’s influence will be strengthened there. The reverse if it’s descending. So where there are lots of lines, shows where in the world there is the most cosmic potential for you.
Thinking in terms of my personal and spiritual growth (i.e. “pilgrimage”), this looks a lot like Hawaii, South America, Africa, Scandinavia, and Russia / Tibet. None of which have factored in my travels to date. But with cosmic healer Chiron strong over the Pacific, Hawaii could be the ideal location for a solo retreat, says Zoe – opposed to a group trip, as Uranus, planet of group activity, is also at it lowest there.
South America, the Amazon in particular, is where my Sun, Venus, Mercury and Chiron, all in my fourth house of family roots, are “going to sleep.” The interpretation? “If you were going to have an; ‘I want to get away from myself, change my mind and challenge my core beliefs in a group scenario’ sort of trip, then obviously South America is looking very strong. Because the planets in your 11th house of groups (Uranus, North Node) are also lit up.” Which sounds about right for the ayahuasca experience in Peru I’ve got scheduled for somewhere around age 50.
As for putting my money where my mouth is for now though, and simply staying put? When I moved to New York from London in 2012, I had a visceral sense of destiny itself kicking me out of my comfort zone and into a new life across the Atlantic.
And wouldn’t you know, my Sun, the essence of my being, and Moon, representing my instincts and subconscious mind, meet high up in the sky, directly above this dirty, dramatic, endangered city. It’s my three-year anniversary next month, and the internal pilgrimage I’ve been on here has created some of my most momentous life milestones of all. So this year I commit to making lots more of those, RIGHT HERE.
Discover more about Zoe Hind’s astrology at AstroZo.com
We are bombarded with messages urging us to “be the light” – but what if true healing means embracing the darkest aspects of ourselves, asks Emily Tepper. Images: Andrew Robinson via Behance.net
Be the dark. Walk boldly through the unknown reaches of the soul.
This year, I am embracing my inner “dark worker,” because I’ve come to realize that actually our dark side is the most creative place to be. It is in the fertile void, in the dark, underground, where the seed germinates.
There are aspects of our creativity, our courage, and our power which, like a seed, can only incubate in total darkness. This is why my darkness has become my favorite place to be.
I have spent so much of my life trying to improve my dark moods, to lighten the dark humor that might provoke or offend the polite, and soften the sharp opinions that are often hard to hear and accept – even when getting right with them can be the most crucial step to getting out of denial. It’s meant denying the darkness in me that also translates as a low tolerance for bullshit, a quick temper, sudden rage, and profound grief.
It’s ironic though, that since I decided to accept my darkness, my moods have improved considerably. Like it was the constant pressure to “be the light,” the constant cultural shaming of the dark, that was half the issue. The dark is immensely powerful, and yet we are afraid of it.
But think about where the dark exists in our language: pure creativity “rises up,” from “the underground.” The answers to our most profound existential crises often lie buried in our “sub” conscious.
But the dark is where shame is lifted and new truths are actualized – as seen and witnessed only by those who are also willing to stray far enough from the safety of the will lit path to witness.
Every fairy tale Princess walks a dark night in the forest on her way to healing and reclaiming her majesty. To grow, she is made to face the utter fear of the wild and unknown. In the dark, and usually alone, it is through this journey that we find ourselves.
We’ve all heard stories of the Dark Night of The Soul, and how powerful it is to pass through it to the other side. We go on to heal others in our ascension to the light, but we become who we are in the dark.
So now consider this: maybe “black magic” isn’t evil at all, but actually where the alchemy happens. Perhaps there is a tremendous, almost disgusting, amount of power available to those who are willing to go there. Maybe that’s what makes the practitioners of the “dark arts” so frightening to the rest of us.
And before you villainize the villain, consider that in some countries it is dark for most of the day, most of the year even. What if your natural state of being is more Norway than Florida? My moods are like the weather of Siberia – cold and dark, with occasional bursts of incredible, irrepressible light. And I’ve decided I’m good with this version of myself. She doesn’t need improvement.
Our emotions are like a weather system. They are shifting constantly, and the seasons of the soul they represent are the very essence of change and manifestation.
If the spiritual “industry” is full of Light Workers – this year I am declaring myself a Dark Worker. And I urge you again to Be The Dark.
How will you honor your dark side in 2015? Connect with us and share your story on Twitter or Facebook.
How to navigate internal and external shifts in your Universe? Laurie DiBiagio shares her ten commandments for change.
At 29, I would like to graciously grant myself the title “Change Connoisseur.” I also don’t think claiming myself an aficionado of change at such a young age is in any way audacious. I have been blessed with three dominant, mutable signs: Sagittarius Sun, Pisces Ascendant, and a Gemini Moon. I was designed by the stars to mutate.
With this astrological recipe, life is ever-changing for me: exciting, exhausting, emotional, and inspiring. I love it, but I often feel like there is never a moment to fully catch my breath. Somehow I never fall short. With all my experience in the fields of eternal transmutation, I believe I’ve earned myself an Olympic gold medal in reading the signs of transition and metamorphosis.
At the end of each year in my 20’s, I always ended up in a drastically different place from where I started. Ending one relationship to enter a new. Living in NYC to relocate to Hawaii (and back again). Quitting one job and starting the next. Thinking I was going to end up with him to finding the only person I needed to fall in love with was myself. Navigating my way through my parents’ chaotic and melodramatic divorce. Giving up the corporate world to becoming an entrepreneur. Living alone in a cottage studio 20 steps from the ocean on the North Shore, to sleeping on my mom’s couch. Going from adventurer and lover, to homemaker to vagabond, daughter, sister, student, teacher, and back again: multiple times. And this barely scratches the surface.
Within all this, one well-learned and highly prevalent lesson is that change doesn’t always appear victorious, or come in a neatly wrapped box with a shiny little bow. It is often very well disguised. It most likely won’t appear as anything spectacular and grandiose, BUT it will be perfectly placed, and it will be the exact tool that you need to continue on this great journey: good, bad, and ugly.
Ahh, the delightful path of the unknown. While at times it may appear devastating, it is always miraculous: never a punishment, always a gift. Everything manifests in our lives exactly at the point it is meant to. When we have learned all our lessons, of course, to allow that particular event to be released. Without change, how would we let go? To defy the force of change is to defy the Universe. Yet people do this every day, and some for their entire lives.
In defying the Universe, life becomes stagnant and difficult because you are no longer conscious or open to the abundance you are meant to receive. With that being said, and with no further adieu, here is my guide to conjuring and summoning forth the signs for dynamic change to occur in your life in a really intentional and “prepared” way. You must remember though, there really is no treading lightly into change. Change is meant to facilitate growth and enlightenment. Without trips, slips, falls, and some bruises we wouldn’t reach the next level. Change comes with light and dark energy, both with great purpose. You must accept this notion.
:: MY TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR CHANGE ::
1. Ban words like “restriction”, “limitation”, and “realistic” from your vocabulary. Do not allow the projections of fear and jealousy within yourself and others to poison your mind.
2. Don’t let the facts fool you. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Believe. Pray. Give gratitude. Find the blessings in your current situation. Be open and you shall receive.
3. Never hesitate to ask for help. Call upon Green Tara or your most present Ascended Masters and Goddess to show you the way, to reveal in time your next move. Our teachers, angels, and spirits are always here to guide us with their divine intuition and wisdom.
4. Always stay in your heart. No matter what, you can always come back to this space. I often find myself holding my pointer and middle finger down on my heart chakra or placing a rose quartz there in my savasana to remind myself to tap in. All change exists in the heart, not in the head. Stay here. Be still. Listen.
5. Embrace alone time. You time. Spirit time. Listen to music. Get out in nature. Meditate. Read your cards. Hold your crystals. Clear and shield your energy. This will keep you vibrating on a frequency that allows these magnificent little thought bubbles to enter your stream of consciousness. Make life a ritual.
6. Write. Write. Write. Write what is in your heart, your soul. Write your goals, hopes, dreams, and wishes. Write anything you desire. Nothing is too ambitious, for it would not exist within you if you weren’t meant to have it. Keep your words with you, or burn the pages and release the ashes to the universe.
7. Follow the Moon. Set intentions on the new moon, and release when it’s full. Bring your writing, oils, crystals, incense, deities, or anything else that serves you. Make it an art form.
8. When in doubt, pray it out. Just pray. TRUST. One small action every day toward your desires paired with good old fashioned genuine belief will leave you with a tried and true recipe for success.
9. Believe in miracles, they happen everyday. The Universe always provides. Do not forget this. Make it your Mantra.
10. Know that you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment. Now, let it go. Watch magic happen. You will know it when it hits you. Be aware. In the advice you speak to others, in the advice given to you, in moments that feel full of impending doom but are really full of grace, you will feel it hit you. Take the ride. Do not resist. There will be no denying it because you will feel it in every fiber of your being.
Laurie DiBiagio is a designer, maker, artist, entrepreneur and adventurer. You can follow her adventures through the wild unknown at Sirenaandthesea.com and follow her @sirena_and_the_sea
“Doing the work”. It’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in holistic / alternative wellness circles – but what does it actually mean? Is it like the time I went for acupuncture and was given “homework” to do – little sticky packs of Mugwort, called “Moxa”, to affix to my liver meridian and set light to like incense each night? Fair enough, I had been drinking quite a lot to avoid dealing with a stressful work situation, but wasn’t the state of my liver my practitioner’s to deal with?
Apparently not. If I’ve come to understand anything about how real healing, both physical and metaphysical, works in the past year, it’s this: ultimate wellbeing – just like ultimate abundance, ultimate freedom, and, ultimately I guess, ultimate bliss – is a collaborative effort between myself, whichever practise I happen to be working with at the time, and the all-loving, all-knowing Universe itself.
Looking back over the past twelve months, I can honestly say I’ve had one of the best years of my life. And not because everything just “worked out”, or opportunities fell from the sky like globules of golden bird poop. But in terms of my personal evolution, I feel like I’ve busted through blocks (to borrow just a little self-help speak) I wasn’t even aware were holding me back. Well maybe I was aware…but there’s NO WAY I was going to admit it and deal – not in this lifetime at least.
But deciding to face my demons, be my own knight in shining armour and slay the freakin’ dragon once and for all, looking ahead to 2015 I feel simultaneously like I’ve aged a decade and like I’m ten years younger. And it has not been easy. There have been tears, and there has been anguish. There has been much meditating, much journaling, and much reading of books with “Conversations” and “God” in the title.
But above all, there has been a very conscious decision on my part to actually “do the work”.
When I used to hear that phrase, I’d think it was referring to some kind of mystical alchemy that went on inside the body if you did enough yoga, took enough gong baths, or had enough therapy. As if the divine oneness was watching on, and would do some divine laying on of hands to absolve all your issues once you’d reached a certain quota of zen / worthiness.
2014, which shall forever more be referred to as “the year that changed EVERYTHING”, showed me that it’s actually way more prosaic than that. You want to change something? Move forward in your personal development? Bring about the internal “shift” that’s gonna raise your vibration to attract all the abundance you just know is out there waiting for you into you life? Then babe, the buzzword here is action.
For example, it’s one thing to accept that perhaps your cash flow issues are more to do with your attitude to money than the fact accounts clerks get off on withholding checks owed to you – and a whole other deal to weep buckets in a Family Constellations Therapy session as you see how it’s actually intrinsically linked to your Grandmother dying young, and your own mother not really knowing how to give you love as a result.
But the real work? That happens when you then do the Landmark Forum, and realize you actually have to call your mom and tell her it’s never really been okay that she loved your brother more than you, because she’d basically learned how by the time he came along. And then you actually do call her, and there are buckets more tears, but you end the conversation by telling each other how you feel like mother and daughter for the first time you can remember.
Phew! That’s what I call work. And it’s also where the “mystical alchemy” part comes in, because you know what? I’m facing down 2015 in a better financial position than ever. “Money” equates to “mother” in Jungian therapy after all.
And if dealing with my lack mentality was what I decided I wanted to work on in 2014, once the floodgates had opened it turns out it was time to tackle all the other niggling issues I began to realize were all a part of the jigsaw puzzle. Those feelings of lack…well weren’t they also contributing to my inability to share (the load, my visions, my real feelings)? This was another Landmark revelation – the full story / trauma of which I’ll share (now I’m getting better at it) in a later post.
One of my favorite things of all has been learning to work with my intuition this year – you know, actually act on my gut feelings about things, even if this often means taking the scarier, hairier route. If I started to meditate because I thought it would help me get more clarity and focus, little did I know the work my practise was prepping me for was the ability to first notice my truth, and then go stand in it, no matter how many people it might piss off.
And by meditation, I don’t just mean the ten minutes I manage on a good morning. By bringing the practise of being able to step back from my thoughts to everything I do – a hard core workout, a complicated writing assignment, my super intense / difficult / transformational experience at Burning Man, and, yes, my relationship with my mother, has been some of the most important work of all.
I actually predict that “work” and “money” are going to be big themes for us all in the coming months. In numerology, 2015 is a universal “8” year (you add 2+1+5), which is the number of challenges, personal power, and hard-earned reward for your efforts. In other words, do the work this year and the compensation could be bigger than ever. So here’s how…
First up, you need to define what you want to work on. And I say, go big. No shying away from that “thing”, it’s time to drag the monkey off your back, look it right in the eye and declare: GAME ON. (Oh but clue – the real monkey might not be what you think. Like my money issues turned out to be mother issues, the fact you have a hard time holding onto a relationship is, undoubtedly, all about your DAD).
Now just start looking around for the “way in”. Besides the Family Constellations work and the Landmark (which is pretty hard core, FYI), last year I also tried acupuncture, breathwork meditation, had regular visits with a shaman, hit the mat at The Class with Taryn Toomey, and worshiped at the church of IntenSati. Not to mention that transformational trip to Burning Man. Each and every one of which provided an insight, a tool, or a doorway for me to see into.
WALK. THROUGH. THE. DOOR. Don’t just stand there looking at the portal of opportunity any one of your practises has opened for you. Where the rubber meets the road, is where you choose to take action. It’s one thing to get an intense download about your relationship with your father after a particularly crazy Kundalini kriya, and a whole other ball game when you then send him an email laying out all the deets (yes, this also happened to me last year).
Don’t be shy. As in, don’t shy away from taking the necessary action. And if you’re having trouble working out what that is, it’s probably the thing you least want to do. But you know you have to. In fact, if it makes you cry just thinking about it, that’s probably it. Tears – of emotion, of compassion, of release – are often how you know the work is working.
Finally, you’d better embrace feeling a little bit weird, while all this is going on. Our brilliant Tarotscopestress Louise Androlia (aka Louniverse) is also a holistic life coach, and one of her favorite things is to remind her clients it’s actually normal to feel abnormal when your life is transforming, inside and out. So expect to doubt yourself, expect to feel vulnerable, expect to question your sanity sometimes – just don’t expect it to be a breeze, is what I think she means. After all, if it was meant to be easy, it wouldn’t get called The Work in the first place. But it’s worth it.
2014 has been a year of SELF-EXAMINATION, TRANSFORMATION and ADVENTURE! Here are 11 posts that made us laugh, gasp, cry…and take a good long look at our lives from the inside (listed in no particular order of awesomeness).
When Alexandra Roxo decided to embark on a hardcore nine-day Ayurvedic cleanse, she had no idea her girlfriend would decide to come along for the ride. Cue tears, tantrums and an ocean of emotion.
Ellie Burrows is pretty sure she’s discovered the secret to online dating. And it’s Tantra. Not super-connected, total body orgasm, tantric sex – rather the energetic concept that makes that kind of sex possible: a balance of the masculine and feminine energies.
Feel so much more powerful knowing he’s on my side…
Dealing with a situation that had left her feeling vulnerable and alone, when Ruby Warrington met her spirit power animal last year…it got emotional. Here’s how to connect with your own beast of the wild unknown.
Yay, you’re going on a yoga retreat! You want to get the most out of your experience, right? Who better than Heather Lilleston and Kumi Sawyers fromYoga For Bad People to lay down some summer retreat etiquette. We’re talking less freaking out, more more F.U.N.
Guru Jagat shot in Venice Beach by Lisandra Valazquez
Guru Jagat is the outspoken face behind the Ra Ma Institute, the only all kundalini yoga studio in California’s Venice Beach. She talks to Madeline Giles about her vision for the Age of Aquarius, life on the 33rd parallel and outsmarting the Global Elite. Conspiracy theories or conscious debate?
Right after a powerful New Moon in multi-faceted Gemini, gifting us an opportunity to embrace the quicksilver side of ourselves, Nadia Noirgives an insight into a life spent searching for “the other me.”
Connfession: My Burning Man Experience was too full-on to be called fun, says Ruby Warrington. But when it comes to life lessons, a week on the Playa delivered pure gold.
Lessons in Kabbalah with Madonna and a “little spiritual trip to Hawaii.” Brooke Candy tells Ruby Warrington how following a more “soulful” path has been a lesson in self-love…
Empowering women’s movement, or de facto sex cult? Dani Katz gets intimate with the practise known as Orgasmic Meditation…
“I hate LA, and I hate my life,” I sputter in a flurry of tears, snot and spaz-out, as I drop my purse on the floor of Jamie’s kitchen, and freak way out.
“And my favorite pants are ruined,” I whine, gesturing to the stains dotting the hem, remnants from this morning’s explosion of glass and green at Moon Juice, where my Kundalini teacher dropped an eleven-dollar bottle of algae on my Birkenstock while lamenting the torment of her beloved’s non-monogamous tendencies. “…and everything would be easier if I were dead.”
“And how late is your period?” Jamie smiles, perpetually unfazed by my dark, melodramatic tendencies.
Why I can’t seem to remember that my every twenty-eight day despondency/bad hair day combo is related to the onset of my moon remains one of the more confounding mysteries of being woman. Well, that and our tendency to totally abandon ourselves for the crumbs of affection half-heartedly proffered by the man-children who don’t deserve us.
I reach for my iPhone, and pull up my Period Tracker app.
Period is 1 Day Late.
“I had a feeling,” Jamie nods. “Let’s get you stoned; let’s get you fed; and, let’s get your pussy rubbed.”
While this last zinger might seem wildly inappropriate coming from anyone else, Jamie is a One Taste devotee, an adept in the cult of orgasm, and – as such – her answer to pretty much everything is: Get your clit rubbed.
For those not yet hip to the casual stroking craze that equates orgasm with meditation, and mindfulness with turn-on, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice focused on female orgasm. It involves two humans, at least one vagina, a timer, a dash of lube, a tightly held container comprised of a very specific configuration of pillows and limbs, and a very (very) precise stroke – a gentle, vertical petting atop the surface of the upper left quadrant of the clitoris with the tip of the left pointer finger, for fifteen minutes.
“Okay,” I sniff, wiping an errant strand of hair from my face. “Can we make that happen?”
“Pfft,” Jamie snorts. “Duh.”
I should probably mention that all three of Jamie’s roommates also OM. Like, religiously, and even then, fanatically, as in several times a day. It’s but a symptom of the One Taste organization’s culty-er aspects – outcroppings of community houses packed tight with pussies keen to be rubbed, and fingers eager to rub ‘em.
“Hey, Dani,” says Jamie’s roommate, Josh, walking into the kitchen all of two seconds later.
“Hey, Josh.”
While Josh and I exchange greetings, Jamie – not one for subtleties – mimes a diddling motion with one pointer finger, while directing the other one my way. She’s a Capricorn; she makes shit happen.
“Wanna OM?” Josh blurts.
For those not living in houses populated exclusively by Orgasmic Meditators, most folks go about finding vaginas to rub, and fingers to rub ‘em on the OM Hub, a private online network available to those who qualify (i.e. throw down the cash for the online course, pass a quiz, and then throw down more for network access; oh, and who aren’t registered sex offenders).
“Anyone near Mar Vista wanna come stroke my pussy today between 3 and 5:30?” reads a sample posting.
The community operates on an any finger/any pussy/anytime philosophy, and the extent to which the randomness of the OM hook-up icks me out has proven prohibitive in my developing any regularity around the practice. To this end, I barely even qualify as a practitioner. Dabbler is probably even pushing it.
“Oh, hi honey,” Jamie said, meeting me at the top of the stairs back when she was first inculcated into the Grand Order of Holy Diddlers. “I’m just gonna squeeze in a quick OM, and then we’ll go.”
I took a seat on the futon in the loft, and texted our friends to let them know we were going to be late for dinner. It wasn’t long before the telltale sounds of turn-on started seeping forth from the backside of Jamie’s bedroom door.
Ew, I thought, scrambling to untangle the earbuds I couldn’t get out of my purse and into my ears fast enough.
It’s not that I’m prude, or shy, or at all delicate when it comes to erotic expression. Still, I just don’t really want to know what my friend sounds like when she’s getting off, much the same way I’m not interested in smelling her used tampons. TMI – way (way) TMI.
Minutes later, a man wearing glasses and a Pokemon t-shirt came strutting out of Jamie’s bedroom. “You next?” he asked, waggling a finger my way – a finger I could only guess was coated in vagina slime.
“Ew,” I snorted, thoroughly put off by the creamy digit aimed in my direction, but moreso the assumption that my holy vag was this random guy’s for the stroking.
When it comes to touching my vagina, the list of those who qualify for the privilege is short, and contained – lovers, gynecologists, the occasional nurse practitioner, and the Russian lady who waxes my bikini line. Hired tenders aside, it’s a highly restricted area, reserved for those I deem special/worthy enough to handle both the sacred wonderfulness that is my labia, as well as my heart, because – like so many people in our culture and maybe on the planet in general, I am programmed to believe that the regions are inextricably bound. As such, unless I’m in a relationship, my pussy doesn’t get much play.
Thus is the beauty of the OM – once she who is grossed out by the culture figures out how to meander her way around its ickier aspects. Hanging out at Jamie’s, as I’m now realizing, is a fantastic method to this end.
“Yes, please,” I say.
“When?” asks Josh.
“Now.”
And so it is that I’m dropping chlorella-stained trou in Josh’s room, while he places a washcloth in the center of “The Nest” – which is really just a yoga mat surrounded by half-moon meditation cushions strategically placed for my head, my thighs and his ass, but which will be honored as holy, and thus entered with the implicit understanding that while so cradled, there will be no canoodling, and no reciprocity. Just pussy-stroking. For fifteen minutes, no more, no less.
“Are you comfortable?” Josh asks, pulling my leg over his thigh, and arranging his foot so that it’s flat against mine.
I catch myself before asking How are we defining our terms? Because, while sure, I’m enjoying a semblance of ergonomic ease, I am also naked from the waist down, lying with my legs splayed to reveal my six days un-groomed pussy as a relative stranger dangles his arm over my thigh. Which – while fine – has me feeling more than a little vulnerable. Plus, there is the matter of warm-blooded man hands touching my inner thigh, of palm against flesh, and – um – the novelty of the connection and the alchemy on this unique, raw and dense plane of purely physical exchange. Which is all to say, comfortable isn’t the first descriptive that comes to mind.
“Uh-huh,” I chirp, because now is not the time for heady unravelings of my mental state, and because Jamie got me stoned while Josh arranged the pillows, and I’m just blitzed enough not to give a shit what he thinks of my spread eagled lady bits.
“Okay, I’m going to ground you, now,” Josh says, mashing his palms along the surface of my thighs.
It’s standard, The Grounding, as is the practice of announcing whatever touch is about to happen. It lends a sterile, business-like vibe to the exchange, which I happen to appreciate. As impersonal as we can keep our interaction, the better, I say. Josh is not my lover. Josh isn’t even a friend. Josh is the guy attached to the hands that are right now mashing my thighs, and my pelvis, and is getting ready to—
Oh fuck, I think, just now remembering the sequence of events, because it’s been a while.
The Noticing.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I think, suddenly observing mild sensations of panic. Please don’t do The Noticing.
It’s my least favorite part of the practice, The Noticing, wherein the stroker ogles the vag in front of him and then shares his visual observation. Out loud.
“I’m noticing that you have one pubic hair that’s really straight, and poking straight up towards the ceiling,” a stroker once told me, as I wished a hole would open up in the ground beneath me, and swallow me at once.
“The outside of your lips are, like, a really dark pink, almost like cranberry juice,” noticed another, as my cheeks turned a similar shade, and I stared at the ceiling and wondered why any and all references to my vaginal “lips” creep me out so hard.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I psychically beg/command.
That Josh actually skips The Noticing is as much a testament to the anti-Noticing trend Jamie will later tell me is sweeping the community at large as it is to my psychic authority. No matter. Noticing isn’t happening. I’m golden, I think, grateful to have escaped the humiliation of Josh’s take on the whitehead lodged inside my inner thigh crease, as he starts the timer on his smartphone, snaps on a pair of latex gloves, and goes about sliding a hand underneath my ass.
“I’m going to touch your introitus now.”
Safeporting, they call it, the resting of the stroker’s thumb against the vaginal opening. I guess it’s supposed to help the strokee to feel held, to quell any lurking fears of floating up and toward the ceiling, of slipping through the cracks of an air vent and being forever lodged in the crawlspace with no pants on. Jamie has developed this annoying habit of rolling the term into her everyday lingo to reference any sort of safeguarding.
Like the time we were invited to our friends’ house for dinner, after a particularly awkward series of texts and naked hot tub gropings, and she said: “I know Michael and Katrina keep trying to fuck you, but don’t worry. I’ll be right there, safeporting you the whole time.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but, the languaging? Um…ew.
“I’m going to touch your pussy, now,” Josh announces as his lube-globby finger makes contact with my clit.
They’re big on the P-word, these Orgasmic Meditators. On the one hand, it’s refreshing, especially given how many Tantra intensives I’ve attended wherein the words yoni and punani are tossed around like so much New Age-appropriated Far Easterly exotica.
Still, if one more soft-eyed dude wearing three-day beard scruff and a rudrakshra mala wrapped around his sacred geometry tattooed wrist greets me by mashing his hands together at his curiously hairless heart chakra, bending at the waist, and purring Namaste, I might have a stroke. To this end, I’m all for the P-word. And yet, I find something slightly confrontational about its ubiquity, as if those who OM are wielding the word in the hopes of inspiring discomfort, verily daring those within earshot to take issue with their languaging, and their lifestyle.
“Okay,” I sigh, narrowing my focus of attention to the point of contact between Josh’s finger and my clit, while expanding my awareness around all the sensation said contact is generating.
“Why can’t you just do it yourself?” my mother prods when I meet her at Pilates a week later, wanting to not be disturbed by this, yet another comfort zone-challenging ritual in which her daughter is dabbling, and yet still not getting it.
It’s not that I can’t; it’s that I don’t. I tend to forget that a) I have a bundle of nerves in my vagina that tingle when stimulated; and b) I can stimulate them whenever I want to. I’m a heady gal – “an upper chakra creator” as Trish, my go-to psychic, likes to say. More often than not, I forget I even have a body, let alone that caressing it is an option. But, even if I chose to remember, OMing and masturbating are not the same thing.
“Ooohh…” Josh groans, clearly navigating a surge of arousal as the tip of his finger waggles up and down and up and down and up and down along the top of my clit.
OMing is an exchange – of trust and vulnerability, and of grunts and desire, but mostly of the electro-chemical polarities that attract masculine and feminine.
“I felt this electrical jolt – like a lightning bolt – shooting out of your clit and into my finger, where it traveled up my arm, across my chest, into my heart, down into my cock, and out my other arm, like a circuit, and then it just kept circulating for the rest of the OM,” said Lance, a guy who once stroked me while I was crashing at Jamie’s, and we were Sharing Frames after the stroking part, which isn’t quite as cringey as The Noticing, but is sort of in the ballpark.
The point is that something larger, magnetic and infinitely more mysterious happens when fingertip strokes clit in this specific way and inside of this container – something that doesn’t happen when I’m jerking myself off.
It’s the electro-chemical exchange that inspired me to try Orgasmic Meditation in the first place, back when I was cozy in a monogamous love thang, and my partner and I read Slow Sex together at a Colorado hot spring, and thus grooved on Nicole Daedone’s whole down with stimulation, up with sensitivity/awareness philosophy, and took to a daily OM practice.
“Achoo!” sneezed then boyfriend.
“Wow!” I said, shivering, because I felt his sneeze in my own body as palpably as if it were my own.
I liken it to Vipassana meditation, wherein the prolonged practice of scanning the body for sensation strips away the walls and shadows that obscure our hearts and our light and our genius. The practice of OMing strips away the walls and the density that obscure not only our connection to our own feeling nature, but to the shared feeling nature that conscious sexual exchange inspires when we know how to work with it.
“Ooh,” boyfriend said, when he hit a particularly sweet spot with his tongue during a post-OM canoodle. “I felt that one in my toes.”
“Do…more…that…” I instructed, palming his skull, trying to catch my breath, “…hnnnh!…”
But, it’s not just instances of Freaky Friday-like feeling-sharing that differentiates OMing from diddling myself. Orgasmic Meditation isn’t goal-oriented – there is no race toward climax. In fact, it’s not even a destination. Sure, it happens; I hear. I’ve yet to climax during an OM, and I have all of zero interest in doing so, and not just because I think it would be thoroughly embarrassing.
The magic is at the edge, which is where all magic lies, and – for me – OMing is the perfect set-up to play with that edge, to redirect the energy that threatens to undo me in a fit of trembles, spasms, shrieks and sensation, and to instead redirect it up my spine and into my head, where it dances between my third eye and my crown, and animates my entire body with a thousand and one lightning bolts exploding behind my eyelids and across my every meridian in fractalized bursts of psychedelia.
“UNNHHH!!” Josh sucks in his breath at the very same moment a jolt of electricity explodes in my upper cervical spine, and then mutters a thoroughly floored: “Whoah.”
“And, what’s in it for the guy?” Mom presses.
I can’t really say, not being a guy or having ever stroked, but that doesn’t stop me from rolling my eyes, and snorting, and saying “Mom, I already explained this,” because even though I’m a grown woman, there’s something about sharing time/space with my mother that inspires adolescent histrionics. “It strips away the layers of calcified density, and renders them more sensitive and available to experience their own sensation through less and less stimulation.”
Also, a lot of the guys in the community are spazzy dweebs who, if it weren’t for One Taste, wouldn’t likely see much pussy, let alone get to touch any, unless they were paying for it.
“Two minutes,” Josh says, alerting me to the impending close of our session with a pronounced shift in his touch – Downstroking, they call it, which is totally applicable when spread eagle and doused in coconut lube in The Nest, but kind of annoying when chatting with my friend over kale smoothies.
“You probably want to downstroke her before telling her you don’t want to work with her anymore,” Jamie advises.
I roll my eyes and vomit just the tiniest bit in the back of my throat, not because it’s not good advice, but because I’m still having a hard time getting used to my friend’s tendency to talk like a cult initiate.
“Time,” Josh says with a massive exhale, removing his hand from very, very tingly pussy, despite my clit’s silent pulsing pleas for him to come back, to stay awhile, to keep doing that thing he was doing with his finger for – like, I dunno…ever?
I exhale as Josh grounds me back into my body, and into the room, again mashing his hands atop my only slightly trembling thighs. He helps me up to a sitting position where I drape the now damp washcloth over my lady bits, and avail myself to the grand finale – the Sharing of Frames.
“There was this moment, when I saw, like, a drop of – um…well, your juices on the edge of your pussy, and – uh, well – when I did, I felt a lot of sensation in my cock.”
I think the point is to get us in the practice of communicating our turn on, and our feeling experience. It’s gotten easier, the Frame-Sharing, minus the moments when I realize, mid-OM, that I’m going to have to do it, and then I retreat to my head, scanning the practice for something noteworthy to speak to. That, and the fact that I don’t love talking to strangers about my turn-on, but – whatever – I’m a grown-up; I can deal.
“There was a moment when you pulled back on the pressure, and I found myself wanting to chase it, but instead chose to inhale into my clit, and found the connection I was craving through my own breath.”
“Awesome.”
“Rad.”
“Thanks.”
And with that, we are complete.
It’s actually my favorite part of the whole experience, the leaving, the absence of lingering eye locks, of nervous heart flutters, of carefully couched farewells that may or may not allude to a deepening intimacy, and to future dalliances that so often never come to pass. I love the none of that. It’s honest. It’s clean. We have accomplished the business at hand – the touching of my pussy – and now that we are finished, I will be on my (way merrier) way.
Back in Jamie’s kitchen, dinner is ready – kale salad with pumpkin seeds and tons of nutritional yeast.
“How was that?” Jamie asks, knowing smile hijacking her perpetually radiant face.
“Best. Friend. Ever.” I gush, proffering the world’s most grateful hug, feeling infinitely less suicidal and – dare I say – pretty darned good.
Dani Katz is the creator of the I Am Calendar 2015, a total astro/affirmation/badass birthday fest of all ’round awesomeness. You can find out more about her work here.
Total lifestyle envy alert! Just wait until you read about Rochelle Schieck’s Mystical World…PLUS shamans and Liquid Sunshine in the round-up of Ruby’s Mystical Week.
Almost everyone I’ve spoken to this week has been experiencing the change of seasons like a wall of water to be waded through, or a heavy cloak of fog obscuring all hope and light – myself included. Hibernation season incoming! As a spring baby, I always find this downshift into darkness pretty hard to handle, which can only mean one thing – time to ramp up the self care and dive into my spiritual practise…
It’s also the week I’ve been sunshine dreaming about a January trip to Costa Rica :: drinking Liquid Sunshine from the Montauk Juice Factory :: talking chakras and conspiracy theories with my shaman, Manex Ibar (yes I have a shaman now, full report coming soon) :: mixing Meditation & Margarita’s at Danielle Mercurio’s mystical monthly NYC meet-up :: interviewing the gorgeous Felicity Jones, star of Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything :: and thanking the all-seeing creator for my new Isabel Marant Etoile flight jacket (seriously, TF for Isabel Marant)
So I first met this week’s Material Girl on the Astro Twins’ Become Your Own Astrologer retreat in Tulum last year. As creator of sensual movement class Qoya, it was Rochelle’s job to get us out of out astro-addicted minds and back into our bodies – which loosely translates as: “host an awesome dance party every night.”
I’ve since come to realize (main via her brilliant Facebook posts) that this is pretty much what Rochelle’s life looks like. Based mainly in Venice, CA, she seems to spend most of her time tripping from retreat to delicious retreat, all in the name of spreading the girl-empowering message that: “our essence is wise, wild and free.”
Rochelle Schieck, we want your life! Here’s what makes her Mystical World go ’round…
:: MATERIAL GIRL ::
My Look I led a Qoya workshop in Woodstock, NY last weekend, and as I was walking through the forest, smelling the fresh air and seeing all the leaves changing colors and gracefully falling to the ground, I felt a thrill noticing the temperature had dropped low enough to pull out my favorite piece of clothing – my Pendelton poncho! I wear it religiously as if my soul is expressed through its fabric and design, which honors all of our indigenous roots. I wear the poncho with black leggings and heels to dress it up, or, to keep the shaman chic vibe going, with my Minnetonka Moccasin booties.
My Fragrance I live in Venice, CA, most of the time, but after my time in Woodstock last week I went to stay with a friend in NYC. She laughed, commenting that whenever I come to visit, my scent of rose and sandalwood fills up the whole apartment. It’s Amma Rose Oil and it is intoxicating. I like to put it on my wrists and neck, but since I’m 5’2, I also put a small amount on the top of my head as a gift to all those I hug that day.
My Pampering I couldn’t go to NYC without making a pilgrimage to Spa Castle in Queens. Four floors. There’s a gold sauna, a salt sauna, a jade sauna, an infrared sauna…even an igloo!! The quintessential Korean spa treatment is to get a scrub and massage that feels on the verge of too aggressive, but leave you feeling like polished gold for the next 72 hours. Rumors are there is a new location opening in Midtown Manhattan in the fall!
My Jewels My best friend since college, Becca Kannapell, started Pound Jewelry with her mom and sister, and they make my favorite pieces on the planet. Right now I’m really into their pendulum pendants – which are completely gorgeous, and double as a divination tool. I even wrote a piece on how to swing a pendulum inspired by my love their jewelry!
My Food Whenever I’m in NYC I end up traveling around the city seeking different variations of a macrobiotic bowl that has rice, steamed kale and vegetables, seaweed and a large amount of Tahini sauce. My go-to’s this mission are Souen (for their Macro Bowl), Jivamuktea Cafe (Yogi’s choice) and Anjelica Kitchen (Dragon Bowl).
My Gift to Me I recently booked a Boudoir photo session with Lori Berkowitz, who specializes in capturing the beauty of a woman in her sensual essence. Sensual energy is life force energy. The stronger one is, the stronger the other. But this doesn’t have to be translated into the framework of sexual relationships with others – it can also mean reclaiming the physical sensation of the divine in your body, and honoring that sensation and the body itself as sacred, whole and holy.
:: MYSTICAL WORLD ::
My Morning Ritual On wakening, I immediately roll over into child’s pose to count on my fingers ten things I am grateful for. Then I slide into half pigeon and feel something I want to celebrate about my life on each leg before laying back into Vajrasana (hero’s pose) and imagining what I’d like to co-create with the divine today. Here’s a free video on YouTube I made for anyone to follow along Bed Yoga
My Sign I AM a Gemini. Gemini Sun. Gemini Moon. Gemini Venus. Gemini! Also Taurus rising, which explains my passion for the body and the sacred work I do in the world focusing on embodying the soul through a movement system I created called Qoya.
My Mantra In a sentence (and a hashtag): “#dancemakeseverythingbetter”
My Healer My favorite healing has always been collapsing or resting into the embrace of Mother Earth. Every jump in the ocean restores me. Every moment of relaxation while sitting next to a tree, softens my body into trusting the cycle of things. Every breath of fresh air in the mountains calms my thoughts and invites me to remember all I have to do is be here now. Every dance around a fire helps me feel the pulse of my own heartbeat and recognize it as the same heartbeat that dances through us all.
However, if my access to nature is limited, my team of healers includes several astrologers, body workers, shamans, intuitives and the occasional impulse call to Californiapsychics.com. I recently had my world rocked (again) by checking in on my favorite Shamanic Astrologer Sao. He is a passionate man put on this earth to assist with the awakening of the divine feminine and the way he gives a reading, it goes into the center of your soul. For daily inspiration, weekly and monthly horoscopes and yearly readings, I love to check in with the AstroTwins who help make everything make sense in the most intuitive and simultaneously scientific interpretation of my chart. And for chart readings assisted by akashic guides, I am grateful for Virginia Rosenberg and Heavenly Bodies.
My Reading With all the Gemini in me I read a lot, and many books at the same time. The novel that soul stirred me recently is Forty Rules of Loveby Elif Shafak, about the true story of Rumi and his soulmate happening concurrently to a modern day 40-year-old woman on her journey to learn the forty rules of love.
I also just finished an advance copy of my friend Betsy Blankenbaker’s first novel, Autobiography of an Orgasm. A nod to Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, it’s the most honest account I’ve ever read of a woman’s sexual journey, dealing with childhood abuse, confusion as a young woman, marriage, giving birth to four children, and then the unexpected turn of events that led to her turning fifty and exploring the connection between the sensual and sacred by researching her relationship to orgasm. It’s part erotica, part informational “how to” and completely compelling.
My Mission The intention behind Qoya, the movement system I created (or rather, is creating me), is to share the idea that through movement, we remember that our essence is wise, wild and free, and to follow the feeling of truth when we experience it in our body. Through my Qoya classes, workshops, retreats and teacher training, we remember that the body is a portal to those sacred moments that can rarely be explained, but must be felt and experienced. To the Numinous!
To find out more about Rochelle’s work and experience some Qoya for yourself, sign up for her free 10 Days to Love Qoya and receive a short video embodiment exercise.
Do you know how to work with your spirit guides? Ruby Warrington gets a lesson in life’s celestial helpers from spirit-guide-whisperer Rebecca Campbell…
Inviting them into your dreams is one way to work with your spirit guides…
It happens fairly often among my Numinous circles that somebody will casually drop into the conversation that they’ve been working with their “spirit guides.” At which point I’ll nod and be like, “that’s rad, dude” – because, conceptually, I’m totally down with the idea that there are benevolent Universal forces working on our behalf all the time, and that we get to choose how and when we interact with them. That’s called “creating your own reality,” right?
But then I meet Rebecca Campbell, an Aussie author, mystic, coach, and co-founder of The Spirited Project, who insists that our guides are actually more like real entities – angels, I guess – who are just kind of hanging out, polishing their wings, until we call them into action. Learn to work with them, and they can offer assistance in every area of life – in fact; “no request is too big or too small, too specific or too broad,” she says.
It’s a pretty out there idea, even for me. And I (obviously) embrace a LOT of out there ideas. But I LOVE the concept (I’m already picturing my guides like a kind of spiritual Spice Girls, with the dance routines and everything), and so I asked Rebecca for the full low down. Here’s what she had to say…
Your guides – kind of like a spiritual Spice Girls?
So does every individual on the planet have their own spirit guides? Yep, everyone has their very own team of spirit guides who are completely devoted to their growth. I like to think of them as a group of amazing cosmic beings who have our back no matter what. But because of free will, in order to receive their support, first we need to ask. Asking is super simple (like, you can do it right now).
For general guidance: “Hey spirit guides…I am open to receiving your loving guidance in all areas of my life. Thank you, and so it is.”
For more specific guidance: “Hey spirit guides…I am open to receiving your guidance surrounding (insert specific request here). Thank you for guiding and supporting me.”
The thing about spirit guides is that they’re always there – we just don’t notice them. When you’re devastated by a terrible break up, they’re there. When you’re looking for a spot to park your car, they’re there. If you’re trying to make a difficult decision, they’re there. They’re by your side right now. What do you want their help with right now? Go on, ask them right now!
Okay, but first I need to know how they actually do their work? Our spirit guides work with us through signs, people, nature, synchronistic events and our intuitive senses (inner seeing, inner knowing, inner hearing and inner feeling).
So the best way to start working with your spirit guides is to ask them for a sign. When I first started working with my guides I asked them to send me a light peach feather to prove to me that they were really there. Within half an hour I had received two peach feathers, which was pretty amazing – and what I needed to open my mind and heart up to noticing the support they could offer me. (nb: I tried this last night by asking for a blue crystal – nothing yet. I’ll keep you posted. Update: two hours later I was working out and found a mini crustal on the studio floor – but it was mauve. Close!)
The more you work with your spirit guides, the stronger the connection gets. It’s just like working out – you can’t expect to have a six-pack like J-Lo if you only do one sit up.
Okay, so is there one team of spirit guides working for us all, or are they individual for each person? Everyone has their own team of spirit guides, which are assigned just to them. We are born with spirit guides and also recruit them as we go about our life.
I find that most people have around six spirit guides in their “inner circle.” These are the guides who are completely unique to us. Some spirit guides have had lifetimes here on earth (often appearing as “people” e.g. an American Indian teacher, a Tibetan monk, an inspirational business leader etc.) – while others may just appear as beings of light.
I believe that our purpose on Earth is twofold: 1. Evolve as a soul (learning, growing and raising our vibration) 2. Be the light (light up the world by following what lights us up)
Our spirit guides are assigned to us to help us do both these things. The more we allow and receive their guidance and support, the easier our path becomes.
Accept their support, and move forward more smoothly on your journey
I like the idea of us being “assigned” out guides at birth – how does this happen? Your soul recruits your spirit guides based on your unique soul calling and the path you are here to walk. Your guides are perfectly suited to your highest calling, and waiting to guide you as much or as little as you wish. No matter what you’re facing, their presence means you always have the support around you to make it through.
I believe that we are born with one main guide (also known as a Guardian Angel) who stays with us throughout our lives – and by the age of 18-25 most people have recruited their spirit guide “posse.”
We can recruit more guides as needed though. For example, while writing my book Light Is The New Black I recruited two light beings and a new teacher guide to help me – in exactly the same way as I used to call on famous ad men to help me present my creative ideas in a way that would most resonate with the client when I worked in advertising.
What if I’m still having a hard time getting my head around the concept… What holds most people back from developing a relationship with their spirit guides is their need for hard core visual “proof” that they exist. For a long time, I was waiting for my spirit guides to ring my doorbell and chat to me over a bottle of vino (clearly that never happened).
I wanted to know their hair color, their favorite movies and where they grew up. But the moment I Iet go of any need for them to appear in a certain way and just opened myself up to the possibility and trusted, the more my relationship with my guides grew and the more evidence of their presence I received in other ways.
Everyone’s experience with their spirit guides is personal, and because they work in the subtle realms, it takes practice to sense them. We are all six sensory beings, but we need to work our intuitive muscles each day to strengthen our intuitive connection with them.
Most people experience their guides through their predominate intuitive sense: Clairvoyant (clear seeing), Clairaudient (clear hearing), Clairsentient (clear feeling) and Claircognizant (clear knowing).
Can you give us some tips to start working with them on a regular basis then?
1. Start asking them for guidance…right now 2. Thank them for guiding you – they love a bit of positive reinforcement! 3. Ask them to send you a sign (e.g. a feather, a butterfly, elephants…whatever you fancy) 4. Keep a little notebook by your bed, and jot down any experience you might have had with them and any signs you spotted throughout the day. The more your book fills up, the more you will notice their support 5. Before you go to sleep ask your spirit guides to come to you in your dreams. The moment you wake up, note down any experiences you may have had with them
“She’s behind you…” Your spirit guides have always got your back
I’m almost convinced – can you share any amazing experiences you’ve had working with your guides? These days I speak to my spirit guides every day – but my favorite story of working with my guides happened earlier this year, when I’d handed in my book proposal to Hay House (twice) but hadn’t heard anything.
One of my spirit guides is a woman (spirit) named Charlotte. Charlotte appears as a terribly English high society lady from the 1920’s who wears big dresses, hats and gloves. A gifted gossip, with her fingers in all the most influential pies, Charlotte is here to help me get my message out there and name spoken about in the right circles. Knowing that getting some publicity might increase my chances of being published, I called on Charlotte her for help and then surrendered it.
That same day I was connected with a journalist – and one week later she was commissioned to write a story, “Like a Prayer”, for the UK’s Sunday Times Style Mag (which also happened to feature the who’s who of Hay House authors, as well as The Numinous).Two weeks later, I got the phone call from Hay House offering me a deal!
When I went into Hay House to meet the team for the first time, the Publicity Officer mentioned that she’d seen the Sunday Times article and asked who my publicist was. Without thinking I responded “my spirit guide Charlotte!” Now, I’ve sat around a lot of boardroom tables in my life, but that was the first one that I was able to casually drop the name of one of my spirit guides and credit them for their work. I love it!
, and I’ve gotten into the habit of pulling a card each morning. And the strangest thing has been happening.
