Time for a really radical approach to self-love…The anonymous writer behind sex positive site Girly Juice shares her recipe for a New Moon sex magic ritual
Sex energy is powerful magic. It’s pure joy and ecstasy, particularly at the moment of orgasm. It taps you into your Source so easily, quickly, wholly, and pleasurably, it can make your head spin. Sex educator Annie Sprinkle calls this “medibation”: a synthesis between masturbation and meditation. Two of my favorite things!
Lately I’ve been doing masturbation-magic rituals in the hopes of manifesting my dream sexual relationship, so I focus on the wonderful feelings and visualize someone else being there with me – working, as always, to feel the feelings I want to feel with them in the now. But you can do this kind of ritual in the service of any desire, so long as you can stay focused on it and use it to get into the feelings associated with it.
Preparation I like to set the scene by lighting a scented candle, putting on some music that reflects the mood I’m trying to get into (for me, R&B slow-jam playlists on Spotify are a godsend), and cleaning up the space in which I’m going to get busy. If your intention is to meet a new partner, tidying up your bedroom and bed is a way of symbolically and literally making space for that person to enter your reality.
Wear whatever clothing makes you feel gorgeous and in tune with your desired feeling(s). That may be nothing at all, or a silky vintage slip and high heels, or a pair of leather handcuffs and a rose quartz pendulum necklace, or even a boss-lady pantsuit…So long as you feel fantastic in it (and can comfortably masturbate in it!), it’s fair game.
Crystals I was fascinated when I heard several months ago about rose quartz dildos, a brief trend in the world of sex toys. Rose quartz is, after all, the crystal of love (including self-love), so it makes perfect sense to use it in this sort of ritual!
You can find rose quartz in various different shapes and sizes, including dildo-esque massage wands, but I have a heart-shaped piece so that’s what I use. The smoothness of a tumbled stone makes it ideal for sliding over your lips, nipples, labia, anywhere that’s craving attention. Visualize the stone spreading love energy to every area it touches.
If you’re comfortable inserting the crystal vaginally and keeping it there for the duration of the ritual, you can do that too. It’s powerful to feel love energy radiating out from literally inside you. But be careful: while it can’t get “lost” inside your vagina, you might have trouble removing the crystal later if you insert it too deeply. (And please, never put a crystal in your butt!)
Other crystals can also work beautifully. Red ones, like garnet and ruby, may increase the flow of sexual energy and pleasure in and around your root chakra. Just make sure to research any crystal before inserting it into your body – some crystals dissolve in moisture. If you’re not sure, put a condom on it. And, obviously, avoid putting anything rough or sharp in a sensitive area. Smooth stones only!
Other tools and toys In addition to any crystals you have on hand, you should use any tools or toys you normally like to use. Keeping it simple, with just your hands, may feel the most organic and connective, but there’s nothing wrong with using vibrators or other toys to help the process along – we live in the modern age, after all, and we should take advantage of that fact! I’d recommend avoiding any really loud vibrators, though, because the noise can be distracting when you’re trying to focus on a feeling or an image.
Visualization While you pleasure yourself, visualize what you’re trying to manifest. Give yourself over to that visualization fully, so that the feelings of it wash over you. It can be helpful to say affirmations out loud, stated as if you had already achieved what you’re trying to manifest. For example, in my rituals for manifesting my ideal sexual partner, I might say things like; “This is the best sex I’ve ever had!” or “You’re very good at that!” It can feel a little silly, but any self-consciousness usually melts away once I fully surrender to the fantasy and the pleasure.
Timing Take your time; don’t rush. “Edging” (repeatedly approaching orgasm but then backing off before the actual climax) can help build arousal levels and sexual energy so that the peak will be a bigger explosion. At the eventual moment of orgasm, whenever it finally happens, hold the desired image in your mind and maybe speak a word or phrase that encapsulates what you want – if you’re coherent enough to manage it!
When you’re done, take a few minutes to catch your breath and bask in the feeling you’ve created for yourself. This is also a lovely time for deep, meditative breathing, because all the delicious neurotransmitters traveling around your body will be making you feel extra calm.
Do you ever use your orgasms as a tool for magic-making and manifesting? I want to hear all about it!
In preparation for Wednesday’s second consecutive New Moon in the sign of the water carrier, Ash Baker shares a settling yoga sequence for Aquarius…Image: Nomads by John Lisle via Behance.net
Aquarius: The water carrier
January 20 to February 19
Ruler: Uranus Element: Air Modality: Fixed Anatomy: Nervous system, ankles, Achilles heel, calves and shins. 11th sign of the Zodiac
Ground control to Major Tom! We are about to experience the second consecutive New Moon in the sign of straight up energetic pulses, innovation, and intellectual connectivity. Represented by the symbol of the water carrier, now comes one final dose of this futuristic energy before the Sun enters dreamy Pisces.
The three poses below are designed to help you ground the Aquarian vibes, and settle into yourself a little deeper as you maybe take the cues from the past month to adopt a new angle or approach to whatever you are experiencing in life.
:: Eagle Pose / Garudasana :: Come to stand at the top of your mat. Take a bend in your knees and cross your right leg over your left. If you have the flexibility, wrap your right foot around the back of your left calf. Make sure to squeeze the inner thighs together so there is no space between your upper legs. Now open your arms out to the sides like wings. Take the left arm over the right, crossing at the elbow. Bring your forearms to touch and if your shoulders are open enough you can wrap even further and place the right palm up against the left palm. Draw your elbows up so they can be directly in front of your shoulders. As you inhale, lengthen up through your spine. With each exhale, sink down a little further. Hold this pose for five rounds of breath, and then switch sides.
:: Wide-legged standing forward bend / Prasarita Padottanasana :: Take a wide-legged stance on your mat with your feet parallel to one another. Reach your arms out like wings as a measurement. Your wrists should be directly above your ankles. Now take your hands to your hips. Make sure you are pressing the inner and outer edges of your feet into the floor. Take a deep inhale and as you exhale begin hinging at your hip creases to fold forward. Take your hands to the floor, or, for a shoulder stretch, grab your ankles. Let your neck and spine relax and lengthen while your legs do the work. Stay here for five rounds of breath. Take your time coming back to a standing position and move your torso upward on an exhale to help eliminate possible light-headedness.
:: Hero’s Pose / Virasana :: Come down to your knees and bring them in to touch. Take enough space between the feet that you can sit your hips down on the floor between them. If that hurts your knees/hips, take a block or stack of blankets under your seat. Let the big toe sides of your feet turn in towards each other slightly and press the tops of the feet down into the floor. Make sure there is about a one-inch space between the inner arches of your feet and your outer hips. Rest your hands comfortably on your thighs and lift your spine. Let your chest open with wide collarbones. Breathe here for up to one minute.
:: Meditation for Clarity:: Come to sit on a folded blanket up against a wall for spinal support. Cross your legs at the ankles or if that hurts, stretch them out in front of you. Rest your hands, either palms down for grounding or palms up for receiving, on your thighs. Close your eyes and begin gently breathing through your nose. Just notice all the different sensations, electric currents, and rhythms in your mind and body. Without trying to change anything, just witness yourself. Stay with your breathing and see if you can create a calming sync between the sensations of your own internal circuits. Stay open to anything that comes up in your mind or body and try to create a harmonious resonance. Establishing this type of self-awareness can be a powerful tool when you are stressed. The more you practice this meditation the better you will notice body/mind stress sensations, and will be better equipped to direct your breath accordingly. It’s your very own auto-correct, allowing you to change course with greater and greater ease.
Monthly Mantra: I am the heroine/hero of my own journey.
Love chocolate? Well chocolate loves YOU! We discover how in ceremonial doses, raw cacao is a powerful heart opener that paves the way to transformation through self-love…
Heart Beats Raw Cacao and Dance Ceremonies founder Guinevere Short
A while back, we had an intern working at The Numinous who celebrated turning 21 at a raw cacao ceremony. “Most of my friends would have been downing shots of tequila…but I was getting high on chocolate!” she joked. But it turns out raw, ceremonial grade cacao has been used for centuries to unlock euphoric states, release negative emotions, and connect to pure heart energy.
Chocolate + ecstatic healing and transformation. Seriously, is anybody NOT down for some of that?
Guinevere Short has been working with cacao in ceremony since she founded Heart Beats Raw Cacao and Dance Ceremonies in 2013. We got her to give us the lowdown on why chocolate is essentially a catalyst to radical self-love…
WHERE AND WHEN DID CACAO CEREMONIES ORIGINATE? It’s thought cacao was first used as a health elixir and ceremonial medicine as far back as 1900 BC by the ancestors of Central America, the Olmec people, before becoming a ritualistic medicine used by the Aztec and Mayan cultures. Signifying both life and fertility, it was ingested by Royalty in ceremonial God worship and in sacrificial ritual.
CACAO IS ASSOCIATED WITH UNIVERSAL LOVE – WHY IS THIS? IS THIS WHY WE GIFT CHOCOLATE TO OUR LOVERS? Due to certain active ingredients that help release ‘feel good’ emotions, cacao is considered a heart opener. Creating feelings of emotional intimacy and pleasure, it has long been considered a luxurious delicacy, especially with the addition of sugar and spices to suit modern palates. Without realizing, we still get to enjoy a small fraction of it’s potential when we eat cacao in a regular chocolate bar. And yes, this is why it has become associated with romantic gestures and pleasurable indulgence!
Guinevere with her shamanic drum photographed in Thailand, 2014
WHAT IS A CACAO CEREMONY, AND WHEN DO PEOPLE SEEK THIS MEDICINE OUT? A cacao ceremony is an opportunity to connect to yourself and open your heart. Because of cacao’s ability to increase your connection to your inner self and your heart chakra, it aids in any transformational shift you are working towards, whether you are looking to deepen your understanding of who you are, release old patterns and traumas, or move into a more self-confident space. Whatever your path, the intention is yours to set, and the cacao allows you to the insight and awareness to move towards that goal.
HOW DOES A CEREMONY GO – WHAT’S THE RUN OF PLAY? I have attended many different ceremonies, and they vary in their approach. I was introduced to cacao initially by my mentor, Daisy Kaye, who brings in a powerful five elements dance journey, and I have also worked with a shaman in Guatemala who honors the cacao with meditation and inner reflection. In the ceremonies that I hold space for, we begin by sitting in sacred circle, honoring the cacao spirit with shamanic prayer, and humbly asking for our intentions to be heard. We serve the cacao in liquid form, and drink together.
Depending on what’s being called for, I intuitively offer sound healing or meditation. We then enter into a sharing with each other, of what we want to let go of and what we are calling in, which creates an intention for our journey. This is a very safe and intimate space, and the people that attend always surprise themselves at how they are able to open up to strangers, especially when they start to realize they we are all a mirror for each other, all just human beings with the same fears and sufferings, the same hopes and dreams. We end with dance, during which the cacao activates within the body and the heart, allowing a truly transformative and ecstatic process to unfold.
HOW IS THE CACAO SOURCED AND PREPARED? WHAT IS A CEREMONIAL DOSE? I have used cacao from Bali, Equador and Mexico, but I discovered a ceremonial grade cacao sourced in Guatemala by a man now internationally known as the Cacao Shaman, who has been working with the medicine and connecting it to the Western world for many years. Keith and his Guatemalan compadre Tat Isaias (Tat meaning Shaman) work alongside the local indigenous community to provide the highest grade cacao possible, grown in the purest conditions and harvested and prepared with love. A ceremonial dose is around 1 – 2 oz of cacao, mixed with water into a drink. Traditionally cacao was served with chilli and honey, but I have sometimes combined it with other herbs or super foods to assist a particular journey.
WHAT IS THE IMMEDIATE PHYSIOLOGICAL EFFECT? One of the main active ingredients that we experience in our physiology during ceremony is Theobromine. Theo-broma literally translates as God-Food, and potentiates the release of dopamine, the ‘pleasure’ hormone. This, alongside phenethylamine, which is known to help relieve stress and depression and which is released in the body during emotional euphoria, create heightened sensation and empathy. Alongside these, the high amount of nutrients in the cacao support and nourish the body, whilst also inducing a detoxifying effect on the liver and kidneys.
AND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT? Due to the euphoria inducing ingredients, the emotional impact can be profound. Everything feels heightened within the physical and emotional body, including your awareness to your deepest sense of self and to your heart. The experience of love and empathy, particularly for yourself, can literally feel as if your heart is opening like a flower. With this, the body can become flooded with the many emotions stored in the heart, some of which can be painful. It is not always an easy experience, and I have seen many tears shed as people peel away old layers of hurt. But as the cacao facilitates a deep sense of self-love, tears are always followed by smiles of deep gratitude. In other moments, the sheer ecstasy felt from the cacao can be described as nothing other than a divine experience.
Shiny, happy people: Sophie Teakle of The Numinous following a cacao ceremony with Guinevere in Guatemala
WHY IS THIS SUCH A PERSONAL PASSION OF YOURS? Because I believe in love! In the heart. In opening wide to our potential to follow that heart and be guided into the most alive and joyous expression of our selves possible. Acting on the momentum this creates, people can transform their lives to be living in their highest potential, creating positive experiences for themselves and everyone around them. This for me is a story of evolution; the more that people connect to self-love and awareness of themselves and their behaviors, the more that they can make loving and conscious choices for the greater good of all.
My personal story is that cacao has been part of a journey to heal myself from a chronic illness that left me bed ridden for most of a year. I had lost any sense of who I was or why I was here. Cacao came into my life at a time of transformation, and revealed insights to me that I had waited years for. It was a big part of restoring me to feeling fully alive in myself, totally connected, and fully empowered. Now I am truly blessed to be able to share that medicine with others.
HOW HAVE YOU SEEN PEOPLE’S LIVES CHANGE AS A RESULT OF WORKING WITH CACAO? I am continually amazed by the transformational aspect of working with cacao, and there have been many emails and phone calls to tell me that since the cacao ceremony, ‘everything has changed’. I think cacao gives you the space to enter into a place of deep reflection and self communion. It allows you access to the subconscious to reveal and heal the deepest aspects of yourself. Especially when used in a ceremonial and intentional way, cacao gives you an opportunity to move towards the fullest expression of who you truly are…and this can be catalytic in removing barriers in all areas of your life; relationships, career, personal growth, creativity, or wherever your focus is. Ultimately, cacao can help deepen your connection to your heart, and expand your capacity to love and be loved. In a world where we’re realizing that everything is love, that’s a pretty potent medicine. And everyone deserves a taste.
Find out more about Guinevere Short and what is a cacao ceremony at Heartbeatscacao.com, and connect with her on Facebook.
You’d like to get to know the little spirit you’re bringing into the world before you meet them, right? Cate Emond shares some simple ways to communicate with your unborn child. Images: Aurélie Raidron via Behance.net
There have always been the obvious ways of connecting with our unborn children; see women talking, singing, or reading stories out loud to our baby bumps. And whatever stage of pregnancy you Numi mamas are in, there are so many things you can do to feel bonded and connected to the little soul you’ve created a home for.
When I found out I was pregnant I was excited, but despite this I also felt very disconnected from my body, and from the little life steadily growing inside me. I realized I was going to have to go deeper into myself and my spiritual practise if I wanted to start creating a bond. Below are a few of my favorite ways to create that connection, and communicate with your unborn child:
:: Prenatal Meditation :: Prenatal meditation is really no different from regular meditation, the only difference being that a) you, or your partner, are pregnant and b) you are specifically using this time to connect with a little spirit. It can be just as simple as taking 15-20 minutes of your day to sit quietly on your own in a relaxed setting with no distractions, to tune into the energy inside. But I prefer guided meditations because they help me to visualize the baby – especially this one, which that also incorporates some kundalini yoga, as well as this prenatal belly dance and meditation, whiCh has helped me feel more connected with my body.
:: Creative Journaling :: I’ve kept a journal since I was a child, and more recently I’ve realized it’s not just a place to record the events of your day or how you feel. You could use yours to write letters to your little girl or boy, write songs or poetry, or create collages and vision boards about your future life together – the possibilities are endless.
:: Intentional Dreaming :: Dreams are a great way to send and receive messages from spirit. Before going to sleep, either think of the message you want to send or receive from your baby or write it down and place the piece of paper under your pillow. Keep paper and a pen by your bedside and record whatever dreams or messages came back to you as soon as you wake up. If the messages or images seem unclear, meditate on them for a few days, focusing on the feelings they arouse in you. You can also try this handy dream interpretation method I learned years ago:
Write down the events of the dream in short simple sentences.
Next, go back and underline one word in each sentence that jumps out at you immediately.
On a new sheet of paper, using the underlined words retell the dream as a brand new story in the way that best makes sense to you (but don’t think too hard about it).
People are so unique, and though many symbols have common universal meanings, they can still represent different things to different people. The point of this exercise is to get an interpretation that’s specific to you.
Early in my pregnancy I had a few minor complications and I was worried about losing the baby, so one night I asked for a message before going to sleep. The dream I had was about killer bees taking over my city, and I saw images of myself hovering over a little baby boy, protecting him. The next image I had was of a mailbox securely posted to a tree. I like to think that was a clever way of my baby letting me know he was safely waiting to be delivered, and that I was capable of providing a safe and protective environment. Much of my anxiety faded away after that dream.
:: Connecting with a Birth Intuitive :: Because I was feeling so disconnected from myself, and my pregnancy, I decided to book a session with a woman who specifically helps expectant mamas and couples communicate directly with what she calls their ‘spirit babies.’ This might be a great place to start with if you need a little bit of an outside boost to help get you in the spirit of connecting with your little spirit.
While preparing for my session with Colette, I had fun dreaming up questions such as “are you okay in there” (is my anxiety that obvious?), “how can I love you best?” and “what aspirations do you have for this life?” No question is off limits, though she was quick to point out that it wasn’t about prediction, simply connecting. It was an interesting experience, and I would recommend it for the reasons mentioned above, as well as just for the fun of it.
:: Angel Cards :: You can use any type of oracle card, but personally I love the Messages From Your Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. The messages are comforting, clear and simple to understand. I tend to do single card draws because I like the focus of a single message, but there’s no right or wrong way to do it. If I have one I ask a specific question, but if not I just ask for a general message and then I shuffle and wait for the right card to pop out.
:: Self Care :: Okay, maybe not technically a way to bond with your baby, but it is one of the most important things to remember during pregnancy. We spend so much time worrying about how we’re going to care for this brand new life, that it can be easy to forget to care for ourselves, and if you’re neglecting your own needs you’re most likely going to feel miserable. Not the most conducive environment for feeling bonded to the little human inside of you.
One of my favorite takeaways from my session with Colette was the idea of “grand-mothering” ourselves. She asked me to: “remember how grandma loved you…how grandma paid attention to you and gave you advice and support [when you were young]. This is the kind of self-love that is recommended for pregnant women.”
So bake yourself some chocolate chip cookies, snuggle up with a blanket and a cup of tea, and journal, or meditate, or do whatever feels right to you in the moment. There’s no right or wrong ways to communicate with your baby, but he or she is most definitely listening.
How do you communicate with your unborn child? Pregnant or not! Share your stories with us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
You can read more from Cate Edmond on her blog, and connect with her on Twitter.
Facing down 2015, it’s time to move out from the transformational vibe of the past 12 months and put the new you into action. Ash Baker shares a simple yoga sequence for Capricorn that’s designed to create a solid foundation for all that lies ahead. Images: Karolina Daria Flora
Here comes the New Year! Glitter, gold and cheers!
This is always an exciting time because things feel raw, open, attainable, and fresh. The Queen/King of the mountain, the Cappy goat, looks down at all the terrain to be explored in the coming year with complete determination and resilience. Never fear though, this seabeast comes with the guarantee of seeking out solid ground so you can rest assured that harnessing this energy will be planted in reality. This sign doesn’t do whimsical, fleeting or cloud consciousness.
Use the cosmic energy now to get a head start on your biggest dreams, desires, goals and, of course, for facing your challenges. Take any downtime over the remaining holiday period to write a practical yet powerful action plan, and prepare your mind for gorgeous possibilities to open your heart in 2015! Capricorn rules the bones, the skeleton, the architecture that holds up our worldly suit. The below poses are designed to help cultivate a connection to your structure, as feeling strong is the key to conquering the year ahead!
:: Tree Pose // Vriksasana ::
Bend your right knee and draw it up towards your chest. Hold it in place for a moment. Take your foot and place it on either your inner ankle, calf or inner thigh. NEVER on the knee itself! Press your foot into your leg and your leg back into your foot to create stability. Externally rotate your right hip out and your right sit bone under. Keep a bend in the left knee. Bring your hands together at your heart or raise them up like branches above your head. Repeat on the other side. Hold for three-five rounds of breath.
:: Chair Pose // Utkatasana ::
From a standing position bend the knees and come down like you are going to sit in an imaginary chair. Keep the knees pressing together. The more you stick your butt out the easier it will be. Let the weight be in your heels. Bring your arms slightly behind you with only a slight bend at the elbow. Extend the shoulders down and back opening up the chest. Feel your collarbone expanding and your core heating up. Three rounds of breath. Repeat three times, with your goals in sight.
:: Downward Facing Dog ::
Come to hands and knees. Tuck your toes and root down through all ten fingers especially the thumbs. Bend your knees deeply bringing your belly to your knees. Feel the length and extension being created in your spine. Press your hips/sitting bones up towards the sky and ground your feet into the floor, at least energetically if the heels don’t reach. Your head will extend out between your arms and allow your shoulders to drop and widen down your back. Come back down and take Child’s Pose. Three rounds of breath.
:: 2015 New Year’s Meditation :: Letting go to let it in ::
Come into your deep, rhythmic breath while either sitting cross-legged or laying on your back. Imagine as you inhale and exhale a layer of yourself that is worn out and tired, peels away like the skin of an onion. Removing any previous frustrations, heartbreaks and disappointments from the past year. Allow yourself to shed the old skin to become new again, ready for what’s next on your path. Stay here for five-10 minutes visualizing this symbolic dry brushing of things you no longer need on this new journey ahead.
:: Monthly Mantra :: I am my own source of strength for not only myself but others around me. That way we are all lifted up.
“Doing the work”. It’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in holistic / alternative wellness circles – but what does it actually mean? Is it like the time I went for acupuncture and was given “homework” to do – little sticky packs of Mugwort, called “Moxa”, to affix to my liver meridian and set light to like incense each night? Fair enough, I had been drinking quite a lot to avoid dealing with a stressful work situation, but wasn’t the state of my liver my practitioner’s to deal with?
Apparently not. If I’ve come to understand anything about how real healing, both physical and metaphysical, works in the past year, it’s this: ultimate wellbeing – just like ultimate abundance, ultimate freedom, and, ultimately I guess, ultimate bliss – is a collaborative effort between myself, whichever practise I happen to be working with at the time, and the all-loving, all-knowing Universe itself.
Looking back over the past twelve months, I can honestly say I’ve had one of the best years of my life. And not because everything just “worked out”, or opportunities fell from the sky like globules of golden bird poop. But in terms of my personal evolution, I feel like I’ve busted through blocks (to borrow just a little self-help speak) I wasn’t even aware were holding me back. Well maybe I was aware…but there’s NO WAY I was going to admit it and deal – not in this lifetime at least.
But deciding to face my demons, be my own knight in shining armour and slay the freakin’ dragon once and for all, looking ahead to 2015 I feel simultaneously like I’ve aged a decade and like I’m ten years younger. And it has not been easy. There have been tears, and there has been anguish. There has been much meditating, much journaling, and much reading of books with “Conversations” and “God” in the title.
But above all, there has been a very conscious decision on my part to actually “do the work”.
When I used to hear that phrase, I’d think it was referring to some kind of mystical alchemy that went on inside the body if you did enough yoga, took enough gong baths, or had enough therapy. As if the divine oneness was watching on, and would do some divine laying on of hands to absolve all your issues once you’d reached a certain quota of zen / worthiness.
2014, which shall forever more be referred to as “the year that changed EVERYTHING”, showed me that it’s actually way more prosaic than that. You want to change something? Move forward in your personal development? Bring about the internal “shift” that’s gonna raise your vibration to attract all the abundance you just know is out there waiting for you into you life? Then babe, the buzzword here is action.
For example, it’s one thing to accept that perhaps your cash flow issues are more to do with your attitude to money than the fact accounts clerks get off on withholding checks owed to you – and a whole other deal to weep buckets in a Family Constellations Therapy session as you see how it’s actually intrinsically linked to your Grandmother dying young, and your own mother not really knowing how to give you love as a result.
But the real work? That happens when you then do the Landmark Forum, and realize you actually have to call your mom and tell her it’s never really been okay that she loved your brother more than you, because she’d basically learned how by the time he came along. And then you actually do call her, and there are buckets more tears, but you end the conversation by telling each other how you feel like mother and daughter for the first time you can remember.
Phew! That’s what I call work. And it’s also where the “mystical alchemy” part comes in, because you know what? I’m facing down 2015 in a better financial position than ever. “Money” equates to “mother” in Jungian therapy after all.
And if dealing with my lack mentality was what I decided I wanted to work on in 2014, once the floodgates had opened it turns out it was time to tackle all the other niggling issues I began to realize were all a part of the jigsaw puzzle. Those feelings of lack…well weren’t they also contributing to my inability to share (the load, my visions, my real feelings)? This was another Landmark revelation – the full story / trauma of which I’ll share (now I’m getting better at it) in a later post.
One of my favorite things of all has been learning to work with my intuition this year – you know, actually act on my gut feelings about things, even if this often means taking the scarier, hairier route. If I started to meditate because I thought it would help me get more clarity and focus, little did I know the work my practise was prepping me for was the ability to first notice my truth, and then go stand in it, no matter how many people it might piss off.
And by meditation, I don’t just mean the ten minutes I manage on a good morning. By bringing the practise of being able to step back from my thoughts to everything I do – a hard core workout, a complicated writing assignment, my super intense / difficult / transformational experience at Burning Man, and, yes, my relationship with my mother, has been some of the most important work of all.
I actually predict that “work” and “money” are going to be big themes for us all in the coming months. In numerology, 2015 is a universal “8” year (you add 2+1+5), which is the number of challenges, personal power, and hard-earned reward for your efforts. In other words, do the work this year and the compensation could be bigger than ever. So here’s how…
First up, you need to define what you want to work on. And I say, go big. No shying away from that “thing”, it’s time to drag the monkey off your back, look it right in the eye and declare: GAME ON. (Oh but clue – the real monkey might not be what you think. Like my money issues turned out to be mother issues, the fact you have a hard time holding onto a relationship is, undoubtedly, all about your DAD).
Now just start looking around for the “way in”. Besides the Family Constellations work and the Landmark (which is pretty hard core, FYI), last year I also tried acupuncture, breathwork meditation, had regular visits with a shaman, hit the mat at The Class with Taryn Toomey, and worshiped at the church of IntenSati. Not to mention that transformational trip to Burning Man. Each and every one of which provided an insight, a tool, or a doorway for me to see into.
WALK. THROUGH. THE. DOOR. Don’t just stand there looking at the portal of opportunity any one of your practises has opened for you. Where the rubber meets the road, is where you choose to take action. It’s one thing to get an intense download about your relationship with your father after a particularly crazy Kundalini kriya, and a whole other ball game when you then send him an email laying out all the deets (yes, this also happened to me last year).
Don’t be shy. As in, don’t shy away from taking the necessary action. And if you’re having trouble working out what that is, it’s probably the thing you least want to do. But you know you have to. In fact, if it makes you cry just thinking about it, that’s probably it. Tears – of emotion, of compassion, of release – are often how you know the work is working.
Finally, you’d better embrace feeling a little bit weird, while all this is going on. Our brilliant Tarotscopestress Louise Androlia (aka Louniverse) is also a holistic life coach, and one of her favorite things is to remind her clients it’s actually normal to feel abnormal when your life is transforming, inside and out. So expect to doubt yourself, expect to feel vulnerable, expect to question your sanity sometimes – just don’t expect it to be a breeze, is what I think she means. After all, if it was meant to be easy, it wouldn’t get called The Work in the first place. But it’s worth it.
When can drinking a cup of tea make you feel like you’re “melting into kaleidoscopic clouds”? When it’s part of a Living Tea ceremony, says Madeline Giles. Images: Lisandra Vazquez Photography
Setting the scene…
This time last year I enjoyed my tea bagged, bought from Whole Foods. I took jasmine green for breakfast, cacao yerba mate in the afternoon, and chamomile after dinner. If you asked me what I thought about tea then, I probably would’ve said: “It’s a cozy alternative to coffee. It tastes good. I like it. Yum!” And that would’ve been the end of that. Like most Westerners, I related to tea as just a beverage. A constant companion I told my life’s story to, but never considered listening to for a response. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know there was more!
Then I moved to California, and by the grace of the tea gods, shortly thereafter I experienced my first taste of Living Tea during a love potion consultation. In one simple sip, the Tea pulled me out of my overly contemplative mind and into my body, where I felt transported into that magically meditative place where everything and nothing is known at once. It was heaven and earth alchemized in one simple swallow, and, as dramatic as this might sound, I felt I would never be the same.
“Really good Teas – that I call Living Teas – are from Old Growth forests in the high mountains and valleys of Yunnan, China and Taiwan, where the trees are hundreds and sometimes thousands of years old,” explains Living Tea founder Colin Hudon. We’re seated in his quaint Santa Monica cottage enjoying bowls of Purple Tea, which smells like wildflowers and makes me feel like I’m melting into kaleidoscopic clouds.
The author enjoys a bowl of Purple Tea at a Living Tea ceremony
“If you think about a tree that’s 100 or 500 or 1,000 years old, it’s been gathering and concentrating a profound accumulation of chi – or energy –from the sun, the moon, the stars, the birdsong, the plants, and all the animals it’s encountered over that time. The roots of a Living Tea tree can grow up to 100 meters deep, so they’re pulling up trace minerals and phytonutrients that we don’t get in our regular diet – that most plants we consume don’t have. Then we process it in a certain way and bring it back to life with fire and water. It’s alchemy.”
Hudon began relating to Tea as a Tao when he synchronistically connected with a Taiwan-based Tea teacher during his travels through Asia in 2010. “I stayed for a whole month at [my teacher’s] home, which is also a center called The Tea Sage Hut. I was profoundly moved by my experience there – it really kicked off my whole deep immersion into Tea. Prior to that it was just a curiosity of mine, a hobby.” When Hudon returned to California, he began selling Tea, serving Tea ceremonies, and ultimately inspired a local tea community that’s been growing ever since. Here, he shares the wisdom of Living Tea…
WHAT MAKES LIVING TEA DIFFERENT FROM CONVENTIONAL TEA? The vast majority of Teas I carry are Old Growth, so they’re from hundreds to thousand-year-old trees in wild forests. Unfortunately, 99 percent of tea in the world today is industrialized plantation tea. These tea farmers deprive the soil of certain nutrients so the trees are forced to grow more leaves for sustenance. Then, they pick those trees eight to 12 times a year, sometimes more.
Really good Teas – what I call Living Teas – are only pruned once or twice a year, and sometimes even left for a couple years, to grow as wild trees in the forest. Also, drinking Living Teas and relating to them as medicinal botanical herbs is very different than sipping a cup of plantation tea from Starbucks, or even a bagged tea from Whole Foods.
With Living Tea founder Colin Hudon
CAN YOU SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT USING LIVING TEA AS A TOOL FOR MEDITATION? Oftentimes meditation is about shunning the sixth sense – the mind. In an attempt to turn inwards [various Eastern] traditions often refer to the five senses as distractions to that path. Yet ultimately, we exist in the world – and you still have to get up and pay bills and call your dad and you’ve got to walk the dog and do the dishes, you know? So the question is: How can we bring that degree of mindfulness, of presence, of awareness, of connection, of open-heartedness to the more humdrum, prosaic aspects of our lives?
Tea is one bridge from the inside to the outside, because if I can brew Tea and talk to you and have a daily practice of coming back to this awareness of my body, my being, and of my life through Tea, then I’m building up this energy of mindfulness. And the more you build it up, the more of it you have. Tea is just one of many tools, but it’s a very profound and powerful tool for this – especially if you come back to it every day. It’s also very accessible, whereas for many people, sitting in meditation and observing their breath – doing some form of meditation or yoga or whatever they do – can be very challenging.
WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN DEVELOPING A RELATIONSHIP WITH LIVING TEA? I tell people you can relate to Tea like a person. Every person we meet, we have an impression of them. Some are aggressive, some are loud, some are abrasive, some are gentle and soft and quiet and introspective and creative, and on and on and on. We meet people from so many backgrounds, and you can’t meet a person without also meeting their education, their enculturation, their upbringing, their family – and the place they came from, which is true of Tea, too.
A lot of times when we do these Tea meditations or Tea ceremonies, it’s about the senses initially, but as you drink tea, if you really pay attention, oftentimes images will start to arise and people can see the place from which the Tea came. We say when She or It or the Tea starts to communicate with you, then She or It becomes the teacher. Soon, how long you steep a Tea, how many leaves you use, what type of Tea ware is the most appropriate – all of that is something that the Tea communicates to you, It’s not something you can read in a book.
“Start with just a bowl and a couple leaves…”
HOW CAN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO A TEA COMMUNITY GET INVOLVED WITH TEA CEREMONY? When a person starts to open the door to Tea beyond it just being an everyday beverage, it can be overwhelming. People will go, “Do I need to buy all this Tea stuff and do I need to learn all these traditions?” But the essence of Tea as a Tao, as a way, is simplicity. When my teacher, Wu De, introduces people to Tea, he says start with just a bowl and a couple leaves. Four to eight leaves of a large leaf Tea – because if it’s too small, the pieces get stuck in your mouth.
All you need then is just a way to heat your water, a big leaf bowl, and the leaves. Step two is more about the methodology and aesthetics of Tea, whereas step one – bowl, leaves – is about letting all of that go. You can do that alone or invite friends over and explore. It’s not about conversation, it’s about experience.
WHEN I FIRST MET YOU AND TOLD YOU ABOUT MY INITIAL EXPERIENCES WITH THE TEA, YOU SAID, “YOU MUST HAVE GOOD TEA KARMA.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU? There’s a saying in our tradition that as the man seeks the man, so the leaf seeks the man. If a person has a profound respect and reverence for Tea as a path, if they create space in their life for it, then certain types of Tea will find their way into their lives. If a person relates to Tea the same way they relate to any beverage, then a different type of Tea will find their way into their lives – but that’s true of anything. In a sense, we get what we give.
To learn more about Tea as a Tao and tea ceremony, check out LivingTea.Net and Global Tea Hut. Numinous readers can also get a 10% discount on any purchases from Living Tea – just add the code “NUMINOUS TEA” at check out.
Madeline Giles with Living Tea founder Colin Hudon
Empowering women’s movement, or de facto sex cult? Dani Katz gets intimate with the practise known as Orgasmic Meditation…
“I hate LA, and I hate my life,” I sputter in a flurry of tears, snot and spaz-out, as I drop my purse on the floor of Jamie’s kitchen, and freak way out.
“And my favorite pants are ruined,” I whine, gesturing to the stains dotting the hem, remnants from this morning’s explosion of glass and green at Moon Juice, where my Kundalini teacher dropped an eleven-dollar bottle of algae on my Birkenstock while lamenting the torment of her beloved’s non-monogamous tendencies. “…and everything would be easier if I were dead.”
“And how late is your period?” Jamie smiles, perpetually unfazed by my dark, melodramatic tendencies.
Why I can’t seem to remember that my every twenty-eight day despondency/bad hair day combo is related to the onset of my moon remains one of the more confounding mysteries of being woman. Well, that and our tendency to totally abandon ourselves for the crumbs of affection half-heartedly proffered by the man-children who don’t deserve us.
I reach for my iPhone, and pull up my Period Tracker app.
Period is 1 Day Late.
“I had a feeling,” Jamie nods. “Let’s get you stoned; let’s get you fed; and, let’s get your pussy rubbed.”
While this last zinger might seem wildly inappropriate coming from anyone else, Jamie is a One Taste devotee, an adept in the cult of orgasm, and – as such – her answer to pretty much everything is: Get your clit rubbed.
For those not yet hip to the casual stroking craze that equates orgasm with meditation, and mindfulness with turn-on, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice focused on female orgasm. It involves two humans, at least one vagina, a timer, a dash of lube, a tightly held container comprised of a very specific configuration of pillows and limbs, and a very (very) precise stroke – a gentle, vertical petting atop the surface of the upper left quadrant of the clitoris with the tip of the left pointer finger, for fifteen minutes.
“Okay,” I sniff, wiping an errant strand of hair from my face. “Can we make that happen?”
“Pfft,” Jamie snorts. “Duh.”
I should probably mention that all three of Jamie’s roommates also OM. Like, religiously, and even then, fanatically, as in several times a day. It’s but a symptom of the One Taste organization’s culty-er aspects – outcroppings of community houses packed tight with pussies keen to be rubbed, and fingers eager to rub ‘em.
“Hey, Dani,” says Jamie’s roommate, Josh, walking into the kitchen all of two seconds later.
“Hey, Josh.”
While Josh and I exchange greetings, Jamie – not one for subtleties – mimes a diddling motion with one pointer finger, while directing the other one my way. She’s a Capricorn; she makes shit happen.
“Wanna OM?” Josh blurts.
For those not living in houses populated exclusively by Orgasmic Meditators, most folks go about finding vaginas to rub, and fingers to rub ‘em on the OM Hub, a private online network available to those who qualify (i.e. throw down the cash for the online course, pass a quiz, and then throw down more for network access; oh, and who aren’t registered sex offenders).
“Anyone near Mar Vista wanna come stroke my pussy today between 3 and 5:30?” reads a sample posting.
The community operates on an any finger/any pussy/anytime philosophy, and the extent to which the randomness of the OM hook-up icks me out has proven prohibitive in my developing any regularity around the practice. To this end, I barely even qualify as a practitioner. Dabbler is probably even pushing it.
“Oh, hi honey,” Jamie said, meeting me at the top of the stairs back when she was first inculcated into the Grand Order of Holy Diddlers. “I’m just gonna squeeze in a quick OM, and then we’ll go.”
I took a seat on the futon in the loft, and texted our friends to let them know we were going to be late for dinner. It wasn’t long before the telltale sounds of turn-on started seeping forth from the backside of Jamie’s bedroom door.
Ew, I thought, scrambling to untangle the earbuds I couldn’t get out of my purse and into my ears fast enough.
It’s not that I’m prude, or shy, or at all delicate when it comes to erotic expression. Still, I just don’t really want to know what my friend sounds like when she’s getting off, much the same way I’m not interested in smelling her used tampons. TMI – way (way) TMI.
Minutes later, a man wearing glasses and a Pokemon t-shirt came strutting out of Jamie’s bedroom. “You next?” he asked, waggling a finger my way – a finger I could only guess was coated in vagina slime.
“Ew,” I snorted, thoroughly put off by the creamy digit aimed in my direction, but moreso the assumption that my holy vag was this random guy’s for the stroking.
When it comes to touching my vagina, the list of those who qualify for the privilege is short, and contained – lovers, gynecologists, the occasional nurse practitioner, and the Russian lady who waxes my bikini line. Hired tenders aside, it’s a highly restricted area, reserved for those I deem special/worthy enough to handle both the sacred wonderfulness that is my labia, as well as my heart, because – like so many people in our culture and maybe on the planet in general, I am programmed to believe that the regions are inextricably bound. As such, unless I’m in a relationship, my pussy doesn’t get much play.
Thus is the beauty of the OM – once she who is grossed out by the culture figures out how to meander her way around its ickier aspects. Hanging out at Jamie’s, as I’m now realizing, is a fantastic method to this end.
“Yes, please,” I say.
“When?” asks Josh.
“Now.”
And so it is that I’m dropping chlorella-stained trou in Josh’s room, while he places a washcloth in the center of “The Nest” – which is really just a yoga mat surrounded by half-moon meditation cushions strategically placed for my head, my thighs and his ass, but which will be honored as holy, and thus entered with the implicit understanding that while so cradled, there will be no canoodling, and no reciprocity. Just pussy-stroking. For fifteen minutes, no more, no less.
“Are you comfortable?” Josh asks, pulling my leg over his thigh, and arranging his foot so that it’s flat against mine.
I catch myself before asking How are we defining our terms? Because, while sure, I’m enjoying a semblance of ergonomic ease, I am also naked from the waist down, lying with my legs splayed to reveal my six days un-groomed pussy as a relative stranger dangles his arm over my thigh. Which – while fine – has me feeling more than a little vulnerable. Plus, there is the matter of warm-blooded man hands touching my inner thigh, of palm against flesh, and – um – the novelty of the connection and the alchemy on this unique, raw and dense plane of purely physical exchange. Which is all to say, comfortable isn’t the first descriptive that comes to mind.
“Uh-huh,” I chirp, because now is not the time for heady unravelings of my mental state, and because Jamie got me stoned while Josh arranged the pillows, and I’m just blitzed enough not to give a shit what he thinks of my spread eagled lady bits.
“Okay, I’m going to ground you, now,” Josh says, mashing his palms along the surface of my thighs.
It’s standard, The Grounding, as is the practice of announcing whatever touch is about to happen. It lends a sterile, business-like vibe to the exchange, which I happen to appreciate. As impersonal as we can keep our interaction, the better, I say. Josh is not my lover. Josh isn’t even a friend. Josh is the guy attached to the hands that are right now mashing my thighs, and my pelvis, and is getting ready to—
Oh fuck, I think, just now remembering the sequence of events, because it’s been a while.
The Noticing.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I think, suddenly observing mild sensations of panic. Please don’t do The Noticing.
It’s my least favorite part of the practice, The Noticing, wherein the stroker ogles the vag in front of him and then shares his visual observation. Out loud.
“I’m noticing that you have one pubic hair that’s really straight, and poking straight up towards the ceiling,” a stroker once told me, as I wished a hole would open up in the ground beneath me, and swallow me at once.
“The outside of your lips are, like, a really dark pink, almost like cranberry juice,” noticed another, as my cheeks turned a similar shade, and I stared at the ceiling and wondered why any and all references to my vaginal “lips” creep me out so hard.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I psychically beg/command.
That Josh actually skips The Noticing is as much a testament to the anti-Noticing trend Jamie will later tell me is sweeping the community at large as it is to my psychic authority. No matter. Noticing isn’t happening. I’m golden, I think, grateful to have escaped the humiliation of Josh’s take on the whitehead lodged inside my inner thigh crease, as he starts the timer on his smartphone, snaps on a pair of latex gloves, and goes about sliding a hand underneath my ass.
“I’m going to touch your introitus now.”
Safeporting, they call it, the resting of the stroker’s thumb against the vaginal opening. I guess it’s supposed to help the strokee to feel held, to quell any lurking fears of floating up and toward the ceiling, of slipping through the cracks of an air vent and being forever lodged in the crawlspace with no pants on. Jamie has developed this annoying habit of rolling the term into her everyday lingo to reference any sort of safeguarding.
Like the time we were invited to our friends’ house for dinner, after a particularly awkward series of texts and naked hot tub gropings, and she said: “I know Michael and Katrina keep trying to fuck you, but don’t worry. I’ll be right there, safeporting you the whole time.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but, the languaging? Um…ew.
“I’m going to touch your pussy, now,” Josh announces as his lube-globby finger makes contact with my clit.
They’re big on the P-word, these Orgasmic Meditators. On the one hand, it’s refreshing, especially given how many Tantra intensives I’ve attended wherein the words yoni and punani are tossed around like so much New Age-appropriated Far Easterly exotica.
Still, if one more soft-eyed dude wearing three-day beard scruff and a rudrakshra mala wrapped around his sacred geometry tattooed wrist greets me by mashing his hands together at his curiously hairless heart chakra, bending at the waist, and purring Namaste, I might have a stroke. To this end, I’m all for the P-word. And yet, I find something slightly confrontational about its ubiquity, as if those who OM are wielding the word in the hopes of inspiring discomfort, verily daring those within earshot to take issue with their languaging, and their lifestyle.
“Okay,” I sigh, narrowing my focus of attention to the point of contact between Josh’s finger and my clit, while expanding my awareness around all the sensation said contact is generating.
“Why can’t you just do it yourself?” my mother prods when I meet her at Pilates a week later, wanting to not be disturbed by this, yet another comfort zone-challenging ritual in which her daughter is dabbling, and yet still not getting it.
It’s not that I can’t; it’s that I don’t. I tend to forget that a) I have a bundle of nerves in my vagina that tingle when stimulated; and b) I can stimulate them whenever I want to. I’m a heady gal – “an upper chakra creator” as Trish, my go-to psychic, likes to say. More often than not, I forget I even have a body, let alone that caressing it is an option. But, even if I chose to remember, OMing and masturbating are not the same thing.
“Ooohh…” Josh groans, clearly navigating a surge of arousal as the tip of his finger waggles up and down and up and down and up and down along the top of my clit.
OMing is an exchange – of trust and vulnerability, and of grunts and desire, but mostly of the electro-chemical polarities that attract masculine and feminine.
“I felt this electrical jolt – like a lightning bolt – shooting out of your clit and into my finger, where it traveled up my arm, across my chest, into my heart, down into my cock, and out my other arm, like a circuit, and then it just kept circulating for the rest of the OM,” said Lance, a guy who once stroked me while I was crashing at Jamie’s, and we were Sharing Frames after the stroking part, which isn’t quite as cringey as The Noticing, but is sort of in the ballpark.
The point is that something larger, magnetic and infinitely more mysterious happens when fingertip strokes clit in this specific way and inside of this container – something that doesn’t happen when I’m jerking myself off.
It’s the electro-chemical exchange that inspired me to try Orgasmic Meditation in the first place, back when I was cozy in a monogamous love thang, and my partner and I read Slow Sex together at a Colorado hot spring, and thus grooved on Nicole Daedone’s whole down with stimulation, up with sensitivity/awareness philosophy, and took to a daily OM practice.
“Achoo!” sneezed then boyfriend.
“Wow!” I said, shivering, because I felt his sneeze in my own body as palpably as if it were my own.
I liken it to Vipassana meditation, wherein the prolonged practice of scanning the body for sensation strips away the walls and shadows that obscure our hearts and our light and our genius. The practice of OMing strips away the walls and the density that obscure not only our connection to our own feeling nature, but to the shared feeling nature that conscious sexual exchange inspires when we know how to work with it.
“Ooh,” boyfriend said, when he hit a particularly sweet spot with his tongue during a post-OM canoodle. “I felt that one in my toes.”
“Do…more…that…” I instructed, palming his skull, trying to catch my breath, “…hnnnh!…”
But, it’s not just instances of Freaky Friday-like feeling-sharing that differentiates OMing from diddling myself. Orgasmic Meditation isn’t goal-oriented – there is no race toward climax. In fact, it’s not even a destination. Sure, it happens; I hear. I’ve yet to climax during an OM, and I have all of zero interest in doing so, and not just because I think it would be thoroughly embarrassing.
The magic is at the edge, which is where all magic lies, and – for me – OMing is the perfect set-up to play with that edge, to redirect the energy that threatens to undo me in a fit of trembles, spasms, shrieks and sensation, and to instead redirect it up my spine and into my head, where it dances between my third eye and my crown, and animates my entire body with a thousand and one lightning bolts exploding behind my eyelids and across my every meridian in fractalized bursts of psychedelia.
“UNNHHH!!” Josh sucks in his breath at the very same moment a jolt of electricity explodes in my upper cervical spine, and then mutters a thoroughly floored: “Whoah.”
“And, what’s in it for the guy?” Mom presses.
I can’t really say, not being a guy or having ever stroked, but that doesn’t stop me from rolling my eyes, and snorting, and saying “Mom, I already explained this,” because even though I’m a grown woman, there’s something about sharing time/space with my mother that inspires adolescent histrionics. “It strips away the layers of calcified density, and renders them more sensitive and available to experience their own sensation through less and less stimulation.”
Also, a lot of the guys in the community are spazzy dweebs who, if it weren’t for One Taste, wouldn’t likely see much pussy, let alone get to touch any, unless they were paying for it.
“Two minutes,” Josh says, alerting me to the impending close of our session with a pronounced shift in his touch – Downstroking, they call it, which is totally applicable when spread eagle and doused in coconut lube in The Nest, but kind of annoying when chatting with my friend over kale smoothies.
“You probably want to downstroke her before telling her you don’t want to work with her anymore,” Jamie advises.
I roll my eyes and vomit just the tiniest bit in the back of my throat, not because it’s not good advice, but because I’m still having a hard time getting used to my friend’s tendency to talk like a cult initiate.
“Time,” Josh says with a massive exhale, removing his hand from very, very tingly pussy, despite my clit’s silent pulsing pleas for him to come back, to stay awhile, to keep doing that thing he was doing with his finger for – like, I dunno…ever?
I exhale as Josh grounds me back into my body, and into the room, again mashing his hands atop my only slightly trembling thighs. He helps me up to a sitting position where I drape the now damp washcloth over my lady bits, and avail myself to the grand finale – the Sharing of Frames.
“There was this moment, when I saw, like, a drop of – um…well, your juices on the edge of your pussy, and – uh, well – when I did, I felt a lot of sensation in my cock.”
I think the point is to get us in the practice of communicating our turn on, and our feeling experience. It’s gotten easier, the Frame-Sharing, minus the moments when I realize, mid-OM, that I’m going to have to do it, and then I retreat to my head, scanning the practice for something noteworthy to speak to. That, and the fact that I don’t love talking to strangers about my turn-on, but – whatever – I’m a grown-up; I can deal.
“There was a moment when you pulled back on the pressure, and I found myself wanting to chase it, but instead chose to inhale into my clit, and found the connection I was craving through my own breath.”
“Awesome.”
“Rad.”
“Thanks.”
And with that, we are complete.
It’s actually my favorite part of the whole experience, the leaving, the absence of lingering eye locks, of nervous heart flutters, of carefully couched farewells that may or may not allude to a deepening intimacy, and to future dalliances that so often never come to pass. I love the none of that. It’s honest. It’s clean. We have accomplished the business at hand – the touching of my pussy – and now that we are finished, I will be on my (way merrier) way.
Back in Jamie’s kitchen, dinner is ready – kale salad with pumpkin seeds and tons of nutritional yeast.
“How was that?” Jamie asks, knowing smile hijacking her perpetually radiant face.
“Best. Friend. Ever.” I gush, proffering the world’s most grateful hug, feeling infinitely less suicidal and – dare I say – pretty darned good.
Dani Katz is the creator of the I Am Calendar 2015, a total astro/affirmation/badass birthday fest of all ’round awesomeness. You can find out more about her work here.
The Cosmic energy this month invites an adventure to the ends of your imagination. This simple yoga sequence for Sagittarius is designed to create space in your mind and body for bold new visions to form, says Ash Baker. Images: Mara Hoffman fall 2012
:: SAGITTARIUS :: November 22 to December 21 ::
Ruler: Jupiter Element: Fire Modality: Mutable Anatomy: Hips, thighs, muscles.
9th sign of the Zodiac
Expansion, possibility and the strength to go after all that you desire. Cue the visionary energy that is Sagittarius! We are now entering the last month of the calendar year, and a fresh new start is just around the corner. This is an opportune time to start meditating, processing, and dreaming about what you want 2015 to look like. Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck is the king of Sag, so use this auspicious energy to create what you want.
We are also preparing to bid farewell to the Chinese year of the Horse, another symbol for Sag, so take some time now to honor and on reflect all the adventures of 2014 that have brought you to the turning point you now find yourself arrived at.
As Sag is the sign of higher education, whether that be university or self-study, use the longer nights now as an excuse to curl up with a book that expands your mind, or watch a documentary that informs your choices. Knowledge is power for these archers. The practice below is designed to create space in your body for self-inquiry, dream catching and some rejuvenating end of year rest.
:: Pigeon Pose :: Come into Downward Dog. Inhale and lift the right leg up in the air behind you. Exhale, sweep your knee in towards your chest and place the right knee behind your right wrist. Bring the hips to the floor and lengthen your left leg out behind you. Make sure your left knee and the top of the foot are facing the floor. Sit upright for a moment and center your hips. If you find yourself leaning to one direction take a block or blanket under the drooping side. Once you find your center take your hands and place them down in front of you. You can use your breath to go deeper. As you inhale, lengthen the spine. As you exhale, sink further forward, walking the hands away from you. If you have the flexibility, completely fold forward and rest your forehead on the floor. Stay here for 30 seconds up to a few minutes depending on your level of practice. Press up to Downward Dog pose, walk the feet in place for a few seconds and then repeat on the left side.
:: Supported Bound Angle:: Sitting on a blanket, draw the soles of your feet together to touch. Take a block under each knee. Take your hands behind you and slowly lay on your back. You can take your blanket from under your seat and place it under your head if you find that more supportive. Let your arms relax at your sides with the palms up. Relax your whole body and rest for five whole minutes.
*Counterpose- bring your feet as wide as your mat, plant your soles on the floor and let your knees fall in. BREATHE.
:: Supine twist :: Come to your back and draw your knees into your chest. Take a deep inhale and on the exhale drop both knees over to the right. Take your arms out to the sides like wings. Take your gaze to the left. With each inhale allow your spine to lengthen and your belly to fully expand. On the exhale allow your body to twist deeper. Stay here for a few minutes and then inhale the knees back to center. Exhale and repeat on the opposite side. Enjoy this detoxifying twist. Use your breath to emotionally release anything holding you back from moving forward with your goals.
:: Legs up the wall Meditation :: This pose and meditation will create space in your mind, relaxation in your body and openness of the heart by resetting your central nervous system. Come over to a wall space and sit down next to it with one hip against the wall, or as close as you can get your hip to the wall. As you start to lay down flat on your back simultaneously begin to walk your feet sideways up the wall, until your feet are pointing straight towards the ceiling. The knees can have a slight bend and if you want extra support take a block or blanket under your hips. Your hips and seat should be touching the wall, so inch your way as close as you can get. Just rest your arms out to the sides or lay them on your belly/heart. Close your eyes and focus on the sensation of relaxing. Keep your attention on your breath moving in and out. The aim is to create a clear space in your mind in which to invent your future. Stay here up to 15 minutes.
Monthly Mantra: “I ask for, act on and receive blessings in divine timing.”
All Hallows Eve is about more than slutty costumes and tequila shots. Here, our favorite modern mystics share their ideas for a super spiritual Halloween… Illustrations: Natalie Shau
Oh, wait…what if Halloween wasn’t just about dressing up as a slutty ghost and getting slammed on tequila shots? What if it were actually an ancient Pagan celebration to recognise the passing of souls, at a time when the veil between the two worlds is at its thinnest? Hmmm…
The way I’ve come to see it, there are two ways to get down and party with the concept of death. Laugh in its face (ridiculous costumes, booty shakin’ to Black Widow, copious amounts of alcohol), or look it calmly in the face and accept what you see.
Last year I chose option two. Dressed head-to-toe in non-costume black, I attended a séance on All Hallows Eve. The messages that came through for people were all supportive and loving, and afterwards we enjoyed a silent (pot-luck, mainly vegan) supper with our deceased ancestors.
Here, some of our favorite modern mystics share their ideas for a super spiritual Halloween. May the most fabulous phantoms be with you…
Halloween is the time when the veils between the worlds are the thinnest, making it an ideal time for you to simply sit quietly and connect with your ancestors. Find some time to yourself on Friday to tune in.
To get into the right energy and to make sure you stay safe, I recommend you clear and protect your energy first. Now turn off all electronics and light a candle.
Using your imagination and all five senses, your ancestors will speak to you through symbols, so be sure to have a pen and paper nearby to record any psychic impressions that come through for you to be interpreted later. When it comes to deciphering the messages in these symbols, trust your intuitive voice – and focus on the feeling associated with what you saw, felt, smelt or heard.
To honour this step forward into the darker part of the year, perform this simple and insightful Four Card Tarot/Oracle reading to honour your own shadow side.
Card 1: What aspect of my shadow self needs some light shining upon it right now? Card 2: What is holding me back from moving forwards? Card 3: What actions will help me nurture and explore this aspect of myself? Card 4: What secret message does my inner soul system have for me?
:: FROM INTUITIVE COACH AND ELEMENTAL REALMS EXPERT MADELINE GILES ::
In my opinion, animals are the bridge between heaven and earth, and thus act as messengers on behalf of Spirit. The below ritual is one of my favorite ways to intentionally ask for answers and see physical evidence of receiving guidance. Do not underestimate the simplicity of this exercise, it can produce many miracles as long as you are willing to trust and allow your intuition to take charge.
1. Prepare for a walk. Before you head out (or you can do this outside), center yourself by taking long, deep breaths. Call upon Divine source/angels/your guides/whatever resonates and the animal kingdom. Set an intention to receive a message, answer and/or sign from an animal who can help you with a particular situation for the highest good of all concerned.
2. Be Fully Present in your walk. That means no headphones, iPod, or cell phone. Really BE with each moment. Pay attention to the animals and insects you pass en route and assess your feelings about them. When you sense a true resonance with a particular animal or insect, accept that animal as your messenger.
(Note: you do not need to see the animal in flesh. If you spot an animal on a t-shirt, billboard, photograph, etc. – honor that. The animal is equally valid no matter the form it shows up in. This is why it’s extra important to pay attention!)
3. Once you’ve met your animal, ask what message it has for you and notice the initial feelings, impressions, and/or words you hear. Really feel into what this animal wishes to communicate to you before looking it up in a book or online. What feels true to you takes precedence over what anyone else says, including experts.
4. Express gratitude and continue to pay attention over the next three days. You can further synthesize this process by tracking your experience in a journal.
:: FROM PSYCHIC AND SPIRITUAL COACH TODD SAVVAS ::
Many people forget that Samhain, All Hallows eve and Halloween (and all variations of) can be used to express your other archetypal natures. Yes, many people express that as being a ‘sexy kitty’ or a ‘slutty nurse’. But why not try meditating for a moment on what your soul truly wants to express instead? This will reveal aspects of your self that want to reveal their power as the doorway of Halloween opens.
For example: perhaps you feel as if this year has been all about endings and new beginnings. You’ve left a job or a relationship, and come to some realisations about yourself in the process. You can call on the power of rebirth and transformation to honour and solidify this, by dressing as something that symbolises, signifies or represents transformation – like a phoenix. After all, the true Magickian owns their every action as an opportunity to shape the forces of the universe.
I suggest running a hot bath, adding some delicious lavender Epsom salts, essential oils and some of my TLC Healing Remedy. Add a rose crystal and some rose petals. Light some candles and put them all around the bath and bathroom.
Lying in this special bath, meditate on your own death, the celebration of passing to the next life and the beauty of life and death. What would people say at your funeral? What you could be doing with your life now to create an epitaph that reflects the impression you’d like to leave in this world?
Meditate on your ancestors and on all lost souls and send them light and love. Send this all over the world. To end your meditation, spend a few moments in simple gratitude for all you have in this life now, for breath and for love.
The short video below introduces the basics of Custom Altar Design – i.e. how to create an altar for Halloween that’s specific to what you want to manifest in your life at this auspicious time.
As the nights get longer, Scorpio season is here to make us face our inner demons – all in the name of transformation, of course. Use Ash Baker’s simple yoga sequence for Scorpio like a physical prayer to take you there…
Madonna shot for H&M 2006
SCORPIO October 23 to November 21
Ruler: Pluto, Mars Element: Water Modality: Fixed Anatomy: The nose, genital organs, blood, bladder and bowels.
8th sign of the Zodiac
Phew – we survived. Coming out of Mercury Retrograde and two Eclipses, now it’s time to transform and integrate what we’ve learned – and there’s no better sign than Scorpio as a backdrop. Symbolising re-birth and transformation on the deepest level, the most mysterious sign of the Zodiac invites us to do a deep dive and shine a light into the Cosmic cave.
Scorpio season knows it takes serious determination to kick out of our comfort zone and rise above the banal. As for the famous sting in the Scorpio tail? Sure, if you piss ‘em off you’ll feel it – but all of us possess that inner warrior, the loyal guardian of our deepest truths.
To harness this energy in the month to come, let us focus on the strength, wisdom and determination of the Scorpion. The poses chosen here are designed to ignite the energy to overcome that which no longer serves you, and to dig a little deeper into your own dark corners to bring your truth to light.
Skull Shining Breath :: Kapalabhati Pranayama This breathwork will help to eliminate toxins, amp up your energy, and get your blood moving. Find a comfortable cross-legged seat on a blanket to prop up the hips and lengthen the spine. Let your hands rest on your thighs. If you’re a tactile person you can place your hands on top of each other on your belly. Take a deep inhale through your nose. Exhale and quickly contract your belly inward pressing all of the air out. The next inhale should be automatic and passive. Aiming for 60 rounds of beath per minute, the contractions in your lower belly should follow in rapid succession. One minute is enough if you’re new to breathwork, otherwise try three minutes. When you’re finished take a deep inhale through the nose and exhale fully through the mouth.
*Avoid this if you have high blood pressure, hernia, heart disease or are a pregnant mama to be!
Boat Pose :: Navasana Come to sit and bend the knees with the feet on the floor. Take your hands behind you with your fingertips pointed towards you. Press your hands and sit bones down towards the floor to lengthen your spine upward. Engage your pelvic floor by scooping the tailbone slightly forward and your pubic bone up towards your chest. This action will automatically engage your abdominals. If you’re a total beginner stay here and just breathe. If you wish to go further, draw your calves up in alignment with your knees, parallel to the floor. You can keep your hands behind you for support or take them behind your thighs. Keep lifting your chest up and keep the spine straight. Don’t let your lower back round at all. To move into the full pose, straighten one leg and then the other, reaching through the toes. Take your arms straight out parallel with the floor. Keep lifting the heart with each inhale and squeeze your pelvic floor (bathroom muscles) with each exhale.
Bound Angle :: Baddha Konasana Find a comfortable seat. Imagine your spine lengthening with each inhale, pulling you up from the crown of your head. Draw the soles of your feet together to touch. If you need a little support or feel a pulling sensation in your inner thighs you can sit on a blanket or place a block under each knee. Take a hold of your feet and pull your chest through your arms to feel as much length in your spine as you can. Inhale your arms up over your head and begin to fold forward at your hip creases with a flat spine until you reach the edge of your stretch. Then place your hands down and allow a little rounding of your upper spine and neck to happen. Stay here and use your breath to help you relax into the pose more deeply. With each inhale lengthen out a little more and with each exhale sink deeper.
*Counterpose: Lay down on your back and bring your feet as wide as your mat. Let your knees fall in. BREATHE.
:: Sea Breathing Meditation :: Come to lie on your back and drape a blanket over your body. You want to be fully relaxed so take a pillow under your head and a rolled up blanket under your knees if you wish. Imagine you are on the beach, warm and safe. Everything is calm and serene. Feel the heat coming from the sand beneath you and a slight breeze in the air. Scorpions are usually linked to fire but we often forgot that they are water warriors, so direct your attention to the ocean. Listen to it breathing, inhaling as the tide comes in, exhaling as the tide goes out. Now listen to your own breathing. Imagine your breath is syncing up with the tides. You are breathing the ocean. Think briefly about what you would like to wash away from yourself. Picture the vast amazing power and beauty that is the ocean cleansing that which you don’t need. Use the strength of the ocean to find your inner strength. Stay with this practice for as long as you like.
Happy Friday! Here’s what went down in Ruby’s Mystical Week, and an intro to the magical Margaret Nichols, founder of NYC’s Urban Oneness Blessing and truly cosmic coach. Her mission? “I want you to be enlightened. Like Buddha. Like NOW”…
Margaret Nichols: “A fashionista in kind trying to spread sparkle…”
Happy Friday Numis. So who’s counting the hours until Mercury goes direct at 2.17pm ET tomorrow? Despite going into this retrograde phase with some serious positive intentions, much like last week the past seven days have been characterised mainly by missed appointments and a total inability to concentrate on anything useful.
But it was also the week I attended a Dinner With The Dead, hosted by Mama Wolf Kelly Cutrone and spookily accurate psychic medium Thomas John :: caught up with the rest of the planet and started reading Lena Dunham’s brilliant memoir Not That Kind of Girl :: embraced the major drop in temperatures and got back into my local Bikram studio for my “winter” yoga season (my kind of central heating) :: and fell in absolute lust with Andrea Fohrman’s Moon phase jewelry (see below).
Moon Phase charm bracelet by Andrea Fohrman
I also interviewed this week’s Material Girl Margaret Nichols, and got a peek into her Mystical World. Margaret actually reached out to me about contributing to the site, sending a link to a post she wrote for the Huff Post titled Why Martinis and Meditation Mix. Hell yes! But when she talks meditation, this girl knows what she’s talking about.
A graduate of the Oneness University in India, Margaret has led a weekly Deeksha / Oneness Blessing in New York City since 2007. Billed as “spiritual solutions for your modern life,” Deeksha is a sanskrit word for gift. And the gift of the Oneness Blessing is a neurobiological change in the brain that, when complete, enables the senses to be free from the interference of the mind. Basically a different kind of Orgasmic Meditation, this is often accompanied by spontaneous feelings of joy, inner calm and a connection to the Oneness in everything. Yeah, you might want to check it out.
Margaret Nichols has led the Oneness Blessing in NYC since 2007
My label: I love my fashion to be an expression of my environment and how I’m feeling, with a deep bow to all being sacred and shining our light. Right now there is probably more Yumi Kim in my closet than anything else. Fun, fresh and flirty with some edge. Fantastic silks that feel great on my skin.
My shoes: My feminine is truly expressed within my shoe collection (which is a gentle way of saying I have far more pairs of shoes than I actually need). Two more pairs have entered my closet within the last month. Luxe leopard print classic pumps? I feel like I will have these forever. If I’m spending or being gifted something of exquisite quality, I want it to be timeless on all fronts. And for every day easy Sole Society has super fun styles.
My fragrance: 10 years ago I bought a black jasmine oil in a Mysore marketplace in India and I haven’t been able to find it again since. If you find some, let me know! Bvlgari Black Jasmine is the closest I can find to it. (This and Trident gum are probably the only chemical things I regularly put in or on my body.)
My jewels: I recently travelled to see John of God and was so taken by the experience, I immediately ordered some earrings infused with the “Casa” energy from Brazil. Daily, it’s a mix between my mother’s gold bracelets (vintage) and my tulsi mala beads, blessed from Oneness University that I give out when I teach.
My pampering:Yana Herbal Beauty. I’ve been going to Yana (as have many notable New Yorkers) for 14 years. She gives the best facials (Russian-style: NO joke) in the city, with all handmade, natural ingredients and has amazing small batch, local, natural products to take home.
My movie:American Beauty, Amelie, Avatar. What the Bleep Do We Know was also a game changer for me when it came out.
My food: At home, I’m 90 percent vegan, all natural everything. Green juice daily for the better part of the last decade. Years ago, my best friend used to call me the most cleansed person on Earth. But I also love to travel and love to eat out and have gotten way more relaxed about it than I used to be. In my fridge on an average day you are most likely to find: avocado, raw coconut water, all sorts of greens from the farmer’s markets and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
My awakening: Yerba Mate and some incense to clear the morning and say hello / tap into the Divine, before settling into Chakra Dhyana – a simple mediation that aligns all the chakras. I lead myself, depending on how much time I have.
My sign: Sagittarius. Through and through.
My mantra: In Sanskrit: Om Sat Chit Ananda – “I am existence, consciousness, bliss.” In life: “How you do one thing is how you do everything.”
My healer:Vikaz. Whenever anything goes wrong, I process it out as much as I can, and then these guys are my first stop. As in, halt life, do not pass Go, visit immediately. They are incredibly intuitive miracle workers. Definitely not your traditional chiropractic.
My reading: Right now it’s Wild by Cheryl Stayed. Although not a “spiritual” book, I think her Tiny Beautiful Things should be mandatory reading for everybody on how to be a generous, beautiful person. Oneness by Rasha and Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda are also always nearby to be picked up.
My transformation:Oneness University in India is where are my teachers reside. It’s literally the magic kingdom and led me to everything. In NYC, Ashtanga Yoga New York with Eddie Stern and his crew of teachers offers authentic Mysore style self-practice of yoga. It’s about as advanced as you can get if you need it, although they welcome every level. It’s also home to the only Ganesh temple in all of Manhattan – an incredibly pure and absolutely gorgeous space and a rare sanctuary in Manhattan.
My home: West Village, pre-war details, cozy meets glam with a touch of the Far East and dosed with Love 24/7. If I could afford him, my bestie Adam Hunter would do my decor.
With a Mercury retro period and two eclipses to navigate in the coming weeks, is the Cosmic joke on us? Ash Baker shares a grounding and balancing yoga sequence for Libra, to foster harmony and equanimity in the chaos. Main image: Brittany Alcorn.
LIBRA September 23rd to October 22nd
Ruler: Venus Element: Air Modality: Cardinal Anatomy: Kidneys and lower back
7th sign of the Zodiac
Venus, cosmic queen of love and the ruler of Libra will be energetically present throughout the heavens this month. This is a time to focus on cultivating harmony, balance and peace within your life. So much change is coming upon us. Mercury will retrograde from October 4th – 25th, during which time we’ll also experience a lunar eclipse on October 8th and a solar eclipse on October 23rd.
Now people tend to run for the hills when Mercury retrogrades, but personally I prefer to use this time to pause and deeply reflect on all the changes that may be occurring within you and around you. Those changes may come apparent as the eclipses also stop by to say hello.
Eclipses are known for removing something in your life, may it be a fear producing attitude, a toxic relationship, or whatever is blocking you from getting your dream job. Thankfully, all this cosmic drama is going down in the month of love and harmony. Use the Libran energy to find balance in the crazy, cultivating gratitude for what is, and peace with what isn’t.
The poses below have been chosen to help you find your inner calm and be your very own Venus.
Goddess Pose :: Utkata Konasana Come into Tadasana, standing Mountain Pose, at the front of your mat. Step the right foot back as if you were about to do a lunge. Instead, turn your whole body to the right, making sure your torso is in the center, right above the pelvis.
Step both feet to a 45-degree angle, with the toes out and the heels in. Take a deep inhale and as you exhale bend your knees directly over your heels. Make sure your hips are in line with your knees. Bring your hands in front of your heart in prayer.
Allow yourself to feel the heat being created from the strength in your legs, and with each inhale imagine scooping up that fierceness from below and exhaling it into your full, gorgeous heart. Hold for up to one minute.
Warrior Two :: Virabhadrasana Two Come back to Tadasana. Step the right foot back three-four feet. Turn your right foot to a slight angle with the toes out and the heel in. The left foot should be pointed forward.
Inhale and reach the arms up and out in line with your shoulders like wings. Your torso should be facing the right side, arms extended above your legs. Simultaneously exhale, and begin to bend the front knee so it lines up with the ankle. If you’re a beginner, lessen the bend in the knee but never take it further than your ankle.
Look directly along the length of your left arm, chin aligned with your left shoulder. If you gaze down, you should see your 1st/2nd toes. Make sure your torso is directly above your pelvis.
Reach your arms out wider and feel them lengthening. Press your feet down into the ground, gathering energy back into the body. Hold for 30 seconds, up to 1 minute. Come back to Tadasana and switch sides.
Cat / Cow Pose :: Marjaryasana & Bitilasana Come to hands and knees. Make sure your hips are right over your knees and your elbows are directly above your wrists. Keep a slight bend at the elbows.
As you inhale, arch your spine and pull your chest through your shoulders creating an opening in your collarbones. The chest and the sitting bones reach upward.
Exhaling begin to tuck your tailbone, press the hands downward into the floor and round your spine. Feel your shoulder blades spread wide across the back. Repeat for five rounds.
Scales of Peace Meditation Find a comfortable seat. Prop yourself up on a blanket so the hips are higher than the knees, creating a slight pelvic tilt. Take a moment to notice your natural breath, but don’t change it. Just soften into your energy.
After a couple of minutes start to deepen your breath by following a count of five seconds for the inhale and five seconds for the exhale. Really focus on expanding your belly on the inhale, and then drawing the belly button inward towards the spine on the exhale. Try five rounds of this deeper breath.
Now bring your hands to your heart and think of something in your life where you want to create balance. Hold that in your heart space for a moment. Then picture what it would look like if it were in balance. How would that feel? Keep breathing with that feeling.
Stay here for as long as you need and allow yourself to arrive at answers that may assist you in creating actual balance in your chosen issue. Try doing some journaling afterwards to create action-worthy ideas to help bring equanimity into your life.
Monthly Mantra: “I am the ruler of my own harmony.”
Wanna get high? Breathwork is creating a buzz on the holistic wellness scene as a way of rapidly releasing stagnant “shadow material” from the Second Chakra. Practitioner Erin Telford reports…Images: Via Disco Rat on Behance.com
The first time I ever experienced Breathwork was on a yoga retreat in Nicaragua. The plan was to do some Prana Yama before dinner. No big deal, I thought. We’ll do some Nadi Shodana, some meditation, nice and mellow. I had no idea what I was in for and that this practice would change my life.
We started out lying on our backs on our mats. Luke Simon, our teacher, instructed us to take a deep open mouth breath into the belly, the second into the heart space and exhale out of the mouth. No big deal. I actually thought for a minute that I might get bored! Little did I know…
After about ten minutes, the vibration in the space started to crackle and the jungle backdrop only magnified the energy that was starting to flow. You could hear the ocean waves thundering onto the beach, the wind whipping in the trees, the buzzing of the jungle and all of its creatures, and the gentle accompaniment of some beautifully channeled chants and drumming. Things were about to get wild.
Luke asked us to yell as loud as we could on the count of 3…2…1. We let it rip. Normally I would be really self-conscious being asked to scream but it was easy in a group and everyone went for it. It felt AMAZING to yell. I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that in such a neutral, safe and supported way.
Then things got really interesting – because once I opened up that channel, the tears started to flow. One of my very favorite acupuncture professors used to say, “Anger is the oil slick on an ocean of grief.” Once I roared out my heartache, a huge surge of sadness started to well up in my body. I really resisted that pain at first. I wanted to close my mouth and swallow it all back down where it came from.
But finally, I completely let myself go and gave myself the experience I truly needed. It was one of the most profound healings I’ve ever had in my life.
Luke moved fluidly around each one of us, holding a hand, stroking a head, applying an essential oil, placing the perfect vibrational crystal on each of us. When it was all over, I felt the most open and soft that I think I’ve ever felt. The breath acted like a spiritual Brillo pad and stripped away the bristly stickiness of resentments and pain. The afterglow was one of the highest natural highs I’ve ever experienced. It felt warm, intimate, loving, a little drunk feeling, and like a soul cleanse. I wanted to hug everybody!
After we shared our experiences and closed the circle, I grabbed Luke and was like, “What did we just DO and where did you learn that??” He told me he had learned this Breathwork from a man named David Elliot in L.A. I was hooked and ran to my room to see how I could get to study with David as soon as possible!
I’ve since been studying with David since May, and his classes are really like Life Training. His message is Self Love, and he teaches healthy ways to balance the exchange between giving and receiving. When we’re filling our selves up with love, the Universe can feed us and we can experience grace and miracles. When we’re seeking love from outside ourselves, it can lead to pain, suffering, aggression addiction and ultimately spiritual illness.
Here’s what you need-to-know about Breathwork before you dive in:
Know that David Elliott learned Breathwork from a healer named Tim Heath that he apprenticed with. It is a rebirthing breath technique that was popular in the 1970’s.
Know that sessions can be done privately, in a group setting, or even by phone or Skype.
Know that in a private session, you have the opportunity to go deeply into what is keeping you stuck or limited in your life. In a group session, there is usually a universal human theme that is chosen to focus on.
Know that active breathing happens for about 30-35 minutes although you will completely lose track of time and be in your own world.
Know that during this time, you may feel extreme tingling or vibrating sensations throughout your body, and that this is the sensation of spirit moving freely through your body.
Know that every experience is different for every person depending on what they are working with, where they want to go with the work and what their body and soul feels ready to release on any given day.
Know that our emotional experiences of our family, our creativity, our sexuality, all of our relationships, and any trauma live in our low belly in our Second Chakra. This is where a lot of our murkier, shadow material can hang out – shame, guilt, humiliation, things we don’t want to admit to ourselves or to others, and experiences we had before we had any coping mechanisms to process them.
Know that when we direct consistent attention to this area by infusing it again and again with our life force, things begin to shake loose. We are effectively “stirring our own pot” of a lifetime of emotional experience. We then draw this breath up to the Heart to be purified and transformed, and then exhale to let it all go.
Know that the euphoric after-glow from a Beathwork session can last for hours, or even days.
As Virgo brings its back-to-school energy of diligence and efficiency, Ash Baker shares some grounding poses to bring purification and clarity. PLUS a meditation to purge your fears ad connect you to the innate gifts within.
VIRGO August 23 to September 22nd
Ruler: Mercury Element: Earth Modality: Mutable Anatomy: Intestines, upper bowel. gallbladder, liver, pancreas and nervous system
6th sign of the Zodiac
The pure and curious creatures of the skies come out from the Cosmic woodwork to say hello this month. As we enter the earthy sign of Virgo, you may feel the winds of change begin to beckon. This month is about an ushering in of the first feelings of Autumn, and a deliciously crisp edge to the atmosphere reminding you to harvest what you’ve been working on.
Virgoans are all about service, purity, analysis and self-containment. All of which characteristics can be used to our utmost advantage. Being in service is gratitude in action and a much needed practice for living in the present. It inspires us to be grounded in a system of a high moral code. Analysis is POWER when used to discern what your heart and soul needs most. Just be careful not to over analyze yourself! And this sign teaches us that when we use self-containment to fill ourselves up with that which we need (gratitude, self love, and truth) we become an unstoppable force of light.
In honor of the Virgo energy that infuses our existence now, here are three poses to detox your whole body, strengthen your liver and calm your nerves. If you have time, flow through a few rounds of Sun Salutes to warm up the body before you move into the more static postures below.
Half Lord Of the Fishes // Ardha Matsyendrasana
Find a comfortable seat with your legs stretched out in front of you. Begin to draw your knees up and drop the left bent knee down to the left. Your left foot should be tucked just under your right seat. Then cross the right foot over the left leg and place it down next to the mid outer hip. This leg will stay upright with the knee towards the ceiling.
Inhale and reach the right arm up, exhale with a slight twist and place it behind your right seat. Take the left upper arm and elbow either around the outside of the right knee or to the outer right hip. This is a deep twist so use your inhales to gather length in your spine and twist deeper on the exhales.
Remember, the twist should be happening in the mid to upper spine. Think ribs up! Hold for five rounds of deep breath and then repeat on the other side.
*Gratitude practice: Inhale and think of something you are grateful for. Exhale and energetically let it surround you.
Bridge Pose // Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This asana offers specific benefits to your liver by strengthening the core muscles that support it. Come down to lie on your back and bend your knees. If you have neck issues take a folded blanket under your shoulders to assist in creating a natural cervical curve.
Make sure your feet are directly under your knees. Rest your arms at your sides. Take a deep inhale through the nose. On your exhale begin to tuck your tailbone, activating the glutes and press your lower back down against the floor. Allow the exhale to lift your hips off the floor. Bring your shoulder blade tips closer together creating space in the front shoulders and collarbone.
Take your arms underneath and clasp your hands together. Press the forearms, hands and feet firmly into the floor. Release on an exhale and slowly wave your spine to the floor. Stay with this pose for 30 seconds up to 1 minute.
*Do not turn your head in this pose.
Supported Shoulderstand // Salamba Sarvangasana
Begin by folding two blankets into a rectangle shape about one-foot by two-foot. Come to lie on your back with the knees bent and your feet on the floor. Make sure the top two-foot edge of your blanket is lined up with the tops of your shoulders. Your head should be resting on the floor. Inhale, and on your exhale place your arms at your sides.
Firmly press your arms down into the floor as you draw your knees up and your thighs in towards your chest. Take a bend at the elbows making sure they are in alignment with your shoulders and place your palms on the small of your back for support. Begin to really curl your tailbone and extend the legs straight up towards the ceiling while simultaneously walking the hands up the back towards the floor.
Reach up through your toes and focus on bringing your chest towards your chin. Maintain a nice curve to your neck and do not turn your head. Hold this for 30 seconds if you’re a beginner, or more advanced yogis can hold up to five minutes.
To come down, exhale while gently bringing your knees towards your chest and roll the spine out long.
*Allow your body to relax and soak up the benefits of these poses!
You are a jar of stars meditation // Cosmic canned goods
Find a blissful space to sprawl out under a blanket. Maybe even under the moon and stars. Take an inhale for the length of five seconds, hold the breath in for five seconds and exhale for the length of five seconds. Go through 10 rounds of this more controlled breath. Then find a nice, soft rhythmic breath that suits you and place both hands on your belly.
See yourself laying there in your mind’s eye. Understand your body as a container for anything you wish to either get rid of or cultivate. Virgos are masters of discernment and can be an example when it comes to weeding out what we do or don’t want. As you inhale find the positive strengths you possess and view them expanding within you. You are your own cosmic universe.
As you exhale, visualize letting go of the negative junk that makes you feel sad or insecure. Allow your body to be a vessel for change. Lay here as long as you wish.
Monthly Mantra: I am the master of my own domain and I honor my truth.
