WORK WITH SATURN TO TAME YOUR INNER CRITIC

How to turn your Inner Critic into your inner motivational coach? Learn to work with your Saturn placement, says Sandy Sitron

Photo: David Menidrey

Each of us has an Inner Critic. A little voice in our head who tells us what we need to do different or better. Some of us have a REALLY LOUD Inner Critic. Some of us learn to turn the volume down over time, using tools like yoga, meditation, and self-compassion practice.

And we can also use astrology, where the the Inner Critic archetype is ruled by the planet Saturn.

This means that the placement of Saturn in our birth charts, shows the nature of our Inner Critic, the tone of its voice, and the area of life where we’re most likely to feel most harassed by it. Depending on how we’re feeling, this same Saturn energy can also shows up the Teacher, the Life Coach, or the Mentor. Can you see how, actually, the Inner Critic shares an energetic “tone” with these more “positive” archetypes?

The Inner Critic is one of the more difficult Saturn archetypes to welcome in (an in astrology, the invitation is to accept and forgive ALL parts of our Self!). But considering how shitty a negative inner dialogue can make us feel, let alone prevent us from taking risks on following our dreams, and asking for what we’re worth, it’s also one of the most important Saturn archetypes to learn to work with effectively. (Check out my FREE webinar on April 5 2019 for a live lesson on this!)

But first, consider: Do you know what I mean when I talk about this Inner Critic voice? Can you imagine what yours sounds like? 

As I’ve been writing this post, my Inner Critic has been talking to me. Before I left the house today, my Inner Critic was chattering about my hair and quantifying the amount of dust piling up on the lampshades in my home.

Even if you’re reading this first thing in the morning, chances are your Inner Critic has already been pointing a few of your “shortcomings” out to you, too. You forgot to send that email. You sent it, but wish you’d worded it better. You don’t call your mom often enough. You ate all the fries last night. UGH!

Is our Inner Critic helping us? Believe it or not, this is their original intent. You see, our Inner Critic only wants to make sure that we belong. That we’re socially acceptable. That we don’t say anything confusing, incorrect, stupid, or hurtful. It wants us not to miss out on any of the love! But I’m not psyched about this particular brand of help, because it can easily contribute to anxiety and depression.

So, where did this Inner Critic come from?

Like most subconscious programming, this archetype develops during early childhood. When we are kids our parents/teachers/family/community members/religious leaders try to train us so that we fit in, look good, are kind, have discipline, and will experience success in life. In doing this, even the most gentle caretakers may (often unconsciously) encourage us to edit who we are in one way or another. It’s pretty much unavoidable.

For a kid, this training can be internalized (again, unconsciously) as “I am not acceptable as I am.” We internalize this voice so that we can fit in, be loved, and succeed. We begin to police ourselves.

So what does this have to do with Saturn?!

When I’m looking at a client’s chart to help them with the topic of self-criticism, I always look to the Saturn sign and placement for clues. Saturn is archetype that wants us to succeed in the real world. As mentioned, in the highest evolution of this energy, Saturn can be the Coach, Teacher or Mentor. The more challenging form of this energy is the Inner Critic. It is normal and healthy to experience all these expressions of Saturnian energy.

And, by simply learning to raise your awareness of when the tone has flipped, you can turn the volume down on your Inner Critic, and raise the volume up on your Inner Teacher. One way to do this is to simply talk to Saturn. Here’s how:

  • Close your eyes and Imagine that you’re sitting in a room with your Saturn or your Inner Critic (use whichever term you prefer).
  • Start to ask some questions. Ask Saturn what they are trying to help you with right now.
  • Listen for the answer.
  • Thank them for her help.
  • Ask if there’s another way they can try to communicate this information.
  • Now explain to them how you would like your relationship to change.
  • Thank them and say goodbye for now.

You can book a meeting (Saturn loves structure!) with your Saturn/Inner Critic whenever you want to tone down anxious thinking or get out of a funk. The more you have these conversations with your Saturn/Inner Critic, the more you can turn the volume down on self-flagellation and UP on self-motivation!

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Want to learn how to work with your personal Saturn placement? Join Sandy for a FREE astro-coaching webinar all about Saturn on April 5 2019 (register HERE)

10 REASONS TO CELEBRATE YOUR SATURN RETURN

Yes, really! Your Saturn Return is a GIFT, says Sandra Sitron. Here’s how to work with this cosmic rite of passage …

Check out Sandy’s Saturn Return Course!

 

Yikes, the dreaded Saturn Return. The moment in our lives when Saturn, the karmic task-master, returns to the same place it shows up in our birth chart—often bringing with it an epicccccc cosmic wake-up call.

Like an SAT test from the Universe, we experience a Saturn Return at ages 27—29, and ages 54—58—a.k.a. your classic quarter and mid-life crisis years! Depending how aligned we are with our true path, and where saturn is in our birth chart, this can a period of deep, dark existential self-enquiry—often accompanied by game-changing life events.

But the good news is our Saturn Return ALWAYS brings huge opportunity for personal growth—particularly when it comes to getting us back on track with our SOUL PURPOSE.

Which is why our resident astrologer Sandra Sitron has teamed up with transformational coach Dana Bilicki to create the SATURN RETURN WORKSHOP! A 7-week digital deep-dive designed to help you understand and work with the unique gifts of your Saturn Return, this is a MUST—whether you’re in the thick of it, have a Saturn Return around the corner, or want to make sense of your Saturn Return as the lessons have played out over the years.

To give you a taster,  Sandra has 10 Reasons to Celebrate Your Saturn Return (below) … She’ll also be hosting a FREE live webinar on how to navigate your “cosmic rite of passage” on 4/11 at 2pm EST. Click HERE to register!

Your Saturn Return Guides Sandy Sitron and Dana Balicki

 

You learn not to care (as much) about what other people think.
Everyone says that after the age of 30 you just don’t care as much what other people think, and astrologers often attribute this to your Saturn Return. The changes that happen during this time help you stand up a little bit straighter and feel a little more confident (btw, Saturn rules the spine). The growth that happens during this phase teaches you that your worth comes from within and it doesn’t matter what other people think. All that matters is your own self-respect.

You learn not to compare yourself to others.
Saturn teaches us that everyone has their own timeframe and their own unique goals. Events may happen at the Saturn Return that are unexpected and cause you to reassess. Things start to look less black and white. This offers an amazing chance to switch into a new paradigm and take yourself out of the old habit of comparing yourself to your classmates at school. Surprisingly Saturn, the stern, authoritative teacher, can help you become more gentle with yourself, by reminding you that life is complicated and everything is not as it seems. There’s no reason for comparison.

You start to think about time differently.
Instead of feeling like you have to have it all sorted out by age 30, you discover that there’s actually way more time. Some people report feeling way younger after their Saturn Return than they did when they were 29. Saturn encourages you to age gracefully and enjoy your golden years. Once you pass your first Saturn Return, you realize you’ve got more time than you thought to experiment, goof-off and explore.

You become more aware of your thought patterns (a.k.a. self-limiting beliefs).
We rely a variety of “false” beliefs when we’re kids, because we just don’t have all the facts yet. For example a kid whose parents got divorced may think she caused the split, so as a result she may decide “I’m not good / lovable enough.” Of course, from an adult perspective, that’s not what happened at all. But the child can subconsciously hold onto that “false” belief for years. Luckily, the Saturn Return brings an extra dose of logic and maturity, helping you become more aware of these kinds of harmful thought patterns. The transit is the perfect time to upgrade to a healthier way of thinking.

You become more aware of your coping mechanisms.
In the same way Saturn helps reveal the honest truth of how you are thinking about things, Saturn also shows you what habits keep you from feeling all your feelings. Most of us have got something we reach for when the going gets tough: food, alcohol, drugs, sex, work, shopping, video games, etc … Sometimes, these compulsive actions are so effective we don’t even realize we’re using them to shield us from our true emotions. But at the Saturn Return, coping mechanisms either stop being as effective, or they become more uncomfortable. And this is definitely something to celebrate, because now you get a chance to ask yourself: “am I sad? am I lonely? am I angry?” And begin to work out why. It might be difficult to feel those tough emotions initially, but with practice honoring your emotions will free up a ton of energy!

You get to be the boss.
At your Saturn Return, you start to see yourself as more of an authority. Maybe you become more of an expert in your field, a manager at work, or a parent at home. But even if you don’t actually become an authority in the most obvious sense, you certainly start to feel more of a sense of authority come from within. You start to trust yourself more.

It’s your cosmic rite of passage.
And as such, for many people, the Saturn Return can bring in big life events that help you grow up real fast. Some people solidify a relationship (marriage, moving in together.) Some get their first solo, grown-up apartment. Some have a kid or take a step up the ladder at work. Saturn teaches about progress, so it definitely makes sense that you could reach a new milestone at this time.

You learn the value of hard work.
Saturn, that scrupulous cosmic teacher, is pushing you to buckle down and get to work. So you do. You dig in. In some area of your life you push yourself. And if you do the work, rest assured, it WILL pay off. Saturn rewards effort. Sometimes during the Saturn Return it feels like you’re banging your head against the wall. But that’s a mirage. Eventually, this effort pays off. You may also notice that you start showing up on time more at your Saturn Return. You might find that you volunteer for a leadership or management role. This is definitely the primo moment for the Universe to give you more responsibility, and this will undoubtedly result in a sense of pride and accomplishment. Definitely worth celebrating!

You end up with more energy.
One of the best thing to celebrate about your Saturn Return! All of the changes during this transit are designed to help you clear out the parts of your life that are no longer efficient. Unnecessary beliefs, behaviors, patterns, relationships, commitments—anything that’s taking up too much energy has got to go! Freeing you to  come out the other side with more energy to live your purpose.

Goals, goals, goals …
The confidence that you’re building at your Saturn Return helps you think about your trajectory in a more clear-cut way than you may have before. You may become even more directed and better at planning than you were before. This is definitely a benefit that usually rides the tail of your Saturn Return. Your return is meant to help you steady yourself, trust yourself and know yourself better. When it’s over it’s that much easier to set workable goals for the ideal future that you desire.

Got questions about your Saturn Return? Don’t forget to join Sandra and Dana for their FREE LIVE webinar Wednesday April 11 at 2pm EST! Click HERE to register! 

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE IN 2018

Some spell-crafting and cosmic intervention sure—but manifesting abundance in 2018 for me mainly means getting real, says Ruby Warrington

Photo: Caitlin Mitchell

Like a lot of us, I have high hopes for 2018—meaning it can’t be any worse than 2017. Mind you, I also had high expectations last year: it was the year my book came out, after all. And while that has opened all kinds of doors and bought a ton of blessings, it was also the hardest, most vulnerable, and most humbling experience of my life.

Add a backdrop of total political fuckery, a raging tech / iPhone addiction, family health issues, and a steady stream of natural disasters in the news, and I ended last year with a nervous system that felt shot to pieces. Um, anyone?

2017 was the first year I naturally lost weight due to stress (having taken matters into my own hands and starved myself during my traumatic teens). It was the first year I got fillers, as it felt like I began aging on fast forward. It was the year I made my first actual enemies (one of them a celebrity, who got so mad about something I didn’t even do, she sent me emails threatening to ruin my career).

There was plenty more, too, but this post isn’t about how shit last year was—because two weeks in to 2018, and I’m already feeling a MASSIVE shift. Maybe it’s because Saturn has gotten the fuck off my ascendant (moving from Sagittarius into Capricorn in December last year), or that all the all the planets are currently in direct motion (!!!), but things have just been … going my way.

>>>

Projects are popping, my Numinous and Moon Club communities feel supportive and vibrant (I love you guys!), and I’m about to begin work on book #2. My nervous system feels healed, my actions calm, directed, and SOLID. So why the rapid turnaround?

Cosmic omens aside, here are three ways I’ve been actively manifesting a killer 2018:

// I DID A WISHCRAFT SESSION
At the end of last year, amazing hypnotherapist Shauna Cummins suggested I try her Wishcraft experience—which is kind of like a witchy, uber-directed intention-setting ceremony.

During the session, Shauna had myself and Numi assistant editor Bess (SUCH a great exercise to do with a colleague or friend) write out 10 things we love about ourselves / life in general, to get us in the mindset of abundance. Then 10 things we wanted for ourselves in 2018. Then five things we love about The Numinous, and five things we wanted for this platform.

We then did a guided hypnosis where we journeyed to the END of 2018, and envisioned ourselves celebrating the year just gone. The purpose of this was to trick our subconscious minds into believing these things had already come to pass—increasing the chance of them actually happening.

Using these ideal future outcomes, we identified three words or concepts to summarize our core desires for the year ahead. We infused these into candles to be lit again each day over the holidays, to plant our intentions deeper. Two weeks into the year, I’m already seeing results. Shaunacummins.com

// I’M MAKING SPACE FOR WHAT’S “MINE”
Meaning I am literally removing anything from my diary, my work, and my personal life, that is not 100% aligned with my intentions for my Self and my mission. This was something that came up a lot with me and various members of the Numi crew last year—how the more things we said “no” to, the faster the things that were a big “yes” for us showed up.

Which is easier said than done. Already I can hear you going “what about my resonsibilities to my family / friends / job?” Or, “How is doing less going to pay my credit card debt?”

But it was spending a week with no WiFi or cell reception over the holidays, that I was able to really see how being available and in “respond” mode all the time—thanks to email, text, DM, FB messenger, ETC.—leaves very little space for manifesting abundance when it comes to what YOU want and need.

In my book, I talk about how to cultivate healthy “higher selfishness”—something that is counter to everything we’ve been taught about how things work. We’ve learned: push / work hard to get what you want. Give to others before you serve yourself. Be accommodating if you want to be accepted. Ugh, the GUILT of putting ourselves first!

But the fact is, our bodies, brains and consciousness weren’t designed for the sheer volume of “other people’s needs” (family, friends, boss, AND refugees, disaster victims, etc.) that we interact with daily in the Now Age. It’s on us to be discerning about who and what truly deserve our time and energy, and to get okay with closing the door on the rest.

>>>

//I’M GETTING REAL
A large part of why 2017 felt so harsh for so many of us, is that the veil was well and truly lifted. On a personal, a political and a global level, situations stacked up to remind us that NO, everything will not turn out okay if we just keep preaching “love and light!” That it’s on us to pro-actively co-create our desired reality with literally every choice we make and every word we speak.

In 2018, with Saturn coming home to its own sign of Capricorn, it’s like we’re experiencing a collective “Saturn Return”—a.k.a. the mother of all reality checks. Which means no more blind eyes and heads in the sand. Unsettling? Maybe. But this is also our moment to “grow up”, take responsibility, and face the facts head on.

In my daily life, this already looks like picking up the phone more often to check the facts, versus trying to read between the lines. It means being a lot less “nice”, and knowing it’s okay if not everybody likes me. It means telling people what’s really going on for me (the people who actually need to know, anyway). And it means asking for what I’m worth, and not settling for less because I’m scared it’s all I’ll get.

None of it comfortable or easy. But if 2017 taught me anything, it’s that comfort and ease are earned by our willingness to get real, confront our demons, and actually ASK for the support we need.

>>>

“My Mystical Life” is returning as a weekly column, after I had to take a time-out to deal with the overall overwhelm of 2017. It’s good to be back. Here’s to manifesting abundance in 2018 and beyond!

HEALING FROM ABUSE WITH TRUTH AND YOGA

“To me, yoga is about deep, honest listening and truth-telling,” says Nina Endrst…who shares her story of healing from abuse for the first time.

I’m pretty fucking scared right now. I’ve never written about what I’m about to share, let alone shared these experiences with the world. It takes courage to be vulnerable and stand where we truly are, exposed. But it’s time to tell the Truth.

And the Truth is, I’m healing. Aren’t we all?

When I was nine years old, I was sexually abused by my babysitter’s son. I felt broken. Deeply ashamed and frightened. And for a long time, like many others, I remained silent, in fear. It took months for me muster the courage to even tell my parents—who were in the middle of a messy divorce at the time. Then I saw a Nick News segment on sexual abuse. Shit! What happened was really fucking bad, I thought.

And I felt even more guilty, the lump in my throat growing. I wanted to run as far and fast as humanly possible, but I was paralyzed. After what seemed like hours, I walked to my room, locked the door, and cried until I had nothing left. I was struggling with so many questions intertwined with intense emotions. Why did he do this to me? Why do they do this to us? I realized I had to talk.

I don’t remember much after that day, but I remember his parents called me a liar. After that, I just wanted stop talking about it, to forget it and go outside and play and try to reclaim everything I felt had been taken from me. So we back-tracked. Charges were never brought against him and I was once again, silent.

It took years to realize that this was not only the root of the profound anger and anxiety I have experienced in my adult life, but also would also prove to be the root of my subsequently developing Crohn’s disease. I can see now how my body and soul went into survival mode—how all the anger, sadness, and confusion went straight to my belly and rotted there, for years.

***

But in the beginning, I was a resilient kid and simply went on living my life. I had loving parents and an incredibly special group of friends (most of whom are still in my life) but deep down I remained a little girl, suffering in silence. I presented myself as tough and a little rough around the edges, when in fact I was incredibly sensitive and lost. When I got dressed in the morning, it was as if I put on an extra layer—a suit of armor to “protect myself.”

By 13, my hormones spun this carefully constructed regime out of control. My temper was explosive, and I made it my business to give my parents hell, regularly. It had all become too much to handle. One night, I took handfuls of pills and hoped that would be that. Thank god, it wasn’t. But the truth was, my soul knew I needed help and was screaming for it.

At 19 I had my first panic attack, on a plane. Everything, I’d spent my teenage years avoiding came rushing to the surface. My heart was racing, breath stuck in my chest, my belly as hard as a rock. Anybody who struggles with anxiety will know this feeling all too well.

Only, from the outside, my life looked pretty damn great by this point. I was attending college, I had amazing friends, and managed to maintain almost straight A’s alongside a busy social life. I was fucking happy! So where the hell was this coming from?

The Truth is, I had been avoiding my pain for so long, I didn’t even recognize that I had been living a lie.

***

At 21, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s (a chronic intestinal disease). I believe this was a direct result of the emotional and physical stress compacting in my stomach over the previous decade. I had tried to survive it. I had made it my mission to ignore the pain—to suppress it, push it down, deep into my belly. But here it had seeped into my cells, my tissues, my spirit.

No one knew the Truth about what had happened to me. My dearest friends only knew bits and pieces. I’m not sure I even knew the whole story, back then. Sometimes we have to make choices, and I had chosen over and over again not to acknowledge the shadows, leaving a patchwork of half-truths.

At 29 (my Saturn return) everything changed. I had a flare-up and became very ill, ultimately meaning I had to take medical leave from my job in fashion. I found myself facing some harsh realities that I couldn’t ignore any longer.

At this point, I’d been practicing yoga on and off for years, but it was in this moment that I started to live my yoga. To begin healing my body and spirit, by fully living my Truth. I left my job, signed up for yoga teacher training and took a huge leap of faith—inviting my heart to crack wide open.

The Truth is I gave myself ample time and space to be alone during that year. To cry uncontrollably. To talk, to listen, and to forgive. This is because, to me, yoga is and always will be so much more than back-bending and headstands. It is about deep, honest listening and truth-telling.

Through my practice, I learned that the way to the healing light is found when we sit quietly in darkness.

***

 

At age 31, I wake up every single day, grateful for my mind, body and spirit. The smile on my face is not permanent but it certainly is genuine. My mental and physical health are better than ever, as are my relationships with everyone—from my loved ones, to strangers I encounter on the street.

My story is that our stories do not define us. But I do believe everything we experience on our path—bright and shiny or painful as hell—is to lead us to where we are meant to be.

The Truth may not be easy to say, or to hear, but my god is it the only way to heal.

Nina Endrst is a yoga teacher based between Tulum and NYC. She creates a safe and nurturing environment for students to explore themselves honestly. Her vinyasa sequences are thoughtfully designed to strengthen and soften the mind, body, and spirit. She lives her yoga and is inspired by traveling to places outside her comfort zone both physically and emotionally. You can discover more about Nina and her work at Ninaendrstyoga.com, and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

MATERIAL GIRL, MYSTICAL WORLD: HAYLEY STARR

Painting rainbows, Chanel shoes and Conversations With God…Meet Hayley Starr, the high-vibe Hollywood artist on a quest to heal the world.

The woman has an extremely healthy obsession with rainbows (and we all know how I feel about rainbows) – just one reason we’re granting artist, designer and boutique owner Hayley Starr instant super-Numi status. And when she’s not creating a collection of candy-colored esoteric charms to help raise money to heal the planet, she can mainly be found party-hopping with Hollywood’s finest. Swoon.

Hayley’s boutique, The Quest, in Venice Beach has also become a hotspot for the local Now Age set, and is the venue for regular consciousness building classes, seminars and workshops (many of which you’ll find listed in our events section). Was this always her intention for the space?

“I originally opened The Quest in West Hollywood in 2004, when it was a collaborative installation space for allll kinds of artists to tell stories together through our work,” she explains. Closed in 2008, she re-opened in the current Lincoln Blvd location in 2012, where: “and it’s been a my studio and gallery, a store for my works, as well as an event space catering to all things magical…”

“Emotions” by Hayley Starr

Beyond the rainbowtastic artwork on the walls (a visit is not complete without a trip to check out the mural in the restroom), it’s also where you’ll find Hayley’s collection of hand-made, high-vibrational dresses – including her one-of-a-kind Astral gowns (see below). Even better, all the dresses are now available for hire.

Read on for a dive into the Mystical World of a way cool Material Girl…

Dress from The Astral Collection

:: MATERIAL GIRL ::

My label
If I had to choose I’d say Maiyet and Valentino. I don’t actually wear them, I just love what Maiyet stands for and I love what Valentino creates.

Cosmic print dress, Valentino pre-fall 20015

My shoes
I don’t really have the luxury of a shoe addiction as I have a size 12 foot – my shoes come as I’m able to find them! Back in the day when my family had lots of money to spare, my parents bought me Chanel shoes, as they were one of the only brands who made my size. I supposed those are my favorite, I have pairs that are 15 years old. As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a pair now ☺

Lace-ups, Chanel A/W 2015

My fragrance
Essential Faith Perfume Oil. Love it. Smells completely different on each person, and I love the way it melts with my pheromones.

Essential Faith Perfume Oil

My jewels
Mostly vintage. I love searching the Rose Bowl for cool and unique items. One of my favorite searches used to be for original Eastern Star, Jobs Daughter and Rainbow Girl pieces – clubs that are the female counterparts to the Free Masons.

Vintage Order of the Eastern Star ring

My pampering
I love a good massage. In fact, I should be more specific and call it body work. I don’t just want to loosen muscles, I want to get my energy moving and flowing.

My home
I live in Venice, California. My place is ‘tiny’, but very light, with 16-foot ceilings and a beautiful little private garden. Plantings and caring for my plants and flowers has become a favorite new pastime.

My food
I’m a healthy eater, and stick to lots and lots of veggies, salads and healthy homemade snacks. My newest recipe is for onion crackers, mixed with tons of raw veggies and made in a dehydrator.

:: MYSTICAL WORLD ::

My awakening
I’m assuming you mean when did I have mine? I was 17 in Paris. I’d decided I needed to get to the bottom of what I believed in, so I went to my favorite place with a bunch of books on the world’s religions and decided I was a ‘spiritual’. The book that opened my eyes was Conversation with God by Donald Walsche. What ‘God’ said in its pages rang deeply true.

The Complete Conversations with God

My sign
Capricorn sun, Capricorn moon, Taurus rising, and Venus is in Pisces.

My mantra
“There are zero mistakes” – and I have a Vedic one, but I’m not ‘allowed’ to share it.

My healer
Myself – and the countless healers of all kinds that I periodically see depending on my needs.

My reading
One of my best friends and I recently picked up the original Tarot deck while visiting Paris, and it turns out we’re INCREDIBLE readers! We have given nearly 15 readings over the past few days to friends in cafes, and event the reluctant were floored. Dopereadings.com…I already bought the domain 😉

My transformation
My Saturn return!

My mission
My mission is to allow God to create through me. I create dresses to heal the feminine. I write children’s books to empower kids. I paint and draw art to share inspired spiritual understanding. I make charity charms to amplify positive intentions and raise awareness and money for charities doing awesome work. On a personal level, I have made it my mission to embody my truth, my femininity, and my happiness.

Opal Charity Charms, $95 each (20% of sales go to charity)

Find out more about Hayley Star and her Quest, as well as details of dress hire and the Charity Charms collection, at Hayleystarr.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENA DUNHAM…HERE COMES YOUR SATURN RETURN

Turning 29 today, Lena Dunham is staring down the barrel of her Saturn Return. What kind of a cosmic shift could this mean for her – and her generation? Kimberly Peta Dewhirst checks out Lena’s chart…

Hannah Horvath by Lizzy Anderson via Behance.net

It’s Lena Dunham’s 29th birthday today – you know what that means? Time for Saturn Return to make its entrance and shake things up in this star’s life.

However, the planet of hard knocks hasn’t done a full turn of Lena’s astrological chart quite yet. In fact, 2015 sees Saturn retrograde, just like Mercury, so Dunham won’t have her official Saturn Return until late in November.

Still, it’s the run up to this heavy astrological transit that can be the most grueling part, and she could already be feeling the tremors…

So, what can she expect?

The Saturn Return is a notoriously testing time marked with a ‘letting go’ of the things that no longer serve us – that goes for jobs, relationships, living situations or anything that needs to change. We become aware of both our limitations and our inner strength, and this pushes us to commit and step up to the plate, or relinquish control, depending on our personal circumstances.

But we all have a Saturn Return.

It’s the time when we really start to take responsibility, looking hard at the situations we know aren’t working, taking matters into our own capable hands, now that we’re that bit more mature. It’s a natural shift into adulthood, and it’s at this stage we instinctively feel better equipped to take life more seriously.

Collage by Seana Gavin

Thankfully this happens all of its own accord, however many wouldn’t describe the process as ‘painless’. It can be HUGE for some people, with major milestones or events occurring roughly between the ages of 28 and 30. For others it’s marked more subtly, and it can often depend on how Saturn behaves in the person’s own natal chart – meaning how it is aspected, and whether its restrictive energies sit comfortably with the individual.

 

For example, someone with a strongly watery chart (lots of Pisces and Cancer) might not fare as well as those with personal planets in Capricorn for example, ruled by Saturn meaning more familiarity with this energy.

And I know what you’re thinking – what about that friend who still doesn’t seem to have grown up after 30? Don’t worry about him or her – Saturn will come round again at about 57 years old, so they’ll get another chance to learn those lessons!

Sadly we don’t have a birth time for Lena, so we can’t see exactly where the planet falls in relation to the overall dynamic of her natal chart. However we do know that she has an un-aspected Saturn (Saturn has no relationships with the other planets in her natal astrological chart – it doesn’t ‘trine’ or ‘square’ or ‘oppose’ the other planets), and that it’s also retrograding.

A retrograde planet indicates an awkwardness with the themes of the planet and Lena might struggle with Saturnian issues – she could be overly anxious about fulfilling her responsibilities, she could feel nervous in formal situations, she may have lacked real structure growing up.

Fauxscape by Brian Bell via Behance.net

 

The nature of the planet not connecting to the others in the chart points to a sense of disconnect, resulting in an overcompensation through work achievements, lots of self-discipline and a somewhat serious nature. Lena also has Mars in Capricorn, which emphasizes these characteristics again – no wonder the girl’s done good with her career!

Another factor that colours her Saturn Return is that it’s occurring in Sagittarius, the sign that rules higher education, philosophy, long-distance travel and truth. This will add a flavor to the type of experience Lena – and her whole generation -will undergo as their coming of age. Perhaps there will be restriction around international expansion, or she could be pushed to speak out about her principles, and forced to get more serious when she speaks up.

Throughout her Saturn Return (which is exact between 26th November and 4th December) Neptune in Pisces will be squaring Saturn, forming a 90-degree angle. The hard lines of Saturn could be blurred, there could be some scandal or a previous disillusion could be cleared up and set straight.

The positive outcome of this astrological transit is that with Saturn’s guidance we become an expert in the field where the planet appears, and the remaining forces in our lives feel far more solid on the other side.

Those born between November 1985 and November 1988 share this astrological hallmark – Saturn in Sagittarius – with Lena.

You can identify the position of your Saturn by creating a free birth chart and identifying the symbol that looks like a cross over a ‘h’- ♄

DARK FAIRY DELIRIUM: WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A GEMINI

We’ve just experienced a powerful New Moon in multi-faceted Gemini, gifting us an opportunity to embrace the quicksilver side of ourselves. Nadia Noir gives an insight into a life spent searching for “the other me.” Images: Bela Borsodi for Document Journal.


When I was 10-years-old, my mother took me to a bulk retail store full of tiny sausages, discounted toilet paper, seven kinds of hummus before that was a thing, and kitschy forms of entertainment. It was coming up on my birthday so she told me I could buy two things. Anything I wanted. I went for a box set of every Disney song ever recorded and a giant astrology book with hundreds of pages of words, pictures of animals, gemstones, and a diagram for drawing out your natal chart.

I remember turning to the pages that talked about Gemini and seeing birds and monkeys inked across the pages, “yellow” being a prominent theme color, and descriptive words like “superficial,” “mercurial,” “intellectual” and “social butterfly” describing the tiny little Gemini creature that was me. I took the book home and with compass in hand, painstakingly drew out my chart. Eventually, months later, I thought I had solved the puzzle that was me. I was done. Everything about me was illuminated. Or, so I thought.

From that point forward, I told people that I was not a Gemini. There were other parts of my chart that described me and I was not, I was never a Gemini. I was something else entirely. An astrological amalgamation of all the other things in my chart. I was the diplomatic, regal drama of my Leo Rising. I was the lurid, panty-scorching nymphomania of my Scorpio moon. I was the warm campfire-scented sensuality of my Venus in Taurus which was also my Midheaven which was also in my tenth house and one time an astrologer I met at 3am in a coffee shop said I am basically ruled by Venus, which means I was definitely not a Gemini.

Geminis were bubbly. They talked a lot. They didn’t feel. That was the main reason I decided I wasn’t a Gemini. I had feelings. Massive ones that swung me up into the air like a father tossing his child into a sun-drenched sky only to forget to catch the child. I was a broken fairy, wings crushed against the pavement.

And for years I walked in this haze of what I perceived as Scorpionic darkness, sometimes washed over with emotions so cruel and body-crushing that the manic-pixie-dream-girl that was my Gemini side couldn’t survive. She would either choke on saltwater tears, sleeping in bathtubs and reading Victorian erotica, or she would rebel by taking my Moon out dancing in full-on drunken nymphette revelry, a sheen of lascivious Gemini glee captured mischievously through the stoic mask of my Leo features.

I called her the “Party Slut.” She would die the next day in a wave of pity or guilt or hungover misunderstanding. Her glitter, scattered across the floor in impossible rainbows, would be swept up into a tiny bottle with a stopper that was to be cracked open for “emergencies only.”

The emergency came half-way through my Saturn Return. I was red wine drunk at my friend’s clothing store. We were listening to Mariah Carey and in our perpetual, drunken Thelma and Louise-ish state, I was finally understanding what love might mean and I knew one day I wanted to find real love and instead of just flailing and weeping naked in a series of hot and cold baths that lasted for hours like I would usually do, my supposedly Scorpionic shell cracked. What I uncovered was a changeling, a creature so fierce and fluid that only the power of the wind (which I’ve always adored) could whip the edges into place after a few nights of unashamed shape-shifting. What I uncovered (or stopped negating, rather) was my Gemini.

That pendulum swing of moods? That was pure Gemini. Dancing around the Maypole. Dry humping the Maypole. Turning the Maypole into a stripper pole. And then, when the Maypole stopped being amusing, smashing and burning the Maypole into a sacred effigy of youth lost. The lack of the supposedly quintessential Gemini charm? That was my Gemini side analyzing, surveying, prospecting, dissecting, and poking at people. Pinching their souls until they were bruised and raw. I was writing an eternal, internal book on everyone’s every movement until I could find the two sides to them. I wanted everyone to have two sides. I wanted to see in them what I could not find in myself. It was then they became whole.

All that time that I was denying my Gemininess, I was being a classic Gemini. Trying to find another piece to make me feel complete, to solve the riddle, to cease the shifting, from light to dark and back again. Every time I switched my style from ’60s girl group to ’50s beatnik to sequin-crazy glam rock goddess to paisley goth to raw vegan yoga girl, that was me trying to find my other half. Every time I took a shot of Patron or a shot of wheatgrass or burned sage or burned bridges, that was me trying to understand the other me.

My Gemini search engine was constantly spiritually downloading all the information ever over the yin-yang network of life. And, I am not alone in this. Gemini Stevie Nicks may be the White Witch, but she twirls around in black fringe and scowls at the world through her mystical lyrics. Everyone adores her. Gemini Prince is the Purple One; he also scowls at the world through his sex-laden, dualistic androgyny. At one point, he even denied his own existence and renamed himself (something I also always do.) And yet, everyone adores him. Morrissey is a Gemini and he’s like the King of Scowling. For some reason, everyone loves Moz. Angelina Jolie, the world’s favorite altruistic sexpot who once wore her ex-husband’s blood in a vial around her neck? Much beloved Gemini.

Danny Elfman, who is known for his childlike yet dark and twisted music? Everyone’s favorite creepy Gemini. All these Gemini celebrities and musicians walk on the shadow side of life, communicating their dazzling talents through the erotic or the wanton or the esoteric and they do it in a way that perpetuates that primal, intoxicating buzz of teen lust. And that’s why a Gemini is so adored.

Just like me, they dance deliriously to the sound of the pan pipes leading them into a forest full of flower-strewn orgies and sequin-studded shoes, consummate teenagers in a state of angst or ecstasy. Dark fairies or genies ready to grant your every wish or impishly antagonize you until they get bored and give up.

But that’s the thing I learned about Geminis, that I should have learned that day when I was ten years old, drawing out my birth chart and plotting to succeed at it no matter how much it confused me. A Gemini never gives up. They pick up the broken skeletal remains of their wings, glue them back together with blood and stardust, and wink at the next person who passes by to hitch a ride, get a job, make-out, or maybe if they’re lucky, all three.

Nadia Noir is a writer that likes black tea, blackberry scones, black cats, the smell of black leather, and the sartorial combo of black and gold. She likes to twerk naked until she’s drenched in sweat and make love to the sounds of psychedelic sitar. She still cries a lot and goes into fits of possessive Scorpionic rage, but her Forever 16 Gemini just pushed her off the bed and told her to shut up and get over herself. She just now got over herself and totally forgot what we were talking about. 

@nadianoir