HOW TO MARRY YOURSELF

Want to take self-love to the next level? Find out how to marry yourself with poet and activist Lisa Luxx’s guide to pledging your solo spiritual commitment …

In 2016, I married myself. Legally taking the name of my higher self, I became Lisa Luxx, had the initial of selfhood tattooed on to my ring finger, ‘I’, and vowed to always come home to me.

It’s been two years since then, a period of time that has burgeoned with political chaos, which continually leads us back to ourselves to question our position within the greater whole. So in 2018, I decided it was time to re-meet my commitment in ceremony, an act that I intend to re-visit every couple of years to steer the course of my affections for both myself and the wider world.

Here are my top tips on how you can hold your own marriage to your self, because 2019 just might be the year for that … 

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1// Pick a date that’s meaningful
When I initially planned to renew my vows it was due to be on the 7th of December. But I hadn’t had my eyebrows done in time and I figured if I’m not going to start turning up for myself now, what chance does this marriage stand? It wound up being on the 21st, which has been my favourite number since I was a young child. An auspicious one, at that. Actually 7 is a number I always associate with my ex; now I’m sure my lazy beauty routine was actually divinity intervening.

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2// Choose your witness/es
The idea to renew my vows in a ceremony came up during a therapy session. My therapist/life-facilitator is one of the few people who really speaks my language, so I asked her to be my sole human witness. However, I also had the four elements present to witness. I filled a very small corked jar with soil from my parents garden, placed two green candles on my Tata’s old gold candlestick holders, took a homemade smudge stick to bring forth the air and lashing of local Yorkshire water. I sat the elements on a mirror in front of me as I read my vows.

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3// Get yourself sexy
On the morning of my ceremony, I soaked myself in a rose water, almond oil, lavender, and sandalwood bath. Rubbed coconut oil into my warm skin. Danced with myself naked in front of the mirror before spritzing my fave Diptique perfume and slipping into my Dalmatian suit. Serve the best of yourself to you. Your beauty is for your pleasure first and foremost.

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4// Write your vows in the mirror
My vows were a mix of everyday bona fide daily lifestyle choices, such as always putting my actual body before my mind’s desires; ‘I will not finish catching up with Whatsapp’s or reading to the end of my page when the rumble comes, when the thirst coarsely reminds me of my physical needs.’ And commitments for how I’ll manage to make myself a better person in community; ‘I’ll actively practice unpicking and dissipating insecurities, as my duty to our world. So that I can see the world as it is, not as it could hurt me. So I don’t hurt myself through my fear of being hurt. So I don’t hurt others through fear of pain.’

While rehearsing my vows, I caught my reflection, laughed and said “hey, you’re not supposed to be hearing these yet” – getting so used to spending time with my reflection until I reached a point of comfort where I could have fun with it was a melting point.

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5// Say the vows in the mirror until it sinks in
Loving yourself in front of a witness won’t always come easy. It will feel awkward at times and you’ll be in head mode rather than heart mode. That is to say if you’re like me you’ll be feeling so self-conscious at times, you’ll notice you’re not embodying your words. To counter this I repeated a vow numerous times, looking directly into my own eyes in a mirror, until I felt what I was saying sink in. Take your time, speaking your promises to you until they become a physical sensation. The unexpected outcome of this is that now, whenever I’m feeling low or anxious, if I can find my reflection I can bring myself back to a place of loving comfort.

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6// Find a charitable cause to support
I requested wedding gifts from friends and family in the form of donations to The Syria Campaign, an organisation that means a lot to me. Marrying yourself is not an insular act, it’s about mobilizing yourself to be a better link in the chain of ‘we.’ A very overt way of setting that in motion from the get go is to encourage your friends and family to support your love for you and your simultaneous commitment to them all by making a donation to an NGO, delivering bags of shopping to a food bank, or volunteering at a local grassroots initiative for a day.

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7// Prepare for pain
I’d love to say that since the ceremony I’ve been doing exactly as I promised in my vows and ‘never forgetting how much I love to dance with you [me].’ But no, it has been uncomfortable. I cast my mind back to that day and sometimes feel an urge to delete it all from my therapist’s memory and mine; I feel shame, I feel pain. No good rebirth comes without a death. Let yourself feel that, let it exist within that day as much as the joy will.

In becoming the best of you, you are becoming a human complete; this is about owning your responsibility to the world through commitment to self-observation. See yourself without interfering. Don’t cling on to the parts that are breaking off.

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8// Consummate the ting
I have a practice that I like to call ‘astro-masturbation,’ whereby I make love to apparitions of myself. It can be me as I am, me with a better haircut, me in my trans dreams, but it’s always me. Sometimes there’s two of me, sometimes there’s three, four, five of me, but they’re all visions of me making love to me. I get to switch between giving and receiving endlessly and equally, and they’re the best orgasms I’ve ever had.

Lay down your favorite blankets, light that incense, and make sweet love to yourself while listening to Banks sing ‘I fuck with myself more than anybody else.’ My vows promised, ‘I will make love to you not because I want to use you as a tool of pleasure but because I love you, because you turn me on, because your body, my body, is my favorite body of all the bodies on earth.’

If you feel moved, Lisa asks for wedding gift donations to The White Helmets, unarmed volunteer rescue workers operating in Syria’s most dangerous zones, risking their lives daily to save the lives of others.

HOW TO BE A TIDE: A MESSAGE FOR CANCER SEASON

In the thick of Cancer season’s deepest feels, spoken word artist and Moon Club founding member Lisa Luxx’s exclusive new poem, “How To Be A Tide,” reminds us that our most tempestuous emotions are our beautiful birthright …

How To Be A Tide is a poem about the movement and motion of being woman. It’s a dialogue about finding our most supreme beauty in that familiar expansion and contraction. About how much can be gained from seeing ourselves as individual waves in the ocean of sisterhood.

One great purpose of poetry is to turn familiar aches into unfamiliar blessings; to subvert moaning into marvelling. The instability of a hormonal body could drive a person mad if they’re pressurising themselves to maintain a static constant. So for me, as an incredibly tempestuous person, I traversed this tidal metaphor as a bid for freedom.

I’ve been philosophically exploring the nature of beauty for the past year or so – what it is, what it does and why that might be – writing out my revelations and dreams. This piece is about taking ownership of one’s own beauty. When you no longer have the resources to flow outwards, that means your beauty – enriched now – is coming back home to you. – Lisa Luxx 

How To Be A Tide will be published in Luxx’s upcoming collection Breastmilk Martini, which is out later this year with New River Press.

HOLY F*CK: FINDING MY SPIRITUAL PRIDE

Spiritual and queer? It’s on us to create places to practice that reflect every shade of spiritual pride, says Alexandra RoxoPLUS 3 ways to create more inclusive healing spaces.

Some of my favorite summer memories were in my first Pride month in New York City in 2009. I was falling in love and my girlfriend was ecstatic to be bringing me into her community. It almost felt cliche to fall in love during Pride! Finally coming out as bisexual/queer, after years of closeted same sex encounters not deemed appropriate in Marietta, GA where I grew up, I finally was able to be the whole me.

During this time though I veered away from some of my spiritual growth. Not because I actively thought I couldn’t be in a lesbian relationship and also be spiritual, but on a subconscious level I had internalized this belief. Why? Because none of the spiritual traditions I’d studied said anything positive about same sex partnerships or sexuality. When I asked some of my yogic teachers about this, they frowned and avoided the question.

There also weren’t any spiritual leaders I looked towards who were openly queer. So in a sense, during those years I shunned my own spiritual devotion in order to express my true sexuality.

It is difficult to stay committed to a spiritual practice when your leaders and teachers don’t reflect your experience. Deepak wasn’t queer. Yogananda wasn’t. Marianne wasn’t. The tantra books I was reading all featured hetero couples so I stopped reading them. In spiritual circles or in yoga communities and retreats I felt out of place. So I nixed them for a while and made plant medicines and gay nightclubs my church.

Alexandra at her first Pride

As I matured however, I realized that just because Krishna and Radha aren’t gay, or Jesus and Mary Magdalene, that being queer doesn’t make me less devoted. I turned my attention inwards and began to focus again on my practice. Even though the retreats and spiritual communities I was in remained mainly straight and white, I stopped giving a fuck and showed up anyway without looking for a validation of my experience there.

When teachers assumed hetero preference as we discussed sacred spiritual sex practices, I would get hot and nervous and want to speak up. It always took me a moment to raise my hand and say I was bisexual/queer identified, but it was always worth it. And not only for me, but also so the teacher could consider including diverse experiences in the class.

On my path, I’ve also been deeply inspired by every other person who shows up to retreats, yoga classes, and ceremonies despite not seeing their experience reflected in the people there. Who raises their hand and stands up for their experience, too. Not to prove a point. But to feel seen. To begin to shift an outdated paradigm and create change. It takes a brave soul to willingly highlight your difference, but it is worth it—for each of us personally, and also as a collective.

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The below queer leaders and teachers are going one step further by shifting the face of wellness to open the gates for way more inclusion and love in the spiritual scene. Here they are offering some words of wisdom, spiritual teachings and personal experiences for you this Pride month …

BUNNY MICHAEL. @bunnymichael. They / them.
“When I think about it now, coming out queer at age 15 in Texas was probably one of my first spiritual experiences. It was the first time I had to trust what my heart was telling me, not what I was conditioned to believe in. It was the first time I had defined for myself what Love was. It was the first time I was truly afraid. Afraid to lose the people who were most close to me. It was the first time I questioned my worth. Being queer gave me an early insight that the spiritual path isn’t always easy … and it’s not supposed to be. It shows you your limits and how to break free of them. It challenges your foundations and builds a bridge to step into a peace within yourself. It shows you that in every space you walk into it is your responsibility to stand up for Love.”
Bunny is a healer, writer, musician, activist and artist.

SAH D’SIMONE. @sahdsimone. He/ his.
“A little residue of the collective prejudice [on being queer] still creeps up in my mind once in a while, and in the past it would leave me with a knot in my throat, followed by thoughts of guilt and shame around being myself. Now after 6 years of spiritual work I can see that unconscious reaction taking place and I can pause the downward spiral — breathe it out, and wish myself and everyone that could be getting hooked in this collective trauma to heal and be okay with being themselves so fully! Truth I stand by is that when we are truly ourselves without the baggage of shame that was passed on to us, we are actually inviting other people to be themselves fully too. And wow that’s a powerful spiritual gift you’re sharing with everyone around you.”
Sah is a gay identified meditation teacher and transformational coach.

DANNY BRAVE. @hellodannybrave. He/his.
“Spiritual practice allows me to get into alignment with my soul, and sexuality is my favored way of embodying that soul with the fullest pleasure and power. Being queer, as it turns out, means just being me. It means I don’t follow the ‘rules’ with gender, with relationships, with clothing, or with essentially anything. It means I am just me.”
Danny is a trans identified healer, writer and activist.

LISA LUXX. @luxxy_luxx. She/her.
“My sexuality IS my spiritual position: I’m daughter of our elemental earth, all my relationships are seasonal, and I desire women who view all levels of intimacy as a conscious practice where we can exercise our subconscious and unconscious paradigms, ultimately making every connection a space to grow in …”
Lisa is a queer writer and activist and poet living in the UK.

AARON ROSE. @aaronxrose. He/him.
“My gender & sexuality have been evolving my whole life. The more I heal, the more I develop my spirituality, the more me I become. These days I identify as a gay trans man. When I was 7 years old I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio and I always wondered: do I want to be him or date him? Turns out the answer is both!I feel deeply that there is a very specific reason that I am a man who experienced socialization & abuse as a child who the world saw as a girl. Those experiences have allowed me to grow up into a healed and whole man, with a deep capacity for nurturance and emotional presence. I am called to celebrate both the divine feminine and masculine within myself and lead from that place of integration.”
Aaron is a gay trans identified coach and leader who works on diversity and inclusion strategies for businesses and individuals.

Alexandra and Sah D’Simone

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Ultimately, it’s up to us to revolutionize the modern spirituality scene to become more inclusive, diverse, and celebratory of healthy sexual and creative expression, dialogue, and freedom. Regardless of your own sexual, political, or romantic preferences, here are a few things we can all do to make spiritual spaces more inclusive:

– No assumptions! You can’t assume someone is male or female or gay or straight. Ask! If they wanna answer then great, if not all good. Respect the boundaries.

– Take out gender referential language. You can still honor masculine and feminine of course. But saying directly “hi ladies!!” Or “hey guys!” Or “hey goddess!” Can hurt hearts if this does not speak to the experience of someone in the group. Claim what works for you.

– Update for the Now Age. If you’re leading or teaching from ancient texts consider modifying language for 2018 to be more inclusive.

Thank you to everyone out there stepping up, stepping out, shining bright, risking, shouting, asking questions, listening, and shifting the old paradigm of spirituality and wellness into more inclusivity and diversity to reflect the world we live in.

EDUCATING SYRIAN YOUTH, RETURNING WITH TRUTH

As the reign of terror wages on, poet-activist Lisa Luxx says she can no longer be silent. Join her journey to Lebanon to educate Syrian youth, and help pave the way towards new worlds …

Lisa Luxx by Suzi Corker

From the cradle of civilisation sprung everything you know. The context of every story you’ve been told. And for the past six years the cradle which birthed the youngest part of us, has been turning into a black hole. I’m talking about Syria. The seed from which society was grown.

Where a peace march for liberation has ended in a reign of terror. Violence so extreme, you wouldn’t think it could be contained in 2017. A darkness so thick, we could all fall into it.

In 2011, a peaceful uprising against an oppressive government began. The government responded with bullets. Since then, a country built on tolerance and cultural differences has become divided into many violent factions, each funded by a different foreign government with their own wicked intentions: Russia, Saudi, the US, and the rest are sat around Syria like it’s a chess board.

Citizens have, for a while, been cut off from basic human resources like food and water. Activists have risen, and been tortured. Those who have escaped, have lost everything they had and everyone they knew. The whole situation split into so many pieces, there is no longer a clear solution. And there are children from Syria, now, who know nothing but this. For it is the only ‘normal’ they have witnessed.

So complicated. So ‘far away.’ It is easy to turn our heads, run a rose water bath, and get lost in our comfort. But I believe the spiritual purpose of the Internet is to usher in global awareness. I believe we were born in these times because it is our generations’ responsibility to honour this. I also believe that safety is our most valuable asset (an asset because it can be taken away at any moment).

So every day, when I think about Syria, I having been asking myself: how can I share the wealth of my safety?

A couple of years ago, I was nominated for a Peace Poetry Award, and at the ceremony a Syrian refugee named Sleman spoke of his escape: “though my body is now here, my soul is still in Syria.” Every cell in my body became an eye, opening. A remembering awoken in my own DNA.

For I too am Syrian, on my birth father’s side. I was born and raised in England in an adopted family; happy, safe, comfortable. But I feel the shelling and screams of Aleppo, Homs, and my patrilineal homeland, Damascus, in my bones. And I hear the silence of the West.

So in December I will travel to Syria’s neighbouring country, Lebanon, to volunteer with refugee children and teenagers in Shatila. I will be teaching English and the arts. It’s not that I believe education can solve a problem like Syria. I don’t. It won’t. But I know that language and creativity can pave roads to new worlds.

Writer and translator Lina Mounzer asks if using writing to make sense of war “is the desire to know or the desire to be known?” It seems to me it is both. To translate your story through language and arts is to know your experience is seen, your truth valid, and that your heart has been heard.

Our governments here won’t lead the way. So why can’t we— the wise witches of the West— put our power into making those roads manifest?

While I am in Lebanon, I’ll be collecting the stories that wish to be told, and translating them into poetry that I can share back home. Behind the headlines are 23 million truths. It’s those voices I hope to give a platform to.

I believe that only when our eyes are open, can we begin to let the light in. That change will only come from direct action. That when faced with a black hole, we must hold hands. That together, our strength will dwarf that which we withstand.

Lisa will be volunteering in Lebanon with the support of a Gofundme campaign. Please support her and donate HERE. You can also follow Lisa’s journey on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

OUR OBONJAN TAKEOVER WILL BLOW YOUR MIND AND FEED YOUR SOUL

Join us on Obonjan island in Croatia for a mind-expanding week of music, magic and healing—PLUS take part in a special celebration of the Leo New Moon Eclipse …

When the people at Obonjan island in Croatia asked if I’d guest curate a week of cosmic workshops for their summer-long music and wellness festival, it was a HELL YES from me. Having heard amazing things about last year’s event, the whole Obonjan ethos is seriously … numinous. Yoga, meditation, and mind-expanding workshops by day … dance parties, ritual, and beachside Moon bathing by night. Thank you.

Even better, I got to pick my date—and knowing that summer 2017 was the backdrop for a super potent pair of eclipses, I chose the week of the August 21 Leo New Moon Eclipse (a rare second Leo New Moon in 2017) to bring the Numi magic. You may have heard even non-astro geeks talking about this eclipse, since it’s set to be the first total eclipse of the Sun visible in America since 1979.

This is crazy powerful energy for breaking free from limiting old beliefs, and planting the seeds of our future intentions. For us as individuals, sure, but with this New Moon Eclipse in a very tight conjunction with the North Node (or karmic destiny point of the zodiac), and with the Sun in a direct trine to game changing Uranus, the stage—or rather, the Universe—is set for nothing short of a REVOLUTION.

We’ll be celebrating with a special New Moon Ceremony featuring the all-star team of mystics and healers coming together for our Obonjan takeover—which we’ve dubbed Moonrise Kingdom. Read on for everything else you need to know …

DATES: Aug 19—23 2017

ACCOMMODATION: Is in luxury bell tents or air-conditioned forest lodges, and is booked per night (so you can stay as long or as little as you like). Rates start at €32.50 per person per night. Click HERE to check availability.

TRANSPORT: Fly into Split and take a transfer to the port of Sibenik. There is a regular ferry service to Obonjan island.

NUMINOUS WORKSHOPS: As well as our Leo New Moon Ceremony on Aug 21, I’ll be hosting two further workshops –

Dharma School (Aug 20)
“Dharma” is the ancient yogic concept of tapping into our life purpose as an act of service. Or rather, discovering the work that we were born to do, and our unique contribution to society. In this talk, we’ll discuss why in 2017 it’s more vital than ever for us to stay true to our authentic life path, how to channel our unique gifts, tools to help us stay the course, and how our yoga and meditation practice can be the gateway to truly doing our dharma. There’ll also be a Q&A with fun interactive exercises to help you discover your dharma.

Story Medicine (Aug 23)
When we come together we create community; and when communities share our stories with each other we weave unity. In every experience we share, there is a valuable lesson for someone—and listening in itself is a gift. It’s when our stories are heard that we become healed. In this simple yet profound exchange we find ourselves uplifted, connected and more inspired by our own lives than ever before. Expect to leave this ritualized open sharing circle feeling seen, valued and inspired to continue on your journey.

Full line-up below …

THE LINE-UP: Check out the incredible roster of Numinous collaborators bringing their magic to Moonrise Kingdom!

Jasmine Hemsley—Sound healing sessions with Sound Sebastian.

Shaman Durek—How to Harness the Power of the Quantumsphere, Traversing the Dark Period on Earth and Nature as Technology.

Lisa Luxx—The Fourth Brain Show, The Internet is Spiritual, Writing Wrongs, and Be Queer Now.

Shanua Cummins—Dream Life Hypnosis Salon, Wishcraft: Hypnosis for Manifestation, and Past Life and Ancestral Clearing.

D.A.X.—Ibiza DJ / producer will also collaborate on shamanic dance sessions (with Shaman Durek).

With yoga from Melissa Exner, fitness from Seb Eubank, and meditation sessions daily.

PLUS!!! Win one of 5 signed copies of Material Girl, Mystical World when you visit Obonjan for Moonrise Kingdom with The Numinous! To enter, simply repost the lead image from this post on Instagram and tag @Obonjan and @The_Numinous, along with the hashtag #moonriseonobonjan. Entries accepted through midnight Friday July 21*Winners will be asked to provide booking reference to claim prize, and books will be awarded on arrival at Obonjan. Applies to all bookings for accommodation on Obonjan Aug 19—23 2017. Click HERE to reserve your spot.

 

VOICE OF EARTH: A MESSAGE FOR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

Spoken word artist and Moon Club founding member Lisa Luxx, has a powerful message for International Women’s Day. Voice of Earth is a poem about sisterhood, mother nature and the history of womankind. Written at a Sisters of the Wild gathering.

IS MEDITATION DANGEROUS FOR MANIC DEPRESSIVES?

Following an experience that took her to the edge, Lisa Luxx asks is meditation dangerous for the more sensitive minds among us?

Some of us are so highly connected to the rhythms of the Moon, that much like the tide we are dragged by some greater force into depth and darkness. One would have thought the way back toward the surface would be through meditation; the New Age answer to everything. I certainly thought so—surely it will balance me back out and return me to my moorings. Until one prolonged Samantha mediation class led me to the lip of suicide.

Silence is best taken in tiny sips when the mind has a tendency for self-destruction. I know this after I glugged on a big cup of the stuff and wound up choking. What happened was, the class leader was taking us through a guided meditation; only at a certain point, I was instructed to stop following their guidance and continue with my own practice for the remainder of the class.

So now there’s me, free-falling. Surrounded by all these people in woven clothes, with clear eyes and a softness about their jaw. And me, whimpering in pain, crying abundantly, unable to make eye contact or speak, playing out my own death forwards and backwards in my head until I now how to execute it perfectly.

I survived thanks to a very sensitive friend who was in the class too and saw it all happen. Once I’d come ’round I spoke to another friend, also bestowed the gift of ‘manic depression’—and she told me that her teacher at the East London Buddhist Centre advised she only take half hour classes because of the uncertainty that lay in opening up. My quasi-spiritual therapist wasn’t surprised either; “you have to be so careful with meditation,” she told me, explaining how dangerous it can be to create space for unwelcome thoughts to take hold.

My experience was overwhelming. Depression has been sucking on me ever since I remember, but I’ve never felt such a sudden rush of pain as I did that day. It was a tidal wave. A brute force. The most certain and determined I’ve ever felt about wanting to pass through to the other side of living. During the time it took for the episode to play out, I existed within the visions of death, rather than the visions of death existing within me.

Ever since the experience I’ve been wary about meditating again. I’ve got myself in a really good, balanced place now but I daren’t allow space for that darkness to re-enter and consume me again. My pal won’t always be on hand to pull me back in from the ledge. I see now that this resistance is my psyche trying to protect me. But when I speak to Sumaya Fenton, my friend who is a practitioner of Rinzai Zen, she tells me: “The psyche trying to protect you is based on fear and ego. Any emotion you had was only temporary.”

She goes on to explain that sometimes these knock backs happen before a great break through. But I haven’t felt safe blindly continuing with the same practices I felt had almost killed me. However, each person walks their own path to enlightenment (in as many life times as it takes), and perhaps my pathway is going to start to look a little different.

A walking meditation. Photo by Olivia Sykes

“Wherever you’re at you’re still on a path. In Zen they talk about the ten stages of insight—the road map to enlightenment—and around stage four people have this experience of a big fear, or something that really knocks them back, but you carry on and focus less on the significance and meaning of that experience and more on the physicality of meditation,” says Sumaya.

For me, meditation right now cannot be about sitting in silence—but it can be about movement, like walking meditation, or other physical manifestations. Paying attention to each part of my foot in turn as it makes contact with the earth. Focusing on my breath and other practices that put the awareness in my body: “[in these practices] your mind is still opening up and expanding but you’re not watching your mind so consciously and fearfully.”

I also sit across from the Yorkshire moors, where my house is nestled, and interpret the patterns of the Sun/Moon-light across the hills mirroring my emotions. Finding synchronicity between my internal process and the greater external process. Which also works to remind me that my ups and downs are simply localized versions of the master rhythms of this universe.

Yoga helps. And I’ve also taken up life-drawing. You learn something about yourself from the way you depict another body. These have become my ways of getting mindful and finding peace within the almighty Oneness. Though I still often feel like I’m free-falling.

Sumaya says that the pressure in the West to do everything ourselves is what’s making for unsafe meditation practices. “Having a teacher is paramount. Pretty much as important as daily practice. The problem is systemic, Western capitalism only provides this culture of sticking plasters rather than giving the proper context of how and why to tread this path—which often comes from a long-term relationship with a teacher.”

It feels to me like in our society, this ‘one size fits all’ take on meditation is proving to sit a little baggy or tight on many of us. For the more sensitive minds among us, giving time to developing a relationship with a trusted teacher would also mean rooting ourselves in connectivity, by allowing our journey to be directed by the wisdom of another.

East London Buddhist Centre run Breathing Space, a course developed for people with depression, anxiety or other imbalances (‘gifts,’ as I like to call them). The course involves more personal attention from the teacher, more support. But even within their standard classes they aim to relate to people on a personal basis.

“Faith in humankind is what we need the most” says Sumaya. And if our practice begins with trusting another human being then we starting off in the arms of safety, which is ultimately what saved me. And why I’m ready to continue on my path.

If you’re concerned about whether meditation is right for you, then please consult with a medical professional.

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: CONNECTIVITY CONSCIOUSNESS AND A CALL TO SHAKTIVISM

Is it enough to “be the change we want to see”? This week’s call to “shaktivism” got me asking…

Photo by Natalie Reyes, Mexico

:: MONDAY ::
SO MUCH LOVE for the 90 beautiful souls who joined from all over the world for our Virtual Full Moon Ritual, with Alexandra Roxo and Elyssa Jakim. We cast a circle of love and light, got the lowdown on the current cosmic energies, did a journalling exercise to get into our deepest desires for the next Moon cycle, and sat in a guided meditation to light the fire in our solar plexus. The vibe was ELECTRIC—but above all, in a week where the divisiveness and separation in our world has been brought yet again to light with the UK’s deeply saddening vote to leave the EU (more under “Friday”), it was a small example / reminder of how, beyond politics, we ARE united, and how connectivity consciousness is alive and thriving. Our virtual Full Moon rituals will be happening monthly—watch our Instagram for links to sign up.

:: TUESDAY ::
A delivery from lovely Bri Luna (a.k.a. The Hoodwitch), who collaborated with artist Robin Eisenberg on this rad collection of pins. Um, could they get any more Numinous?! My fave is the palm tree crystal ball, the perfect talisman for, say, manifesting a move to LA?

Crystal Baller enamel pin, $10, The Hoodwitch

:: WEDNESDAY ::
When I got invited to a Full Moon comedy show, I really had no idea what to expect. But what I GOT was a night of whip-smart laughs from an all female line-up of comics, united by the theme of la luna. Hosted by Sara Armour and Jessica Brodkin, an actual life coach and energy healer, there was also an appearance from brilliant/hilarious astrologer Kristina Belich (who also managed to include some actual real life astro insights!) FUN. And gonna be a regular happening in NYC, so sign up for our newsletter where we’ll post details of the next event.

:: THURSDAY ::
Launch party at comprehensive health clinic The Ash Center for Rebecca Gordon and Stephanie Marango MD’s new book on astrology for wellness, Your Body And The Stars. Surprise / fascinating insight of the night—until only a couple of months ago, Stephanie had been living the wrong chart—i.e. not knowing her real Moon and Rising signs. She claims discovering “the truth” of her chart has given her a whole new perspective on her life path, and obviously we’re planning a tea date to discuss this in more depth. But I was also kinda distracted by the results of the Brexit referendum rolling in, which leads me to…

:: FRIDAY ::
“Shaktivism” is the name of one of my favorite new Instagram accounts, and it’s a term curator Jessica Fish describes as “spiritual practice + activism…the power of the divine feminine to heal, empower + transform individuals + society.” A huge theme for this year, since world events occurring in real time can make it hard not to feel like what’s the freaking point of yet another heart-opening guided meditation, when what’s really needed is campaigning and direct action.

But what does this really look like, in our everyday lives, in the now? What are the actions we as individuals can take TODAY to keep building towards the “consciousness shift” we hear so much about—the shift to a more open, loving and accepting global society? I’m asking because these are questions I am constantly asking of myself lately.

So what do the answers look like in my life? Constantly returning to the idea that a true “shift” has to happen one mind at a time (even if this means many minds awakening to the damage animal agriculture is doing to the planet / humanity after watching Cowspiracy, for example); consistently promoting the concept of self-healing as the way past limiting beliefs that foster feelings of fear, otherness, and even hate; and starting initiatives like Club SÖDA NYC to encourage people to stop using alcohol and other ways of numbing out to hide from the truth—that it is our human responsibility to be the change we want to see.

But I want to do more. Don’t we all? And so I want to hear from you too—what would you have a platform like The Numinous do?

If you didn’t already, check out the below poem by spoken word artist Lisa Luxx, which I commissioned to inspire the light-worker massive after it became evident Trump would win the Republican nomination. In it she states: “If politics show us the apex of hatred, there is equal measure in the depths of love.” In other words, if current events are shining a light on the fact this is, and by the laws of nature always will be, a planet of polarities—then in the name of the cosmic balancing act we all walk in this life, the time to embrace the path of the shaktivist is now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPNLoF4e3Kw

WHY IS GAY TANTRA SO TABOO?

Why is gay tantra so taboo? It’s time to call an end to the dogma of patriarchy and traditional gender roles, says Lisa Luxx

Credit: Concha on Behance

Here we are at a mountain top tantric yoga retreat on Mexico’s Pacific Coast. The love of all my lives is trembling in zen beside me. Class is about to adjourn after our first day and it’s been enlightening; a breath of fresh mountain air into the depth of my ‘yoni’ after a year of undiagnosed vulva pain and gender delusions.

Then the goddess leading the workshop goes and says something that brings the screeching banshee of psychosexual trauma right back. “Your homework is to think about having sex with the opposite sex.” A fellow dyke raises her hand and asks, “Why has it got to be the opposite sex?” The goddess, unmoving, diverts her eye line from the gays and announces stoically, “Because tantra is for man and woman.”

Oh. I wonder why no one ever told me that before. I’d e-mailed the school ahead to tell them, “My girlfriend and I would like to do the practical tantra retreat,” and they opened their pockets wide for us to dispense our money. But they never said, “Tantra is for man and woman.”

On our walk home my girlfriend expresses how uncomfortable she is to have been given these instructions, I argue that it’s probably okay, trying to diffuse the upset. And start to think about having sex with men. It plays out like a Kung Fu fight in my head until some element gets thrown through the stain glass windows of my eyes and I see in front of me that it’s way too 2016 for this kind of disheartening heteronormativity.

It seems, this super straight approach to tantra comes from the misled belief that Shiva and Shakti literally represent man and woman. However, I got mulling this over with my friend Stephanie (who’s written a book called Sex Drive on liberating her orgasm) and she introduced me to the cult icon Barbara Carrellas who wrote the first ever book on queer tantra: Urban Tantra.

“Shiva and Shakti, in Hindu tantric philosophy, are actually huge entities representing consciousness (Shiva) and energy (Shakti). When Shakti and Shiva had sexual intercourse it gave birth to the world. How this got confused with vagina and penis, I do not know,” Barbara explains on the phone to me, after I’ve returned to England.

Back at Hridaya in Mexico, Antoaneta’s teaching became more cracked and twisted as we went on. By the second day she had termed, and continued to refer to, the clit as the “little penis.” An offensive that landed like the shells of warfare in the trenches of my creed.

I’ve toured spoken word performances that educate women on the facts that may empower their clit and one facet of this is that the clit is not small; it can extend up to 9 inches within us. The clits of many straight women will be bigger than their partner’s dick.

The course leader – who began the retreat glowing in light and by now had morphed into this disheveled, haggered devil of a being – proceeded to laugh off lesbian sex as something that only happens in yoni therapy, not a real manifestation of love on this earth. We walked out. My girlfriend cried all the way back to our cabana.

The next day we bumped into another lady from the course who was quite distressed. She told us she too was gay and what we’d missed in the final day was a ceremony whereby many unknown men had entered the space. Men who had not been on the course but who were marched in to save any woman having to pair up with another woman during the sensual massage.

This lady we spoke to, who we’ll call Kirsty, had left in floods of tears, “I feel stupid because I don’t know why I came back to tantra. I thought it was worth giving another chance but discrimination is all I’ve ever experienced at tantra schools.”

When I spoke to my queer friends about my experiences in Mexico, they had all nodded solemnly and said, “Yeah, homophobia is a real problem in mainstream tantra.” And, that was the key lesson for me to learn; there is a mainstream tantra, which doesn’t have the social awareness that some of us expect.

For anyone who has ever experienced ‘energy genitals’ they’ll know that the line between owning a dick and a pussy can be smudged. I’ve had a dick before. Insomuch as I’ve felt the erection rise from my pelvis and enter my girlfriend, and she’s felt it inside her. I wouldn’t have had the linguistics to explain this before speaking to Barbara, who coined the term ‘energy genitals’.

“There is a position called Yab Yum where the person on the bottom could have a physical possession of a vagina and the person on top could have a physical penis. But the person with the vagina experiences a penis. Once they start rocking and holding eye contact the man feels he’s being penetrated by the woman.”

This is a genderless phenomenon. And for someone who exists in the grey area between genders and doesn’t always feel wholly assigned to the physical sexual design given unto me, tantra appealed because it focuses on energy rather than physicality. And tantra does exist as beautifully open as that. Barbara Carrellas runs her own courses which allows for magic to happen off-script.

For example, “One guy came to a women’s class because he couldn’t make it to another. So he was doing the breathing technique for women and he was flying just as far and as fast as any women in the room. To which I realised, there’s a lot to this I don’t understand and I think I’m being fed a lot of myths and lies.”

The Radical Faeries, once a gay male counter-culture network in the US is now opening up to all gender and sexual identities. Within their discourse is tantric teachings. The network has now spread globally too.

When one embarks upon a tantra course they lay themselves open and become ultra vulnerable, any teacher who is insensitive or who makes you feel invisible can emboss serious damage within you.

It’s important to find a workshop leader that is emotionally equipped to the complexities of sexual identity. When humans come together and open themselves up in a small space it’s bound to get messy and as my friend Jessie says “you just have to hope for a great facilitator”.

Jessie is part of women’s only tantric program called Shakti Tantra which she tells me is a great place to heal. But the divide should not be a must for us to feel safe. For any tantric workshop to serve its purpose it needs to be free of patriarchal dogmas. That doesn’t mean being free of men.

Ask lots of questions before you book your space on a course: will I get split up from my partner, will I have to be paired up with anyone I don’t want to, will I have to reveal details about my sexual past, and so on. If you don’t get the answers you’re looking for then keep searching for the right tantra course. There are retreats friendly to all persuasions, genders and sexualities (including polyamorous types).

Tantra began as a deliberately transgressive art form. It was the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll of its day. It was a political movement. So take these homogenous tantra fundamentalists with a pinch of salt and reclaim the art form. As Barbara says: If you want to practise the semen retention that’s fine but, don’t tell the rest of us that’s the only way to do it!

THERE MUST BE AN ANGEL: A SKEPTIC MEETS KYLE GRAY

Hipster angel whisperer Kyle Gray is on a mission to shift the perception around our celestial messengers. Will skeptic Lisa Luxx be convinced?

Angels. The first time I heard them spoken about in a serious yet non-religious context was two years ago. A friend carried a white feather around on the handlebars of her bike. She said if you found a white feather on your path it meant an angel was present. And I thought, what good is that?

Then I went to meet Kyle Gray, angel whisperer, and while my heart was open a strong gust of skepticism kept trying to slam it shut. We were at the Hay House conference where it seemed like everyone else definitely knew what angels were. But see the problem is, as much as I dig the vibrations of all these now-age ideologies, angels were always just a bit too wishy-washy and indefinable for my liking. So I was quite surprised by Kyle, once the youngest clairvoyant in the UK and now the hippest angel reader ever.

It’s easy to imagine an angel reader turning up barefoot, beaded from head to toe and floating in an effluvium of loose material and harem pants. But Kyle is mostly made up of tattoos, Vivienne Westwood and a good-natured pout. His soft Scottish accent carries an air of naivety, which acts as a sweet welcome mat into the temple of his experience.

His first successful angel reading was at a family party when he was fifteen years old. He has since become the fourth generation of psychic in his family, not exactly unexpected since his mother was summoned to a psychic night one evening when Kyle was six. “The psychic refused to see anyone until my mum arrived. When she went in, this lady sat her down and told her, ‘By the time your son is seventeen years old he’ll be known nationally for being the same as me.’”

But back to that first reading; “I closed my eyes and heard Destiny’s Child’s Survivor in my head.” Enter another almighty gust of skepticism. But I sit tight…and he continues; “I said, ‘if there is an angel present, thank you for revealing a message to Joe’ and suddenly I heard a voice saying ‘tell this man he is a survivor’. When I opened my eyes there was this great gold light, with black eyes, standing behind Joe…I almost shit myself!”

Kyle recalls how cool it was to discover that following their meeting, Joe went on to overcome a depression that had hitherto led him to five suicide attempts, each of which had failed drastically with an uncanny, almost divine, intervention. It turned Kyle on to the power of angel work; surrendering himself to becoming a messenger between the divine and the human. Although it meant he spent most of his teenage years listening to middle-aged women talking about their affairs, which he reflects was “way too heavy.”

But “Angels are always present,” Kyle explains to me. “Every space you look, there is an angel waiting.” And…jackpot! Without warning, I’m ten-years-old again, the moment I realize talk of angels and the like stopped making sense for me. I’d forgotten it had actually been a choice to stop believing in the “make believe.”

At age ten I was exploring things I wasn’t supposed to, like masturbating and smoking my friend Kayan Chan’s mum’s cigarettes. My grandma, who had raised me, had just passed away and I didn’t understand the distinction between angels and spirits. So ten-year-old me was so nervous that I was being watched by Grandma, I was busy talking myself out of that frequency despite having had what I now recognize as vivid experiences with the spirit world up until then. But now here’s Kyle Gray telling me that when it comes to angels; “its your job to turn up, not theirs.”

Ironically, Kyle explains, “when you work with angels they help you understand who you are, help you return to love and help you get away from the fearful stuff in your life. Angels are like guardians, these beings that forever love you, no matter who you are or what you do.” If I’d know that when I was ten, maybe angels could have helped me explore my grandma’s death in a healthy way, rather than running from it and pretending it didn’t exist (much like the angels themselves).

Kyle has been distracted a few times since we began talking by things happenings around me that I can’t see, but he insists that spirits are more distracting than angels – although angels do like to remind you of their presence. And for the record, if a spirit is a loved one in heaven who’s passed away, an angel, he says, is like a divine entity. “If God was to exist and God was to think, that thought would become an angel.”

So perhaps our angels are more like the thoughts we have. Thoughts that grows wings; our intentions. When Kyle first discovered angel power, he says had a lot of fun writing prayers to them. And though he speaks to angels and often hears a response, his practice still is the sacred act of writing prayers. At first this meant prayers to manifest new cars and free holidays, before he realized he could use angel power for internal growth. “Instead of asking for money to pay my bills, I started to ask how I could share more, how I could be more present. The rest of the stuff started to take care of itself.”

Kyle spent much of his adolescence wondering why he was special enough to see angels; “but when I look back now, it was just about the willingness to see.” We agree that it’s a frequency the majority of us are conditioned out of. I’m starting to get that the important thing about angels is having “the open heartedness to experience without judgment,” as Kyle Gray puts it with a nod.

With that, it’s clear that it was only me doing the judging when I was a kid, not the angels after all.

Angel Prayers Oracle Cards by Kyle Gray with be published by Hay House on October 6. His book,  Angel Prayers: Harnessing the Help of Heaven to Create Miraclesalso on Hay House, is out now.

Lisa Luxx is the editor-in-chief of Prowl Magazine.

@MGCK

@ProwlHouse

INNER VISIONS: A LESSON IN LUCID DREAMING

If turning on to your spiritual journey is often described as the process of “waking up”, lucid dream coach and Hay House author Charlie Morley explains that actually we can reach the same higher state of being by…going to sleep. He explains all to Lisa Luxx.

Lucid dreaming is the coveted state of being able to navigate your way around your dreams, like playing in the virtual reality of your own esoteric landscape. Which can be shed loads of fun. For example, Charlie Morley got seriously into lucid dreaming when he was 16, and revelled in the opportunity to have loads of sex and be awesome at skateboarding. But alongside the obvious kicks, lucid dreaming can be used as a technique for enlightenment and even as a preparation for death, while he says one of its key side effects is increased kindness in your waking life.

I sat down with Charlie at the Hay House Ignite event in London for a lesson in the hows and whys of lucid dreaming.

So how do we begin training ourselves for lucid dreams?
There’s no quick way to learn lucid dreaming, but there are ways to help your mind move towards the lucid dreaming state. The first is to start remembering your dreams. Keep dream diaries to work on your dream recall and start to get to know the territory of your dreams. Eventually you’ll begin to recognize that territory when you’re in it, and go “aha, I’m in a dream right now.”

What if you’re one of those people who never seem to dream?
Our dream world is behind a sliding door, not a brick wall. Those people who don’t remember their dreams simply need to ask for a dream before they go to sleep. Try repeating this; “I remember my dreams and I have excellent dream recall.” Present tense affirmative works like any good hypnotic suggestion, so say that right before you go to sleep and you’re going to have much more vivid dreams that night.

But the work we do to train ourselves is done during the day?
There are more difficult practices such as falling asleep consciously, and a lot of people try going straight to that but they miss the lazy man’s option. That is to train your mind in the waking state so that the mindfulness muscles are so strong and so flexed that when you go to sleep at night lucidity will dawn naturally.

Image: Karolina Daria Flora

How does working our mindfulness muscle translate in our unconscious mind?
It’s all about awareness and recognition. If you spend your whole day walking around going “could this be a dream right now? Can I see anything dreamlike right now?” you’ll do the same thing when you’re asleep.  In a dream you might ask yourself; “can I see anything dreamlike right now? Oh, there’s a pig flying through the sky! I’m in a dream!” And boom. You become lucid.

What is the relationship between lucid dreaming and dying?
Within Tibetan Buddhism, lucid dreaming is used as preparation for death and dying. It’s because of a concept called “the bardo”. A Sanskrit word meaning “in-between,” the idea is that don’t just die and are instantly reborn, rather you enter this in-between state, which occurs when the mind stream separates from the physical body at the point of death. The mind stream then flips inward on itself and experiences its own projection. Which is not dissimilar to what happens when we dream.

If you can train yourself to recognize the dream world consistently by having lucid dreams, then at the point of death you might be able to recognize the death process. So rather than going “aha I’m dreaming, great I can fly!” you can go “aha, I’m dead.” If you can have the presence of mind to realize you’re dead, you’re experiencing the mind beyond the limitation of the physical body, and as separated from the Self. So you’re experiencing the raw nature of mind. This opens up the potential for full spiritual enlightenment at the point of death.

Wow. So, what changes should we expect to manifest in our waking life through lucid dreaming?
It makes you aware of your own projection. So in a lucid dream you literally recognize that what you thought was real is in fact a projection of your own mind. Lets say that you’re having a dream that you’re the Queen of Egypt – you totally believe you’re the Queen of Egypt, right? In a lucid dream you recognize that you’re not the Queen of Egypt; you’ve woken up to the fact that what you believed was real is in fact the projection of your own mind. So you’ve trained your mind to see the difference between physiological projection and the reality of the situation. In the daytime state you might be projecting onto someone you’re in conversation with, arrogance for example, and then you’ll get this moment of lucidity. It’ll taste like a lucid dream – it’ll be a sudden realization.

Which makes you a more compassionate person I guess?
I spoke to my teacher about this and he said; “Soon you’ll get to the point where you’ll recognize a projection before you do it. This is when you really start to open up to compassion.” 99% of the times we’re mean to each other is because we’re projecting onto each other. It’s very rare to meet someone who is actually a nasty person. Usually it’s the fact that we’re so unaware of our projections that we project our darkness on to others without seeing it in ourselves. If we can start to see it in ourselves before we project, we start to open up to more feelings of kindness.

Is there a way to bring that clarity of the bardo into our daily life?
You’re talking about is that which isn’t constrained within this contained vehicle of me. And yes it is in us at all times. In a lucid dream you see that you’re everything. If I dream about you tonight, I know it’s not you, it’s my projection of you. So I realize that whatever you represent to me has come into my dream to communicate. If we can apply those same contemplations to our waking state we can enter that numinous space while we’re awake, while we’re doing the washing or going to work, or sitting next to the guy on the bus with BO. We can realize that this is available at all times, if we could only step out of the self and into something bigger.

If you can do whatever you want in a lucid dream and reach a higher state of being, surely waking life becomes dull in comparison…
Lucid dreaming helped me wake up to my potential and see how much more I could be doing with life. In lucid dreams you can fly through the sky, walk through walls and hug your demons. The next day is different. Because you think; “maybe I can fly through my own limitations, maybe I can walk through the wall of my own arrogance, maybe I could embrace the demons of my phobias or my relationship issues in the waking state.” The lucid dream becomes a rehearsal for waking life. It’s not that you want to stay asleep all day. After a lucid dream you can’t wait to wake up and put it into practice.

Dreams of Awakening: Lucid Dreaming and Mindfulness of Dreams and Sleep by Charlie Morley is out now on Hay House. 
Charliemorley.com

Lisa Luxx is the editor-in-chief of Prowl magazine.
@ProwlHouse

PROWL MAGAZINE: TALKING DIY CULTURE AND DMT WITH LISA LUXX

Lisa Luxx is the self-declared “preditor-in-chief” of new London counter culture ‘zine, Prowl. In this interview she talks to Ruby Warrington about; why you need your ego to succeed, why anonymity will be the greatest luxury for generation Z, how to prep your face for an ayahuasca trip and how switching off from technology felt like an “everlasting climax.” Among other, equally fascinating subjects…

Lisa Luxx by Olivia Sykes

SO HOW DOES A GIRL MANIFEST A WHOLE MAGAZINE THESE DAYS?
Visualization. I very much believe that I can get what I want by thinking about it enough…and I couldn’t take my mind’s eye of this project for a long time, like a song on repeat. I believe it manifested itself through that energy.

DECLARING YOURSELF “PREDITOR-IN-CHIEF” SURE TAKES SOME BALLS, TOO…
Luckily I have pretty big ego and, as an Aries, heaps of pride, and I really believed that what we were doing with PROWL was going to have some worth among the underground creative scene. I also talked about it a lot in the beginning, and as soon as I announce that I’m going to do something I absolutely will!

Jacob Escott

THE MAGAZINE OPENS WITH A MISSION STATEMENT: “LOVE EVERYONE, PLEASE NO-ONE.” WHERE DID YOU GET THIS AND WHY IS IT SUCH AN IMPORTANT AN IDEA?
Jacob Escott (the illustrator behind this and Art Director of PROWL) and I came up with this together, which seems to be the ethos of a whole generation of creatives making up this independent renaissance. The current DIY scene is very cooperative and collaborative, where love is the driving force behind success – perhaps because so many people understand the power of positive vibes nowadays. However, there is also a sense of revolt – we are writing, drawing and performing whatever we like because we have nothing to lose and no one to answer to.

Chenoa Gao

IS THIS WHY “COUNTER CULTURE ISN’T DEAD”?
As long as there are still people going against The Man, there will be a counter culture – and there has never been more to counter! Right now, humans still don’t know how to live alongside the mechanisms we’re putting into place in our everyday life. There’s also is a vast awareness of our environmental issues, the backend of a grim recession plus an increasingly more right-wing government to contend with.

SO WHAT WILL COUNTER CULTURE LOOK LIKE FOR GENERATION Z?
Anonymity. I mean, do you ever get that feeling you’re not being watched? People have started to react against our overexposure by hiding away. In fashion I expect to see a lot more facemasks, headpieces and full body outfits with less skin on show. Imagine space age Victorians. “Unseen” is already the trendiest thing to be now, think about all these hidden bars or the online Darknet, for example. As a result, the counterculture of Generation Z will be almost undetectable.

Marco Zaffino

ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES IN THE MAG IS ON “BEAUTY TIPS FOR ACID HEADS” – HOW SHOULD ONE PREP ONE’S TOILETTE FOR AN AYAHUASCA CEREMONY?
Well, you’re gonna be puking a lot on ayahuasca so the most important thing to do is tie your hair back in a loose bun. Give your face a good cleanse before you start and apply a tiny amount of non-oily moisturizer – like Neal’s Yard Yarrow & Comfrey Moisturizer. It will see you through the long trip but won’t get clammy. The white robes at an ayahuasca ceremony are also prone to washing out your complexion, so don’t wear any black around your eyes that might look spooky when smudged. When you come out of this you’ll want to look as good as you feel, so have a hit of blusher with you to bring yourself back to the land of the living zen.

AND WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST REVELATION YOU GAINED FROM RESEARCHING “THE ANTI-NET KID” (WHERE YOU WENT TWO MONTHS ON THE ROAD WITH NO PHONE OR EMAIL)?
When I reached Yosemite National Park, I found this open meadow and I let the wind lay me down in the long grass while the sun graciously bore itself upon me. As the gentle breeze passed through me I felt myself shift into a nook of harmony with my surroundings. My edges blew away and I existed as one with the universe – I could feel our energy coming together in the throes of one great everlasting climax. It was a real moment of enlightenment for me and the moment I wrote the poem that would become my first published piece.

Marco Zaffino

WOW. COULD WE ALL ACHIEVE THIS IF WE JUST SWITCHED OFF OUR iPHONES FOR A MINUTE?
This was the result of being without modern technology for two months and submerging myself in natural beauty. As a twenty-three year old I’ve never been in the moment. I grew up with mobile phones and the web always connecting me to times and places that didn’t exist in my immediate surroundings, so I’ve spent a lifetime being tremendously longsighted – thinking it made me stronger to exist further afield, when really I wasn’t existing anywhere wholly.

Jacob Escott

HOW HAS IT AFFECTED YOU IN THE LONG RUN?
Following that time in Yosemite, it became clear that if I continued to use technology the way I had become accustomed I would not be a fully fuctioning human being – unable to concentrate, meditate, explore or really touch things and mean it. I have since translated this lesson into conversations, work and sex – suddenly I was better at everything and enjoying it all at a much deeper level.

WHAT DOES THE NUMINOUS LOOK, SOUND AND FEEL LIKE TO YOU?
As an abstract and rather psychedelic reply to that, here are some notes I once wrote while lost in the beatific vibrations of a DMT trip…“The red and purple Amorphous Androgynous rain falls down on me but instead of wetting me it tickles. This is the summertime of consciousness. The cosmic vibrations of the universe and constantly in orgasm. It’s glorious; let yourself go to the spectacle of lights and colors. I’m in meadows of joy and light, listening to trumpets of energy and serenity. There’s a real language of cosmic love but words don’t exist here. I’ve been to the edges of existence and it’s glorious. I’ve been to the riverbanks of gentle being. I’ve watched the sun come up on the hazy valleys of our essential being. I’ve witnessed the willows weep as the seasons of peace pass on our insignificant magnificence.”

“Sweet Thoughts” by Jacob Escott

AND NOW I’VE READ PROWL, WHO SHOULD I GIVE MY COPY TO?
Pass your copy on to a real underground artist who could become one of the Predators or someone else who wants to join the party. PROWLHOUSE is about building a network of creatives and celebrating our worth, while marking the next big movements. Or give the copy to someone who might want to invest some cash into our next issue! Remember to write your name inside so as the copy gets passed on you will always exist with it and the next reader can look you up and make friends.

Issue one of Prowl magazine is available now. The editors encourage sharing. For information about events go to www.prowlhouse.info

 @ProwlHouse