HOW TO MARRY YOURSELF

Want to take self-love to the next level? Find out how to marry yourself with poet and activist Lisa Luxx’s guide to pledging your solo spiritual commitment …

In 2016, I married myself. Legally taking the name of my higher self, I became Lisa Luxx, had the initial of selfhood tattooed on to my ring finger, ‘I’, and vowed to always come home to me.

It’s been two years since then, a period of time that has burgeoned with political chaos, which continually leads us back to ourselves to question our position within the greater whole. So in 2018, I decided it was time to re-meet my commitment in ceremony, an act that I intend to re-visit every couple of years to steer the course of my affections for both myself and the wider world.

Here are my top tips on how you can hold your own marriage to your self, because 2019 just might be the year for that … 

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1// Pick a date that’s meaningful
When I initially planned to renew my vows it was due to be on the 7th of December. But I hadn’t had my eyebrows done in time and I figured if I’m not going to start turning up for myself now, what chance does this marriage stand? It wound up being on the 21st, which has been my favourite number since I was a young child. An auspicious one, at that. Actually 7 is a number I always associate with my ex; now I’m sure my lazy beauty routine was actually divinity intervening.

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2// Choose your witness/es
The idea to renew my vows in a ceremony came up during a therapy session. My therapist/life-facilitator is one of the few people who really speaks my language, so I asked her to be my sole human witness. However, I also had the four elements present to witness. I filled a very small corked jar with soil from my parents garden, placed two green candles on my Tata’s old gold candlestick holders, took a homemade smudge stick to bring forth the air and lashing of local Yorkshire water. I sat the elements on a mirror in front of me as I read my vows.

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3// Get yourself sexy
On the morning of my ceremony, I soaked myself in a rose water, almond oil, lavender, and sandalwood bath. Rubbed coconut oil into my warm skin. Danced with myself naked in front of the mirror before spritzing my fave Diptique perfume and slipping into my Dalmatian suit. Serve the best of yourself to you. Your beauty is for your pleasure first and foremost.

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4// Write your vows in the mirror
My vows were a mix of everyday bona fide daily lifestyle choices, such as always putting my actual body before my mind’s desires; ‘I will not finish catching up with Whatsapp’s or reading to the end of my page when the rumble comes, when the thirst coarsely reminds me of my physical needs.’ And commitments for how I’ll manage to make myself a better person in community; ‘I’ll actively practice unpicking and dissipating insecurities, as my duty to our world. So that I can see the world as it is, not as it could hurt me. So I don’t hurt myself through my fear of being hurt. So I don’t hurt others through fear of pain.’

While rehearsing my vows, I caught my reflection, laughed and said “hey, you’re not supposed to be hearing these yet” – getting so used to spending time with my reflection until I reached a point of comfort where I could have fun with it was a melting point.

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5// Say the vows in the mirror until it sinks in
Loving yourself in front of a witness won’t always come easy. It will feel awkward at times and you’ll be in head mode rather than heart mode. That is to say if you’re like me you’ll be feeling so self-conscious at times, you’ll notice you’re not embodying your words. To counter this I repeated a vow numerous times, looking directly into my own eyes in a mirror, until I felt what I was saying sink in. Take your time, speaking your promises to you until they become a physical sensation. The unexpected outcome of this is that now, whenever I’m feeling low or anxious, if I can find my reflection I can bring myself back to a place of loving comfort.

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6// Find a charitable cause to support
I requested wedding gifts from friends and family in the form of donations to The Syria Campaign, an organisation that means a lot to me. Marrying yourself is not an insular act, it’s about mobilizing yourself to be a better link in the chain of ‘we.’ A very overt way of setting that in motion from the get go is to encourage your friends and family to support your love for you and your simultaneous commitment to them all by making a donation to an NGO, delivering bags of shopping to a food bank, or volunteering at a local grassroots initiative for a day.

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7// Prepare for pain
I’d love to say that since the ceremony I’ve been doing exactly as I promised in my vows and ‘never forgetting how much I love to dance with you [me].’ But no, it has been uncomfortable. I cast my mind back to that day and sometimes feel an urge to delete it all from my therapist’s memory and mine; I feel shame, I feel pain. No good rebirth comes without a death. Let yourself feel that, let it exist within that day as much as the joy will.

In becoming the best of you, you are becoming a human complete; this is about owning your responsibility to the world through commitment to self-observation. See yourself without interfering. Don’t cling on to the parts that are breaking off.

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8// Consummate the ting
I have a practice that I like to call ‘astro-masturbation,’ whereby I make love to apparitions of myself. It can be me as I am, me with a better haircut, me in my trans dreams, but it’s always me. Sometimes there’s two of me, sometimes there’s three, four, five of me, but they’re all visions of me making love to me. I get to switch between giving and receiving endlessly and equally, and they’re the best orgasms I’ve ever had.

Lay down your favorite blankets, light that incense, and make sweet love to yourself while listening to Banks sing ‘I fuck with myself more than anybody else.’ My vows promised, ‘I will make love to you not because I want to use you as a tool of pleasure but because I love you, because you turn me on, because your body, my body, is my favorite body of all the bodies on earth.’

If you feel moved, Lisa asks for wedding gift donations to The White Helmets, unarmed volunteer rescue workers operating in Syria’s most dangerous zones, risking their lives daily to save the lives of others.

CHOOSING COMPASSION IN A CALLOUT CULTURE

A former social media “comment crusader,” diversity and inclusion specialist Aaron Rose is committed to moving beyond the “us vs. them” callout culture. PLUS Aaron shares 7 ways to upgrade your spiritual activism by choosing connection and compassion over fear …

Photo: Alberto Vasari

With 15 years working as a facilitator, educator, and consultant in the field of “Diversity & Inclusion,” my overarching mission is to heal our world’s generational patterns of separation so that we can all thrive as our authentic selves. Though always important, this work has of course taken on even more urgency in the escalating polarization following the 2016 election.

But in the last few years I have had to rethink some of how I was originally trained to approach this work. Namely, that relying on a callout culture of shame and dehumanization—however subtle or justified—as motivating tools of change, will never resolve the isolation and exclusion we ultimately seek to address.

Historically, my work focused on explaining the history of institutionalized oppression and practicing “dos and don’ts” for interacting with different groups. The premise—albeit often unspoken—was that we were there to help the privileged people understand how to treat the marginalized people better. Many people did indeed leave feeling more informed and better prepared to work with people different from themselves. However, when others would express feeling upset, confused, or silenced, I knew something was missing.

Many of my colleagues wrote this off as collateral damage—some people would just never get it, they said. And if a white man left feeling upset, maybe that was a good thing, because lots of people have been upset for a long time. I understood the logic, but this theory of social change felt incomplete to me. It’s a dynamic that has become all too familiar in social media interactions in which people are called out for offensive or exclusionary behavior and summarily “canceled” or rejected without any space for recourse or repair.

Back then, my life mirrored my work. I genuinely saw light and potential in everyone—and wanted to help us all understand each other better. But, truthfully, I usually meant, you (a person with historically more access and power than most) needed to understand me (a trans and queer person with experiences of violence and marginalization).

My approach was that of a pretty typical East Coast liberal. I would passionately launch into Facebook comment monologues, determined to get people to understand how they were hurting others, while distancing myself from people based on their presumably more privileged identities. My tone was condescending at best, and vitriolic at worst. I wanted people to understand the harm they were doing, and I wanted it to stop. Now.

Deep down, I, like so many others, felt scared and misunderstood. In most of the jobs I’d had as a young adult, I’d experienced harassment and discrimination—from prying questions about my transgender identity, to constant misgendering, to sexual harassment and violence—and the pain of my own marginalization kept me in a defensive stance.

I was quick to judge people’s politics, and even quicker to let them know about it—when separated by a screen and a keyboard. In most cases, there was little hope for redemption once someone had acted in a way I deemed oppressive, racist, heterosexist, transphobic, or more. But for all my accusations of division and dehumanization, I too was compartmentalizing people, saying things like “I could never be real friends with a straight guy … he just wouldn’t get me.” It hadn’t occurred to me yet that maybe I didn’t really get him either. I had never thought to ask.

While doing the work of humanizing historically excluded minorities, I had been unwittingly dehumanizing others. It seemed natural to view my work as an us vs. them quest to change some people’s minds on behalf of others. But I’ve come to understand that this approach will only continue to amplify the feeling of uneasy disconnection that characterizes so much of modern life, particularly online: the fear of being judged, the fear of being harmed, the fear that saying the wrong thing will result in excommunication.

The work that many pioneering LGBTQ people, people of color, women, and other historically marginalized people have done to legitimize the acknowledgement of our individual pain and institutionalized discrimination is important and invaluable. That kind of self-expression and community accountability is indispensable. But if simply being able to recite our personal and collective histories of oppression back and forth to one another with flawless terminology was going to create true progress, we would not be in our current accelerating state of political polarization and identity-based isolation. If we truly want a more just and connected world, we all have to go a step further.

Today, I no longer take to social media with fear and contempt to catalogue the ways in which others are letting me down. I’ve shifted my focus from what we’re tearing down to an approach that does not calcify divisions but instead catalyzes connection. This does not mean releasing people from accountability or never speaking up against injustice. It simply means setting the intention to treat no human being as if they are disposable, even if they are failing to honor our humanity. It means creating the conditions in which we can, as adrienne maree brown writes, “default to trust on a community level.”

Below, I share 7 ways we can be stewards of this paradigm shift:

Photo: Gwendolyn Rodriguez

1// Heal yourself to heal the world. Your work starts with you – owning your story, and releasing the blocks that stand between you and truly recognizing yourself in another. Regardless of your identities, our conditioned social autopilot reinforces the idea that connecting with people from different backgrounds puts us at risk in some way. For those of us (read: all of us!) who have felt minimized or unsafe because of who we are, leaning into even more discomfort can feel scary. But the more we connect with our own sense of humanity, the more we can extend that to others.

**Action Step: Take some time to meditate on welcoming feelings of safety. The more you cultivate a feeling of security within yourself, the more you will be able to welcome others into your world. You are safe, you are resilient, you are here to thrive and make space for others do the same. This meditation is one of my favorites. You can also check out my meditation series here.

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2// Redefine how you love. We are all called to love each other now as if our lives depended on it. Because they do. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke often about agape love as the driving force behind all his work. He said, “And this is what Jesus means … when he says, ‘Love your enemy.’ And it’s significant that he does not say, ‘Like your enemy’ … There are a lot of people that I find it difficult to like. I don’t like what they do to me. I don’t like what they say about me and other people … But Jesus says love them. And love is greater than like. Love is understanding, redemptive goodwill for all men, so that you love everybody, because God loves them.”

**Action Step: Practice silently blessing every person you encounter and wishing them peace and happiness. Your world will begin to transform before your eyes, from the inside out.

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3// Meditate for real. Meditation creates space between external stimuli and our responses, allowing us to act as we choose, versus on autopilot. In the same way that  we cannot change our world unless we face the truth of it, we cannot embody a new energy of love unless we retrain our nervous systems. Meditation is the path to this change.

**Action Step: Practice the Buddhist metta, or loving kindness, meditation. A common mantra is: May you be happy, May you be healthy, May you be safe, May you live a life of peace. Extend this blessing first to yourself, then to those you love, then to the world around you, and finally to the people who you find it hardest to love. This practice is a gift you can give yourself anywhere, anytime.

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4// Know our history, know yourself. We make it a lot easier for others to trust us and give us room to grow when we show up fully. In the context of identity and social change, this means understanding our world’s historical patterns of exclusion and violence. Acknowledge your part and make amends, for yourself as well as your ancestors. Understand both your access and power, as well as your history of pain and struggle. Recognize that we all have inherent biases, and be prepared to acknowledge them as they surface. Learn bystander intervention protocol and be ready for action.

**Action Step: What are your identities? Where do you fall toward the margins and where do you have more access? Explore Kimberle Crenshaw’s work on intersectionality to develop a deeper understanding of how our combination of identities shape our experience of the world.

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5// Release perfection, embrace integrity. We will all make mistakes along the way. Doing this work is about integrity: staying in alignment with your values and maintaining your sense of wholeness in the process. No one comes from the same perspective, and many of us do not have an academic foundation in theories of oppression and liberation. Despite our commitment to love, none of us will have the perfect word every time.

**Action Step: How will you respond when you or someone else messes up? What are your go-to phrases for communicating when a boundary has been crossed? How will you apologize and repair? Practicing ahead of time allows our brains to find the right words when our bodies are in fight or flight.

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6// Reframe callouts as opportunities for connection. When someone tells you your words were offensive, it’s easy to get defensive and push back. And to build a culture where everyone can thrive, we need to reframe how we perceive negative feedback. Humans don’t often take the time to let somebody know they feel hurt unless some part of us cares about being understood by the person who hurt us. Framed this way, each callout is a gift in service of our collective healing and evolution. Show the same investment in the connection by showing up to learn and repair together.

**Action Step: Practice responding to call-outs with grace and integrity. Pick your go-to phrases. Some options: “Thank you for letting me know how my words impacted you. I’m committed to building a community where everyone feels welcome.” “I hear what you’re saying and I will shift my words in the future. I’m sorry I used that hurtful language.” P.S. You really have to mean it, so align your energy with your words before pressing “share.”

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7// Redefine the personal vs. political binary. Who actually benefits from the idea that there is a difference between the personal and political? Certainly not you and me. Taking responsibility for caring for all life on Earth is the most profound investment we can make in our own self-care.

Action Step: How can you realign what is best for you as being what is best for all sentient beings? For example, is your meditation or intention-setting practice exclusively about your individual life? Set intentions not only for personal wealth and happiness, but for white people’s capacity to release our dependency on white supremacy, for example. For the renewing of our healthy relationship with planet Earth. For men’s commitment to repairing the wounds of the patriarchy. And for ongoing guidance about your role within the larger process. The support is there. You need only to tap in and ask.

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Aaron Rose is a writer, speaker, and diversity & inclusion coach. In his spare time you can find him waxing poetic about quantum physics, boy bands, and healing intergenerational trauma. Follow Aaron online at @aaronxrose and learn more about his work, including his upcoming healthy masculinity intensive for conscious men, at www.theaaronrose.com

A LOOK AT THE U.S. BIRTH CHART AND ITS MESSAGE FOR 2018

This July 4, Colin Bedell and Bess Matassa take a look at at the U.S. birth chart, as well as the message of the country’s 2018 solar return and its forecast in the tarot …

Photo: Mike Enerio

Human beings aren’t the only subjects gifted with astrological birth charts. The moment the ink dried on the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia on July 4th, 1776, the astrology of The United States of America was sealed … 

:: THE U.S. BIRTHCHART ::
Rising: Sagittarius // Sun: Cancer // Moon: Aquarius // Mercury: Cancer // Venus: Cancer // Mars: Gemini

At her best, the U.S. embodies the highest expressions of Cancer energy: deep love and protection for the home, and reverence for the family. With a lucky, Jupiter-ruled Sagittarius Rising, American spirit can be kind, contagiously optimistic, and generously available.

Pair these with an independent Aquarius moon, and you’ve got streaks of intellectual liberation and equality-seeking. After all, it’s important to remember that in 1776, a government for the people and by the people was nothing short of a radical political experiment that repudiated the aristocratic and monarchic political paradigms! Her Mars in Gemini helps enshrine this self-government experiment in words: “We hold these truths to be self-evident …”

Of course, the highest expressions of these energies don’t always manifest. From the defensive, hypersensitive Cancerian nature, to her “admit no wrong, thou-must-not-disagree with me” Aquarius gone dogmatic Moon, it’s on us to recognize these blinds spots and work to elevate her potential.

Looking at the current political climate, it’s clear this shadow work is far from done. But the U.S. has always been a nation of dualities. When the Founding Fathers wrote, “All men are created equal” in the Constitution, they themselves were slave owners.

But this country has been working to actualize her enlightened principles since the very beginning. As she completes another turn around the Sun, may we remember and commit to follow in the example of those who fought for abolition, who fought for suffrage, who fought for civil rights, who fought for peace.

With Sagittarius Rising and an Aquarius Moon, idealism and humanitarianism pumps through the veins of the U.S. The work is to recognize that seeking higher ground necessitates moving forward with utmost integrity, humility, and grace.

U.S. Tarot Birth Cards: Temperance & The Hierophant
The divinatory blend of energies that makes up the U.S. foundation in the tarot conjures images of road-tripping, public libraries, and the wide-open capacity to truly free our minds and let the rest follow. These two cards show the country’s cosmic mission is to tow the line between ideological leadership and overblown zealotry, and to learn exactly when to turn hardened beliefs loose to let them mix and mingle with a higher law.

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:: THE 2018 SOLAR RETURN CHART ::  
Rising: Cancer // Sun: Cancer // Moon: Aries // Mercury & Venus: Leo // Mars: Aquarius 

It’s a glowing cosmic BBQ for the U.S. this year, with the country’s Solar Return Chart emphasizing sparky Aries and glittering Leo energies. The message? To come at the unknown with a generously unguarded heart, and to check any unconscious impulses to use muscle to get the solutions we want at the door.
These fire signs demand creative integration of the masculine principle, and with Mars currently retrograde in electrically innovative Aquarius, the medicine is to radically renovate our concept of the “yang” in all its flavors. When can a push become the first move towards a hug? What would shift if every action came from a place of giving rather than merely doing for doing’s sake?
As Cancer hits the collective Ascendent, we’re also being challenged to dissolve borders like never before, and invite in nurturing of the self and others in service of creating the sanctuary spaces we’ve long imagined.
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U.S. Tarot Cards for 2018: The Fool & The Emperor 
This year’s U.S. tarot forecast poses questions about proportionality, and how the country takes up space in the world at large. The Emperor wants us to remember that acting as majestic protectors is most glorious when there’s nothing to prove and no trace of self-righteousness. And The Fool enters the collective consciousness to spark 180s and diving board leaps into new ways of being. The country is called to recapture an innocent sensation of free-wheeling exploration, where curiously releasing the need to know it all can reignite our sense of adventure about what the world at large can teach us.

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Colin is a literal Gemini Twin Astrologer from Long Island, New York, a passionate student of A Course in Miracles, and a graduate of Parsons School of Design. Discover more about his work at QueerCosmos and follow him on Instagram. 

Bess is available for private readings and astro-themed events. Follow her on Instagram and connect with her at bessmatassa.com

BEST OF THE NUMINOUS 2017

It’s been one hell of a ride. From crystal dildos and wombifestation, to becoming a spiritual activist, our Best of The Numinous 2017 charts a truly transformative year …

Photo: Chansereypich Seng

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1// Andre J on Self-Expression as a Self-Love Practice: Gender trendsetter and spiritual mentor Andre J shared how a lifetime of fearless self-expression has been the ultimate self-love practice …

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2// Use Your Birth Chart to Meet Your Shadow Self: In a year where we faced our collective shadow on oh so many levels, we learned how to come face-to-face with the skeletons in our cosmic closets …

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3// How to Master the Art of Wombifestation: With the focus on ways to shift to a more feminine paradigm, Latham Thomas revealed the real secret to the law of attraction …

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4// Date Night as Spiritual Practice: As part of her popular Holy F*ck column, Alexandra Roxo shared how to make date date a mirror for where you’re at on your spiritual path …

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5// Healthcare Vs. The Wellness Industry: As the wellness industry came in for yet more criticism, we asked: what’s worse, a broken healthcare system or the elitist wellness industry?

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6// What’s Your Asteroid Goddess Sign? As the Divine Feminine demanded to speak up and be heard, Rebecca Farrar showed us how to harness the full feminine force of the stars …

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7// 7 Things I Learned Starting a Crystal Sex Toy Company: Adding to the conversation about self-pleasure as a healing practice, Chakrubs founder Vanessa Cuccia shared the deep spiritual lessons of her entrepreneurial path …

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8// Shaman Durek Says Spirituality Is Just Common Sense: On a mission to put shamanism in the hands of the masses, Shaman Durek explained how loving integration of our darkest places unleashes the power to heal ourselves …

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9// Mooners & Shakers Anniversary Edition: As we celebrated our one-year mooniversary, we celebrated the loving, empowering, and fearless community that is Moon Club

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10// Did You Know You Have a Tarot Type? With Tarot becoming more popular than ever, Hayley Ed Houseman shared how to discover your tarot type, and start casting spreads that speak straight to your spirit …

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11// How the Patriarchy Made You Fear Goddess Day: A.k.a. Friday the 13th. Lucy North shared the real meainng behind this “spooky” day, along with simple ways to reclaim its feminine power …

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12// 9 Tips for Running a Spiritual Business: Teeing up her new “Ask a Spiritual CEO” column (launching Jan 2018), Maha Rose founder Lisa Levine shared how to mix some magic with your business mojo …

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13// Why We Have to Get Real About Diversity in the Wellness Industry: Fundraising for her new Harlem, NY, location, SHAKTIBARRE co-founder Corinne Wainer confronted the issue at the heart of her biz head on …

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14// Dreaming About Sex With Straight Dudes … When You’re Queer AF: With gender and sexuality politics front and center, what were her dreams about having sex with straight men trying to tell Wolf Medicine Magic?

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15// Why You Need to Discover Your “Ikigai”: With more people than ever questioning our contribution, Sushma Sagar shared the ancient Japanese art of Ikigai, or how to discover your life purpose …

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16// 8 Ways to Be a Spiritual Activist in 2017: In a year of protests and political resistance, Numi founder Ruby Warrington shared timeless insight into how peace begins with each and every one of us and the daily choices that we make …

EDUCATING SYRIAN YOUTH, RETURNING WITH TRUTH

As the reign of terror wages on, poet-activist Lisa Luxx says she can no longer be silent. Join her journey to Lebanon to educate Syrian youth, and help pave the way towards new worlds …

Lisa Luxx by Suzi Corker

From the cradle of civilisation sprung everything you know. The context of every story you’ve been told. And for the past six years the cradle which birthed the youngest part of us, has been turning into a black hole. I’m talking about Syria. The seed from which society was grown.

Where a peace march for liberation has ended in a reign of terror. Violence so extreme, you wouldn’t think it could be contained in 2017. A darkness so thick, we could all fall into it.

In 2011, a peaceful uprising against an oppressive government began. The government responded with bullets. Since then, a country built on tolerance and cultural differences has become divided into many violent factions, each funded by a different foreign government with their own wicked intentions: Russia, Saudi, the US, and the rest are sat around Syria like it’s a chess board.

Citizens have, for a while, been cut off from basic human resources like food and water. Activists have risen, and been tortured. Those who have escaped, have lost everything they had and everyone they knew. The whole situation split into so many pieces, there is no longer a clear solution. And there are children from Syria, now, who know nothing but this. For it is the only ‘normal’ they have witnessed.

So complicated. So ‘far away.’ It is easy to turn our heads, run a rose water bath, and get lost in our comfort. But I believe the spiritual purpose of the Internet is to usher in global awareness. I believe we were born in these times because it is our generations’ responsibility to honour this. I also believe that safety is our most valuable asset (an asset because it can be taken away at any moment).

So every day, when I think about Syria, I having been asking myself: how can I share the wealth of my safety?

A couple of years ago, I was nominated for a Peace Poetry Award, and at the ceremony a Syrian refugee named Sleman spoke of his escape: “though my body is now here, my soul is still in Syria.” Every cell in my body became an eye, opening. A remembering awoken in my own DNA.

For I too am Syrian, on my birth father’s side. I was born and raised in England in an adopted family; happy, safe, comfortable. But I feel the shelling and screams of Aleppo, Homs, and my patrilineal homeland, Damascus, in my bones. And I hear the silence of the West.

So in December I will travel to Syria’s neighbouring country, Lebanon, to volunteer with refugee children and teenagers in Shatila. I will be teaching English and the arts. It’s not that I believe education can solve a problem like Syria. I don’t. It won’t. But I know that language and creativity can pave roads to new worlds.

Writer and translator Lina Mounzer asks if using writing to make sense of war “is the desire to know or the desire to be known?” It seems to me it is both. To translate your story through language and arts is to know your experience is seen, your truth valid, and that your heart has been heard.

Our governments here won’t lead the way. So why can’t we— the wise witches of the West— put our power into making those roads manifest?

While I am in Lebanon, I’ll be collecting the stories that wish to be told, and translating them into poetry that I can share back home. Behind the headlines are 23 million truths. It’s those voices I hope to give a platform to.

I believe that only when our eyes are open, can we begin to let the light in. That change will only come from direct action. That when faced with a black hole, we must hold hands. That together, our strength will dwarf that which we withstand.

Lisa will be volunteering in Lebanon with the support of a Gofundme campaign. Please support her and donate HERE. You can also follow Lisa’s journey on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

MOONERS & SHAKERS: THE MOON CLUB MEMBER WHO DESIGNS HEALING HOTELS

Want to make space for your deepest desires? With her new signature offering, “Room Service,” Moon Club member Morgan Greenseth is using her interior intuition to design healing hotels …

Morgan’s design for the 11 Howard Hotel, Soho

A healing hotel is …  
“A hospitality space infused with intention and sprinkled with playfulness that allows guests to maximize well-being. Combining 12 years of interior design experience with feng shui principles and sheer intuition allows me to identify and create energetic shifts that bring the space into alignment with growth and dreams.

Everyone should have access to spaces that support them and encourages exploration and expansiveness. I use design as a an intuitive would use Tarot cards; I look to the aesthetics to tell the story of its owner’s deepest desires. 

The project started while I was assisting friends in upgrading their apartments. As I helped them move, purge, or add to areas of their rooms specific to bagua and feng shui principles, things shifted in their lives. While working with my mentor, Elana Kilkenny, I realized that I should be combining this with my other passion—hospitality design.”

Morgan’s design for The Rum Cellar, Bermuda

Spaces are energetically alive … 
“Spaces are living and we are directly affected by the spaces that surround us.

When it’s working well, design and structure help the flow and contain gentle guides that activate the space in specific ways. When a space does not have this thought or energy behind its birthing, we feel it. It’s a stagnant, almost “dead” feeling and people do not want to be there. We may not be able to point specifically to why we don’t feel comfortable or energized in a space, but our innate nature tells us.

Just as we change and grow as individuals, so should the spaces around us. By working with space to align with our intentions, we are utilizing another modality of healing. We infuse more of what we want and love, and more of our ability to grow in our environment, which helps thing manifest.”

The big mission … 
“My mission is to bring life and energy back into hotels—to transform them into living and healing spaces. What’s better than to fly off to vacation AND have a hotel room that aligns with your intentions? A space that assists you in furthering your dreams, while you play, swim, and renew.

We tend to focus more on ourselves when we’re on vacation, which makes it all the more important to stay in a space that supports us. In turn, having happy, healthy, healed guests creates wonderful community relationships between the hotel, the guests, and the locals. It’s a new format for a retreat-style stay, but where the guest is in charge of the length of time they need, whether it be a weekend or a full week.”

The Moon Club inspiration … 
“It’s inspiring to have a community of people that support you. Even if it isn’t in person, you feel it. It’s a space where I can ask questions or come to understand why I might be feeling a certain way.

I personally love working with the Moon phases and encourage my clients to purge, set intentions, and align their spaces with these cycles. The reminders of these phases and the circles that are provided are a wonderful way to bring about community and awareness, especially during these challenging times.”

Morgan’s design for The Rum Cellar, Bermuda

Discover more about Morgan’s spatial magic by contacting her here and follow her divine design inspo on Instagram. She also offers vision board services, Goddess circles, and private home consultations by request. **Want to start manifesting your own dreams? Sign up for Moon Club and join our tribe of cosmic change makers at Moonclub.co

HOLY F*CK: WHY WOMEN TRIGGER EACH OTHER & HOW TO DEAL

From public shaming to private comparison—enough is enough, says Alexandra Roxo. It’s time to figure out why women trigger each other, stop throwing shade, and turn those triggers to gold …

Photo: Alexandra Herstik

As women, we have been taught to compare ourselves to others women from the day we were born …

We’ve been presented with images of people we’re supposed to look like, dress like, love like, and work like. We’ve talked shit about other women and not only has it been acceptable, it has gained us allies.

And then we reach a certain age where we hold the shit talk in, because it doesn’t make us look good … but the shit is still shit. And it stinks.

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WHEN JUST BEING IS BEING “TOO MUCH” 

I’ve been triggering people since I was young. I was 12 when people started calling me “Slut” and “Whore.” Though I hadn’t so much as seen a penis at that time, I was expressing as a feminine being, and people were pissed. I eventually saw that the way I expressed myself made people uncomfortable, and so I stopped eating, changed my hair, and did just about everything I could to attempt to deflect the hatred and jealousy of other women.

But as hard as I tried to squash down my power, it always leaked out. I’d piss someone off and they would tell me I was “too much” or call me “Slut” again. Thankfully, at age 33, I have had enough therapy, sat in enough plant medicine ceremonies, and done enough inner work in general to know that it’s safe to reclaim and express the power I attempted to shove down for so many years. But it’s always a work in progress.

As an adult, I’ve split with business partners and besties because of triggering behavior—and received death and gang rape threats because of the creative work I do.

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WHEN WE DO OUR WORK, NOTHING REMAINS UNSEEN 

But now, because I’m more aware of EVERY fiber of my energetic alignment, when something even just feels slightly off, I can tell.

When we develop our witchy and magical powers and do our own work, nothing remains unseen. And negative thoughts or jealousy towards another person creates a hook or cord. An energetic connection. Now, more than ever, I can tell when I am triggering other women, and they are triggering me.

I can see the look in their eyes when I’ve said something too bold or too big or too sexy or too powerful. I know when I don’t hear from them for a while and they aren’t speaking up, that I’ve triggered the part of them that wishes they could. I used to avoid those looks in people’s eyes. They hurt too much. But now I won’t sacrifice myself at the altar of someone else’s shit.

And I know when I’m triggered too. When the tall skinny blonde women in my life bring up my own body issues from the past. Ones I thought I was over (ish). It’s like being an alcoholic and walking into a bar. Why do it? But I can’t just get rid of the beautiful blondes in my life because they unknowingly trigger me! So I keep working through it … 

Photo: Alexandra Herstik, Dress: Forgotten Feather Vintage, Styling: Haley Francise

FROM PUBLIC SHAME TO PRIVATE COMPARISON  

As adult women most of us no longer publicly shame each other. Instead, we compare quietly behind closed doors. Remember when we had private eating disorders and hated our bodies? Anybody? Now many of us are all talking about that, thank Goddess! But we still aren’t talking about the fact that we’re quietly judging each other all the time …  

It’s a wild world out there ladies and I know that the endless sea of triggers is never gonna end. But we CAN own up to our triggers, speak honestly with one another, and start CLEANING UP OUR SHIT!  

Digging in to why women trigger each other and what we can do about it, here’s what I propose …

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DO honestly challenge yourself to come clean. Pretending will get you nowhere! Recently, I felt very triggered after hanging with a friend. At first I thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t hang with her!” But I challenged myself to come clean. The next time I saw her, I spoke directly: “I felt very challenged the last time I hung out with you. It triggered the part of me that thinks I must hustle to be successful. I know this is all mine and it was a beautiful and painful process for me.” She received my words and it was so loving, and there was nothing ANYONE did wrong. FUCK YEAH.

DON’T lash out and say “You trigger me! Every time you complain about your weight and you wear a size 2, I feel awful that I’m a size 6 and I want to kill you. Fuck you!”

DO take space. When you need to, step aside, take a moment, breathe. Journal. And come back to the situation when you are grounded and in a productive place rather than a REACTIVE one.

DON’T use excuses about taking space to avoid necessary confrontations. Ask yourself, “Am I just running?” While I’m definitely not suggesting that you contact everyone in your life who’s triggering you, notice when you can’t ignore that heavy feeling inside. Instead of ignoring that text, DM, or email, craft an honest reply.

DO start taking responsibility for throwing internet shade. If you’re sending jealous, envious, or angry vibes, sometimes to complete strangers, it’s time to come clean. If it’s a trigger you can confront, then DO that. But if it’s not, unfollow, block, and stop engaging. If Kim K triggers you and you keep thinking hateful things about her bod, then stop looking at photos of it. When we start to learn energy work and ritual, we must take responsibility for EVERY little bit of our energy that gets thrown around. Whatever you send—even unconsciously—is going to come back to you three-fold.

DON’T try and “fix.” As women we LOVE to sit and “fix” each other. When you share a trigger with someone, or someone shares one with you, let it hang loose and messy and bloody for a moment instead of trying to solve it and make it neat and pretty and clean. For example, after hearing the statement “I am triggered by the fact you have more followers than me,” just sit and hold that energy instead of suggesting your fave social media strategist and marketing plan and sending 10 helpful emails. Feel the feelings together about what was said. Holding the words and trying to fix are two different things.

DON’T throw out a good friendship just because the person triggered you a few times. In the past year, I’ve been in multiple situations with women where our friendships have ended because we haven’t chosen to just sit and talk and face the triggers together. Instead of giving it time and space and facing the dark depths together, we have both run for the hills!

DO look at the why. “Were they intentionally hurtful? Or is them being them just triggering for me?” If you find the fact your new friend can walk into any bar or yoga class and turn all the heads in the room incredibly triggering, look at the part of you that desperately wants to be seen. Instead of thinking about her—spend some time on YOU. Work on how you can begin to turn heads.

DON’T let it eat you alive. If we walk away from friendships, and block people on socials again and again because we are triggered, we are walking away from incredibly valuable lessons about ourselves. But if we stick it out without acknowledging the facts, it will become an elephant in the room that becomes cannibalistic and eats the friendships. Usually in an epic and mythical way that warrants trips to psychics and energy clearings to clean up the mess! We don’t want that either.

What we need, if we want to revolutionize this reality, is a new era where vulnerability and truth have real value. It starts with us.

Want to make sure you move towards your fullest expression and don’t get lost in a sea of triggers? Join me in Moon Club for powerful communion and mentorship. 

MOONERS & SHAKERS: THE MOON CLUB MEMBERS MAKING WAVES

Get inspired by this month’s Mooners & Shakers, the Moon Club members making waves and fueling their passion projects!

HEBA TALLAH, LUMINOUS FEMME
“The medicine is in the remembrance. Cutting through the BS and the noise – going straight to the truth, and calling on it.”

The Project 
A Luminous Femme is a woman who has remembered that her greatest power, beauty, and strength, have been within her all along.

She knows that her trials and tribulations are opportunities for more self-awareness, growth, and compassion. And she jumps into this journey of deeper and deeper self-love and self-awareness with gusto and no apology. She cultivates a deep love and respect for her Femmebody, for the way she waxes and wanes, and for her inherent superpowers along the way.

The Medicine
I have been called here to anchor the Light and the Divine Feminine (in the Middle East, no less) and across all borders on Mama Earth. I feel the deepest honor and gratitude for carrying this calling. And such reverence for this life!

Being a woman (or a human, for that matter) in today’s world can feel so draining, confusing, and sometimes downright infuriating. Claiming who we inherently, truly are—and our connection to Source that is right here, in our heart space, in our every cell, at any given moment—is the fast track to inner peace. The medicine is in the remembrance. Cutting through the BS and the noise—going straight to the truth, and calling on it.

The medicine is also in knowing that the divine feminine that is within us all is awakening en masse—and she is not to be tamed, or quieted, any longer. I created Luminous Femme as a container to facilitate a woman’s return to her inner core, which is already perfect and whole, and to remember how to live from that space on the daily. Because there’s nothing juicier or more healing for the world than a woman in her divine feminine element!

The Birthing Process
It has been at least five years (more like my lifetime really) since I’ve had this luminous gift and voice pulsing inside, wanting to be expressed. This has meant healing myself and my blocks, my stories, and working through them all. It’s been knowing I had a message to share but having life keep throwing me curveballs to fill in all the blanks and help me get over whatever held me back in the past.

Discovering yoga at age 18, becoming a teacher 12 years later, and the journey it takes me on a daily basis is humbling and so fulfilling. My mat is my healer, my sanctuary.

The Moon Club Inspiration
It really feels like the coolest place to hang out on the web. I’ve been a Numinous reader for years and a lover of all things Moon related, which is a big part of Luminous Femme philosophy—cyclical living and connecting to the Moon phases.

When I see how this conversation is so normalized in the club, and the presence of all the women in the group who are so strong and healing and brave, it fills me up with so much juice and passion for this way of life. We’re all so connected and willing to do the work—to show up, to accept, and to self-realize. It’s not only deeply informative, it’s also so much fun, like a cosmic pajama party! It’s such an honor to walk this way with you all.

Discover more about Heba and Luminous Femme here. 

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Feeling the inspo? Read more about Moon Club here and become a member to start working your own Moon magic! 

MOONERS & SHAKERS: MEET OUR MOON CLUB MEMBERS

Meet this month’s Mooners & Shakers, the Moon Club members using their spiritual practice to fuel their passion projects!

ABA GYEPI-GARBRAH 
“This was a lesson in openness, patience and curiosity. It was also lesson in being present.”

The Project
Aba Love Apothecary is a handcrafted, small batch collection of plant-based skincare products and healing aromatics tailored for those who wish to experience the magic of plants in real life.

The Work as Spiritual Activism
I love this question. Thinking back to about my first experiences with aromatics, I made a choice to listen with all my senses and to let each essence unfold in their own time. This is how I began to create when formulating. I would approach each ingredient blindly and experience them without judgment. This was a lesson in openness, patience and curiosity. It was also lesson in being present.

It made me realize, wow—this is something we hardly give to others, sometimes not even ourselves. If we could practice the same openness, patience and curiosity with ourselves and others, we would be more connected to our uniqueness, our dynamism, all of our parts, sweet and not so sweet, and still value ourselves completely. This gave me a refreshed perspective, which I would gladly call my spiritual activism!

The Vision
I see Aba Love Apothecary becoming a beloved brand known for its artistry in plant-based skincare & healing aromatics. To continue to support and collaborate with other like-minded women owned businesses. It’s also my wish to engage small farmers, growers and distillers of organic, wild crafted and sustainably farmed ingredients in US and abroad.

The Moon Club Inspiration
The most beautiful thing about Moon Club is that it inspires me to show up for myself wherever I am at, plan by the cosmic clock, and go with the flow!

Shop the Aba Love Apothecary here, and follow Aba on Instagram.

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AMBER ADAMS
“Birth work is my calling. I have this ache in my heart that drives me forward.”

The Calling
I never planned to be a mother, so when I had a positive pregnancy test I felt my whole life crashing down. I had been preparing to move to New Zealand for a study abroad program in the fall, and having a human baby was definitely never something that crossed my mind. Despite my initial trepidation, I loved being pregnant and when it came time to give birth, I was relaxed and excited. I had never felt so powerful and divinely WOMAN as I did in those first precious moments after birth. Not only that, but because of my doula, I had felt for the first time in my life deep sisterhood and the magic of women helping women to give birth.

When my son was about a year old, my best friend and his girlfriend were in a similar situation, and I became their unofficial doula. She would come to me with questions and I had answers. I empowered her to follow her gut when choosing where to give birth and encouraged her to be an active participant in her process. I missed their birth, but three months later I attended my first birth as an official doula. After my second doula birth, I knew I wanted to be a midwife.

Birth work is my calling. I have this ache in my heart that drives me forward, pushes me through school, and keeps my feet on this path. I don’t think I could walk away from this work, even if I tried.

The Leap
I have been working at the customer service desk of a grocery store for the past 8 months. The pay is good and initially they offered enough flexibility that I could go to a birth here and there. Very practical…and ultimately very soul sapping. On February 18, I was lying in my bed with the simple intention of being very open, a sort of modification on a Moon ritual. There was a sensation of my heart opening and with it the thought: “Quit your job.” Along with the realization that if I truly want my life to become, then I must jump into the unknown.

The Future
I will be working toward the goal of owning my own birth center. My desire is to have a place where mothers of all stages can go for support, especially during pregnancy and postpartum. In the immediate future, I am expanding my birth doula practicing by adding childbirth education and placenta encapsulation to my services offered.

The Moon Club Inspiration
Moon Club has helped me by strengthening my connection to my spiritual self, as well as helping me to cultivate self care in my daily life. I love our community and how uplifting the entire Moon Club experience has been. My favorite part of Moon Club are the coaching events and live calls. I am always working on homework so having the calls helps me to get out of my own brain and connect in real time.

Discover more about Amber and her work at www.birthmindbody.com

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ALMA GROOME
“As I have started to awaken spiritually, I’ve felt drawn to look outside of the conventions I had limited myself to in the past.”

Alma Groome, with her oldest son Zachary

The Project
The Moon phase stained glass panels were the result of a friend encouraging me to make pieces that spoke to me. Six months ago I took a a class at a local glass crafters shop. I began with small sun catchers and little pieces but after a few months I began to lose the spark. On mentioning that, a friend asked me what type of projects I really wanted to work on, and I stated without a waver that I really wanted to do a big piece with all of the phases of the Moon. “Why don’t you then?” she asked. My only excuse was not having a window at home wide enough. She shrugged and replied “I have a window.” At that moment, a charge ran through me and it was all I could focus on until I had something on paper.

The Intention
The intention is simply to provide myself with a creative outlet, a way to express a side of myself I had long felt non-existent. I work in bookkeeping and Quickbooks consulting and consider myself a fairly linear thinker. But as I have started to awaken spiritually and explore the metaphysical realm, I’ve felt drawn to look outside of the conventions I had limited myself to in the past, to be open to new things and experiences, and to push my boundaries even, in those moments anxiety knots so hard in my stomach I can barely breathe.

Stained glass work, and this Moon phase piece in particular, has provided an outlet for me to let go and refuse to be bound by self-placed limits. It’s exhilarating, allowing myself to leap into things I never remotely considered as possible.

The Magic
Tonight, I delivered the phases of the Moon stained glass panel to its new home, hanging it in my best friend’s window and admiring the flow from left to right as the moon transitions from new to full and back to new again. The beveled edges caught the light brilliantly and projected rainbows of color. It’s an incredibly surreal to experience seeing something I created in another person’s home, to hear the excitement they have for it, and to know that it resonates with them on a deeper level than “that’s pretty.”

The Moon Club Inspiration
I knew in my heart the pieces I was being almost called to make were of the Moon phases, the triple Moon goddess, representations of the Divine Feminine, and sacred geometry. Being part of Moon Club, I have connected with a group of women who embrace these things as part of their path and inspiration. That connection has given me the courage to take hold of these ideas and go with them. In the past, perhaps I would have shied away from the challenge of being out of my comfort zone, but being a part of this community left me invigorated and inspired to go for it. I could not be happier with both the tangible and intangible results.

The Moon Connection
Recognizing a connection to the Moon has been a fairly new thing for me, and I’m very much still learning about what that can mean on a personal level. I’ve always felt drawn to the Moon often searching the sky for its position, phase, color, or the way the clouds might be playing against its reflection. Now though, instead of merely appreciating the beauty of the Full Moon, I’ve started to tune in to my feelings and emotions around each Moon phase, journaling to begin connecting the dots around each cycle. I look forward to continuing to expand my knowledge and deepen that connection.

Check out more of Alma’s stained glass work at her Etsy shop, and follow her on Instagram.

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Woah, heart swells! Discover more about Moon Club here, and get inspired to bring your spiritual practice out into the world!

8 WAYS TO BE A SPIRITUAL ACTIVIST IN 2017

Want to make a difference in 2017? Numinous Founder Ruby Warrington shares 8 ways to be a spiritual activist…

“Are you going on the Women’s March?” It’s the question doing the rounds as we come around from the collective anesthesia of the holidays and it all comes flooding back. The Trump regime. This is happening. Time to get back to work. Considering a lot of what I talk about on this platform involves the words “spiritual activism,” it may come as a surprise to learn that the answer from me is “no.” At the time of writing this I do not have plans to join the 200,000 + protestors who will march on Washington Jan 21, the day after the inauguration.

And it’s not because I don’t think that it’s necessary to vocalize our anger with the incoming administration. It’s not because I believe that humans mobilizing en masse doesn’t have any impact—just look at Standing Rock. But just as each individual birth chart maps a unique life path—a unique dharma—it seems to me that vocal protest is but one of many, many, many small and different ways that each and every one of us is being called to be of service in 2017.

When I launched our #TuneInPeaceOut event in September last year, it was because I had identified my big message for the world as being: PLEASE CAN EVERYBODY JUST STOP FIGHTING! WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM, FFS! “I guess I’m a massive pacifist,” I told the life coach who helped me boil it down. So it makes sense that when I think about my personal contribution going forward, it’s less about fighting against the system, and more about putting all my energy and ingenuity into creating a new way of seeing and doing things. A way that works for everybody.

Read on for 8 ways to practice spiritual activism in 2017…

1. DON’T HATE, CREATE. I equate creativity with spirituality, and so for me the term “spiritual activism” speaks to action that is an expression of our desire to create—create new conversations, create conscious businesses, create works of art that shake up the status quo, create babies who will grow to be future spiritual activists!

2. COMPASSION INTO ACTION. It also means taking action from a place of compassion and empathy—knowing that we are all connected. Like I said, we’re all on the same team—meaning, as humans, we all have the exact same needs (love, material security, freedom, to be heard and understood), and the exact same fears (pain, hunger, abandonment). Yes—even the President elect. Knowing this, the more our actions are about giving each other what we need, the better.

3. TEAMWORK. So, we’re all connected. Which means that working with others who share our goals is way more impactful that going it alone—as this creates a cosmic domino effect. Marches and protests are one amazing example of this! But also look at the impact of the online group Pantsuit Nation. Who’s doing stuff you see making a positive difference? Ask how can get involved.

4. CONSCIOUS COMPUTING. The Age of Aquarius has given us this amazing tool called the internet, which means we are literally all connected. Sadly it didn’t come with any instructions for how to use it to get everybody to stop fighting. It really is on us to a) figure out ways to use this tool to create good stuff, to get educated, to learn compassion, and to give each other more of what we need, and b) not get sucked into the shadow side of online life (misinformation, fear-mongering, and comparison/separation).

5. CONSUME BETTER AND LESS. In relation to spiritual activism, the message of conscious consumption is two-fold. Firstly, yes, every dollar you spend is a vote for the kind of world you believe in. Don’t believe in the objectification of women? Don’t buy fashion brands who objectify women in their ad campaigns! Obvious right? But we do it all the time without even thinking. Second, a lot of the times when we buy more stuff and eat and drink more stuff it’s a way to distract us from the stuff our soul came here to do. Consume less + feel more = get inspired to act (as uncomfortable as this can feel). Oh and all that money you spend on “stuff”? Could also be donated to causes and charities where it’s really needed.

6. SEE A SPIRIT FIRST. This is about seeing past what a person says and does, past what they believe, past what job they do, past what country or body they were born in, and looking for the human spirit underneath. And going from there. Also, making it your business to interact with people who are not “like you” on the outside, as a way to practice seeing the spirit on the inside.

7. RESPOND DON’T REACT. If the Donald has taught us anything, it’s how ridiculous and childish it is to go with your knee-jerk reaction to anything which could be perceived as a “threat” to you and / or your beliefs. Yoga and meditation are a physical way to build the spiritual resilience it takes to listen and digest first—making it possible to choose the right next course of action. The “right” action being the one that works for you, and for everybody else.

8. LISTEN. Everybody’s got an opinion. Everybody wants their opinion to be heard. And everybody says what they think will get the biggest reaction because everybody also wants their opinion to get liked on social media. But it can be the people with the quietest voices who need to be heard the most. Not to mention the least “likable” truths. So just be quiet and listen for a minute. Maybe ask a question, something along the lines of: what do you really need? This way, your next action can truly be of value to a fellow human spirit.

Read more about spiritual activism from our Moon Club founding members! We have curated a line-up of humans who are committed to creating good stuff for humanity, and who will be on hand to offer additional support and guidance to our members. Meet them here and read more about Moon Club and sign up here.