High on Dopamine beans, reunited with a favorite healer, and lighting a candle for Supreme Abundance this Taurus New Moon…
:: MONDAY :: I’m all about my dopamine beans! Which sounds like a 1990s rave drug, but is actually a high-grade supplement from “transformational food” company Sun Potion. An extract of Mucuna Puriens (a.k.a. the Velvet Bean, how lush), it’s said to improve brain function, elevate mood and sooth the nervous system (a.k.a. a Retrograde essential!). Containing a naturally occurring Amino acid, that transforms to Dopamine in the brains, Mucuna Puriens is also described in Chinese medicine as a “Jing tonic” – a tonic for the life force. And way more high vibe than a Gin Tonic, one of my old preferred mood enhancers, lol.
:: TUESDAY :: The Retro also bought amazing Kerri Aab back into my life today, who I first met a few years ago and who creates the MOST potent and perfectly blended custom flower remedies. But I forgot how equally uplifting and supportive the Skype consult alone with Kerri is (which is when you determine the flowers going in your blend). To me, this woman is the definition of LIGHTWORKER—a gifted healer who makes the darkness so much easier to navigate. Book a session: Seedtoblossom.com
:: WEDNESDAY :: Mercury Retro might have tried to keep it from me, but I finally tracked down my delivery from Mama Moon Candles—an amazing witchy apothecary based in the UK, which I discovered after I connected with founder (whose identity remains a mystery!) on Instagram. Hand poured, 100% vegan, and paraben free, I’ll be lighting up some Supreme Abundance for my New Moon ritual Friday…www.mamamooncandles.com
:: THURSDAY :: Doing final preps for our Mercury Rising event at the Standard, High Line this Saturday—including a chat with Ophira from the Astro Twins about our F*ck You Mercury Retro salon (one of three workshops taking place throughout the day). My big realization? Exactly how much I NEED this. Life has been intense this past couple of months, and I can’t wait to spend the day talking it out, soaking up some amazing cosmic wisdom, and doing some much needed emotional healing in the evening breathwork session. See you there!
:: FRIDAY :: Happy Re-birth Day Jackie O’Shea! One of our beautiful contributors shared with me this week how today’s Taurus New Moon marks one year since she left her old job in banking to pursue her dharma working as a channel and healer (a nicely cosmically aligned move, I might add). Which got me thinking about the concept of a “re-birth day.” Because just like we celebrate our solar return, and have anniversaries for our relationships, or began a new business for example, isn’t there also a date in all our calendars that marks the day we too took that one giant leap? For me, I think it’s February 18 2012 – the day I packed my bags and moved to New York City. Which makes this part of my journey Aquarius, with Gemini Rising and a Capricorn Moon – (OMG, favorite new game). What’s yours?
The Taurus New Moon is an invitation to claim what’s rightfully yours – one small step at a time, says Hannah Ariel. PLUS a channelled message from the Angelic realms by Jackie O’Shea
“If you stay close to nature, to its simplicity, to the small things hardly noticeable, those things can unexpectedly become great and immeasurable.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
It may take a substantial amount of time, but when a Taurus finally sets their mind to manifest a particular ambition; move over. Taurus, like a bull seeing red, does not let anything stand in its way. It knows its worth always, and hardly takes no for an answer. Sure, we can use the word “stubborn” to describe Taurus energy–but truth is, without Taurus, NOTHING would happen in our lives.
That’s right. Taurus is our innate capacity for pure PRODUCTIVITY; a persevering force of nature. It is the second sign of the zodiac after Aries—and Aries, though it has the power to act as a fierce spark of inspiration, cannot sustain itself. Taurus keeps life going, keeps it growing. As the fixed Earth sign, it sets things into place for the whole zodiac wheel to turn, for the whole year to come.
With a Taurus New Moon, we are put in touch with what we feel MUST happen next to sustain and improve on what has begun. Manifestation becomes a mission. This Taurus New Moon wants us to secure something we’ve recently found is VITAL to our unique existence. May it be our home, a relationship, a job, our source of income, or our health, everyone has something they value right now that needs special attention.
And it’s something tangible. Something specific. Taurus deals in real life. Not in your mind, not in your imagination, not in reverie—and on May 6th, this Taurus New Moon wants you to be here, now, with two feet on the ground, physically activating your energy and your emotions to empower true fulfillment on the earthly plane.
Fertile as ever, the Taurus New Moon also plays into a GRAND EARTH TRINE—which happens when three planets in the same element (in this case, Earth) form a triangle, feed into one another with ease. And you can imagine a grand Earth trine like a raw crystal quartz; you receive what you put into it—as if your intentions have an opportunity to focus, structure, transmute and transmit into a bigger picture.
Your subconscious craving for the stability (Pluto in Capricorn) you know (Sun in Taurus) you need (Moon in Taurus) is at work, in order to keep expanding your life’s story down to the last detail (Jupiter in Virgo goes direct May 9th everybody!!) Beyond Mercury in retrograde, beyond the mind’s doubts, things ARE moving, life IS happening.
Want to move what feels like a mountain? Here’s the trick; keep it simple this cycle. Ruled by Venus, part of Taurus’s relentless drive comes from the need to feel complete satisfaction. So take a moment, take stock. What is the one thing that you feel needs major “improvement” since 2012 (the last time we’ve seen major focus on Taurus energy)? The one thing you feel you’ve been disappointed with over and over again, the one thing you can’t seem to ever “get right,” that always appears to be needing your attention and, well, perhaps a shift in perspective (Mercury is retrograde after all, also in Taurus) Got it? This is the key to where to start moving, doing, putting in the work.
While of course we have the power to magnetically attract what we know we need in our heart of hearts, it is through our own efforts that we can really claim something that is “ours.” So no matter how basic the steps; carry them out, one by one, until you get a result in real life. A Taurus New Moon reminds us it’s okay to uphold a materialistic outlook at times—and this is one of those times. There are material gains to be made this cycle. You are on a mission to manifest something to your own satisfaction.
And speaking of “retrograde”—don’t be fooled into thinking you can’t act right now, either. Yes, we have five planets appearing in retrograde motion. In fact, having both inner planets (Mercury and Mars) and outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto) in retrograde is like TIME TRAVEL! As such, we are finding ways to gain back a part of our lives we may have lost our grip on.
We are finding answers to what may have de-stabilized us over the years. We are creating tactics, new plans of action based on what has yet to work for our future growth. ALSO because so much of this energy is rooted in the past, we are at an advantage. It appears we are getting a chance to secure something, fix something we may have thought we lost only to find it here again, staring us in the face, ready to be reclaimed and put back into place.
We all have Taurus somewhere in our chart—we all have a part of us that takes time to cultivate, through careful intention, year after year. Taurus trusts, quietly and patiently, that all things of beauty take their time to unfold—that every beautiful garden begins with a tiny seed. This is the part of us that puts its faith in the natural world, into all that can be grasped by the five senses, and understands that even just one strong step in the right direction is more valuable than one hundred in wayward motion.
As such, this Taurus New Moon deals with our ability to take charge of opportunities that have presented themselves to you over the years, perhaps time and time again, that you have yet to bring into fruition.
Look to the days leading up to the Taurus New Moon for clues to your manifestation game; how you actually feel about your capacity to manifest and get what you need. Neptune in Pisces made an aspect to the Sun in Taurus on May 1st, reminding that you have to believe in your own success story to see it come true. On the 3rd, the Sun in Taurus made a trine to Jupiter in Virgo reminding us that a dose of positivity goes a long way.
Above all, remember that Taurus is a self-sufficient energy—it is up to YOU to work up the determination and confidence to continue to work to get what belongs to you. It can be the smallest thing that has gone unnoticed all these years, and which this retrograde has brought right back into focus for you to get it right once and for all. Remind yourself that you know how to move mountains, one simple measure of action at a time.
:: CHANNELLED MESSAGE FOR THE TAURUS NEW MOON by Jackie O’Shea ::
There is an infinite supply of abundance for you to partake in, there is never a need to fear lack. Only when you perceive obstacles and barriers as blessings in disguise will you begin to acknowledge the full bounty of your life here on Earth. Each struggle is only arising for you to grow in appreciation and desire for that which you don’t currently have, making it sweeter when you do find yourself in moments of gratitude for that which is bestowed upon you in this lifetime.
You are infinite consciousness embodied in human form. Never doubt the significance of your own human incarnation. You are abundant beyond worlds of possibilities. There is nothing that could hold you back from learning your lessons with grace through the cycles of time and embodying all that you are in every moment of this waking human incarnation.
Never doubt or lose faith in the presence of your angels, your team of supporters, who are with you always. They will always respond when called to assist with your every need. All they need to interfere with the path you have chosen to live at any given moment is your permission.
There is no need to worry dear one, all is complete and holy and good. There is no need to fear the next part of the story. All is divinely laid out out and written by one hand, the hand of God, of higher consciousness, of infinite potential.
Freedom through self-discipline is the energy behind 5/5, says Felicia Bender…
The numerology of 5/5 offers a dynamic gateway turbo-charging the energy around any and all change we want to make in our lives.
“OUT with the old, IN with the new!”—is the siren song for this auspicious date.
In numerology, the number 5 is the freedom seeker. Its energy is all about progressive thought and action, fearlessness, and adventure.
On the flipside, the challenges this vibe brings can be fear, restriction, and self-sabotaging excess.
So when we have this portal of dynamic energy at our fingertips on 5/5, what do we want to do with it?
It’s a day to think about the constructive use of freedom—freedom through self-discipline. Anyone can run around doing anything they want whenever they want to, yet this isn’t true freedom—it’s myopic self-absorption.
In April we lost iconic and unorthodox artist Prince. In an interview he said that when he got into the music industry he was driven by the need for absolute freedom—freedom to say what he wanted, play all the instruments on his albums, and to have no constraints.
Yet he also said that he soon realized that undisciplined freedom led to decay—and that he knew that he needed a “spiritual mentor.” He suggested that everyone needs a spiritual mentor. He seemed to seek (after much “been there, done that”) the ultimate freedom only found by living and looking at life on this planet through a spiritual filter.
So what does freedom mean to you at this juncture in your life? What felt like freedom to you five years ago most likely doesn’t hold the same resonance now.
Do you want more money? More time? To get out of a non-productive relationship? To take your relationship to the next level of commitment? To take the plunge and change career or geography?
5/5 is a great day to energetically and actively commit to the change you want to become your new reality. And to then create a game plan. Visualize. See it—and more important than that, FEEL IT. If you don’t believe you can exist in your new reality, it can never materialize.
5/5 can be like an energetic elevator—yet you have to find the elevator, push the button, step inside the elevator, decide what floor you want to go to, push the button, and be ready to get off when you reach your floor. Oh, and the 5 is nothing if not fun, so make sure you find a way to enjoy the ride!
Mimi Young, founder of Shamanic skincare line Trimaran Botanicals, shares her journey and her process…
Occasionally, a brand appears on the horizon that just vibrates authenticity – and Trimaran Botanicals, a skincare line out of Vancouver, is one such offering.
Created by modern shamanic practitioner Mimi Young, it’s no surprise to learn that each and every product is interwoven with the energetic imprint of the spirit realm – to create a line that nurtures the beauty of the user, inside and out.
It’s been an honor to collaborate with Mimi on this piece, in which she discusses her connection to the spirits (“No different than a friend texting you – those little communications just happen…”) her products, and her process…
The Numinous: How did you originally connect with your plant spirits? Mimi Young: It happened by accident, really. For almost two decades I had been psychically smelling plants – smelling fragrances of plants (and other substances) that are not physically in my surroundings, and it took me a long while to realize that this was the spirits calling to me for recognition, to be heard.
I then realized I had the gift of communicating with these spirits when I was in Mexico. There was a tropical house plant where were staying – the leaves resembled a peace lily, although to this day I am not certain what species it was. I was in the bathroom, and I quite clearly heard the voice of the plant, “It would be so nice to experience this Mexican sunshine!”
So right away, I picked her up and put her on the deck, and it was crazy because then I kept hearing, “Thank you, thank you.” When I returned home, one of my house plants – a peace lily that had not flowered for years – was blooming with radiance. I interpret that as a beautiful token of gratitude from the spirit.
I can hear plants, animals, and crystals – and, as mentioned, experience clairscent-based communication from those realms; I perceive scents beyond the limitations of physical space and time. This morning I was talking to fern, dragon, the wolves… I wasn’t asking for this, I just held the space and it happened.
TN: And when did the idea for Trimaran Botanicals come up? MY: Pun intended, it happened “organically”! I was searching for a product to assist with reducing cellulite after having a child, and so I made myself a body oil. To add to its benefits, I blessed it to ensure not only its physical efficaciousness but its emotional and spiritual effects as well.
The Numinous: How do you create your products now? What’s the process? MY: I work with the spirits. I am physically the only human being when I am making the products, but I truly see it as a collaborative effort.
As a shamanic practitioner, I live my human life but the door to the spiritual realm, and to the plants, is always open. And the plant spirits (or animal, or crystals) will come to me and tell me things throughout the day. No different than a friend texting you – those little communications just happen. I mean it’s spectacular and beautiful, but it’s so much a part of my everyday that it’s normal for me now. A great example is that the plants just told me the other day to add to our current AURA COLLECTION, explained to me the functions of each new product, and even the ingredients I should be using!
In terms of filling orders, my process is both orderly and intuitive:
– I examine each order as if it’s a medical chart, as I allow myself to tune in to that customer’s order.
– I ask my plants what this person might need, be it an item from the line or a custom order.
– I always hold the product in my hand and bless it with that person’s name so it becomes “for” that person, but also adding that it’s also “for anyone else that might receive this product,” in case it ends up being passed forward – as a gift, in sharing, etc.
– I will also add to my blessing a mantra, an invitation for something like security, groundedness, self-compassion, etc. Sometimes I even write it down on my founder’s card to be placed in the shipment.
– Before it’s shipped, the order is placed in a nook in my studio – a space set up for my assembled inventory, surrounded with crystals and plants – to be charged with more intention, solfeggio music, sacred plants diffused in the air.
– Once it’s been charged, I pack it and anoint the package with sacred sage, asking that the order be delivered swiftly and without damage. So even the shipping process is energetically blessed. And I kid you not, all my orders end up being delivered far faster than expected!
TN: Do you take the same care sourcing your suppliers? MY: I have multiple suppliers. My requirements are their integrity as artisanal suppliers of the finest pure, wildcrafted, organic, botanical ingredients such as cold-pressed plant oils and first-distillation, solvent-free essential oils, but I the energy with the people themselves also has to feel right. All of my suppliers believe what I believe – I can quickly pass on any messages from my plant spirit to them, and it’s like everyday coffee break conversation!
I didn’t set out looking for shamanic suppliers, it just turned out that I attracted a network of suppliers who work the way I do: they speak with the plants, they too fulfill my orders with loving intention and anoint my shipments with sage for protection. They understand my process and share the same values. As such, my raw ingredients are always handled with love, and have not been sitting in a stale, cold, business as usual factory/storage space.
TN: How long have you been practicing shamanism – and what was your initiation into the tradition? MY: Becoming a shaman isn’t like choosing to become one and taking a course (although I understand that there are courses out there), it is a spiritual inheritance, and it is through my work with a seasoned shamanic practitioner that I have honed my abilities to connect in an ongoing way with the spirit realm. What I have learned cannot be learned in the Western definition of learning, it’s been through spiritual experience and touch.
My shamanic practitioner did give me the formal tools and language for me to remove my “self” from my “ego,” however. In doing so, my ability to honor my “unknowing” and to ask for guidance from the spirit world has given me the ability to go deeper into my journeys and collaborations with spirits, and to bring back into the physical world a deepened intuition, and heightened senses.
Ultimately, my “knowledge” come from the messages I receive in my journeying, and with the plants – being a shaman means listening first.
TN: What will women gain by approaching beauty from a shamanic perspective? MY: My hope is that the experience of using Trimaran Botanicals will bring a person’s inner beauty to the surface, as that is the purpose of the brand: alignment of deep inner beauty with the outer.
I also hope that Trimaran Botanicals is something that people can use to continue their own practice of connecting with themselves, of coming home to themselves, and of acknowledging that the plant world is interconnected with ours, so that they can truly connect with the outside world from a “whole” and holistic place.
TN: What’s your definition of beauty for the now age? MY: I often question why we need to define beauty. For example, the lightness we experience when we are one with nature cannot be experienced through a facial or fitting into a pair of skinny jeans.
That said, beauty to me speaks of internal balance. It’s being happy with yourself, where you fit in the world, and where you fit in your own skin. When we can nurture this and cradle ourselves, is when I think we can begin to understand that we are really, truly beautiful.
Here we are at a mountain top tantric yoga retreat on Mexico’s Pacific Coast. The love of all my lives is trembling in zen beside me. Class is about to adjourn after our first day and it’s been enlightening; a breath of fresh mountain air into the depth of my ‘yoni’ after a year of undiagnosed vulva pain and gender delusions.
Then the goddess leading the workshop goes and says something that brings the screeching banshee of psychosexual trauma right back. “Your homework is to think about having sex with the opposite sex.” A fellow dyke raises her hand and asks, “Why has it got to be the opposite sex?” The goddess, unmoving, diverts her eye line from the gays and announces stoically, “Because tantra is for man and woman.”
Oh. I wonder why no one ever told me that before. I’d e-mailed the school ahead to tell them, “My girlfriend and I would like to do the practical tantra retreat,” and they opened their pockets wide for us to dispense our money. But they never said, “Tantra is for man and woman.”
On our walk home my girlfriend expresses how uncomfortable she is to have been given these instructions, I argue that it’s probably okay, trying to diffuse the upset. And start to think about having sex with men. It plays out like a Kung Fu fight in my head until some element gets thrown through the stain glass windows of my eyes and I see in front of me that it’s way too 2016 for this kind of disheartening heteronormativity.
It seems, this super straight approach to tantra comes from the misled belief that Shiva and Shakti literally represent man and woman. However, I got mulling this over with my friend Stephanie (who’s written a book called Sex Drive on liberating her orgasm) and she introduced me to the cult icon Barbara Carrellas who wrote the first ever book on queer tantra: Urban Tantra.
“Shiva and Shakti, in Hindu tantric philosophy, are actually huge entities representing consciousness (Shiva) and energy (Shakti). When Shakti and Shiva had sexual intercourse it gave birth to the world. How this got confused with vagina and penis, I do not know,” Barbara explains on the phone to me, after I’ve returned to England.
Back at Hridaya in Mexico, Antoaneta’s teaching became more cracked and twisted as we went on. By the second day she had termed, and continued to refer to, the clit as the “little penis.” An offensive that landed like the shells of warfare in the trenches of my creed.
I’ve toured spoken word performances that educate women on the facts that may empower their clit and one facet of this is that the clit is not small; it can extend up to 9 inches within us. The clits of many straight women will be bigger than their partner’s dick.
The course leader – who began the retreat glowing in light and by now had morphed into this disheveled, haggered devil of a being – proceeded to laugh off lesbian sex as something that only happens in yoni therapy, not a real manifestation of love on this earth. We walked out. My girlfriend cried all the way back to our cabana.
The next day we bumped into another lady from the course who was quite distressed. She told us she too was gay and what we’d missed in the final day was a ceremony whereby many unknown men had entered the space. Men who had not been on the course but who were marched in to save any woman having to pair up with another woman during the sensual massage.
This lady we spoke to, who we’ll call Kirsty, had left in floods of tears, “I feel stupid because I don’t know why I came back to tantra. I thought it was worth giving another chance but discrimination is all I’ve ever experienced at tantra schools.”
When I spoke to my queer friends about my experiences in Mexico, they had all nodded solemnly and said, “Yeah, homophobia is a real problem in mainstream tantra.” And, that was the key lesson for me to learn; there is a mainstream tantra, which doesn’t have the social awareness that some of us expect.
For anyone who has ever experienced ‘energy genitals’ they’ll know that the line between owning a dick and a pussy can be smudged. I’ve had a dick before. Insomuch as I’ve felt the erection rise from my pelvis and enter my girlfriend, and she’s felt it inside her. I wouldn’t have had the linguistics to explain this before speaking to Barbara, who coined the term ‘energy genitals’.
“There is a position called Yab Yum where the person on the bottom could have a physical possession of a vagina and the person on top could have a physical penis. But the person with the vagina experiences a penis. Once they start rocking and holding eye contact the man feels he’s being penetrated by the woman.”
This is a genderless phenomenon. And for someone who exists in the grey area between genders and doesn’t always feel wholly assigned to the physical sexual design given unto me, tantra appealed because it focuses on energy rather than physicality. And tantra does exist as beautifully open as that. Barbara Carrellas runs her own courses which allows for magic to happen off-script.
For example, “One guy came to a women’s class because he couldn’t make it to another. So he was doing the breathing technique for women and he was flying just as far and as fast as any women in the room. To which I realised, there’s a lot to this I don’t understand and I think I’m being fed a lot of myths and lies.”
The Radical Faeries, once a gay male counter-culture network in the US is now opening up to all gender and sexual identities. Within their discourse is tantric teachings. The network has now spread globally too.
When one embarks upon a tantra course they lay themselves open and become ultra vulnerable, any teacher who is insensitive or who makes you feel invisible can emboss serious damage within you.
It’s important to find a workshop leader that is emotionally equipped to the complexities of sexual identity. When humans come together and open themselves up in a small space it’s bound to get messy and as my friend Jessie says “you just have to hope for a great facilitator”.
Jessie is part of women’s only tantric program called Shakti Tantra which she tells me is a great place to heal. But the divide should not be a must for us to feel safe. For any tantric workshop to serve its purpose it needs to be free of patriarchal dogmas. That doesn’t mean being free of men.
Ask lots of questions before you book your space on a course: will I get split up from my partner, will I have to be paired up with anyone I don’t want to, will I have to reveal details about my sexual past, and so on. If you don’t get the answers you’re looking for then keep searching for the right tantra course. There are retreats friendly to all persuasions, genders and sexualities (including polyamorous types).
Tantra began as a deliberately transgressive art form. It was the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll of its day. It was a political movement. So take these homogenous tantra fundamentalists with a pinch of salt and reclaim the art form. As Barbara says: If you want to practise the semen retention that’s fine but, don’t tell the rest of us that’s the only way to do it!
