PROTECT YOURSELF: IS MY LOVER A PSYCHIC VAMPIRE?

Be Here Nowish creators Natalia Leite and Alexandra Roxo share their experience fending off Vampire Lovers, PLUS 5 ways to protect yourself from a psychic vampire from Cat Cabral. Images: Pa-kwan Promsri via Behance.net

 

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“Vampire Lovers” is our term for lovers that come flying into your world, suck out your life force. You have no idea what’s happened, but next thing you know you feel like a fucking zombie and your friends are calling for an intervention. But these vampires are not really blood drinking creatures (although sometimes they might want to do that too). They are more like psychic suckers, energy drawers, seductive manipulators who can milk your energy, mess with your psyche, throw you off balance, and take away your power.

The people are also sometimes called “energy vampires” or “emotional vampires.” It’s an archetype we all can embody unconsciously at times, it’s just that some of us have learned to master it, using it as a form of manipulation and self-preservation.

Okay, so in theory we all know we should stay away from people that make us feel helpless or weak. But can also be SO SO sexy to allow ourselves to be completely overtaken by someone. We romanticize it, imagining Brad Pitt biting our neck and kinda wishing we were Kristen Stewart in Twilight, even if we’re aware of the dangers of completely losing ourselves in that person. We each had our fair share of experience dealing with people like this in our love lives and found ways to cope with it, which we will share in this post.

At the bottom, CAT CABRAL, a New York based alchemist and tarot reader who’s been peddling the tools of the witchcraft trade for over a decade, has shared tips on how to identify and protect yourself from Vampire Lovers.

Protect yourself from Vampire Lovers feature on the numinous

 

Natalia: Why don’t we start by talking about meeting vampires on Tinder. You know, like one night stands, and the implications of that spiritually.
Alexandra: You mean the wild post-breakup Tinder phase that I like to call my “Slutty Spring?”

N: Exactly.
A: It was super fun, but you also have to really work on protecting your psyche because you’re exchanging energy with people so fast in those situations. And then you’re like “Wait, what? I’m tied up in a stranger’s bed again?!”

N: Right. Because the minute that you open up and surrender sexually to them, your energies are melding and exchanging whether you like it or not.
A: If they’re holding a lot of darkness you might get in a bad mood the next day and be super grumpy, wondering “Why do I feel so depressed?” or “Why do I feel so anxious?” – psychic gunk you maybe picked up up from the random person you just had sex with.

N: So how did you personally protect yourself and create that boundary?
A: Well, I had a date with this guy and we had really good conversation at dinner and then I went back to his house. I was getting bored and wondering where things were going but I kept thinking “In theory this guy’s great. He’s a lawyer, he’s attractive and also weird in a good way.” When we were kissing he was like; “I could totally see myself with a girl like you, you’re totally the type of girl I would fall in love with,” and that started weirding me out. And then his penis wouldn’t work so he just wanted to go down on me forever and that felt a little too intimate for a first date, so I said no. I did not want some stranger that I had literally known for two hours to just go down on me. Like actual penetrative sex would be less intimate because there’s a barrier of rubber.

protect yourself from vampire lovers feature on the numinous

N: That’s really sad!
A: Depends how you look at it. Anyway, so then I lost my phone, slipped on the rug, and hit my neck on a shelf, and at that point I was like, energetically, “THIS IS WRONG.” My intuition was like “Get out! Leave!” Not because I thought he was going to be a psycho killer,it was just an energetic thing. He texted me the next day, but the energy, all the way from the initial hook up to me hurting myself was just saying “no.” It took me a minute to shrug off that icky energy. And he ended up texting me like 100 times over a period of three months and I had to block him. So I guess he was a crazy.

N: I guess it’s not so relevant to Tinder hook-ups, but I learned a few things to do after a bad relationship to release that person’s grip. I had one ex who was a total vampire – her energy was so intense. After we broke up, I would just like go to the bathroom and every time I took a shit I would think about her leaving my body, like in my poop. And it really worked! I also associated her with “shit” and so that became suddenly funny and meaningless. It quickly released the emotional grip she had on me.
A: That’s amazing!

N: When I was like having a lot of one night stands, I would sort of protect myself by being the one who was in control of the situation. But there were several times I would just like leave feeling a little icky because of that person’s energy.
A: What we’re talking about now is people that seem like amazing beings, but underneath they just want to suck out the good vibes. We both dated people who did that.

N: So what do you think it the first sign of a vampire?
A: They divulge too much too soon! They tell you their sob story straight off the bat.

N: Yes! On our first date my ex is already telling me how she doesn’t get along with her family and whatever health condition she’s got.
A: Health conditions, financial burdens…

N: They think that playing a victim will make you feel sorry for them.
A: But actually, it’s trying to force intimacy too quickly. The next thing that they do is tell you “YOU’RE THE ONE.” Really quickly. I dated someone like that. We were walking down the street and she looked at me and said: “What if you’re the one?” But I actually have proof she says that to many, many girls.

protect yourself from vampire lovers feature on the numinous

N: Yeah. At what stage?
A: We had maybe been on three dates. And I fell for it. My heart was beating fast.

N: This girl I dated was immediately doing things to me that I had found out that she had done in multiple relationships in the past. And telling me that she had never felt like this before and how she was going to marry me. I was really freaked out at first and didn’t buy it. To which she’d be like: “Why are you not trusting love?” She would make it seem like there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t open to receiving this “deep everlasting love.” She eventually convinced me to give in and surrender to her. Then finally when I’m like, “Okay, I’m going to give you my heart. Here’s my heart.” That’s when she bit me.
A: That’s the dark manipulation side of the vampire lover. It’s the hook and bait. They like pull you in by telling you that you’re the one, and then they start fucking with you. It’s so crazy. It’s a formula. The worst part is…I don’t think they even know they are doing it!

N: They just want your heart, and they’re unaware that they’re manipulating you to get it.
A: I think that those are the people you have to try to watch out for the most because energetically you may fall apart after them. It took me a while to get my “vampire lover ex” out of my life. She would call me in the middle of the night. Then she would text and say “Let’s be friends.” And then when we tried that, out of nowhere she would text “I want to have a family with you.” It got creepy. I just had to block her completely. But two years later I saw her, and she was kind. People change and time does heal.

N: Yeah, after mine ended but it really took me a second to find myself and feel strong again. Taking some time out to be alone, or changing your scenery can be helpful. For a while I was scared of bumping into her, thinking she could tip me over just by looking at me, and not because I loved her or wanted to be with her, just because she had that power and I knew it worked on me for a period of time.
A: So alright, now we’ve shared, let’s hear how we can avoid falling into unhealthy patterns with lovers…

5 Tips On How to Protect Yourself from Vampire Lovers (and vampire energy in general) by Cat Cabral

protect yourself from vampire lovers feature on the numinous

1) Have a Daily Spiritual Practice: Be it daily meditation, chants, or prayer, some form of daily spiritual practice will not only ground and focus your own energy, but it will open your levels of awareness, sharpening your own intuitive skills. With deeper awareness, it’s harder for vampires to enter your space and it’s easier to spot their unbalanced and often charming yet ultimately harmful nature.

2) Sea Salt Baths On the Full Moon: An old and soothing tradition that will help cleanse your ethereal body. Once the Moon is full, she begins to wane, an excellent time for cleansing and removing negative energies, known and unknown. Fill your bathtub with sea salt and lunar herbs such as lavender and wormwood. Imagine all negative energies, people or situations being absorbed by the water and then going down the drain. If you only have a shower, you can pour the salt and herbs into a bowl, wash as usual, and then pour the mixture over your body following the same ritual/visualization.

3) Glinda’s Crystal Ball of Protection: Remember in The Wizard of Oz, how Glinda sails away in her pink protective ball of light? Before you leave your house, imagine at the top of your head a small globe of white light illuminating at first your third eye, then your throat chakra, moving down towards the heart center, solar plexus, lighting up your reproductive zone and continuing down to your feet, so that you are completely engulfed in healthy protective white light. Imagine this light expanding into an invisible sphere that nothing negative can penetrate.

4) Symbols of Protection: Every culture has unique and powerful symbols to ward off negativity such as the pentagram, crosses, hexagram, ankh, Hand of Fatima, Runes, the list goes on! Find one that has a special meaning to you and either wear it or carry it daily.

5) Banishing Rituals: Letting go is often hard when you’ve been under the spell of a particularly seductive vampire. Create a circle with salt around you and set up an altar for your ritual. Take a white figure or plain candle to represent the person and carve their name into the candle. Dress the candle with oil for banishing (olive oil can also be used). As you light the candle, watch as the wax drips down and imagine the person disappearing from your sphere of influence. Write a letter saying everything you’ve been thinking, saying goodbye, never wishing them ill will, but clearly stating that they hold no emotional/spiritual/physical power over you, that your paths are clear and will never cross again. When the candle is almost finished, burn the letter and then discard of the ashes and wax somewhere far from your house or bury it in the ground. Burn sage, cedarwood or frankincense to cleanse the space and move on with confidence.

Read more from Cat Cabral here and check out Natalia Leite and Alexandra Roxo’s hit web series Be Here Nowish.

How have you learned to protect yourself from a psychic vampire? Share your tips in the comments below!

BEHIND THE VEIL: A HALLOWEEN RITUAL BATH

Amplify your psychic protection with this bath time Halloween ritual, says Deborah Hanekamp. Images: Zsuzsanna Dofka via Behance.net

Halloween ritual bath on The Numinous

As we enter the season of the winds, the veil between the spiritual worlds becomes thin. A time of strong psychic awareness, we open to valuable teachings from Great Spirit and our personal intuition. Energetically charged people and places, as well as lingering spirits, also become very apparent to the spiritually sensitive. For this reason, now is a time to work with extra psychic protection.

Dear One, understand this; the highest form of protection is awareness. And that love is the vehicle to awareness; become more loving, become more aware. Fear is the opposite of love, fear distracts us. But if in the midst of fear we can use our breath to go back to love and awareness, we are already so protected.

The below Halloween ritual bath and practices are tools to strengthen our connection to love, to awareness, and therefore protect us as we journey into winter.

:: THIN VEIL ESSENTIALS ::

  • Black Tourmaline, a crystal of high psychic protection, is invaluable during this time. Carry a small piece in your pocket or as a piece of jewelry. Sleep with Black Tourmaline under your pillow to protect your dream body.
  • Rosemary carries the protection of the divine feminine. Wear a drop of Rosemary essential oil on the crown of your head, and she will protect with the awareness of a mother wolf.
  • Connect to nature. Offer tobacco or white sage to a tree, stand barefoot on the roots and hold your back body to the tree. As your feet connect to tree’s spirit release any charged psychic energy you are holding through your feet, asking the earth to transform that energy into love.

Halloween ritual bath on The Numinous

:: RITUAL BATH FOR PSYCHIC PROTECTION ::

Ingredients
1 cup of Epsom Salt
4 cups of Nettles Tea infusion
1 tbsp of Apple Cider Vinegar
A few drops of Rosemary essential oil
A few drops of Rose Water or Rose Absolute Essential Oil

Crystals
Fluorite, Quartz, Citrine and Black Tourmaline

Add all ingredients to a bath of water as hot as you can stand.

Ritual
Light candles around the bath
Smudge your self by burning white sage and cedar around your body, wafting the smoke towards you with a feather
Step into the bath
Take three deep cleansing breaths
Place a candle directly in front of you and stare into the flame without blinking for five minutes. Let the flame clear your mind and bring you into psychic awareness
Dunk your head under the water
Place the Quartz crystal under you at the back of your heart, place the citrine on your solar plexus, hold the Fluorite in your left hand and the Black Tourmaline in your right
Chant the sound “Aum” (Om) at least three times
Soak in and enjoy the protective energy you’ve created

Halloween ritual bath on The Numinous

MY MYSTICAL WEEK: KUNDALINI HEAVYWEIGHTS, THE POWER OF SAGE, AND A BOX OF TREATS

Will I ever be hardcore enough to be one of the kundalini crew, asks Ruby Warrington?

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I HUNG WITH THE KUNDALINI HEAVYWEIGHTS. So kundalini yoga is generally one of those things I do because I don’t want to. I figure anything that makes my ego flip-out the way this practice does has gotta be good for furthering my personal ascension goals – plus I’ve experienced some of my most profound life realizations on my sheepskin. Like full-on psychic visions about the best next steps to take in life. So when I learned that Guru Jagat (a.k.a. the woman spearheading the current kundalini global takeover bid) was hosting a retreat with her Rama Institute in Glastonbury last weekend, OF COURSE I extended my recent stay in the UK so I could go.

Here’s a sampling of the kind of stuff that went down:

Daily 4am sadhana. Literal translation: “spiritual exertion towards an intended goal”. My translation: “a battle of ego over sleep-deprived mind, and absolute evidence that kundalini yogis – who practise sadhana every morning – are the most hardcore of yogis.”
My first 2.5 hour meditation. About 4.30am on Saturday morning, Guru Jagat announced she’d had a download that we were going to do the “Master’s Touch” meditation that morning. Here’s a video. We did this for 2.5 hours (but faster, without music, and with our hands held in the ‘crossed fingers’ position). TF for her caveat that anybody “new” to kundalini was welcome to nap if needed.
Shopping for Jupiter rings. One think I love about the kundalini community is that they’re generally dripping with jewels – and the first opportunity we got we headed to Stone Age, a high-vibe crystal jewelry store in Glastonbury town. Wearing a ring on your Jupiter finger (the pointer finger) is said to symbolize power, leadership and authority…which is interesting since most women were saying they don’t like wearing rings on that finger because it feels “ugly” and “clunky.” Hmmm!
A trip to the top of the Tor. As in, the hill that presides over Glastonbury – and which is also the axis of the mythical Earth Zodiac (which, never fear, I will write about at length in another post!) Cut to bemused stares from the ‘regular’ tourists, as our 40-strong group moved from seated meditation in the grass (substituting sheepskins for black trash bags to protect our kundalini whites)…to insane selfie excitement in the natural wind machine created by the ruins of St Michael’s castle (see below).

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I BOWED TO THE POWER OF SAGE. I actually had to leave the retreat early (which means I missed seeing Merlin’s Cave, the crop circle excursion, and the final 4am sadhana AT THE TOP OF THE TOR), because of an electrical issue that needed sorting in my London home. My shower had been giving off a *tingle* of electrical charge (eek), and the electrician had already been in twice to figure out what was causing it – to no avail. He needed to do a deep dive he said, and un/rewire my entire house to get the bottom of this one (see dollar signs stretching to infinity in my mind’s / third eye).

I figured I might as well do my bit, so I picked up a GIANT bunch of sage at Star Child Original Medicinal Botanicals in Glasto and smudged my place the night before – paying extra attention to the bathroom. I mean it could easily be an energetic problem, right? Ghost of tenants past making a watery plea for freedom? And what do you know, 15 minutes into the job, my man Shane had found and fixed the problem! He was scratching is head over how he’d missed it before…while I smiled inside cos I figured I’d essentially smoked that mo-fo out.

I RECEIVED A BOX OF TREATS. One thing I miss about my “old life” in the mainstream media is the constant stream of free beauty products I used to get sent. In fact, there was a whole other lesson in ego eradication when the supply dried up once I left my old staff job. But when I returned back to NY, I was amazed to find a box of beauty goodies from Blue Mercury awaiting me – and even better, the majority of them were all natural!

Perhaps they were a gift from Jupiter, planet of abundance, who just moved signs into my house of health and wellbeing. Or from Venus, Goddess / planet of beauty, as a thank you for honoring her with our Temple of Venus art project this past month. I mean, these are the kind of questions a girl has to ask when goodies appear from out of no-where. And my fave product in the box? A chemical-free nail lacquer from Smith & Cult in a shade of poppy red called Kundalini Hussle – of course.

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6 WAYS TO STAY ZEN ON VACAY

Destination relaxation – but getting away from it all can bring its own stresses. Gabriela Herstik has 6 ways to stay zen on vacay…

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Yay, here comes vacay season! But as much as unplugging from the daily grind to recharge on life minus to-do lists, technology and Tinder is a necessary part of being human (word up, work-a-holic serial daters), getting out of your routine can also trip you out of your trusted spiritual practises.

Here are six ways you can stay zen, keep your chakras in check and your aura vibrating high vibes while you’re out of office…

1. Apps at the ready
Okay, so YES committing to some dedicated phone-free time is a vacay essential. But there are so many great apps to help you step back and realign, once you’ve decompressed a little how about using your downtime to recommit to a daily meditation practise? “Headspace” or “Breathe” are a great place to start, and just 5 or 10 minutes a day on the beach to check in and find some zen could be all it takes to get you back on track. But NO sneak peak at your email account, gottit?! (Check out Vogue’s list of meditation apps HERE too)

2. Stash Your Crystals
Fast access to international travel is undoubtedly one of the great privileges of the modern world…but it’s also the easiest way to get exposed to all kinds of gnarly energy. So bring your crystals along for the ride! Whether it’s a trusty chunk of clear quartz or some obsidian, grab a couple of your favorite stones (cleanse them before you head out) to help clear and protect your energy field while you’re on the road. The easiest way to make sure your stones stay with you? Wear them. If you’re heading somewhere sunny, you’ll even keep them charged on the go. (Find a list of stones for each chakra HERE)

3. Sage Yo’self
Clear out the bullshit, inhale the good shit, you know the drill – and when you think about the number of souls passing through hotel rooms and holiday rentals, regularly smudging your vacay space is a no-brainer. Same goes for campgrounds and hire cars; just please, don’t light up your bundle of sage in the aisle seat of Delta flight 111 to Nirvana. In fact, where smoke and sparks are inappropriate, there’s Florida Water for that. (Click HERE for a full guide to smudging your space)

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4. Make A Vacay Mantra
So maybe you’re travelling with about ten of your dearest friends and / or family, who you really love…up until day three. We get it. Sometimes decamping to an alien environment with a bunch of people you usually spend two hours with MAX can be a little, shall we say overwhelming. So make a mantra to set a positive intention for your group before you go. Perhaps it’s as simple as “I am always calm, cool and collected”, or as specific as “There is a divine lesson in every crazy twisted thing my sister says”. If you’re travelling alone, it might be more along the lines of “I have all the information I need, and I got this.”

5. Yoga Every Damn Day
Yoga? Away from your regular studio? Okay, so we know it’s not the most original idea, but hear us out. Rather than working your asana off to continue your regular practise on the road or find a local studio, or indulging in a self-imposed guilt trip about NOT doing either of the above, remember you can still get the benefits when you practise a conscious shavasana on your sun bed, or take five to find a tree while you’re waiting in line for your lobster roll. If circumstances allow it, commit to get your flow on however and wherever you feel moved. Your body and your soul will thank you, we promise.

6. Breathe
Okay, so we know you’re breathing. But how many times in an average day do you slow down and listen to your breath? In yogic terms, breathing is called “pranayama” and there are lots of different ways to breathe, with lots of different purposes. A good one when you just need some quick grounding is called Ujjayi – when you breathe in and out of your nose, tensing the muscles at the back of your throat so it feels like you’re fogging up a mirror.

It should sound like an ocean, and it should feel smooth and soothing. After any time on the road, your senses will be overwhelmed (whether it feels like it or not after that first tequila cocktail). A few moments of conscious breath will bring you back into the present, all the better to enjoy your brand new view. (For more on different Pranayama techniques, click HERE)