HOW I AM COMMITTING TO RAISING A CONSCIOUS MAN

In a climate of deeply wounded masculinity, Nina Endrst was dismayed to discover she was having a boy. But she soon realized this was a calling to declare her credo for raising a conscious man …

Photo by Dru Nadler

I consider myself pretty intuitive. It’s been my work, especially in recent years, to release doubt and follow my heart in whatever direction I’m led.

Shortly after I became pregnant, I felt I “knew” I was going to have a little girl. I felt it in my bones. Saw visions of her during deep meditation and healing sessions. We were going to raise a little feminist.

Wrong. Well, sort of. My 22-week ultrasound revealed that I was in fact having a boy. A BOY?! Of course my only hope is and was to have a healthy baby—but I’ll admit I was knocked off my intuitive pedestal in that moment.

When we got in the car, I looked at my husband and said, “UGH! He is going to watch porn?!” I was totally freaked out for a good few minutes, going over all the things he definitely couldn’t do or be.

How the hell am I going to raise a man? Despite having strong relationships with good men, something about being responsible for ensuring that mine wouldn’t grow up to be a chauvinist asshole was daunting. It is impossible for me not to be enraged daily by the toxic masculinity that exists in our society, and around the world.

As I pondered what it would meant to raise a conscious man, I asked myself, where do I begin?

Then, I remembered a dream I’d had about an old boss (privileged, white, good looking by most people’s standards, probably rarely hears or understands the word “no”). This dream triggered a real memory of the sexual harassment I experienced while I was an employee and had “forgotten” about.

Because I, like most women, experience sexual harassment ALL the time. Many of us have also been victims of assault (I was age 9, and wrote about it here). The recent #Metoo shed some light on the epidemic, but this is not and cannot be perceived as “normal.”

So how do we heal such a deep and devastating wound? The conversation feels bigger than I can possibly wrap my head and heart around. And it raises serious doubts about how I will raise a conscious, sensitive, compassionate, FEMINIST man today.

Below is my individual process to tending to this wound daily—for myself, my son, and the whole. It’s where I am beginning my commitment to raise a conscious man …

Photo by Matthew Johnson

1// I commit to regularly sharing with the men in my life how I am and have been mistreated as a woman.
Practice: I will not assume that everyone is awake, watching, and listening. This does not mean I will excuse sexist behavior or abuse—this means I will educate men around me through my personal experience. I will share how it made me feel when I was cat-called earlier that day, when I do feel safe, and discuss the long-lasting emotional and energetic damage that I and most women have to continually work to undo.

2// I commit to teaching my son that women are not things to be “had.” We are human beings to be respected.
Practice: I will surround him with strong females, both in real life as well as through literature and media. From the time he is born, I will introduce him to men that speak to and about women with love and respect, and will continue to work with my husband to show him what a healthy and equal partnership looks like.

3// I commit to helping my son understand that silence is unacceptable.
Practice: I will speak up in his presence and explain to him that with privilege comes responsibility. That we are put on this earth to protect each other and it is not OK to sit quietly on the sidelines if and when we witness injustice or abuse.

4// I commit to speaking honestly to my son about dangerous and unhealthy body standards placed on women.
Practice: I’ll raise him to look for intelligence, kindness, and humor in women, and people in general, before beauty. I will show him that beauty exists in many forms and do my best to limit his exposure to messaging that is damaging to women.

5// I commit to teaching my son how to show emotion—that sensitivity and compassion are part of what make him “a man.”
Practice: I will ask him how he feels and listen to him with an open heart. I will allow him to express himself and his emotions fully and praise him for it.

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My son will be born in a few weeks. I feel mostly at peace and a little clueless and naive. I do not know how our lives will unfold from here, and am very aware that much of it is out of my control. But I do know that I will try every day to be the strongest, softest, version of myself, both for my son, and for our collective healing of the wounded masculine as it unfolds.

Nina lives her yoga and is inspired by traveling to places outside her comfort zone, both physically and emotionally. Currently based in Hudson, NY, she leads retreats around the world and welcomes students of all levels. Connect with her at ninaendrstyoga.com and on Instagram.

NOWHERE TO HIDE: READING FOR THE SCORPIO FULL MOON

Let it all hang out…and allow “it” to spark your transformation, says Danielle Paige. PLUS a channelled angelic message for the Scorpio Full Moon by Jackie O’Shea

The need to feel. The need to destroy. The need to begin again, new, pure, hungry for something the makes your soul feel alive again. The need to hold on tight…and yet, to let go.

Welcome to this week’s Scorpio Full Moon. She will be exact on April 22 at 1:24am EST at 2 degrees of Scorpio.

A Full Moon shines a light on all things hidden. There is nowhere to hide now; it all comes out and usually in a dramatic way. Combine this with Scorpio energy, and we’ve entered a zone where we’re being asked to crack open and reveal the parts that might not be so pretty. Which, of course, is always subjective.

It may be pretty to cry – because it means you’re releasing old pain. It may be pretty to be a hot mess – because you’re feeling raw, untamed, and unapologetic, which in itself can be freeing and sexy!

A Full Moon is a powerful portal that help us tune into the Universal energy as we become moved by her gravitational pull. She dances over our soul. She plays with our heart. She lights us up. She brings our emotions to a head. She can keep us up at night, revealing questions that have been trapped in our subconscious for some time.

She taunts us….and when she’s in Scorpio, she does so in a transformative and healing way by going way, way below what’s happening up on the surface to get to the heart of the matter.

This Scorpio Full Moon may feel intense. But hold on to the awareness that she is here to show us the magic that’s hiding deep within. Scorpio energy doesn’t care what something looks like on the surface because it knows that underneath….inside….deep in the shadows….there is is a spark so bright it has the potential to transform into something more powerful than anything we’ve seen before.

This is where we are reborn, from this spark, from this light. But, first, something must be destroyed. That’s just how Scorpio works. Seductive and mysterious, Scorpio understands, as with everything in life, that we must let go of what has been order to breathe anew, to feel alive, and to move. Because when we move, when we transform and evolve, is when we truly live.

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Here are a few tips to help you tap into the transformative powers of this Scorpio Full Moon:

1) Allow yourself to access places within yourself that you haven’t felt in a while. It’s okay, you’re safe. The holding onto the past is what’s keeping you stuck.
2) Release anything that no longer serves you. Energetically imagine sending it down into a vortex and clearing it out of your energy field. Cut cords, take a salt bath, anything that will help you let go of the old.
3) Magick! Break out the tarot cards, runes, candles, crystals etc. This is a perfect time to use your tools to help you activate your intuition and turn on your witchy vibe.
4) Observe. See the light in others and it will help you identify the light in yourself.
5) Cleanse your chakras to balance your energy field so that you can feel lighter and more open.
6) And last but not least…sex it up! Scorpio is all about passion and intimacy so bust out the black leather and/or lace lingerie and channel your inner Lilith!

Still want to go deeper and do some healing work? Danielle is hosting a virtual circle for the Scorpio Full Moon Friday April 22. Find more here.

:: CHANNELLED ANGELIC MESSAGE FOR THE SCORPIO FULL MOON ::

There are many opportunities for you to work with the lunar energies. With so many planets currently in retrograde, this means allowing yourself to backtrack, embracing this time of review and reflection, and not get so caught up in the forward progress that you may desire. These are times of reflection, times of change, and times of embodiment.

Allow things to be as they are, for the tides to ebb and flow. Any roadblocks are here to help your highest vibrational destiny come into being. If barriers, false starts, and trials and tribulations appear, allow yourself the time to slow down and reflect on what no longer serves you that can now be transcended and released – even if this simply points to an emotional response pattern that is being triggered. Allow yourself to work with what IS, embracing that everything is happening for your highest destiny and evolution, even if it doesn’t appear so.

Begin to embody compassionate resonance during times of struggle and hardship as well as times of joy and transformation. You can help others more deeply by going into the depths of your own struggle and pain. And there is no need to worry about taking too much time to process the darkness, for time is infinite from the perspective of the soul.

Your lessons and evolution are far more significant that you may currently imagine, since you are embodying a place of learning where you can express into form all of the different facets of your multi-dimensional self, and be a full expression of infinity. The only limit you face now is in prohibiting yourself from embodying your truth, whatever that truth may be – a turbulent emotional state, a joyous state, or somewhere in between.

The current lunar energies are here to help you begin to embody your truth, whatever that looks like for you, and to express it into form without holding back. It is safe to fully feel every emotion, every sorrow, every hardship, and trial, allowing the density of your emotions to pass through your physical and energetic body. Allow the density to transcend and be transformed into higher light vibrations, creating the potential for newness.

You have the opportunity to begin to embody your highest path now and live the life that you desire to live. There is nothing holding you back in the time-space continuum but your own internal perceptions and barriers of consciousness. These have neurological ties to behavioral patterning encoded into your body hologram, but all of this CAN be loosened and transformed. All of this can change. You are being redefined in every moment, constantly creating new cells and patterns of behavior and embodiment.

We are proud of you for allowing all things and creation to be as they are. Now is a time to transcend time and space so that you can be everything that you are, recognizing yourself in all of the physical manifestations of the world. Enjoy the embodiment of this divinity, enjoy even the struggle and the heartbreak, so that you feel safe transcending the cycles of time that your mind has become entrapped by.

Allow yourself to grow with grace and transcend the old energetic limitations and boundaries that have held you back in the past from embodying your full divine higher self. You are an infinite creative immortal being and there is no reason to think of yourself as less than the divine embodiment that you are. We are proud of you every time you chose grace over struggle. We are proud of you every time you transcend an old karmic situation. We are proud of you every time you breath deep and take a moment to pause the breath. In higher consciousness you are infinite, all things are obtainable, and you are the infinity that you seek and desire.

Join Jackie O’Shea for an Embodying the Divine Feminine Full Moon Circle on Thursday, April 21st at 7pm PST available via live stream, recording, or in person in Los Angeles

Details and Tickets: embodydivinefeminine.splashthat.com

SAT NAM FEST: 5 FEMALE KUNDALINI SINGERS YOU NEED TO KNOW

Check out Alexandra Roxo’s recommendations for some high vibrational sound currents whether you want to drop into a deep meditative state or throw a dance party…

Workin’ that post kundalini glow in Joshua Tree.

I think spiritual music can sometimes get a bad rap. (No I don’t mean spiritual rap. Though that’s also a thing apparently.) I mean more on the kirtan/chill vibes spiritual music. Like when you wanna open your heart and commune kinda music. I usually keep this for my solo time and don’t go around town asking friends: “Did you hear the latest Ong Namo?”

I mean how often do you put on a little “Om Kali” at a dinner party? I save that for when I’m journaling or getting ready to meditate. Or with one or two besties. But I got to thinking… Why not put that on at a dinner too?

I’ve been listening to Krishna Das for years. And Bhagavan Das. Probably while reading Ram Das. Basically got the Das’s on lock. I’ve gone to their concerts, sat on the floor and chanted “Om Namah Shiva” at the top of my lungs with the best of them (including my Mom). I also re-fell in love with Tom Kenyon recently. His tone can throw you into a meditative state immediately where you feel like you’ve ascended into Lemuria and are literally a star. Sigh. For deep and soulful man vibes these dudes have got us covered. But where my ladies at?

I hadn’t heard many female voices until I came across Snatam Kaur, one of the most well-known chantresses in the scene. And she was the gateway drug for me into the world of angelic-women-dressed-in-white-singing-Kundalini-mantras-long-hair-flowing-in-the-breeze artists. Maybe long dress flowing in the breeze rather than hair, since most of these ladies wear turbans.

So I went to Sat Nam Fest in Joshua Tree to check out some of the best ladies in the Spiritual Music scene! I’m not really a festival kinda gal. (YET!)  Big groups and pack-mentality freak me out, and as far as turbans go, well I had a turban phase at age 19 when I was first “waking” up but haven’t worn one since.  Turban or no turban Sat Nam Fest was really great.  I bought the most amazing raw chocolates from a glowing 13-year-old boy and bought some white linen cause, well, linen is classic. (Kundalini wear by morning/Goddess garb by night!)  After that I listened to some amazing music. 

The ladies of kundalini are all an instant mood lifter.  Angel/Fairy vibes abound. They are all love and light.  When you’ve stored a day’s amount of anxiety in your chest and you need some light and love vibes call upon these women.

Here are some of my faves…

Ashana

:: Ashana ::

Pure angel. Her rendition of Ave Maria blew me away, and when my yoga teacher plays her song “Into My Arms” I immediately go into child’s pose for a cry searching for some arms to leap into. And I fell asleep watching this video recently which seems like a stoner moment but it was just a trippy amazing life moment to dream with this in my face.

Aykanna

:: Aykanna ::

Okay watch this and skip to 00:53 in. YES PLEASE. This couple and their baby and their whole vibe is well, amazing. Imma put them on my “Sacred Partnership” vision board ASAP. Swoon.

Snatam Kaur

:: Snatam Kaur ::

The most famous lady Kundalini singer, mentioned above, and her rendition of May the Long Time Sun has gotten me through many a tough time. Like deep hard times. She and Ashana have your back.

Simrit

:: Simrit Kaur ::

I had never heard of her ‘til Sat Nam Fest and her voice is gentle with a little folk in it. Plus her videos are really beautiful, and she does these cute Youtube videos called The Simrit Sessions – and I love this one on the power of cold showers!

Ajeet Kaur
 
:: Ajeet Kaur ::
She may be the youngest of these ladies but her voice is quite powerful.  I’m not sure if a fan made this video or what but it has some of my fave things in it:  merkabas, Ganesha, octopi, matrix light fields…Psychedelic meets kundalini is an instant yes for me!
I was quite inspired by the way these ladies work with their beloveds. Ashana’s husband was on stage with her and he played the bowls with her and I watched them.  Simrit and Jai Dev slay with their joint devotion.  Spiritual J and Bey vibes all around. I’m not saying we should all start bands with our lovers, but these ladies are onto something.Beyond the beautiful music, all these artists are major healers. Tune in any time you’re going through a transition. A breakup. Want to dip into the heart space. While in a bath. In traffic. Or at a dinner party with your most cynical, non-spiritual friends. Look, anytime. It’s medicine.