TAURUS FULL MOON RITUAL TO QUIT FAKING

The Scorpio / Taurus axis invites us to embody our wholeness—which is only ever possible when we quit faking it …

Photo: Pawel Szvmanski

Nobody wants to be a faker—but we do it all the time. The fake smiles, the fake “I’m fine’s,” the faking we’re holding it all together, when inside it feels like part of us is dying. This Taurus Full Moon, can we please make a pact to quit with the faking already, and embody those parts back to life? (If you’re just here for the ritual, it’s at the end of the post. Clue: you’ll need one of these).

Scorpio season is a time for getting REAL. For confronting the raw truths of existence, and the shadow parts we usually work so hard to conceal. When the moon becomes full in the opposite sign of Taurus, it’s shining a torch under the dusty sofa of our psyche. A chance to clean out some of the cobwebs and to prove there are no monsters hiding out there after all, what we find are just the damaged, and therefore “unlovable” parts, we have shamefully been clamoring not to reveal.

Ugh, it’s exhausting, isn’t it? The faking?

I dusted out some of my cobweb/monsters last week, when I wrote about the truth of running a (spiritual) online business (a.k.a. all the ways I’ve tried to monetize The Numinous and failed). It felt risky and whiney and ugly to put it out there, but it had gotten so very heavy I had to get it out of my body. The response, OF COURSE, was a massive out-breath from my readers who are done pretending too (which I’m also guessing is you).

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I’m writing this from Women’s Week at Kriplau. My first time attending a retreat here, having been a presenter many times, I opted into a workshop titled The Alchemy of Writing. Sat on my backjack in this morning’s session, knees hugged tight to my chest, I had been longing for this this moment. A much-needed refilling of an inner cup that, in the past 12 months especially, has given so, so much.

Why was it then, that the expectant camaraderie encircling the other women in the room did not feel like it extended to me? How could it be that I felt this insecure as part of the group, opposed to the times I was leading it. Why, having spent the past two years confronting my fear of public speaking head-on, did my heart begin to pummel the interior of my ribcage at the mere idea of raising my hand to speak?

How fitting that our first writing prompt in today’s session was: “A time when I felt one way and acted another.” Holy mama. Also fitting for Scorpio season, here are the first few lines that stumbled out of me in response:

“I knew I was supposed to say ‘yes,’ and so that’s what I told him. ‘Did you come?’ He needed to know for his pride. We were in his parents’ house, chintzy covers on the bed, the reek of skunk weed clinging to the curtains and the shag-pile carpet. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d been picturing this moment—my deflowering—from the moment that we met.”

And so began a six-year stint (the first six years of my sexually active life) when lying on behalf of my body became my basic MO. Looking back, how could this NOT have led to issues with me “using my voice” in other areas of my life (given the fact that our vocal chords and our vaginas are also intimately connected)? Or me feeling like faking it (including the smiles, the ‘I’m fines’, the pretending I’m not hurting inside) was the proper thing to do?

As with my struggles to ask for what my work is worth, I suspect I am not alone in this one. When I recently interviewed sober sexpert Tawny Lara for my Sober Curious podcast about why she quit faking orgasms in sobriety, she explained that quitting drinking had led her down a path of radical, Scorpionic, honesty. Feeling your emotions in the raw, day-in-day-out, will do that to a girl. In a post on the same subject on The Temper, she wrote: “This honesty eventually crept into the bedroom. I was done adding a performative element to sex. The thought of tightening my pelvic floor while gyrating my hips and moaning in pseudo-pleasure just seemed like too much work.”

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Because the truth is, faking it is the fastest way to drain us of our precious life force energy. In fact, the effort it takes to maintain even the smallest “white lie” could be used to power whole movements; write books; launch and fuel game-changing enterprises; and radically transform lives. Which means, whatever you’ve got squished under your soul-sofa, know that it is sapping you of your very aliveness. But will you have the courage to shine a torch under there and chase it out for good?

You can practice with the small stuff. No more fake smiles. No more ‘I’m fines.’ Notice, as you shun the fake comfort of “fitting in” in favor of a vulnerable just being, how much more deeply you belong to your body temple, like it was waiting for you to inhabit it fully all along.

More, much more, on the energetic invitations of the Scorpio-Taurus axis, with advice and insights from myself, Betsy LeFae, and Bess Matassa, in this month’s subscribers’ only edition of the Now Age podcast.

And as for your Taurus Full Moon ritual? Simple. Put on some smooth tunes, pull out your crystal dildo, and invite your whole, perfectly imperfect self, to COME HARD back into your body. As you commit to never, ever, faking it again.

7 THINGS I LEARNED STARTING A CRYSTAL SEX TOY COMPANY

Vanessa Cuccia is the Founder of Chakrubs, The Original Crystal Sex Toy Company. Here she shares 7 deep spiritual lessons of her entrepreneurial path …

I was in my early twenties when I realized that no one was going to hand me the life I wanted. I also began to realize how complacent I had been, especially when it came to my sex life, relationship, and career. I knew I had to make a drastic change.

I began by breaking up with my boyfriend, who had been sexually and emotionally abusing me for six years. I felt I had finally taken responsibility for myself, and it was up to me to BECOME stronger, more connected to my body, and TO acknowledge my power. I wanted to be around people who could educate me on sexuality, so I took a job at a sex toy shop and invited a spiritual teacher to come live with me. During this time, I deepened my relationship to crystals and understanding of the body’s energy system, while opening up to my own sexual identity.

One night I was visiting the home of a woman with a large crystal collection when I saw a crystal wand. I realized that with a few adjustments it could be made into a tool for pleasure. Almost instantaneously I thought of the the name “Chakrubs™” and began receiving messages guiding me to create The Original Crystal Sex Toy Company®.

I’ve grown a great deal personally, spiritually, and professionally since beginning this journey almost seven years ago. Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way …

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1. When you’re rooted in your pleasure, no one can harm you.

At the very beginning of Chakrubs I began my own sexual healing journey with the Black Obsidian Chakrub. I started with this one because it is known to assist in releasing emotional implants that no longer serve us. After spending six years with someone who treated my body like a sex toy, I knew I had a lot of stored negativity. The Black Obsidian helped me release a lot of shame and guilt I had been holding onto.

This, combined with placing a strong focus on pleasure while starting my business, caused me to realize how much these negative emotions were draining me and how empowered I felt when I was rooted in pleasure. Being rooted in pleasure means being sensitive to what makes you feel good and having the confidence to pursue those desires. When you connect with what brings you pleasure, it will protect you from outside judgements or criticism.

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2. “When you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

This quote from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist has been proven to me time and time again. When I decided to create Chakrubs, I gave myself permission to begin saying, “I started a brand called Chakrubs” to my friends, family, and people I’d meet. Even though most of the work I’d been doing was limited to meditation, brainstorming, and research at that point, I knew that those were all valuable steps in the process. I had decided in my heart that I was going to take on this role of bringing crystal sex toys to the mainstream to open people up to crystal and sexual healing.

I won’t say that it was easy starting this business, but at every point along the way I felt assisted by a power greater than myself. Everyone I spoke to had some key to help me unlock what was being created. It was as though my steps were being illuminated and I was just following the path laid out for me. I think once we proclaim that we want something and begin to work towards it, the universe will help us obtain it. We just have to be open to receiving and working within “the language of the universe.”

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3. I’m a fucking Goddess (and so are you).

Living in the redwood forests in Santa Cruz in 2011, I lived with women who would become the first focus group of Chakrubs. We would sing songs in our house and call each other goddesses.

I feel like what prevents us from being in touch with our own divinity is this idea that seeing yourself that way makes you conceited or narcissistic. In reality, recognizing your connection to all that not only enables you to understand the power you hold but also the power of the people around you.

Living with these women who were so different from me helped me understand that through our love, recognition and appreciation of one another we could be mirrors that would reflect each other’s potential. I’ve learned that it’s more fun and useful to honor people’s sacredness and shine light on what we love about them rather than focusing on their shortcomings.

When concepting Chakrubs, we sat in circles, in teepees, out on the picnic table, dreaming of which crystals would help others, what shapes would bring the most pleasure, and what energy could be infused into the crystals to make them even more special. Chakrubs took years and so much of my own self-healing to be able to bring it to you. The history of manifesting this creation is filled with depth and many stories that I am grateful to share.

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Over the weekend I celebrated my birthday (on Earthday) with friends, family and the community that I feel is within this world of Chakrub social media. I feel eternally grateful and deeply moved by the love I felt, and I want so intensely for this love to be shared by all. Though I am older I feel like a child as I am painfully, humbly, and honored to be aware of the lessons I still have to learn on my spiritual path. I say with no hesitation that you are each great teachers to me and I am learning from you every day. I want to continue to serve you the best and most authentic way that I can. Thank you for being open to opening. Thank you for loving to love. Thank you for being connected as we all are to one another and to yourself. ✨🌏💓🙏🏼Forever yours, Vanessa Cuccia Xx photo by @aliciarabbitheart

A post shared by Chakrubs™ (@chakrubs) on

4. The more heart you put into something, the better response you’ll receive.

Whenever I find myself feeling stuck or like things aren’t flowing with my business, I remember to show more of my heart. I reach deep into the “why” of what I’ve created, tell stories to my social media followers about how this all came about, reveal what I’m growing to understand, and I give gratitude.

Conventional businesses may not want to show the vulnerability of their CEO’s, but the mission of Chakrubs is to create connection to others through connection with the self. When I express myself I am not only strengthening my own understanding of why I started this company, but helping others understand that this is isn’t just a trend—it’s a lifestyle and philosophy meant to empower us.

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5. We don’t need anything outside of ourselves to heal, but we can use tools to facilitate that healing.

I’m a firm believer that we don’t need anything outside of ourselves to heal our emotional wounds. Crystals facilitate our natural ability to heal ourselves with their perfect molecular structures, but we already have crystals within us. There are crystals in our bones called apatite(1) and we can activate them through our intentions.

I like to be able to hold a tool, a tool that will help me to tune into myself and the sexual energy of the earth. So find a tool that works for you, but don’t rely on it entirely. Know that all of the wisdom you seek is within you, just waiting to be discovered.

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6. Arousal can reacquaint you with your spiritual beliefs.

In launching Chakrubs, I created a new way for us to use crystals to benefit our spiritual growth. When we work with crystals they become imbued with our intentions and Chakrubs are no different. As you become aroused and begin your Chakrub practice, your ritual becomes a reminder of your intentions and strengthens your focus. As someone who is not necessarily religious, I value practicing your values religiously. I may not remember to meditate daily, but every time I reach for my Chakrub, I am reminded how it is benefiting me on more levels than one.

When your art inspires other art. 🙏🏼✨ by @giulianaelina

A post shared by Chakrubs™ (@chakrubs) on

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7. It’s difficult to receive love when you don’t know who you are.

Creating my brand ethos, I had to ask myself, why is self-discovery and awareness important? Who cares if I know who I am or not? My answer is this: knowing ourselves is the only way we will be able to accept the love we are given.

We won’t be able to receive love from our partners or the world if we are stuck in our egos or trying to deny aspects of who we are. Honesty is the only way to feel worthy of love, and self-awareness is the only way to be honest. If we take time for introspection and healing, we’ll be able to unveil who we are at our core. Once we really get to know ourselves it creates more compassion and empathy for others. Which is why I believe this to be true; heal yourself and you heal the world.

Learn more about Chakrubs and get rooted in a life of pleasure and creativity at Chakrubs.com

HELLO CHAKRUBS: YES, THAT’S A CRYSTAL DILDO

Forget the battery operated vibrator, and pick up a high-vibe, soul-opening crystal sex toy from Chakrubs. Founder Vanessa Cuccia shares her story with Gabriela Herstik.

Chakrubs founder Vanessa Cuccia

 

Yes, Chakrubs are exactly what they sound like, and these high vibe crystal sex dildos are here to shake things up! Vanessa Cuccia, the #girlboss behind Chakrubs, is on a mission to promote self-love, acceptance and a whole lot of awareness with some super sensual playtime. And with a background in sex toys and holistic medicine, Cuccia is the natural choice in enlightening the world, one crystal dildo at a time. By combining the healing properties of crystals with sexual energy, and then pairing that with some sexy intention setting, Chakrubs allow you to really root into your pleasure. So whether you’re an amethyst kinda gal or you’re more into onyx, you can get your sexy on while giving yourself some extra TLC – Numinous style.

The Numinous: The crystal dildo – something we would never have thought of but…are totally into. How did you some up with this concept? Why crystals?
Vanessa Cuccia: 
Really, the idea was the result of a culmination of experiences and desires I had experienced since a young age. About age four when my mother had a paranormal experience that opened up many conversations about energy, God, conspiracy, and spirits in my household. My father is also a doctor of the spine, an inventor of a non-surgical medical device called Extentrac to help heal and alleviate back pain, so I also had influence in the importance of homeopathic health.

 

My views on sexuality also played a major role in coming up with the concept. I had held my virginity in high regard, but when I had sex for the first time, I wasn’t ready. For many years, I struggled with feeling pleasure with another person. No sex toy on the market appealed to me, and yet I had a desire to explore my sexuality and remove shame around it. Crystals seemed like a natural and therapeutic option. Once I came up with the name and started telling people my idea, it was clear that this was something that was needed in the lives of many people, and the sex toy industry as a whole. The philosophy behind it being just as important as the product itself: self-love, self-awareness, and self-acceptance.

TN: How do the different stones used in each toy impact the experience?
VC:
Different stones have been used for thousands of years for their various metaphysical properties, since each stone vibrates at a different frequency. One may be best for opening the heart chakra for love, one may be best to open the throat chakra for communication and creativity. We suggest to our customers setting an intention with whichever Chakrub they choose. This way, each time they have a “session” with one, they are reminded of the growth they wish to achieve, the pain the wish to release, or the things they wish to manifest.

TN: Chakrubs merge two really beautiful energies: raw stones and sexual energy. How do they aid one another?
VC:
Crystals have perfect molecular structures, providing a therapeutic vibration that we may benefit from just by being near them. Some of us are very sensitive to crystal energy. Some of us – not so much. For those who aren’t so sensitive, they may first become acquainted with this energy by first feeling their own sexual energy – since arousal is an easy signal to us that energy is flowing. This can lead to the realization that energy is all around us, and helping us flow in whatever circumstance we are in – in turn, helping us navigate all areas of our lives. The energy of a crystal dildo will simply amplify sexual energy, and sexual energy will amplify crystal energy. This works through focused attention and awareness.

 

 

TN: Also, total fans of the wordplay in “Chakrubs.” How does sacred playtime, with the aid of toys, help to balance the energy of the chakras?
VC:
 When we are truly rooted in our pleasure, comfortable and excited, our minds go into a state of meditation. It’s a place free of anxiety. This allows for a clean and unblocked flow of energy, and that flow can become more intense when our intention is also to allow this to happen. The combination of sexual energy, intention and the energy from the Chakrub is powerful medicine for our chakra, endocrine, and nervous system.

TN: One of the most beautiful parts of your mission is to encourage love, especially self-love and acceptance. How does using a crystal dildo facilitate more love, acceptance and awareness?
VC:
 The philosophy behind Chakrubs is self-love, self-awareness, and acceptance. As such, this mission is instilled in each of the products, and there to be connected with each time a person uses a Chakrub, and sexual arousal with the use of Chakrubs becomes a signal to remember and tap into the ideas of self-love, spiritual growth, and awareness.

 

 

TN: How do you think being aware and vocal about your needs, sexually and emotionally, can help spiritual growth?
VC:
Spiritual growth IS self-awareness. It is understanding that everything that happens is happening as it needs to in order to facilitate growth. Removing fear and shame (or rather, not holding on to these feelings) from the part of ourselves that is meant to receive and give pleasure is a potent place to start on a spiritual path.

TN: What’s your advice for someone who is hesitant to experiment and use a sex toy? What’s the one thing you wish someone had told you?
VC:
If someone is hesitant to use a sex toy, don’t use a sex toy! However, if someone is hesitant to use a sex toy but still desires to use a sex toy – figure out what’s scaring you, do your research, and explore! Work towards understanding who you are, and what you need to feel pleasure. This is really about learning to understand and speak of your flaws as points of empowerment. To honor your whole self and your desires.

Discover more at Chakrubs.com