HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM THIS MOTHER’S DAY

The “special bond” we have with our moms can also feel like the most challenging relationship of our lives. Here six Moon Club members share what’s been the most healing thing for them and their moms …

Alexandra and I with our New York Moon Club members. Photo: Caitlin Mitchell

The last time I went home to England to visit my mom, things were tense. She was upset that work commitments meant I was unable to visit at the same time as my brother and his baby boy. With me in the US and him in Berlin, she loves nothing better than having us all together like a normal happy family.

But our family has never been “normal” (whatever that means). I’m not going to write all the details here, but tragic circumstances, as well as emotional and geographical distance, mean that and my mom, and my brother, and I are kind of it.

Now I have a little nephew, our unit has grown by one, and time together is even more precious. So, I get why she was upset. Upset which spilled over to me, and which found us, barefoot and in our bathrobes, engaged in a 2.5-hour deep-dive in her kitchen the second morning of my visit.

We hadn’t even had our morning tea. But when she asked me, “are you okay?”, I decided not to reply with the grumpy shrug or tight-lipped smile that I have used throughout my life to avoid getting into a fight. I decided to tell her the truth of exactly what I was feeling. Which was pretty pissed that I was getting all the blame for apparently messing up our family time.

This opening led us on a journey of tears and rage and resentment, and into the depths of our family history. I learned things about my mom, and her mom, and the lineage of women in my family that I had never known. Mental illness, lost children, abandonment. I was also able to see how different we are, my mom and me, and how we were playing out old, outworn family patterns without even realizing it.

I said my piece and she said hers. All for it. And it hurt so much. But, finally, it was the TRUTH. We stood facing each other afterwards, two human women, like we were seeing each other fully for the first time. Ragged and scooped-out, but also complete and whole. Healed.

In astrology, our mother is represented by the Moon. Also showing how we mother others, the Moon is a reminder that our feeling self is sort of like the mother of us—sometimes fierce and frightening, but always guiding us towards what’s best for us. Not that it always feels that way.

In honor of Mother’s Day, and the conflicted feelings we often have about this most intimate of relationships, six Moon Club members share what has been the most healing thing for their relationships with their moms. PLUS we’re offering 50% off annual memberships through midnight May 13th 2018. Click HERE for more.

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// Jerico Mandybur, Editorial Director, Girlboss.com and presenter,the Self Service podcast
I think Gloria Steinem said, “the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” For my mum and I, the truth first almost broke her. It was only when I was in my early twenties and suffering severe depression that one truth from my childhood emerged; one of sexual abuse, neglect and violence. It hit her hard—the complicity, guilt, my anger, all of it. Everything was instantly cast in a new light. But standing in the light of the truth intrinsically changed us. Our mistakes were laid bare and there was nothing left to do but forgive ourselves and start over. We’ve been walking a healing path ever since. The healing never really ends, but that’s not the point. It’s imperfect, like all of us.

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// Chantelle Brown, councillor and meditation coach, Chantelleerica.com
The most healing thing for me and my mom has been our ability to reconcile past hurts. About a year ago, I was visiting her back home, sitting in the kitchen, and talking about the work we were doing with Moon Club. At the time, I was working to deconstruct all the systems I had put in place to tuck away my inner most feelings. Growing up, I always had the impression that I felt things too deeply. I would weep at Feed the Children commercials and ask my mom what we were going to do to solve the hunger crisis in Africa. She always seemed baffled! Eventually I learned how to suppress these intense emotions, but now I wanted to work on my ability to live comfortably within my own skin as a woman.

As I spoke about how empowering it felt to begin to accept myself fully, my mother told me that she never found anything wrong with the feelings I expressed as a child. She went on to open up about the sorrow in her own life. How, experiencing the loss of her grandmother meant she encountered tremendous grief at a young age, going on to conditioned herself to be emotionally closed off. Bearing witness to the story her early life was the biggest gift. It has transformed our ability to be vulnerable with each other. Now I’m happy knowing I’m not the only person in my family who feels things deeply. In fact, I can proudly say “I get it from my mama!”

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// Ayesha Ophelia, Founder, The Girlfriend Manifesto
Laughter. Just like many mothers and daughters, we could annoy each other with our silence. But when we found something funny the roar of our laughter connected us so deeply. Although my mom passed away three years ago, I can still feel her presence the strongest when I cackle about something inappropriate. We healed through our laughter. We remain in each other’s consciousness through laughter to this day. ***Ayesha’s Symposium of Wild Hearts is launching June 1. Click HERE to learn more!

 

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// Marine Sélénée, Family Constellations therapist
Writing my book The Movement. I had never found the strength and courage to tell my mom about the sexual abuse that happened in London when I was 13. I guess I wanted to protect her. My mother is a strong woman, but often doesn’t know what to do with her emotions. Her way of dealing with difficult situations was either to lock herself in a room or to go silent. It drove me crazy! As a result, I’ve always held back from telling her the truth about my life.

I think this helped me to become strong, to learn to count on myself. But, that’s another topic! Writing and self-publishing my book allowed me to get closure with this trauma. I knew she was going to read it but having worked on my own healing for ten years, I also knew that no matter how she reacted, I would be able to handle it. Finally, my mother knew what happened and I felt safe to share it with her. I was her daughter again.

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// Gabriela Herstik, author, Craft: How to Be A Modern Witch
“Taking our own time and growing and finding space within ourselves has allowed us to communicate with honesty and compassion, out of a place of stillness and not reaction. Writing my book about witchcraft has also been really healing for us because she’s been able to learn and understand my spiritual practice and how it’s such an important part of my life. Not only have her misconceptions about the craft cleared up, but she’s been more understanding of my journey, and adopted some of my practices into her own life. The internal work we’ve both been doing has let us get closer to one another and allowed our relationship to deepen. We’ve always been close and now it’s at another level and I’m so thankful for it.

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// Sabrina Crockett, Queen of Operations, Moon Club
My momma and I have grown together, held each other up when we both needed it, leaned on each other in light and dark times. Like any relationship though, it has not always been EASY—oh no! I did not grow up in the healthiest of households, and I felt myself becoming resentful and angry as I moved into early adulthood. I could have kept walking down that path, blaming my mother for everything. For my childhood circumstances, for passing on generations of trauma. I could have chosen to see what was lacking, instead of all the love that was also there.

But I didn’t want to! So I picked up a copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and started on my own path of healing, forgiveness and love. It has been a journey! There have been tears, purging, hugs, laughter, happiness and more with my momma. Whenever I feel feelings of anything but pure love bubbling up, I now remind myself “she did the best she could with what she was given.” And WOW what a game changer. Feel free to use this over and over as I do to remind yourself that we are ALL doing our best.

Check out our Moon Club community HERE and get 50% off all annual memberships through midnight May 13th 2018 HERE.

MOON CLUB MOONERS & SHAKERS: ANNIVERSARY EDITION!

On our one year mooniversary of Moon Club, our Moon Club members are reflecting back at us what a loving, empowering, and fearless community we’ve created, says Ruby Warrington

When Alexandra Roxo and I launched Moon Club one year ago, we didn’t know what to expect. Our goal was to make mystical tools like astrology and ritual that we had easy access to in NYC and LA, available to people everywhere. We hoped that this would help others experience the same sense of Cosmic oneness and portal to self-healing that we had both benefitted from in our lives, our relationships, and our careers.

We also felt the value of community, sisterhood, and wanted to create a safe space where people could feel supported, seen, and held, as they embarked on their own journeys of self-discovery. Synching our program with the cycles of the Moon felt like a natural fit, and a way to feel connected beyond boarders and belief systems. Plus, y’know, who better as a figurehead than Mama Moon!

And here we are 12 months later, with hundreds of members in locations as far-flung as Beirut, Brazil, and Belfast. Members who consistently reflect back at us what a loving, empowering, and fearless community we’ve created. Some of whom have also gone on to become Moon Ambassadors, and are beginning to lead IRL meet-ups, rituals, and ceremonies in their own cities.

Over the past year, we’ve featured many of our members in a regular Mooners & Shakers feature. Below, a selection of our most active community members share what being part of Moon Club means to them!

PLUS to celebrate our 1 year mooniversary, we’re offering 50% off yearly memberships through Dec 3 2017! Click HERE to learn more and to sign up. 

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“I used to be so afraid of the unknown, planning for everything, and so entangled with my own emotions. Through Moon Club, I’ve allowed myself the privilege to just be me. And being more mindful of the moon has connected me to my core—I’m letting my womb guide me towards what’s needed. This is the best medicine that I can give myself.” – Chantelle Brown

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“You can literally say anything and there is no judgment. I think if you told some women that this exists, they would be skeptical. This summer, as I re-dedicated myself to abstaining from alcohol, I felt supported in the most unexplainable way. I think part of the reason I drank again was because being labeled as “woo woo” by those close to me made me dim my light. In Moon Club, I don’t need to hide that side of me.” – Megan Sweeten 

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“Knowing there’s a group of women/ femmes who have my back, who are holding me accountable, who support and love me; it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve learned that I’m not meant to do this alone.” – Gabriela Herstik

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“Being a part of Moon Club gives me a frequent reminder to breath, stop, and listen. It is also freaking awesome to have a squad of people who love witchy shit as much as me! [In my work] I love helping women understand how ace they are and Moon Club gives me the strength to do that. It’s like my own professional development course.” – Angela Meyer

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“Since joining Moon Club, I have experienced a boost in confidence that I am in fact on my true path. You can raise your vibration even higher when you are a part of a loving, kind, supportive community, and there is nothing more beautiful than remembering that we are all connected.” – Tanya Sakolsky 

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“Through Moon Club, I’m truly living by the cycles of the moon and thus embracing nature itself: my real nature and all of my emotions. I’ve learnt that the tears and release of doing so are an important part of getting to know myself better. Instead of coming up against the same issues over and over again, this process enables real change and real growth.” – Bettina Mcilraith 

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“As an entrepreneur and writer, I often feel like I have to do everything on my own. Moon Club has shown me the power in collaboration and connection, which is the only way forward in this new divine feminine rebirth. Moon Club makes you feel less alone on this sometimes lonely planet.” – Sahara Rose 

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“There are women I’ve met in Moon Club who are spiritual staples in my life now. It gives me hope for the change I wish to see occur in this world.  The love I want to expand. There is ENOUGH out there for everyone.” – Jennifer Robinson

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“Spiritual growth is continuous and just like yoga, meditation, and other modalities, it asks you to show up for yourself first so that you can show up for others. Through exercises like monthly journaling prompts, Moon Club reminds me to stay light and open to wonderment.” – Veronica Beltran 

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“I’ve always been more of an optimist, but Moon Club has added an additional emotion through its realness. It’s assisted me with my voice and in believing that the world needs and wants to hear what I have to say. Through the push of Moon Club, I’ve learned that I’m ready. The time is now. Take the leap!” – Morgan Greenseth


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“Perhaps you’ve found yourself on a different path from your regular circle of friends/family and would like to have a space to connect with others on a similar journey. This is the place! Not that we are trading in old friendships for new ones, but expanding the circle of support so we can feel more fulfilled in our lives. I have the energy to respond to things I didn’t have the breadth to do before.” – Aba Gyepi-Garbrah


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“I’ve learned that I am far more capable than I thought possible. This last year has been about bulldozing comfort zones in order to free fall into more expansive space internally. Pushing through fear, embracing and releasing it through action has been the most liberating experience of my life. Next stop, conquering the fear of snakes!” – Alma Groome 

To discover more about Moon Club and join our global community of spiritual change makers visit www.moonclub.co. PLUS we’re offering 50% off annual memberships through December 3!