THE TRUTH ABOUT SOULMATES

Think love should be like a screening of “The Notebook”? The truth about soulmates is dutch ovens, stretch marks, and past life pacts, says comedian and energy healer Jessica Brodkin. Main Image: Mariano Peccinetti.

 

Want to learn the truth about soulmates? Then listen to a psychic healer who’s had two divorces and a broken engagement. Trust me—I’ve met a lot of soulmates. But after massive heartbreak, and seeing my own clients through theirs, the same patterns and solutions have begun to emerge.

And I’ve discovered that real soulmates aren’t like the people you see in The Notebook. They’re more like my Mom and Dad, who believe they are soulmates…and who make fun of each other. “I must have been a real jerk to your father in a past life to have to put up with him now,” my Mom frequently quips.

With Venus retrograde until April 15th, we have an opportunity to re-examine our relationship with love, and to determine what is and isn’t working for us. Here are the five things I wish I’d known about soulmates ten years ago… 

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1. Your Soulmates are Not Just Your Lovers 
I think of incarnating (being born into your current life and body) as traveling with a plane full of your friends to Cancun, with only a few vague plans. “Marissa—see you on Tuesday in Tulum. Mark—save the last night for me, we’re going dancing and I wanna make out in the sand. ”

As someone who has always believed in past lives, I was one of those creepy kids who remembered how I died. I have a strong conviction that we travel throughout our lives with some of the same people in order for our souls to grow. Your mother, your siblings, your nephews, your boss, and even your roommate can all potentially be your soulmates.

Reading List: Carolyn Myss’ Sacred Contractsand Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls. 

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2. The Person You Think is Your Soulmate is Probably Healing Your Parental Issues
If you feel that your partner is tormenting you, he or she is probably helping to heal your parental issues. According to a lot of psychological theories, we choose partners based on the hurts we either experienced or witnessed as children.

In the summer of 2015, my then husband and I were planning on having a child. Two healers had something to say about this—the first that things weren’t going to work out as planned, but I wasn’t ready to hear that my marriage was going to end soon. However, the second healer convinced me to do a detox in order to have a healthy baby and halfway through, I realized I could not have a baby with this man. His issues, and our issues, were unresolved stuff from my childhood. He was definitely one of my soulmates, if not necessarily “the one”…

Reading List: Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want

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3. Love the One You’re With
We all like to think we’re royalty, but we’re more like Princess Fiona—expecting some charming prince or princess, but falling in love with Shrek instead. While Fiona became a green ogre in order to love him, when I got married and ruined my credit rating. Which is to say, your soulmate may not come in the package you expect, and he or she may be more into dutch ovens than you’d like.

What if the imperfect partner you have right now is your soulmate, and what if soulmates didn’t have to be forever? All of our partners are teachers—and some are here to show us our shadow side. If we abandon our current partner without doing the inner work they ask, we’ll find ourselves repeating our relationship patterns over and over again.

Reading List: Deepak Chopra’s A Path to Love

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4. Love Yourself, Too

There’s nothing more important than loving yourself. Trust me—I’m trying to get a crystal sex toy company to sponsor my radio show. This isn’t about arrogance, or attention-seeking behavior. It’s about accepting yourself where you are, and seeing the perfection in your imperfection. So love yourself so a partner can meet you where you are in life—the partner in your life is always a vibrational match for how you feel about yourself right now.

Write a gratitude list of all the awesome things about you. Talk to your stretch marks and scars, and tell them that you love them. Think of all the fun you had creating them! Practice self care. What makes you feel like a queen? What brings you bliss? Follow that joy.

Reading List: Gala Darling’s Radical Self-Love and Louise Hay’s How to Love Yourself

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5. And Finally … Trust Your Intuition
I once went to a psychic who told me I had a ghost baby living inside of me…and that I needed to pay her $700 to have a ghost abortion. I told her that for $700, I was going to keep the ghost baby. When I was in the middle of my divorce, another psychic told me that a new suitor was my twin flame (a.k.a. super soulmate). After being stood up multiple times, I started to think differently.

If I could give only one message to people who feel any sort of fear or insecurity about their love lives, I would say “Don’t go to psychics!” Even though I’m also a psychic and medium, I work primarily as a healer because I want my clients to develop their own intuition instead of relying on something outside of themselves.

People usually go to psychics to calm their fears. But one of the most difficult (and beautiful) parts of being human is to embrace your life despite those fears. To live your life, and love with reckless abandon. If your heart gets broken you will survive, eventually heal, and then learn to love again!

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Jessica Brodkin is a Reiki energy healer and stand up comedian based in New York City. She is an MIT and Johns Hopkins graduate who worked for the Central Intelligence Agency for 11 years, and has been featured on the cover of the New York Post, and on TruTV, AMC, and SiriusXM radio. She also has a weekly radio show on Journey Into the Light. Follow her on Instagram and discover more about her energy healing here.

A GUIDE TO VENUS RETROGRADE FOR YOUR SIGN

Does the sound of another retrograde have you reeling? Chill! Venus Retrograde 2017 is a time for rediscovering where our true love lives, says Danielle Paige … Main Image: Carlos Bongiovanni 

Saturday, March 4th :: Venus Stations Retrograde :: 14 degrees of Aries

Sunday, April 2nd :: Venus Re-enters Pisces  

Saturday, April 15th :: Venus Goes Direct :: 26 degrees of Pisces 

Lovers. Love. Sex. Money. The Feminine. Self-worth. Intimacy. Values. Relating. Giving. Receiving. Ahhhhh yes … all of the above is up for RE-discovery, right now.

While our first reaction to the word “retrograde” might be to let out a sigh of frustration, these cycles are actually moments of deep review. Think of this as an opportunity to work with your shadow side, heal those parts that need to be integrated or purged, and upgrade your patterns.

But of course, it’s not all sweetness and light—doing shadow work prompts us to address things that have been pushed under the rug. There will be breakups and there may be confusion in your current relationships. Whether you’re pretending you have a perfect relationship when you know it’s not truly nourishing your soul, or are stuck in the same relationship patterns over and over, it’s an optimal time to get real about what’s no longer working. And with this realness, eventually comes clarity. 

Ex-lovers? Venus Retrograde energy always tends to dig up the past in order to end old cycles, so don’t be surprised if old flames pop back up. New relationships? This can definitely be a time where people enter your life for karmic work. Be aware that “karmic” doesn’t always mean roses and sunshine! These will be relationships that force you to confront parts of yourself that you’re suppressing.

However, the energy of Venus is two-fold. While she symbolizes how we connect with others, each relationship has everything to do with what we VALUE, since we often project our core desires onto others. Remember to keep this broader message of Venus Retrograde in mind. Ask, how are you working with your feminine energy? Does it need more balancing? What’s your relationship to money like? Are you having a hard time discovering your core desires and values? Now is the time to dig deep into your heart and explore all of these themes—without judgement!

And please, don’t force it. Simply remain mindful that after Venus goes direct, you may start to see things differently. Whatever happens during this time, trust that your heart always knows the way home!

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Wondering where to start? Discover your Venus sign by looking at your birth chart and following the guide below. 

Collage: Mariano Peccinetti

:: Venus in Aries :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to reconnect with your courage and independence in a balanced way, instead of just diving in head first. You are good at pushing others to find their independence but sometimes that means you forget about yours—reconnect with your courage and your truth!

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:: Venus in Taurus :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to connect back with your own sensuality and your core values. You are good at sustaining others in love but have you forgotten to sustain yourself as well? Take your time in love—you’re meant to go at your own pace.

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:: Venus in Gemini ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to communicate your needs clearly, but to do so in a way that moves beyond the surface and gets real. It’s easy for you to skim the surface but what happens if you get a little deeper? You move beyond the shadow energy of Venus in Gemini and you may actually find something that doesn’t bore you!

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:: Venus in Cancer ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to nurture yourself as you would a child. You spend so much time taking care of others, and with this Venus energy redirected, it can help you better care for your own feelings. You are the mamma bear of love but don’t forget that mamma bears need love too.

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:: Venus in Leo ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to shine your love and light on the world in a way that motivates others, instead of only making it all about yourself. You have such an ability to show others the way—use it to serve, inspire, love, and cheer people on and raise them up! In doing so, you raise your vibration as well.

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:: Venus is in Virgo ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to clean up your diet, health, and routine so that you can be of service to yourself in a way that you haven’t before. You are dedicated with your love, so make sure you are dedicated to yourself as well.

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:: Venus in Libra ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to find the right relationship for your soul, not just any relationship. Libra enjoys partnership and can often lose themselves in one. Instead, this is a time to really get connected with what you need and desire in a divine partnership that lifts you up rather than simply fills a void.

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:: Venus in Scorpio ::Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to connect deeply with those around you. Surface relationships are not your thing so if it’s not activating your heart then it’s time to go deeper or move onto something else. Out of all the Venus placements, you know when to purge a relationship or when it’s a call for deeper intimacy—trust that you know what to do!

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:: Venus in Sagittarius :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to spread your wings! Go on adventures either with your lover or by yourself, because you never know who you might meet. This is the Venus sign that says “yes” to expansion. Have you been stuck in a rut? It’s time to explore and let your passport lead the way…

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:: Venus in Capricorn :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to find your own inner authority. You are always very good at helping others rise to the top so now take the time to plan out your next steps for inner and outer success. In your uphill climb, remember that slow and steady wins the race for you.

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:: Venus in Aquarius :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to play up your intelligence and your uniqueness. Often times, you may subconsciously hide these qualities because it challenges societal expectations, but thisVenus Retrograde is the time to tap into all that makes you, you! This is your path towards the free-spirited love you so desire.

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:: Venus in Pisces :: Venus Retrograde is encouraging you to make sure you’re seeing love clearly. Pisces energy can sometimes focus solely on the good parts and ignore the red flags in relationships. Instead of focusing so much on others, this is also good time to be sure you are seeing yourself clearly as well. Are you ignoring your own inner flags? Refocusing on your own process will help you find more clarity in love as well.

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