THE TRUTH ABOUT SOULMATES

Think love should be like a screening of “The Notebook”? The truth about soulmates is dutch ovens, stretch marks, and past life pacts, says comedian and energy healer Jessica Brodkin. Main Image: Mariano Peccinetti.

 

Want to learn the truth about soulmates? Then listen to a psychic healer who’s had two divorces and a broken engagement. Trust me—I’ve met a lot of soulmates. But after massive heartbreak, and seeing my own clients through theirs, the same patterns and solutions have begun to emerge.

And I’ve discovered that real soulmates aren’t like the people you see in The Notebook. They’re more like my Mom and Dad, who believe they are soulmates…and who make fun of each other. “I must have been a real jerk to your father in a past life to have to put up with him now,” my Mom frequently quips.

With Venus retrograde until April 15th, we have an opportunity to re-examine our relationship with love, and to determine what is and isn’t working for us. Here are the five things I wish I’d known about soulmates ten years ago… 

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1. Your Soulmates are Not Just Your Lovers 
I think of incarnating (being born into your current life and body) as traveling with a plane full of your friends to Cancun, with only a few vague plans. “Marissa—see you on Tuesday in Tulum. Mark—save the last night for me, we’re going dancing and I wanna make out in the sand. ”

As someone who has always believed in past lives, I was one of those creepy kids who remembered how I died. I have a strong conviction that we travel throughout our lives with some of the same people in order for our souls to grow. Your mother, your siblings, your nephews, your boss, and even your roommate can all potentially be your soulmates.

Reading List: Carolyn Myss’ Sacred Contractsand Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls. 

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2. The Person You Think is Your Soulmate is Probably Healing Your Parental Issues
If you feel that your partner is tormenting you, he or she is probably helping to heal your parental issues. According to a lot of psychological theories, we choose partners based on the hurts we either experienced or witnessed as children.

In the summer of 2015, my then husband and I were planning on having a child. Two healers had something to say about this—the first that things weren’t going to work out as planned, but I wasn’t ready to hear that my marriage was going to end soon. However, the second healer convinced me to do a detox in order to have a healthy baby and halfway through, I realized I could not have a baby with this man. His issues, and our issues, were unresolved stuff from my childhood. He was definitely one of my soulmates, if not necessarily “the one”…

Reading List: Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want

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3. Love the One You’re With
We all like to think we’re royalty, but we’re more like Princess Fiona—expecting some charming prince or princess, but falling in love with Shrek instead. While Fiona became a green ogre in order to love him, when I got married and ruined my credit rating. Which is to say, your soulmate may not come in the package you expect, and he or she may be more into dutch ovens than you’d like.

What if the imperfect partner you have right now is your soulmate, and what if soulmates didn’t have to be forever? All of our partners are teachers—and some are here to show us our shadow side. If we abandon our current partner without doing the inner work they ask, we’ll find ourselves repeating our relationship patterns over and over again.

Reading List: Deepak Chopra’s A Path to Love

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4. Love Yourself, Too

There’s nothing more important than loving yourself. Trust me—I’m trying to get a crystal sex toy company to sponsor my radio show. This isn’t about arrogance, or attention-seeking behavior. It’s about accepting yourself where you are, and seeing the perfection in your imperfection. So love yourself so a partner can meet you where you are in life—the partner in your life is always a vibrational match for how you feel about yourself right now.

Write a gratitude list of all the awesome things about you. Talk to your stretch marks and scars, and tell them that you love them. Think of all the fun you had creating them! Practice self care. What makes you feel like a queen? What brings you bliss? Follow that joy.

Reading List: Gala Darling’s Radical Self-Love and Louise Hay’s How to Love Yourself

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5. And Finally … Trust Your Intuition
I once went to a psychic who told me I had a ghost baby living inside of me…and that I needed to pay her $700 to have a ghost abortion. I told her that for $700, I was going to keep the ghost baby. When I was in the middle of my divorce, another psychic told me that a new suitor was my twin flame (a.k.a. super soulmate). After being stood up multiple times, I started to think differently.

If I could give only one message to people who feel any sort of fear or insecurity about their love lives, I would say “Don’t go to psychics!” Even though I’m also a psychic and medium, I work primarily as a healer because I want my clients to develop their own intuition instead of relying on something outside of themselves.

People usually go to psychics to calm their fears. But one of the most difficult (and beautiful) parts of being human is to embrace your life despite those fears. To live your life, and love with reckless abandon. If your heart gets broken you will survive, eventually heal, and then learn to love again!

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Jessica Brodkin is a Reiki energy healer and stand up comedian based in New York City. She is an MIT and Johns Hopkins graduate who worked for the Central Intelligence Agency for 11 years, and has been featured on the cover of the New York Post, and on TruTV, AMC, and SiriusXM radio. She also has a weekly radio show on Journey Into the Light. Follow her on Instagram and discover more about her energy healing here.

MATERIAL GIRL, MYSTICAL WORLD: NATALIA BENSON

Jewelry designer, DJ and tarot maven, Natalia Benson is on a mission to create, express and inspire beauty. Discover her mystical world… Portraits: Justin Jordan

You woke up now age spirituality when you moved to LA: what triggered this in you?
This journey actually started around age 19,while I was still living in San Diego. I felt really disillusioned, confused and alone in my discrepancy with mass culture and the economic system. Frankly, my soul was exhausted and I had lost hope in life and I suppose that was when the Universe decided to intervene! Various books opened my consciousness and my heart, and I finally felt like I was getting in touch with what Truth actually felt like, and I had been yearning for that in a deep way. When I moved to LA around 21, I remember my first date with this tattooed Pisces dream boat was at a meditation in an old art gallery with a Japanese Sensei. I thought…“Wow, welcome to LA!!”

And why does the tarot resonate so strongly with you?
I became fascinated with the Tarot not long after moving to Los Angeles. Something about the imagery, colors and symbolism just fits with my psyche and my worldview. I remember when I was really little, I loved to draw and paint with every color I could get my little hands on. The Tarot is an extension of my fascination with beautiful visual aesthetics married with my other love, the esoteric.

What have been the most profound teachings of the tarot for you?
The Tarot has taught me that there is a deeper, more beautiful, more loving and way bigger Truth that lies beyond my fears, programming and ideas around how I think things “should” be. The Tarot has ignited a path for me around trusting my intuition and believing in the perfect imperfection of the life journey! To trust my internal guide and not take myself so seriously, that life is a game.

How did you wind up as The Nine of Crystals in The Starchild Tarot Deck, and what’s your reading of this card?
Danielle (of the Starchild Tarot) had been following each other on Instagram for a while and were always sending one another little love bombs via the comment sections. When she asked if I’d like to photograph for her next version of the deck, I was floored! One of my favorite photographers and dear friend, Tiffanie Byron, photographed me in the majestic Angeles Mountains just 20 minutes outside of the city. My reading of the Nine of Crystals is that in order to change the external, we must change the internal first. The way I appear on the card definitely denotes a trust in the magic of understanding and loving the power of the Self.

You also practice astrology. What do you think will be the astro theme of 2016?
For me the theme of 2016 is self-awareness, self-love, and taking action when we hear the call. Not delaying. If it calls to your heart, go for it! No more denying the soul’s voice. I think the Cosmos is ever asking us to become aware of who we are in a deep way, in a soul way, to take responsibility for our own self-work and internal transformation, and not to place blame on anyone outside of us.

:: MATERIAL GIRL ::

My label
Anything from Principessa in Venice Beach

My shoes
Jeffrey Campbell and a good pair of Vans high tops

Cromwell Boots, $175, Jeffrey Campbell

My fragrance
Santal 33 from Le Labo and doTerra Frankincense oil

Santal 33, $160, Le Labo

My jewels
My Grandpa and Grandma’s Native American heirlooms

My pampering
A gel manicure and a foot massage, please!

My home
Candles, candles, candles, I love beautiful smells! And white Christmas lights, plants, and crystals.

Rose Quartz Pyramid, $22, The Hoodwitch

My food
Erewhon is my home away from home kitchen and I love anything from Gjelina and Laurel Hardware (farm to table cooking is everywhere in LA!)

Cherry tomato, quash blossom + burrata pizza at Gjelina

:: MYSTICAL WORLD :: 

My awakening
Morning visualizations on goals and visions, and Kundalini Meditations

My sign
Aries Sun, Capricorn Rising, Sagittarius Moon

Aries pendant, £255, Laura Lee

My mantra
“I am love, I am beauty, I am power” AND “I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities, through multiple sources on a continuous basis”

My healer
Listening to Bashar and Yogi Bhajan on YouTube. Tarot readings with Clarissa Dolphin.

My reading
Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller – Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century by Napoleon Hill & Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton

My transformation
Learning to love/accept myself and “others.” Respecting that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Trusting the Universe that my path will always be illuminated.

My mission

To remind us that deep beauty and connection does exist in the world.

:: :: ::

Check out our upcoming LA event with Natalia Benson: The Numinous Presents: An Introduction to the Tarot. To register email: [email protected]