HOLY F*CK: SIX WAYS TO SEXUAL HEALING

The sexual dysfunction on our planet is DEEP, says Alexandra Roxo—time to address our collective second chakra problems. PLUS six ways to begin your own sexual healing journey…Additional images: Instagram.com/look_at_this_pussy 

The last month has been a head-slam-against-the-wall of a reminder of our modern world’s second chakra problems—the shooting in Orlando, the Stanford rape cases…WTF. I’ve felt the weight of our planet’s dysfunctional relationship to sex and sexuality more than ever before. I’ve also heard people from around the world pour out their stories online during this time and come together in solidarity and sharing. This has been incredibly moving for me. So many people I know have been assaulted, abused, or experienced attempted assault or rape because of their sexuality, or simply because they are a woman.

Our planet’s sexual dysfunction is DEEP. It’s passed down from generation to generation, and we are all living with it in our DNA and in our bodies. This may manifest as strange and irregular menstrual cycles. Louise Hay says many STI’s are shame-related. So many women have trouble orgasming. You can’t post an image of a woman’s nipple on Instagram. All proof that sexual shame and general fucked-up-ness is still rampant.

And then there’s men’s sexual trauma. Most cis gendered men born in the US are mutilated the first day they’re alive on this planet! My friend Daniel Moglen has been doing workshops with the ManKind project in order to heal himself and his relationship to his own masculinity: “What pains and angers me about my circumcision is the fact that the opportunity to experience deeper sexual pleasure was taken from me (violently!) without my consent within the first few days of entering this world. And that this is such a normalized process in our culture,” he says.

Male genital mutilation is archaic. Its barbarian. And it’s accepted. As well as the supressed anger many men have about this, in a recent podcast sexpert Jaiya discusses how it could even be a reason many men have no rhythm: their hip energy froze out of trauma. WHOA. As a feminist who can be quick to blame things on the patriarchy, lately I’ve been accepting that this early sexual assault on many cismen could be behind a lot of sexual aggression.

And we haven’t even BEGUN to discuss global sex trafficking, female genital mutilation, systemic rape. The list goes on. So are we just…fucked?

Well, it’s my personal belief that one of the answers to healing this insane deadening of the Earth’s sacral chakra is indeed that: Fucking. And cuming. As much as possible. In the most sacred of ways. I mean, John and Yoko knew what the fuck they were talking about!

As a queer woman who has been through my own second chakra traumas, I feel like I am doubly called to this mission: CUE MARVIN GAYE’s Sexual Healing. (Also this video.)

My friend Daniella Rabbani and I have even been working on a new project called “The Cuming and the Curious” which chronicles a West Village/Hamptons Jewish living married gal (Daniella) and a queer free spirit single gal (me) in search of better sex. And in this search we have discovered MANY sexual healing crusaders of note!

Our fave sexpert is Kim Anami. Please watch this video. She believes that women all over the world are under-fucked—claiming that a stronger vagina and more orgasms keeps your body in better shape than 1000 pilates classes a week. She claims your depression will lift. Your ass will lift. You will radiate wellbeing. And she makes it a point to add: “This does not come from junk food sex. Only gourmet sex.” We are talking about a deeper sex. An orgasm that strikes you to the core. UM YES PLEASE.

Sexual energy has the power to heal you. Also to heal your lover. And the Earth. And yet avoiding or bottling up sexual energy is another form of dysfunction for 99% of people, and therefore society. See many Catholic priests, and how their vows of celibacy lead to sexual perversion.

On a physical level avoiding sex can also mean trouble. Depression. Weight gain. Endless snacking. When you have sex you wash cortisol out of your body, preventing belly fat. Your breasts also swell up to 25%. We are animals, people! And our bodies were made to be animalistic!

But what if you aren’t feeling like sex, or even masturbation, at all? Well, sorry to break it to ya but this means the energy simply isn’t flowing down there. It’s happened to me before and it sucks. Kim Anami says, if you aren’t getting wet for someone (including yourself!) then there is a dysfunction. She is anti-lube for that reason!

So how do we find sexual healing in this fucked up world, with it’s second chakra pain? We start with ourselves. Like Gandhi said. Like Rumi said. Like basically everyone said. So here goes…

:: How To Begin Your Sexual Healing Journey ::

  1. Volunteer. I’ve been doing this since I was a pre-teen and it’s one of the most rewarding things on the planet. Find an LGBT youth center. A women’s shelter. A sex trafficking organization. Whatever touches you, give your time. It will heal you and also others in turn. Once a month or once a week just start doing it.
  2. Start a jade egg practice. I started using a jade egg when I saw Aislinn from Moon Root Yoni Eggs post about them on Insta, and immediately began feeling the power in my puss. You can get all sorts of stones for different kinds of healing—I got a red agate to bring the heat and I really feel it. Kim Anami is also pro-jade egg. She even adds a weight!
  3. Conscious touch and relating. If you’re in a relationship and haven’t been feeling sexy lately start slow, with some massage and conscious touching. And if you’re single, consider ways you can be touched that don’t involved you getting wasted and ending up in a stranger’s bed. Maybe it’s contact improv. Or trading massages with a hot guy. Or finding a tantric sexual practice. Or exploring touch with a friend (with some clear boundaries in place). Once you release social conditioning about touching and being touched the possibilities are endless.
  4. Movement. I am SO pro-movement. Daniella swears by Gyrotonic. I love 5Rhythms, dancehall, and hip hop. Move those hips.
  5. Sharing. Find a women’s circle where you can talk about your orgasms or lack thereof. Your sexual traumas. You desires. Or create one! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Carrying shame and guilt and secrets around sex can be really harmful to yourself, so find a way to let it all out in a safe space.
  6. Do your research. Read books. Watch videos. Learn about your body. Did you know that there are reflexology points in your pussy? That the cervix is connected to your heart, which is what makes orgasms from that space so opening? That tiny points on your clit are connected to your whole body? When you start to get to know it you’ll be like “Dang the left tip of my clit connects to my deep belly! WEIRD!” Educate yo’self!

Finally, I am guiding a weekly Virtual Women’s Circle to facilitate conversations about conscious sexual practice and healing. One hour a week on the phone, it’s totally anonymous (you can use a sexy pseudonym!) and anyone can dial in to ask questions and chat about sex and spirituality. Email me here to sign up.

Alexandra Roxo is an LA based filmmaker who also does one-on-one intuitive counsel, energy work sessions, and mentorship. Red more and contact her on alexandraroxo.com. Follow her on Insta here and read her past Numinous articles on Now Age love and sex here.

YOGA BEAUTY SECRETS WITH GURU JAGAT

Cold showers and the mysterious powers of the jade egg. Ruby Warrington gets a lesson in yoga beauty secrets from Guru Jagat

If you read our previous interview with cosmic kundalini yoga powerhouse Guru Jagat, you’ll be aware that thia is a woman who does not mince her words. And seeing as telling things like they are is in the DNA of all things Numinous (you gotta get real to get healed, right?) it’s no wonder she’s become something of an iconic figure among the Numinati.

So was I psyched to join her for an 8am session on Yogic Beauty Secrets at holistic haven CAP Beauty in NYC last week? Let’s just say the cosmos would have had to pull some seriously gnarly s*** to stop me being there – despite the scheduling conflict with my usual morning snuggle time with the husb.

And boy did she not disappoint. I think the reason Guru Jagat’s teachings are resonating so strongly right now, is that she has a unique way of taking ancient spiritual wisdom and packaging it up in a way that feels totally relevant for now – as in the Now Age, baby!

Over kale, avocado, cantaloupe and black pepper smoothies from Gingersnap’s Organic, we learned things like the benefits of a yoghurt bath (just add a handful of organic live yoghurt to the water as an external probiotic), and how the quality of your vaginal walls is reflected in the lines on your face – for realz! Also the reason why Guru Jagat recommends all women take to using a jade egg for “toning” purposes…

Intrigued? Here Guru Jagat shares more yoga beauty secrets from her guru, kudalini yoga founder Yogi Bhajan, as detailed in his series The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan.

Guru Jagat at CAP Beauty last week

:: WAKE-UP ROUTINE ::
Wake-up gently, cupping the hands over the eyes and then opening the eyes and slowly moving the hands away. Before getting out of bed each morning massage the ovaries for about five minutes and the breasts and the area around the breasts for another five minutes. This provides proper circulation.

:: 3 DAILY TIPS FOR WOMEN ::
1. To be beautiful, slim and full of energy, women must vigorously exercise each day – until there is sweat on the brow. (This is imperative during menopause!)
2. Life nerve stretch – to be performed daily. Sit down with your legs extended. Reach for your toes and bend forward with straight legs, bringing your nose between your knees; your elbows should touch the floor. As long as a woman maintains this standard of the pose, she will stay young. As you get older the third vertebra shrinks; this exercise stretches the spine at the third vertebra keeping you flexible and strong.
3. A woman should nap 11 minutes, twice a day.

:: 10 NUTRITIONAL TIPS FOR WOMEN ::
1. Substitute lemon for salt
2. Detox with green chilli: no poisons will build up in the intestines.
3. Meditation aid and improving memory: two bananas a day with lemon juice
4. P-fruits in general are good for a woman, especially: peaches, plums, papaya, pears, persimmons, prunes
5. For the glandular system, The Turnip Diet: Steam white turnips, mash them and add almond oil, turmeric, lemon and pepper. Must be a monodiet. You may also use the turnip greens.
6. Internal cosmetic: Turmeric is most healing
7. Liver cleansing: Beets steamed whole and then peeled. Can be eaten with a little yogurt and one glass of orange juice in the morning.
8. Nerves: celery juice
9. Stomach and intestinal tract cleanser: Finely chopped orange peel, sautéed in olive oil, mixed with turmeric paste (cooked in water)
10. Water retention (bloating): Cucumber juice and lemons

:: SUGAR – THE ENEMY OF A WOMAN’S YOUTH ::
“Fructose, sucrose, whatever you want to call it, is the enemy of a woman’s youth. When I see you eating cake, ice cream, cookies and chocolate this and chocolate that, and then you say, “No, no, it’s honey, not sugar,” it doesn’t bother me. But I know that the shine in you, the shine of a woman, is going to be lost. There is only one enemy of the woman— and that is sweetness in any shape or form. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it makes you look old.”

That glow, which a woman produces because of her hormones, is gone. Watch how politely you are hooked to sugar. Watch very clearly and understand it. Go for one week on a diet free of all sorts of sugar. Notice the change; you will be shocked. You don’t have to bring heavens to the Earth. Simply understand that there are certain things that don’t suit you.” – Yogi Bhajan, summer 1983

:: THE PERFECT BREAKFAST DRINK FOR WOMEN ::
Yogi Bhajan said that women, especially over the age of 28, should begin supplementing their diet with high quality, cold-pressed oils, first thing in the morning: two tablespoons of almond, sesame or olive oil, combined or alone, along with a tablespoon or two of ground flax seed every day.

If these oils are taken at night, they act as a laxative. Taken together or used by themselves,they lower cholesterol, reduce fat in the body, keep the skin healthy, reduce hunger, cleanse the body of toxins and are excellent sources of protein. In addition, 2-3 tablespoons of water soluble liquid chlorophyll in a glass of water daily is really helpful to the large intestines.

Here’s a perfect nutritious breakfast drink for women, rich in potassium, iron, oils and the alkaline qualities of chlorophyll. This drink provides a woman with the necessary daily doses of sesame or almond oil which nurtures her skin and hair, chlorophyll as an internal cleanser, and rice bran syrup which supports the nervous system.
1 ripe banana
8 ounces (250 ml) orange juice
1 Tablespoon (20 ml) liquid chlorophyll
2 Teaspoons Rice Bran Syrup
2 Teaspoons cold-pressed almond or sesame oil
Blend well until frothy.

:: WOMEN AND COLD SHOWERS ::
Showers should be cold. Cold showers preserve a woman as a woman; they correct
imbalanced menstruation, prevent early menopause, skin problems and they help her to
keep her glow.

11 benefits of Cold Showers:
1. Bring blood to the capillaries
2. Cleanse the circulatory system
3. Reduce blood pressure on internal organs, flushing internal organs and giving them a new supply of blood
4. Strengthen the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems
5. Contract the muscles and cause them to eliminate toxins and poisons more quickly
6. Bring the power of resistance and resilience to the body
7. Strengthen the mucous membranes
8. Keep the skin young and shining
9. Prevent the body from developing an extra layer of fat, which affects the liver
10. Balance all the glands
11. Circulation and nerve problems can be prevented by regular cold showers.

Note: When menstruating, women should not take a cold shower. A woman is advised to take showers with lukewarm water during the menstrual cycle.

Instructions
Always precede cold showers with a massage of almond oil or olive oil. Be sure to massage the breasts, too.

It is recommended that a woman wear undershorts that cover her thighs while she is in the shower. This protects the sex nerve and the femur (thigh bone) from the sudden changes in temperature. (The femur regulates the production of calcium in the body and is very sensitive to temperature.)

After the massage, step into the shower. Let the cold water strike your body while you briskly massage the water into the skin. Move! Chant Sat Nam Wahe Guru! You should not stand continuously under a cold shower, nor should you do Breath of Fire to keep yourself warm. Instead, rub the skin vigorously.

Then step out of the water and continue to massage the skin. Then step back in, and be sure to stand under the spray and allow the breasts to be massaged by the water; continue massaging your entire body, step out again and repeat this process three or four times until you feel warm—even though the water is still cold. This will show the capillaries have opened up and are bringing blood to the surface of the skin.

When finished, dry yourself briskly with a towel. Of course, the ideal is a daily cold shower (ishnan), but Yogi Bhajan later encourages women to do it at least once a week—as a minimum requirement.

Have you been following any of Yogi Bhajan’s beauty tips? Share your stories with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

Find out more about Guru Jagat and her Ra Ma Institute here