BEYOND BFFS: HOW TO CREATE A COVEN

Something very special happens when women come together in ceremony. Erin Telford explains how to create a Coven – and bonds that run deep as blood.

Cara and her coven, photographed by Richard Bush for i-D magazine

There is something really interesting happening in the world of women. The Divine Feminine is re-emerging and wiping her sleepy eyes. Female power is being celebrated rather than scoffed at. We are starting to actually know what that means and how to elegantly wield it. The Wild Woman part of us is daring to get real.

The return of the modern Sorceress is everywhere. She’s earth-tuned, sensual, smart, and flooding our Instagram feeds with potent imagery. It’s been more than 300 years since the Salem witch trials, and finally it feels like it might be safe for her to come out and play again.

The Witchy Woman of 2014 is turned on and she wants us to be too. She is deeply vibrating with the natural rhythms of the Earth. She’s a magnetic force for all of us little girls who were drawn to casting spells and spending lots of time in the woods.

Those baby dreamers are all grown up now and we are looking for each other. Searching for soul recognition in each other’s eyes, looking to be understood, to be honored, to be seen. We’re not just looking for a crew; we’re looking for our family.

Lucky for us, Covens are back and they are right on time.

A Coven is defined as: “a group of at least three witches who come together in ceremony and to practice magick.” I’d like to alter that just a bit. While not all women are witches, all women are potentially witchy. “Ceremony” can be your weekly brunch date, and “magic” always happens when you leave your ladies feeling loved and inspired.

So how do you begin to cultivate your own modern day Coven? If you already have one, consider yourself truly blessed. If you’ve had to cull some characters over the years, you may need to add to your pack. If you’re feeling bereft of nurturing female bonds, this will be a good place to start.

The wise woman begins any endeavor by first grounding herself, strengthening her spirit and tapping into her intuition. You have everything you need inside to find your new tried and trues, or deepen existing relationships. These won’t be ordinary friendships. We’re talking inner circle – the faces you’ll want to see at births, deaths, weddings and funerals, breakups and breakdowns.

Start with the women in your life. Who do you hang out with that leaves you feeling more alive and inspired? Who do you hang out with that leaves you tired and happy to be going home? Notice your energy around your friends and let it guide you. A one note emotional state isn’t ideal if you want to be truly intimate and connect with someone. However, for the most part the vibe should be good and you should be able to be completely yourself.

See who you resonate most with, and give a little extra sugar to these ladies. Engage with them, care for them, check in with them. With all of our electronic ways of communication, we are sorely lacking in intimacy. So call your sweethearts. They might be startled at first, but they will be delighted.

See past the bravado. I also do not buy into the “women are catty” myth. Women want to be loved, supported and accepted, and if they are being competitive, it’s usually because they are insecure, anxious, or afraid. You don’t have to be a therapist to see that some women have been knocked around more than others and are wary. If you can feel their kind heart, stick with them and see how good it gets when the ice melts a bit.

Look for women that can hold space for each other’s personal development. The unevolved woman is going to be fearful and say you’ve changed. The evolved woman is going to know you have just released another block to reveal more of your authentic self. She will always be curious about your process and the depths of your emotional life. She will ask you about your deepest desires and sit thoughtfully with your answers. Your combined fertile energy will be powerful fuel for both of your lives.

Create and practice ritual together. Cast spells of support, love, and understanding through spending time next to each other on your yoga mats. Sing your truths out and shine those heart chakras far and wide with kirtan. Meditate together. Honor the phases of the Moon with a circle. Cook together and feed each other. If you do energy work, heal each other. Spend time in nature appreciating Mother Earth, swimming in oceans, climbing mountains, and watching sunrises together. Sit in silence and allow the other to exist in complete acceptance with you.

Don’t keep your best girls a secret. If you have many special one on one friendships and are craving a Coven, get these ladies together! Introduce your golden girls to each other in a supportive, bonding environment. Cherry pick the group. Have a house party, get some snacks, make a signature cocktail and watch everyone fall in love.

As hostess (aka acting High Priestess of the Coven), devise a ritual to unite the group. At my last birthday party, I invited 16 women to come and celebrate in my home. A couple of them knew each other, but they were all coming together for the first time. As we sipped Organic Pear & Vanilla Bean vodka cocktails, I asked everyone to write down their most outlandish wish for the new year. I had some special “flash paper” that poofs and instantly disappears when you touch a match to it.

We mixed all the anonymous wishes in a vase and gathered in a circle. Each woman would draw a wish, read it out loud to applause and support, and then light it on fire to release to the Universe. Everyone received the experience of having her wildest dream celebrated and given a special spotlight of attention.

It was a New Moon that night, and it felt just like love. Not to mention a whole lot like magick.

Find out more about Erin Telford and her work at Radiantheartacupuncture.com and @radianthearthealing

Erin Telford

MY MANTRA: Feel it to heal it.// MY MISSION: To destigmatize emotions, open hearts and change the face of emotional health. Emotions are not negative, they are informative. When we aren't afraid of what's inside ourselves, there is no shame and healing is limitless. // MY STYLE: Sunkissed, cut-offs, and bare feet. // MY SIGN: Sag Sun/Leo Moon/Scorpio Rising// MY HEALING: My body, my breath and the Earth.
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